A friend of mine (whose dad is a retired CHP officer) sent this to me. This
story is from her dad:
'OK -so I am pulling into the Home Depot parking lot today to get a garage
door opener with my kayak on my truck and some asshole construction worker
who was most likely drunk or on speed blows around me in his modified F350
and almost runs over a woman and her two small kids. The jerk yells at her
to get the f*@k out of his way as he lights up his tires. (Where's a cop
when you need one) As I find a parking space and get out of my truck I see
the same asshole parked in the handicap parking and takes up two spaces. (NO
PLACARD)! As I walk by asshole has the nerve to say Hey "Kayaks are for
fags. Get a life and get a boat"!
I just smile. I let the jackass go into the store and when he does I ran
back to my truck and get my club steering wheel lock cause the sucker left
his window open. Yes - I reached in and clubed his steering wheel. Blamo
he's not going anywhere! Yup he's screwed! Next I got my cell phone and
called the police and tell them I see a man trying to steel a BBQ from Home
Depot gave details of the man and truck. Shorty after two police cars pull
up and the man is now at his truck going fu@*ng crazy cause he can't move...
Guess what - HE GOT A PARKING TICKET FOR PARKING IN HANDICAP PARKING AND HE
HAD TO PAY THE TOW TRUCK TO REMOVE MY CLUB! He almost went to jail for being
out of control. I'm still laughing out loud! Ooops, I forgot to give him the
key to unlock his new club?
I had to sit back and watch all the excitement with a huge smile...
PRICELESS!!!"
"Mike Dembroge" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Wow & oops! Last time I post a non-topic on a whim! Upon further review,
I
> do believe the assumption that this is urban-legend is accurate. It does
> make sense.
>
> However, many of you seem to think this (fictitious) guy filed a false
> report and that doing so is a felony. The story never says anything about
> filing a report. He just made a call saying a guy was trying to steal a
> BBQ. That's not filing a report. I called the police one night because a
> guy was in my neighbor's yard at midnight snooping around their car.
> Suppose he was looking for his lighter or something innocent like that.
> Does that make me guilty of a felony?
>
> I emailed the person who sent this to me rib her about all the responses
it
> has received (I'm blown away by it), and told her about the false report
> statements and it being a felony. Well, since she's the office manager
for
> a law office, she sent me the following:
> "Penal Code Section 148.5. (a) Every person who reports to any peace
> officer listed in Section 830.1 or 830.2, or subdivision (a) of Section
> 830.33, district attorney, or deputy district attorney that a felony or
> misdemeanor has been committed, knowing the report to be false, is guilty
of
> a misdemeanor."
>
> Oh well, time to put this little mistake to bed. Sorry for the detraction
> from the real purpose of this NG. Won't happen again.
>
> Mike
<sarchasm>
Thanks, Mike. Until your post, this newsgroup was 100% on-topic. Way to
screw up a good thing.
</sarchasm>
todd
In article <[email protected]>, Unisaw A100
<[email protected]> wrote:
> UA100, who occasionally introduces his wife as, "this is my
> first wife"...
Hmmmmm.
I might begin introducing Mrs. Craig as "this is my last wife".
Before we married, she informed me that if I ever divorced her, I
better like the idea of living with my ex, because she wasn't going
anywhere. ;-)
Kevin
In article <[email protected]>, Tim Douglass
<[email protected]> wrote:
> On 15 Sep 2003 09:36:16 -0700, [email protected] (John
> Schreiber) wrote:
>
> >Haven't you heard that truth is stranger than fiction. I have no
> >inside knowledge that this is true, but the main proof that it is
> >false is that people have too much common sense to do something like
> >this.
>
> Considering that I once saw (first hand experience!) a guy decide to
> save time in loading firewood by dropping a 3' dia. madrone tree into
> the back of his pickup I'll believe that people are capable of
> virtually *any* stupidity on earth.
You should have taken a picture.
But UA100 would probably declare it a fake.
