This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
Now, I am not religious, I consider myself spiritual now, rather
than Christian, altho originally raised Christian. Still believe in God
too, just probably a bit different perspective than most people. High
Priest for the Woodworking Gods.
That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer? If he
was raised in the U.S., I figure he's probably gonna put "Jesus Christ"
in there somewhere. Far as that goes, what would an Amish woodworker
say? I don't care how religious you are, there aren't too many peope
who aren't going to say something.
Now me, I know for a fact that sooner or later the words Jesus
Christ would probably fit in there somewhere. Probably proceeded by
sonovabitch, and several other choice words.
And, I'm convinced there is no athiest or agnotic in existance
that's just going to say "Oh my, I have gone and hit my thumb". They'll
be instant converts to religion, and calling on God and Jesus.
The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss
On Mon, 06 Dec 2004 09:49:16 -0500, sandman <[email protected]>
wrote:
>But why twenty-nine?
Prime number. Primes are always funnier.
"J T" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> >
> That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
> whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer? If he
> was raised in the U.S., I figure he's probably gonna put "Jesus Christ"
> in there somewhere. Far as that goes, what would an Amish woodworker
> say? I don't care how religious you are, there aren't too many peope
> who aren't going to say something.
>
>
Better yet, shove a 2 inch long x 3/16 inch sliver into to palm of your
hand. Done in such a way that it is pretty much parrallel to the skin. It
went into the pad of skin at the base of one finger, out of the skin, back
in to the pad of my finger, then out again! First feeling was the pain, then
the realization that it had to come out again! I sat down and looked the
situation over for a minute, considered cutting it out, but decided that
would cause more damage. I took out my Leatherman, grabbed the sliver, and
pulled it through the rest of the way in one quick jerk!
Of course there was much swearing after the sliver went in, and many times
more after pulling it out! nothing better than good pure pain!
Greg
"J T" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
(SNIP)
> And, I'm convinced there is no athiest or agnotic in existance
> that's just going to say "Oh my, I have gone and hit my thumb". They'll
> be instant converts to religion, and calling on God and Jesus.
>
> The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
I have been atheist since I was 18 and I usually say "Arghhh ...for fuck's
sake!!"
Then I try an instant tourniquet with my other hand, all the while knowing
that it will hurt more when I let it go and knowing that I HAVE to let it go
sometime. Much anguish a few more expletives and then more pain.
Mekon
Morris Dovey <[email protected]> wrote:
> J T wrote:
>
> > The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
>
> ["Curiouser and curiouser..."]
>
> Of the the principals of the belief systems you listed, I think
> only Jesus was a woodworker. Do you suppose he ever hit his thumb
> with a hammer? And if so, what would he have said?
A Jewish curse in Greek.
--
mare
On Fri, 3 Dec 2004 14:01:45 -0500, [email protected] (J T)
wrote:
> This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
>about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
The Village Blacksmith
Under a spreading chestnut-tree
The village smithy stands;
The smith, a mighty man is he,
With large and sinewy hands;
And the muscles of his brawny arms
Are strong as iron bands.
His hair is crisp, and black, and long,
His face is like the tan;
His brow is wet with honest sweat,
He earns whate'er he can,
And looks the whole world in the face,
For he owes not any man.
Week in, week out, from morn till night,
You can hear his bellows blow;
You can hear him swing his heavy sledge,
With measured beat and slow,
Like a sexton ringing the village bell,
When the evening sun is low.
And children coming home from school
Look in at the open door;
They love to see the flaming forge,
And hear the bellows roar,
And catch the burning sparks that fly
Like chaff from a threshing-floor.
He goes on Sunday to the church,
And sits among his boys;
He hears the parson pray and preach,
He hears his daughter's voice,
Singing in the village choir,
And it makes his heart rejoice.
It sounds to him like her mother's voice,
Singing in Paradise!
He needs must think of her once more,
How in the grave she lies;
And with his hard, rough hand he wipes
A tear out of his eyes.
Toiling,---rejoicing,---sorrowing,
Onward through life he goes;
Each morning sees some task begin,
Each evening sees it close;
Something attempted, something done,
Has earned a night's repose.
Thanks, thanks to thee, my worthy friend,
For the lesson thou hast taught!
