Youve probably encountered one at the gas station - the strange looking
fellow with his odd rectangular red metal can, labeled GASOLINE, front
and back, puming a mere gallon of gasoline. What really got your
attention was when he pulled a little plastic bottle out of his old
jacket pocket and poured its mysterious content into the can with the
gas. And when he put the metal top back on the can you noticed that it
wasnt Child Proofed. You thought Thats an odd fellow. as you
watched him drive away - in his OLD pickup.
Your at the 7-11 around 11 pm, getting the milk you forgot to get when
you went grocery shopping two days ago. The guy in front of you at the
register getting a pound of Pemican and wearing a dusty jump suit, dusty
ball cap and - what look like big plastic ear muffs arund the back of
his neck - confirms the adage - Youll see the strangest people at 7-11
- especially if its next to a laundromat.
Youre at The Borg with your fourth grader. Youre there to get some
quarter inch ply your daughter needs for her science project. While
shes going through ALL the quarter sheets to make sure she gets the
best one you notice a guy going through ALL the oak boards in the rack
20 feet away. He pulls out board after board looking carefully at each
face, siting down one edge and looking down the end of each board. A
half an hour later your daughter has FINALLY picked just the right piece
of plywood and the guys still going through the stack of oak. And even
after standing in line at the Contractors Register for 20 minutes, you
notice that guys still going through the rack of oak boards - and still
hasnt picked out even one board.
Its Sunady morning, the only day you get to sleep in, and youre
awakened by a strange sound - a buzzing/chattering noise that lasts
maybe 10 or 15 seconds, followed by the sound of a quieter, but still
loud, low hum. Then the buzzing begins again, this time with less
chattering, and then the low hum again. The buzzing noises quiet down
but the low hum stays about the same. You finally doze off, only to be
awakened by the sound of a power saw of some sort. The sound is
intermitten, short 5 second bursts, a short period of silence, then
another burst from the saw. After a minute or two theres another 30
seconds of sawing with another gap of silence. Now youre wide awake
and you begin thinking about all the things you need to do today. By
now the noise has stopped.
Your nine year old comes home with a bunch of small pieces of wood or
various colors and shapes - all glued together, maybe with some feather
duster feathers sticking out of holes drilled in the wood. Look what I
made! You know better than to ask What is it? and wisely say
something like Thats pretty nice son, tell me about it. Your son
starts his story with You know the guy down the street with all the
power tools?
Its Halloween, or it could be Christmas. The front yard of a house two
streets over Is full of carefully painted plywood cut out figures,
ghosts, goblins and witches, or reindeer, Santa and his sled - full of
toys - or maybe a life sized Nativity Scene. Theyre all done well but
you wonder who has the time to make all that stuff.
Your wife comes home raving about the wonderful kitchen table one of her
girlfriends made in a shop class Adult Ed has at the high school your
son goes to. Why dont WE take one of those shop classes! You could
make a bunch of shelves and cabinets for all the stuff in the garage -
and I could make a beautiful hope chest for our daughter! You think to
yourself but dont actually say Yeah right. Where are WE going to find
the time to take a class - and a shop class at that? But what you
actually say, or rather, mumble ,is Yes dear. and hope she wont
pursue this crazy idea. Then, to get away, you take the garbage out to
the garbage can.
In each of the above cases youve encountered the new subcutlture -
the amateur woodworker, aka Wood Dorkesr, and perhaps one of their wood
masters - The Galoot. This diverse, semi-underground movement secretly
has a goal - to convert YOUR garage into what THEY call The Shop. And
they will help you down The Slippery Slope by perhaps offering you some
of their old tools and machines they no longer need or have shop space
for - since they upgraded to what they refer to as Heavy Iron - whatever
that is. At first its only a corded electric drill, then a power miter
saw and perhaps even a bench top or contractors table saw - with a rip
fence -whatever that is.
Youll accept these items thinking they might come in handy for home
repairs/home improvements, and youve been thinking about making some
kind of bench to work on out in the garage. No alarm bells will go off -
no AH HA! exclamations of the recognition of an attack on your check
book or your spare time.
Then, while channel surfing, you find some guy named Norm on a show
called New Yankee Workshop. The guys got a funny Bahstin accent, wears
flannel shirts and has a beard - but hes making some cabinets out of
plywood or something called em dee ef. You stop and watch the whole
show. When its over you think Hell I could do that! and start
thinking about how nice it would be to have some cabinets in the garage,
or maybe one above the washer and drier for all the laundry soap, SHOUT,
fabric softner and dryer sheet boxes.