Kevin
It reminds me of the Jeff Foxworthy {of, 'You might be a Redneck if . . .'
fame}intro to a bit . . ."They wouldn't tell you not to do this, if someone
hadn't already tried it !!"
Regards,
Ron Magen
Backyard Boatshop
"B a r r y B u r k e J r ." <[email protected]> wrote
in message news:[email protected]...
> On 15 Sep 2003 09:36:16 -0700, [email protected] (John
> Schreiber) wrote:
>
> >Haven't you heard that truth is stranger than fiction. I have no
> >inside knowledge that this is true, but the main proof that it is
> >false is that people have too much common sense to do something like
> >this.
>
>
> The bike shop I work at sells a major brand of rack system. The kind
> that carry everything from bikes, to ladders, to kayaks, to skis.
>
> They show a "Horror Book" to dealers during training to demonstrate
> what some misinformed customers are capable of attempting to carry.
>
> Ever see a _17_ foot bass boat, with the motor, on a roof rack? How
> about a commercial freezer?
>
> Both loads ended up on the interstate pavement.
>
> I have, so I voted "true" for the VW with the lumber. <G>
>
> Barry
Hey, they do their work in the donut shops too.
like the guy caught robbing the Dunkin' Donut shop in Chicago.....(half the
customers wore guns, or something like that)
--
Young Carpenter
"Violin playing and Woodworking are similar, it takes plenty of money,
plenty of practice, and you usually make way more noise than intended"
"Larry Jaques" <jake@di\/ersify.com> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On Sun, 14 Sep 2003 11:16:29 GMT, B a r r y B u r k e J r .
> <[email protected]> pixelated:
>
> >On Sun, 14 Sep 2003 10:24:58 GMT, Unisaw A100 <[email protected]>
> >wrote:
> >
> >>I love the smell of urban legends in the morning.
> >>
> >>UA100
> >
> >
> >I love how someone thinks filing a false police report would be fun.
> >At least it's probably not true. <G>
>
> Hey, it could save a life. Keeping one cop out of the donut
> shop for an hour could make all the difference in the world.
>
>
> ---
> -If thy poster offends thee, *PLONK* it out.-
> http://diversify.com Comprehensive Website Development
-----= Posted via Newsfeeds.Com, Uncensored Usenet News =-----
http://www.newsfeeds.com - The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
-----== Over 100,000 Newsgroups - 19 Different Servers! =-----
Unisaw A100 <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
> >http://www.snopes.com/photos/lumber.asp
> >Check out the rest of the photos.
>
> Insert this line. "Then we started finding new stories
> about the "lumber car," including one from an enterprising
> reporter who tracked the hapless couple down through their
> license plates. He wasn't able to elicit any edifying
> information from them, but his story was accompanied by even
> more photographs, including a close-up of the snoozing woman
> in the passenger's seat:"
>
> Reporter's name?
>
> What did the reporter have to report?
The SNOPES site, which is as respected as anything on line, refered
to:
Allen, Scott. "Wood You Do This?"
Maryland Weekly. 29 December 2000 (p. 3).
National Home Center News. "Penny-Wise, (3,000) Pound Foolish."
11 December 2000 (p. D1). ISSN 0192-6772; Volume 26, Issue 22.
Haven't you heard that truth is stranger than fiction. I have no
inside knowledge that this is true, but the main proof that it is
false is that people have too much common sense to do something like
this.
You know better than that don't you.
Thanks John Schreiber
On 15 Sep 2003 09:36:16 -0700, [email protected] (John
Schreiber) wrote:
>Haven't you heard that truth is stranger than fiction. I have no
>inside knowledge that this is true, but the main proof that it is
>false is that people have too much common sense to do something like
>this.
The bike shop I work at sells a major brand of rack system. The kind
that carry everything from bikes, to ladders, to kayaks, to skis.
They show a "Horror Book" to dealers during training to demonstrate
what some misinformed customers are capable of attempting to carry.