Thus at the flaming forge of life
Our fortunes must be wrought;
Thus on its sounding anvil shaped
Each burning deed and thought.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882)
Regards,
Tom.
"People funny. Life a funny thing." Sonny Liston
Thomas J.Watson - Cabinetmaker (ret.)
tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email)
http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1
On Fri, 3 Dec 2004 14:01:45 -0500, J T <[email protected]> wrote:
> This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
> about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
>
> And, I'm convinced there is no athiest or agnotic in existance
> that's just going to say "Oh my, I have gone and hit my thumb". They'll
> be instant converts to religion, and calling on God and Jesus.
When I shot a 3" long framing nail into my left index finger (lengthwise)
while building my house, it was "ouch. Son of a bitch. (pause) (look)
Son of a BITCH!".
The X-ray is impressive.
On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 21:10:55 GMT, Mekon <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> "Dave Hinz" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> (snip )
>>
>> The X-ray is impressive.
>
> Post pics in ABPW!!
Gotta find the film & scan it. I'll put it on a webpage and put
a pointer here when I do.
Dave
Phisherman wrote:
> around women or children, but it's my personal rule that I'm not in
> the shop if I've been drinking.
Amen.
--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/
Prometheus wrote:
> OTOH, if I'm hurt badly enough to go to the hospital, usually I just
> turn real quiet, get pale, and politely ask someone to give me a lift.
> Odd how the little stuff that doesn't matter much seems to piss a guy
> off so much more than the stuff that is actually a big deal!
Yeah, that is funny, now that you mention it. A whack with a hammer or
something leads to all kinds of expletives. Screwing up a piece by making
two left sides or glueing the leg bone before the thigh bone and having to
knock it apart usually brings up a chorus of my favorite "shit damn fuck
snot, twenty-nine assholes tied in a knot."
Yet the times when I get *really* hurt, and I'm losing blood at a pretty
significant rate, I just kind of quietly make my way to the bathroom to
take care of it without saying anything in particular.
I feel embarrassed when that happens, I think. Whacking yourself with a
hammer is something you can laugh about, but I think anytime the bandaid is
not optional, it's shame time for me. I feel really stupid when I *have*
to go doctor myself up, instead of just laughing about a little bloodwood
as I dribble from some piffling cut.
--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/
On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 23:04:21 +0000, Andy Dingley <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> If you want to invoke deities, I'd suggest Norse pagan ones. They have
> a good range, they seem particularly appropriate for the job, and a
> few were even killed by hammer blows.
I have a hammer named Mjolnir. Hit my thumb with it, I was Thor for a week.
It was stiff and rather Wodin for a while after that, but eventually
I was Freja of the pain.
Dave "I am _so_ sorry." Hinz
On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 03:41:55 -0500, Silvan <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> Yet the times when I get *really* hurt, and I'm losing blood at a pretty
> significant rate, I just kind of quietly make my way to the bathroom to
> take care of it without saying anything in particular.
We have a saying in EMS (emergency medicine), "Sick patients don't bitch".
Meaning, if they're well enough to be hollering, they're gonna be just
fine. Usually. There's another saying that if the patient says they're
gonna die, they're usually right, but there isn't one to address when
these two seemingly contradict.
Dave "No point, sorry, move along" Hinz
On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 02:52:14 GMT, Allyn Vaughn <[email protected]> wrote:
> On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 19:18:00 -0600, Morris Dovey <[email protected]>
> wrote:
>
>>Of the the principals of the belief systems you listed, I think
>>only Jesus was a woodworker. Do you suppose he ever hit his thumb
>>with a hammer? And if so, what would he have said?
>
> Why I believe he would have said "Joseph Christ!"
Actually, to be a pedant about it, Christ is a title rather than a
family name.
Sat, Dec 4, 2004, 1:49pm (EST+5) [email protected] (Dave=A0Hinz)
says:
Actually, to be a pedant about it, Christ is a title rather than a
family name.
We might as well take it the rest of the way. Apparently there's
been discussion that another mistranslation in the Bible has popped up,
and instead of a carpenter, Joseph was actually an architect.
JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss
>We might as well take it the rest of the way. Apparently there's
been discussion that another mistranslation in the Bible has popped up,
and instead of a carpenter, Joseph was actually an architect.