On your next trip to the bookstore, while passng the magazine rack you
notice all the woodworking magazines. One has Build Your Own Garage
Cabinets! on the cover. A quick glance through that issue and youre
sure you could make some for your garage. You tuck the magazine under
your arm and head off for the books on wine. Along the way you pick up
a copy of Woodworking For Dummies. You dont even notice that youre
beginning to accelerate down The Slippery Slope and that youre
approaching The Point of No Return.
No one is there to tell you about Dust Collectors, Joiners, Planers,
SCMSes, Bessy Clamps, padouk, ipe, flame birch, quilted maple. You
dont know what spalted means and dovetails are only part of a
specific kind of bird. Youve never heard of Lie Nielsen, Lee Valley or
Veritas, and Stanley is merely the actual name of your buddy Stan. All
that - and a whole lot more - will come in time. And if you get into
this subcutlure of amateur woodworkers, in time, youll learn about
The Cabal - maybe.
YOUVE BEEN WARNED.
charlie b
(one of THEM)
charlie b wrote:
>
> And
> they will help you down The Slippery Slope by perhaps offering you some
> of their old tools and machines they no longer need or have shop space
> for - since they upgraded to what they refer to as Heavy Iron - whatever
> that is. At first it's only a corded electric drill, then a power miter
> saw and perhaps even a bench top or contractors table saw - with a rip
> fence -whatever that is.
>
> You'll accept these items thinking they might come in handy for home
> repairs/home improvements, and you've been thinking about making some
> kind of bench to work on out in the garage. No alarm bells will go off -
> no "AH HA!" exclamations of the recognition of an attack on your check
> book or your "spare time".
Tool pushers. The first one is always free.
> Then, while channel surfing, you find some guy named Norm on a show
> called New Yankee Workshop. The guy's got a funny Bahstin accent, wears
> flannel shirts and has a beard - but he's making some cabinets out of
> plywood or something called "em dee ef". You stop and watch the whole
> show. When it's over you think "Hell I could do that!" and start
> thinking about how nice it would be to have some cabinets in the garage,
> or maybe one above the washer and drier for all the laundry soap, SHOUT,
> fabric softner and dryer sheet boxes.
"Hell, I could do that." has been the root of my learning basically
everything I've learned since college. Maybe I've beern lucky, but I
haven't gotten myself in over my head yet. I've had to stretch my neck
like a giraffe, but I haven't gotten in over my head!
> No one is there to tell you about Dust Collectors, Joiners, Planers,
> SCMSes, Bessy Clamps, padouk, ipe, flame birch, quilted maple. You
> don't know what "spalted" means and dovetails are only part of a
> specific kind of bird. You've never heard of Lie Nielsen, Lee Valley or
> Veritas, and Stanley is merely the actual name of your buddy Stan. All
> that - and a whole lot more - will come in time. And if you get into
> this subcutlure of "amateur woodworkers", in time, you'll learn about
> The Cabal - maybe.
You're treading awfully close to the edge, Charlie. If you'd spilled
the beans about the tattoo and handshake, well...let's just say that a
15" planer doesn't only plane wood.
R
Searcher wrote:
> Yeah, what was in that little plastic bottle?
>
> BTW, our 7-11 sells pemmicin.THe brown bag with the indian on it, right?
>
Does it say Red Man on the front?
--
Gerald Ross
Cochran, GA
Socialism is the equal distribution of
poverty.
----== Posted via Newsfeeds.Com - Unlimited-Unrestricted-Secure Usenet News==----
http://www.newsfeeds.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! 120,000+ Newsgroups
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Locutus wrote:
> "Charles Spitzer" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> >
> > "Locutus" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> > news:[email protected]...
> >>
> >> "Tom Nie" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> >> news:p%[email protected]...
> >>> Two-stroke oil additive.
> >>>
> >>
> >> I figured that might be it, but couldn't figure out how that would relate
> >> to a woodworker...
> >
> > chainsaw?
> >
>
> ok... I guess you could use a chainsaw to make some crosscuts. :)
Preparing turning blanks from logs?
I used my chainsaw for preparing turning blanks for a long time until I
got my christmas present from me the year before this, a Laguna 16 HD.
Now it is a bit quieter in my neighborhood.
Lets hope that the old guy was putting premium gas in the can.
I was out in the shop a week or 2 ago, because I had to do an
inventory. I figured out that my shop is worth as much as my house. It
aint much of a house, but it is a very nice shop, especially if it was
about twice the size it is now. Well, maybe 3 or 4 times the size. The
house only needs to be about half again as big. The shop would probably
still be worth more than the house. We do have priorities.
robo hippy
Wed, Feb 22, 2006, 10:52am (EST-3) [email protected] (charlie=A0b)
did put out a load of stuff that was snipped:
<snippity, snip, sniperoo>
You should hav started that one out with, "Once upon a time".
"Odd looking" gas can? I've seen them for sale at the convience
store gastations, Wally World, the hardware store, etc. Haven't seen a
gas can yet with a child-proof cap.