Ever see a _17_ foot bass boat, with the motor, on a roof rack? How
about a commercial freezer?
Both loads ended up on the interstate pavement.
I have, so I voted "true" for the VW with the lumber. <G>
Barry
Unisaw A100 wrote:
> amongst all of those dimes... I could drop the whole
> Nigerian money scam and retire to leisure...
How's that scam working for you? Me, I've been trying for years to become
some rich chick's sex slave. No takers.
--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
Confirmed post number: 17727 Approximate word count: 531810
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
Granny sounds like my kind o' gal!
Nahmie
"Fred McClellan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> I had some long extensions welded on the handles, and that made it a
> lot easire for her to snip off >tire stems<.
>
> No one ever gave her any grief, and the various cops had no choice but
> ticket the offender because the vehicle was still in the handicapped
> slot when they finally showed up.
>
> Couple of hardheads though they'd beat granny up over some $2.00 tire
> stems, but a snootful of Mace changed their minds.
>
> Granny was a mean ol' bitch.
> Cheers,
> Fred McClellan
> the dash plumber at mindspring dot com
Fly-by-Night CC wrote:
> In article <[email protected]>,
> Unisaw A100 <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Smell test conclusion: Hoax
>
> I have a hard time believing all that lumber could be held up in the
> stack at that angle by that string. Sure looks flimsy to me.
Yeah, me too. In spite of the associated text that seems to indicate that
it's not really a hoax, I still don't believe it.
--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
Confirmed post number: 17744 Approximate word count: 532320
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
In article <[email protected]>, "Ron Magen" <[email protected]> wrote:
>It reminds me of the Jeff Foxworthy {of, 'You might be a Redneck if . . .'
>fame}intro to a bit . . ."They wouldn't tell you not to do this, if someone
>hadn't already tried it !!"
>
Q: What are a redneck's last words?
A: "Hey, y'all, watch this!"
--
Regards,
Doug Miller (alphageek-at-milmac-dot-com)
Wow & oops! Last time I post a non-topic on a whim! Upon further review, I
do believe the assumption that this is urban-legend is accurate. It does
make sense.
However, many of you seem to think this (fictitious) guy filed a false
report and that doing so is a felony. The story never says anything about
filing a report. He just made a call saying a guy was trying to steal a
BBQ. That's not filing a report. I called the police one night because a
guy was in my neighbor's yard at midnight snooping around their car.
Suppose he was looking for his lighter or something innocent like that.
Does that make me guilty of a felony?
I emailed the person who sent this to me rib her about all the responses it
has received (I'm blown away by it), and told her about the false report
statements and it being a felony. Well, since she's the office manager for
a law office, she sent me the following:
"Penal Code Section 148.5. (a) Every person who reports to any peace
officer listed in Section 830.1 or 830.2, or subdivision (a) of Section
830.33, district attorney, or deputy district attorney that a felony or
misdemeanor has been committed, knowing the report to be false, is guilty of
a misdemeanor."
Oh well, time to put this little mistake to bed. Sorry for the detraction
from the real purpose of this NG. Won't happen again.
Mike
"Mike Dembroge" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:feR8b.400$%[email protected]...
> A friend of mine (whose dad is a retired CHP officer) sent this to me.
This
> story is from her dad:
>
> 'OK -so I am pulling into the Home Depot parking lot today to get a garage
> door opener with my kayak on my truck and some asshole construction worker
> who was most likely drunk or on speed blows around me in his modified F350
> and almost runs over a woman and her two small kids. The jerk yells at her
> to get the f*@k out of his way as he lights up his tires. (Where's a cop
> when you need one) As I find a parking space and get out of my truck I see
> the same asshole parked in the handicap parking and takes up two spaces.
(NO
> PLACARD)! As I walk by asshole has the nerve to say Hey "Kayaks are for
> fags. Get a life and get a boat"!