My grandfather was a builder back in the 40's and early 50's. I sell
wholesale lumber today to "builders" who are nothing more than contractors
and glorified bankers. My grandfather actually designed and built the
various structures from the foundation up. I suspect that 2000 years ago, a
man making his living with his hands probably was also the architect of the
same projects.
Sun, Dec 5, 2004, 2:15pm (EST+5) [email protected] (mel) says:
<snip> I suspect that 2000 years ago, a man making his living with his
hands probably was also the architect of the same projects.
They figure that if Joseph was actually an architect, instead of a
carpenter, he is probably the architect who designed, laid out a town
near Jereuselum (sp ?), and then oversaw the actual construction of the
entire town. Supposedly assisted by his son (stepson?) Jesus. No hands
on involved, or so it is thought. Don't know if they'll ever be able to
prove that par or not. Interesting to know, if they could. So,
possibly, instead of a rather broke carpenter, Joseph may well have been
a well-to-do architect.
JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss
On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 04:52:25 GMT, mark <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> When I shot a 3" long framing nail into my left index finger (lengthwise)
>> while building my house
>
> How?? I just got a framing nailer, and would like to avoid this.
I was building a half-wall, and things were a bit wobbly. So, I was
holding one of the studs in place with my left hand, while nailing
with my right hand. The nailer bounced against the top plate of the
half-wall, and double-fired. The second nail out of the nailgun
hit the head of the first one (which was properly embedded in wood), and
as it couldn't go down, it went sideways-ish. Recall that my other
hand is below and somewhat forward of the intended nail location.
Nail broke out the side of the wood, flew through the air down six inches, and
lengthwise into the tip of my left index finger. Missed the bones, missed the
nerve and tendon bundles, and came right out with a pair of pliers at the
hospital after being carefully checked for the above.
It was not pleasant. Worst part was, because I wasn't sure if I could
drive, and my now-wife, then-girlfriend was looking a bit pale about the
whole thing, is that I had to call 911 for transport, and of course the
ambulance that responded is the one that I'm an EMT with. Still haven't
lived that one down.
Dave "Hey look, I've got 11 fingernails!" Hinz
On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 19:13:40 GMT, jo4hn <[email protected]> wrote:
> My mother (a good lady of Norwegian extraction) says she always swears
> in Swedish. The good Lord certainly speaks Norwegian but as certainly
> does not speak Swedish.
But...the swear words are nearly the same, unless she knew some that
I have not yet learned.
On Mon, 06 Dec 2004 16:40:40 GMT, jo4hn <[email protected]> wrote:
> Dave Hinz wrote:
>
>> But...the swear words are nearly the same, unless she knew some that
>> I have not yet learned.
>>
> Relayed your comment to mom and her comment was something like: "He's
> probably just another heathen Swede". :-)
I. Beg. Your. Pardon. Harrumpf. I've got my ancestry traced back
rather a long way, and we're _well_ on the right side of the border,
thankyouverymuch. Visited an ancestral farm this summer, it's been in the
family for rather a long time:
http://www.dokpro.uio.no/perl/middelalder/diplom_vise_tekst.prl?b=2592&s=240
We've been invited to the 650th year reunion coming up in 2008. The
man living there now is my 17th cousin, but he could pass for my mom's
brother; it's spooky how similar they look.
So...what are these uniquely Norwegian swear words, exactly? Anything
less mild than, ahem, "Pig's butt"?
Dave Hinz
On Mon, 06 Dec 2004 15:43:47 -0600, Morris Dovey <[email protected]> wrote:
> Dave Hinz wrote:
>
>> rather a long way, and we're _well_ on the right side of the
>> border, thankyouverymuch. Visited an ancestral farm this
>> summer, it's been in the family for rather a long time:
>
>> <http://www.dokpro.uio.no/perl/middelalder/diplom_vise_tekst.prl?b=2592&s=240>
>
> Hey! No fair! What language is that?
Middle Norse, mixed with more than a little Latin. The "summary" at the
top is in Danish.
> The machine translation (I
> assumed norwegian) is about as bad as the original:
> "Previous letter in trykkrekkefølgeb.3( nr.293) Next letter in
> trykkrekkefølge (b.3 nr.295) b.III s.240 abbreviate Three Mænd
> kundgjöre , that Harald paa Grove and his Housewife Ingeborg sold
> at Gudbrand Thordssön Öresbol in Tokestad paa Prepare Ringsaker
(snip)
> [Roughly speaking]
Less roughly, "3 men of the King's Magistrate witness that Haral of Lunde,
and his wife Ingeborg, sold to Gudbrand Thordsson (my ancestor) 3 units
of land, called Tokstad, in Forberg (in Ringsaker).