Who can afford a pound of 7-ll pammican, at their prices? The few
people I've seen wearing jump suits would be horried if it was dusty.
Besides, areal man won't want something like a jump suit showing him up
if he's got to go. And, who wears their ear muffs out of the shop? =
Who shops at the Borg for good wood?
Most guys, when they wake up, start thinking about something eat,
and/or something with caffeine in it, not whatever they "need" to do on
that day. Don't worry, your wife is more than happy to let you know hat
you "need" to do.
You know you're not gonna let your kid anywhere near some guy with
power tools.
Have you "ever" seen a bunch of those yard figure "done well"? Or
made by anyone owing any tools other than a sabre saw?
I've never heard of anyone makinganything as exotic as a kitchen
table in an adult education shop class. IF there's even one offerred.
Give away perfectly good tools? Hah, yeah, sure, right, In real
life, they get ut away, "in case you need them again", are converted to
some other function, torn down for parts, or are totally dead, and
tossed.
What? No mention of Roy? At least you didn't mention Bob, that
much is in your favor.
You didn't ention used bookstores. Or he library.
There is no Cabal. Take their word for it.
JOAT
IThere is no vaccine against stupidity!
"charlie b" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> You've probably encountered one at the gas station - the strange looking
> fellow with his odd rectangular red metal can, labeled GASOLINE, front
> and back, puming a mere gallon of gasoline. What really got your
> attention was when he pulled a little plastic bottle out of his old
> jacket pocket and poured its mysterious content into the can with the
> gas. And when he put the metal top back on the can you noticed that it
> wasn't Child Proofed. You thought "That's an odd fellow." as you
> watched him drive away - in his OLD pickup.
>
I don't get this one...
"Tom Nie" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:p%[email protected]...
> Two-stroke oil additive.
>
I figured that might be it, but couldn't figure out how that would relate to
a woodworker...
"Charles Spitzer" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "Locutus" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>>
>> "Tom Nie" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>> news:p%[email protected]...
>>> Two-stroke oil additive.
>>>
>>
>> I figured that might be it, but couldn't figure out how that would relate
>> to a woodworker...
>
> chainsaw?
>
ok... I guess you could use a chainsaw to make some crosscuts. :)
On Wed, 22 Feb 2006 10:52:07 -0800, charlie b <[email protected]>
wrote:
>YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
Once they've found the wreck it's too late for them. The best you do
now is tell them to buy lots of bandaids. And don't skimp, you don't
want the kind that fall off the second you flex your finger or sweat
one drop. You want the kind that when you pull it off there's a 50-50
shot it's your fingernail that's going to pull off your finger rather
than the bandaid off your fingernail and a line of adhesive around the
outline of where it was that won't come off for another week.
I'd suggest covering cars with sawdust and writing in it to get the
message out. I would not however recommend a pointy stick as the
writing implement, unless you round it over, in which case I don't
believe you could call it a pointy stick anymore.
-Leuf
On Wed, 22 Feb 2006 10:52:07 -0800, charlie b <[email protected]>
wrote:
Boy, have you got this pegged!
charlie b <[email protected]> wrote:
>Your at the 7-11 around 11 pm, getting the milk you forgot to get when
>you went grocery shopping two days ago. The guy in front of you at the
>register getting a pound of Pemican
Your 7-11 sells pemmican?
Ken Muldrew
[email protected]
(remove all letters after y in the alphabet)
On Wed, 22 Feb 2006 10:52:07 -0800, charlie b <[email protected]>
wrote:
>Youve probably encountered one at the gas station - the strange looking
>fellow with his odd rectangular red metal can, labeled GASOLINE, front
<much reverent snippage>
Ayuh, I've seent 'im knockin' 'round the dumpstah that's on the ass
end of the sawmill.
Pokin' and lookin' and pokin' a bit more.
Kinda stirrin' the trash up like he's about to turn up some gold.
His "For Special" car is an El Camino of unknown vintage, being
shrouded with so much wood dust.
He heats his shop with culls that didn't make it to the lathe.
He lives a life that's half finished - which is why his woman left
him.
But - it did take him two and a half months to notice that she was
gone.
Regards,
Tom Watson
tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email)
http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1/
Wed, Feb 22, 2006, 9:13pm [email protected] (Tom=A0Watson) doth <snip>
His "For Special" car is an El
> Camino of unknown vintage, being
>shrouded with so much wood dust. <snip>
Which reminds me, I know where there's a nice El C, that's been
sitting for a few years. "Gotta" check that out.
> But - it did take him two and a half
> months to notice that she was gone.
Yeah, he noticed. She took the dog.
JOAT
Don't make me use UPPER CASE.