> I just smile. I let the jackass go into the store and when he does I ran
> back to my truck and get my club steering wheel lock cause the sucker left
> his window open. Yes - I reached in and clubed his steering wheel. Blamo
> he's not going anywhere! Yup he's screwed! Next I got my cell phone and
> called the police and tell them I see a man trying to steel a BBQ from
Home
> Depot gave details of the man and truck. Shorty after two police cars pull
> up and the man is now at his truck going fu@*ng crazy cause he can't
move...
>
> Guess what - HE GOT A PARKING TICKET FOR PARKING IN HANDICAP PARKING AND
HE
> HAD TO PAY THE TOW TRUCK TO REMOVE MY CLUB! He almost went to jail for
being
> out of control. I'm still laughing out loud! Ooops, I forgot to give him
the
> key to unlock his new club?
> I had to sit back and watch all the excitement with a huge smile...
> PRICELESS!!!"
>
>
>
When you look at the paint stripes, I think you also have to notice the
exhaust in the first picture, and the fact the vehicle is pretty much off
its front wheels.
Ford pickup is the same.
"Mark" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> In article <[email protected]>,
> [email protected] says...
> > >http://www.snopes.com/photos/lumber.asp
> > >Check out the rest of the photos.
> >
> >
> > Picture No 1: Note stripe. Note location of stripe.
> >
> > Picture No. 2: Note stripe. Note location of stripe.
> >
> So they managed to move the car a couple feet in between
> when the two pictures were taken (by different people with
> different cameras). So what? (It actually appears in the
> second picture that the LEO may be trying to direct the
> driver to do something).
>
Fly-by-Night CC wrote:
>I have a hard time believing all that lumber could be held up in the
>stack at that angle by that string. Sure looks flimsy to me.
Thank you Owen. The Mensa people are now reaccepting
applications from rec.wooddorkers.
UA100, who also would like to point out, "so how'd the guy
even get off the lumber yards lot with his tires dug into
the fender wells anyway?"... among the other
debunkafications I could cite..
On Sun, 14 Sep 2003 22:42:39 +0000, Unisaw A100 wrote:
> Charlie Self wrote:
>>Right. Go for a poor chick and take the bottom spot.
>
> No kidding. At least you'd be getting laid and you would be
> 50% there which is way better than a big fat goose egg.
Yabbut, trading up ain't no cake walk. The poor one usually ends up
richer than the rich one after the major combat operations are over.
-Doug
Unisaw A100 wrote:
> Silvan wrote:
>>Me, I've been trying for years to become
>>some rich chick's sex slave. No takers.
>
> That's your trouble. Your looking to start at the top.
So I should become some poor chick's sex slave? If I were going to do that,
I might as well just stay with SWMBO.
--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
Confirmed post number: 17743 Approximate word count: 532290
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
On Mon, 15 Sep 2003 12:24:23 -0400, Alan McClure <[email protected]>
wrote:
>
>
>Unisaw A100 wrote:
>
>>
>> By the way, I'm initialization impaired. What's a LEO? I
>> suspect it has some meaning to cop groupies but I'm not sure
>> what not being a cop groupie and all.
>>
>>
>
>LEO is a TLA for Law Enforcement Officer.
>
>TLA is a three letter acronym for Three Letter Acronym.
>
>Just like abbrev. is the abbreviation of abbreviation.
>
>ARM
Proper etiquette...
Whenever you use an acronym for the first time within a document, its
proper etiquette to first write out the entire phrase...and then put
the acronym in parentheses next to the phase. From that point on,
only the acronym need be written.
For example...
law enforcement officer (LEO)
With any subsequent document (newsgroup post) however, the above
procedure should again be followed.
Following such a procedure makes it easy to create your own acronyms
for long phrases that may be unique...and only pertinent...to your
particular document.
Like Unisaw, I'd never heard of LEO before...nor TLA. So I thank him
for his inquiry...and for your answer.
And, of course...acronyms and abbreviations are different matters.
Hope ya'll have a nice week...
Trent
Proud member of the Roy Rogers fan club!