The text of the brief is in middle norse, the summary was written in
the 1700s or 1800s. It names the 3 magistrates (Paul of Graefsaeimi,
Godin of Baldissole, and Aerik Baghghe), as agents of King Hakonar.
I have a real translation done by an Icelandic friend, but that's
the gist. Later, Gudbrand bought the rest of Tokstad from this couple,
and the bill of sale says that they (Harald and Ingeborg) are free to live
at Tokstad, in the smaller house, until they die, as long as there
is "peace between the families" or words to that effect. It was
really cool to see the main house and the smaller house, and based on the
architecture of at least the main house, it's the one from that time.
There are timbers in the basement of the main house, that someone
from the local university dated to around the year 1000. Not sure what
kind of wood they were, though, there was no discernable grain or figure
and they were very dark.
Dave Hinz
On Tue, 07 Dec 2004 03:40:14 GMT, jo4hn <[email protected]> wrote:
> Boy, you guys don't know nothin'. That is a telling of the story of the
> last of the flying lutefisk which was shot down by Olaf Trygvesson in
> the year 1043.
Why is Olaf's name sounding _very_ familiar to me right now? Can't place
him.
> Note that he is the father of every person in the
> western world because 1) he personally fathered 43 sons and one daughter
> and, 2) if you figure the number of your forebears at 4 generations per
> 100 years, the number in 1043 is 11,468,213 which was the approximate
> population of the western world at the time.
Well, that ignores a few things. In centuries past, the liklihood
that you'd meet, let alone marry, someone from more than 50 miles from
your home was very low. So, inbreeding at some level would occur, and
the number of ancestors is obviously going to be less than the population
of the world. Clearly, the chance of Gudbrand here having an ancestor in,
say, Japan, is prety low. Likewise Polynesia, and so on. I've got
one such situation where, 15 or so generations ago, I have a couple who
are married and are third cousins, one generation removed. Maybe they
didn't know, maybe they did and it was (rightfully) decided to be far
enough apart. I'm guessing they knew, because culturally the Norse
people put more than a little emphasis on genealogy. The record
keeping is very precise, and being able to find records online from,
say, 1358, is impressive.
Dave Hinz
Tue, Dec 7, 2004, 9:50pm (EST+5) [email protected] (Dave=A0Hinz)
says:
<snip> being able to find records online from, say, 1358, is impressive.
Highly. My mother is researching our family. We do know we had
people (father's side) on both sides of the Civil War, including one in
Andersonvlle, and one in the prison in New York. Very hard to find
records anywhere, as people will have different spellings, different
dates, and even different birth locations listed.
Example: Birth certificate has date, location of birth (town,
county), and name Marriage certificate (and it is know it's the same
person), different spelling. Death certificate, often has different
spelling, different date of birth, and it is still the same person.
Then finding where they are actually buried is a different task
altogether.
She has reliably been able to get back to about 1900, after that
records are very hazy. We do know my dad's relatives came from Ireland.
Many of them probably came thru NC, to TN and KY. Seems some others
came thru NY, down to VA, NC, etc. On my mother's side, they seem to
have been Dutch and English. She has a very interesting diary of one in
the Civil War, out west. Neat read.
JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss
Well, we seem to have wandered. Which is pretty well normal for
some of you. While well and good, it still doesn't answer the basic
questions.
What does - appropriate religion or ethnic group inserted here -
say when he injures a thumb with a mighty blow of a hammer, or otherwise
injures parts of the body.
Would a German say, "Sheis, sheis, sheis, Gott in Himmel"? Would
an Italian (in Italy, not the US) say, "Mama Mia"? Does a Buddhist say
something like, "Buddha on a crutch"? Does a Moslem say, "Allah Damn"?
Does an athiest say, "Ow, the laws of chance caught up with me big
time"?
JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss
"J T" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>
> What does - appropriate religion or ethnic group inserted here -
> say when he injures a thumb with a mighty blow of a hammer, or otherwise
> injures parts of the body.