Bruce Barnett (in [email protected]) said:
| charlie b <[email protected]> writes:
|
|| And if you get into this subcutlure of 'amateur woodworkers',
|| in time, you'll learn about The Cabal - maybe.
|
| Shouldn't of done that. They don't like to be talked about.
| I can see it now.
|
| One day, a '46 Woody in emacular condition will drive up, and a guy
| in a bib overall and a carpenter's pencil behind his ear will come
| to your door carrying a wooden toolbox.
charlie b's post didn't show up on news.qwest.net which just goes to
prove there is no Cabal. :-|
--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto
Locutus wrote:
> "Charles Spitzer" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>
>>"Locutus" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>>news:[email protected]...
>>
>>>"Tom Nie" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>>>news:p%[email protected]...
>>>
>>>>Two-stroke oil additive.
>>>>
>>>
>>>I figured that might be it, but couldn't figure out how that would relate
>>>to a woodworker...
>>
>>chainsaw?
>>
>
>
> ok... I guess you could use a chainsaw to make some crosscuts. :)
Or a whaddayacallem... tiki thingie.
er
--
email not valid
Wed, Feb 22, 2006, 3:52pm (EST-3) [email protected] (Enoch=A0Root)
doth sayeth:
Or a whaddayacallem... tiki thingie.
Damn straight. A chainsaw is a precision woodworking tool.
JOAT
Don't make me use UPPER CASE.
>
> Its Sunady morning, the only day you get to sleep in, and youre
> awakened by a strange sound - a buzzing/chattering noise that lasts
> maybe 10 or 15 seconds, followed by the sound of a quieter, but still
> loud, low hum. Then the buzzing begins again, this time with less
> chattering, and then the low hum again. The buzzing noises quiet down
> but the low hum stays about the same. You finally doze off, only to be
> awakened by the sound of a power saw of some sort. The sound is
> intermitten, short 5 second bursts, a short period of silence, then
> another burst from the saw. After a minute or two theres another 30
> seconds of sawing with another gap of silence. Now youre wide awake
> and you begin thinking about all the things you need to do today. By
> now the noise has stopped.
I have been intending to hunt this sound down. I'll catch him/her in
the spring!
--
Thank you,
"Then said I, Wisdom [is] better than strength: nevertheless the poor
man's wisdom [is] despised, and his words are not heard." Ecclesiastes 9:16
"Swingman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> "charlie b" wrote in message
>> You've probably encountered one at the gas station -
>
> <much good stuff sniffed>
>
> That voice in your head at it again, Charlie?
>
> Thank goodness!
>
Sounds like a longer version of the chant boots heard at Parris Island in
the '50s, usually as they lined up for their first chow: "You'll be
sorreeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
But, hell, by that time they already were.
"Locutus" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "Tom Nie" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:p%[email protected]...
>> Two-stroke oil additive.
>>
>
> I figured that might be it, but couldn't figure out how that would relate
> to a woodworker...
chainsaw?
charlie b <[email protected]> writes:
> And if you get into this subcutlure of 'amateur woodworkers',
> in time, you'll learn about The Cabal - maybe.
Shouldn't of done that. They don't like to be talked about.
I can see it now.
One day, a '46 Woody in emacular condition will drive up, and a guy in
a bib overall and a carpenter's pencil behind his ear will come to
your door carrying a wooden toolbox.
All the public knows is that the auger they drilled you with wasn't
Metric......
--
Sending unsolicited commercial e-mail to this account incurs a fee of
$500 per message, and acknowledges the legality of this contract.
Two-stroke oil additive.
TomNie
"Locutus" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "charlie b" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> You've probably encountered one at the gas station - the strange looking
>> fellow with his odd rectangular red metal can, labeled GASOLINE, front
>> and back, puming a mere gallon of gasoline. What really got your
>> attention was when he pulled a little plastic bottle out of his old
>> jacket pocket and poured its mysterious content into the can with the
>> gas. And when he put the metal top back on the can you noticed that it
>> wasn't Child Proofed. You thought "That's an odd fellow." as you
>> watched him drive away - in his OLD pickup.
>>
>
> I don't get this one...
>
Locutus wrote:
> "charlie b" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>
>>You've probably encountered one at the gas station - the strange looking
>>fellow with his odd rectangular red metal can, labeled GASOLINE, front
>>and back, puming a mere gallon of gasoline. What really got your
>>attention was when he pulled a little plastic bottle out of his old
>>jacket pocket and poured its mysterious content into the can with the
>>gas. And when he put the metal top back on the can you noticed that it
>>wasn't Child Proofed. You thought "That's an odd fellow." as you
>>watched him drive away - in his OLD pickup.
>>
>
>
> I don't get this one...
Two cycle Chainsaw?
er
--
email not valid