Mark (just Mark) wrote:
>So they managed to move the car a couple feet in between
>when the two pictures were taken (by different people with
>different cameras).
Move the car? Ummm, Mark, I can call you Mark, can I?,
Tell me something Mark. Do you reeeeeeeeealy believe what
you just said?
>So what? (It actually appears in the second picture that the LEO
>may be trying to direct the driver to do something).
According to the text, the driver was off running up and
down the highway so I'm not sure whazup with this theory.
By the way, I'm initialization impaired. What's a LEO? I
suspect it has some meaning to cop groupies but I'm not sure
what not being a cop groupie and all.
>Not germane to Snopes' story. Snopes is generally regarded
>to be factual.
Oh that's right. It's on the Internet therefore it must
be...
sigh...
>Need yer nose tested, I do believe.
It blows real good. Trouble is so does the lumber car.
UA100
In article <[email protected]>,
Unisaw A100 <[email protected]> wrote:
> who also would like to point out, "so how'd the guy
> even get off the lumber yards lot with his tires dug into
> the fender wells anyway?"... among the other
> debunkafications I could cite..
I also have a hard time believing the woman is asleep with all the
commotion going on. I think she's DEAD. And the sacks of concrete in the
back seat are intended to make up a pair o' galoshes for her. While the
guy was at the Borg picking up the quickcrete, he got distracted and a
bit carried away with a Blue Light Special on ply and sticks.
--
Owen Lowe and his Fly-by-Night Copper Company
Offering a shim for the Porter-Cable 557 type 2 fence design.
<http://www.flybynightcoppercompany.com>
<http://www.easystreet.com/~onlnlowe/index.html>
In article <[email protected]>,
Unisaw A100 <[email protected]> wrote:
> Smell test conclusion: Hoax
I have a hard time believing all that lumber could be held up in the
stack at that angle by that string. Sure looks flimsy to me.
--
Owen Lowe and his Fly-by-Night Copper Company
Offering a shim for the Porter-Cable 557 type 2 fence design.
<http://www.flybynightcoppercompany.com>
<http://www.easystreet.com/~onlnlowe/index.html>
LMAO!
"todd" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> "Mike Dembroge" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> > Wow & oops! Last time I post a non-topic on a whim! Upon further
review,
> I
> > do believe the assumption that this is urban-legend is accurate. It
does
> > make sense.
> >
> > However, many of you seem to think this (fictitious) guy filed a false
> > report and that doing so is a felony. The story never says anything
about
> > filing a report. He just made a call saying a guy was trying to steal a
> > BBQ. That's not filing a report. I called the police one night because
a
> > guy was in my neighbor's yard at midnight snooping around their car.
> > Suppose he was looking for his lighter or something innocent like that.
> > Does that make me guilty of a felony?
> >
> > I emailed the person who sent this to me rib her about all the responses
> it
> > has received (I'm blown away by it), and told her about the false report
> > statements and it being a felony. Well, since she's the office manager
> for
> > a law office, she sent me the following:
> > "Penal Code Section 148.5. (a) Every person who reports to any peace
> > officer listed in Section 830.1 or 830.2, or subdivision (a) of Section
> > 830.33, district attorney, or deputy district attorney that a felony or
> > misdemeanor has been committed, knowing the report to be false, is
guilty
> of
> > a misdemeanor."
> >
> > Oh well, time to put this little mistake to bed. Sorry for the
detraction
> > from the real purpose of this NG. Won't happen again.
> >
> > Mike
>
> <sarchasm>
> Thanks, Mike. Until your post, this newsgroup was 100% on-topic. Way to
> screw up a good thing.
> </sarchasm>
>
> todd
>
>
On Sun, 14 Sep 2003 03:27:07 GMT, "Mike Dembroge"
<[email protected]> wrote:
>A friend of mine (whose dad is a retired CHP officer) sent this to me. This
>story is from her dad:
>
<SNIP>
The only thing I ever knew of that actually worked, after Kalifornia
cops gave up ticketing bozos who parked in handicapped spaces, was the
tool my paternal grandmother had me make.
She was handicapped, badly. Had trouble operating the _diagonal wire
cutters_ she carried in her car.
I had some long extensions welded on the handles, and that made it a
lot easire for her to snip off >tire stems<.
No one ever gave her any grief, and the various cops had no choice but
ticket the offender because the vehicle was still in the handicapped
slot when they finally showed up.
Couple of hardheads though they'd beat granny up over some $2.00 tire
stems, but a snootful of Mace changed their minds.
Granny was a mean ol' bitch.
Cheers,
Fred McClellan
the dash plumber at mindspring dot com
In article <[email protected]>, Silvan <[email protected]> wrote:
>Fly-by-Night CC wrote:
>
>> In article <[email protected]>,
>> Unisaw A100 <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>> Smell test conclusion: Hoax
>>
>> I have a hard time believing all that lumber could be held up in the
>> stack at that angle by that string. Sure looks flimsy to me.
>
>Yeah, me too. In spite of the associated text that seems to indicate that
>it's not really a hoax, I still don't believe it.
>
After having seen the way some people load their trucks at the Borg, I *do*
believe it. I once watched a couple load what had to be over a ton of treated
two-bys into the bed of an S-10 (looked like they were planning a deck). They
loaded the short boards first, then the long ones, so the whole stack was
tilted down toward the back of the truck. And of course the whole truck was
tilting that way too, from the weight. They left with the woman driving, and
the man sticking his arm out through the window in the back of the cab to hold
the load down.
--
Regards,
Doug Miller (alphageek-at-milmac-dot-com)
Silvan wrote:
>So I should become some poor chick's sex slave? If I were going to do that,
>I might as well just stay with SWMBO.
A'yup. There's an up side to this also. You get to keep
both halves of the house, the cars, the tools...
UA100, who occasionally introduces his wife as, "this is my
first wife"...
On Tue, 16 Sep 2003 23:42:49 GMT, Kevin Craig <[email protected]>
wrote:
>In article <[email protected]>, Tim Douglass
><[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> On 15 Sep 2003 09:36:16 -0700, [email protected] (John
>> Schreiber) wrote:
>>
>> >Haven't you heard that truth is stranger than fiction. I have no
>> >inside knowledge that this is true, but the main proof that it is
>> >false is that people have too much common sense to do something like
>> >this.
>>
>> Considering that I once saw (first hand experience!) a guy decide to
>> save time in loading firewood by dropping a 3' dia. madrone tree into
>> the back of his pickup I'll believe that people are capable of
>> virtually *any* stupidity on earth.
>
>You should have taken a picture.
>
>But UA100 would probably declare it a fake.
Heh. I'm also not sure I'd have survived bringing out a camera!
Tim Douglass
http://www.DouglassClan.com
On 15 Sep 2003 09:36:16 -0700, [email protected] (John
Schreiber) wrote:
>Haven't you heard that truth is stranger than fiction. I have no
>inside knowledge that this is true, but the main proof that it is
>false is that people have too much common sense to do something like
>this.
Considering that I once saw (first hand experience!) a guy decide to
save time in loading firewood by dropping a 3' dia. madrone tree into
the back of his pickup I'll believe that people are capable of
virtually *any* stupidity on earth.
Tim Douglass
http://www.DouglassClan.com
"Mike Dembroge" <[email protected]> wrote:
>Next I got my cell phone and
>called the police and tell them I see a man trying to steel a BBQ from Home
>Depot gave details of the man and truck. Shorty after two police cars pull
>up and the man is now at his truck going fu@*ng crazy cause he can't move...
You were doing fine up to there, assuming the story is true. 911 call
centers get the phone number of the caller...... Filing a false
police report is a felony in most states.
Wes
--
Reply to:
Whiskey Echo Sierra Sierra AT Gee Tee EYE EYE dot COM
Lycos address is a spam trap.