>
> Would a German say, "Sheis, sheis, sheis, Gott in Himmel"? Would
> an Italian (in Italy, not the US) say, "Mama Mia"? Does a Buddhist say
> something like, "Buddha on a crutch"? Does a Moslem say, "Allah Damn"?
> Does an athiest say, "Ow, the laws of chance caught up with me big
> time"?
How about Quebec French? Lived in Montreal for 12 years when I was a kid.
Only French I remember is how to swear.
On Tue, 07 Dec 2004 22:07:03 -0600, Morris Dovey <[email protected]> wrote:
> Dave Hinz wrote:
>
>> Middle Norse, mixed with more than a little Latin. The
>> "summary" at the top is in Danish.
>
> Thanks. As a non-Latin, non-Norse speaker, non-Danish speaking
> person I was baffled by the combination.
Get in line. That doc and the 2 other pieces of documentation I have
for Gudbrand (later land sale, and a 1397 probate record divvying up
the property between his sons) are equally interesting but tantalyzingly
cryptic until translated.
>> Less roughly, "3 men of the King's Magistrate witness that
>> Haral of Lunde, and his wife Ingeborg, sold to Gudbrand
>> Thordsson (my ancestor) 3 units of land, called Tokstad, in
>> Forberg (in Ringsaker).
>
> Hmm. All things (including my erroneous choice of "from"
> language) considered, the software translator didn't do as badly
> as I'd have expected.
That was probably in the Danish summary, which is close enough to
modern Danish that an e-translator wouldn't suck much worse than
normal on it.
> I'm dazzled that the records are so conveniently available.
Yes. The churchbooks for Norway are, unfortunately, rarely if
ever available before the 1730s. However, the legal records
of land sales and probate are. The governmental agencies also
recorded people moving into and out of areas, so those records
can show where/when/who was moving around.
Sometimes the only record of a person you can find, is the church's
bookkeeping where the survivors paid to have the churchbell rung at
their funeral.
> It's cool even to me - and I don't have any [known] connection.
> Is this recordkeeping typical? Do researchers/historians have
> access to such data for all/most families or holdings?
The "Diplomatarium Norvegicum" from which this comes, is a collection
of 21,000 such documents from the middle-ages, roughly 1200 to 1600 AD.
Basically, any old doc of this type that they could find has been
translated and transcribed, and put online.
Norway also has the 1664-1666 census online, which unfortunately only
lists the male landowners and their male sons. The 1801, 1865, 1880,
and 1900 census are all online, searchable by name, location, age,
place of birth, etc etc etc. Makes researching there much easier than,
say, anywhere else.
>> There are timbers in the basement of the main house, that
>> someone from the local university dated to around the year
>> 1000. Not sure what kind of wood they were, though, there was
>> no discernable grain or figure and they were very dark.
> Next time you visit, bring back pictures!
I've got gigabytes of 'em. How's your net connection? I'll send you
the URL as soon as things are back put together, webserver-wise.
Dave
[email protected] (J T) wrote:
> This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
> about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
>
> Now, I am not religious, I consider myself spiritual now, rather
> than Christian, altho originally raised Christian. Still believe in
> God too, just probably a bit different perspective than most people.
> High Priest for the Woodworking Gods.
>
> That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist,
> or
> whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer? If he
> was raised in the U.S., I figure he's probably gonna put "Jesus
> Christ" in there somewhere. Far as that goes, what would an Amish
> woodworker say? I don't care how religious you are, there aren't too
> many peope who aren't going to say something.
>
> Now me, I know for a fact that sooner or later the words Jesus
> Christ would probably fit in there somewhere. Probably proceeded by
> sonovabitch, and several other choice words.
>
> And, I'm convinced there is no athiest or agnotic in existance
> that's just going to say "Oh my, I have gone and hit my thumb".
> They'll be instant converts to religion, and calling on God and Jesus.
>
> The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
I usually utter an 'AAAHHH SHIT!!!', firmly grasp the injured digit,
then dance in place to placate the Hammer God.
>
>
>
> JOAT
> Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
> matter, and those who matter dont mind.
> - Dr Seuss
>
>
J T wrote:
>
> That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
> whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer? If he
> was raised in the U.S., I figure he's probably gonna put "Jesus Christ"
> in there somewhere.
Well, my German friend says "Shit" in those circumstances. "Sheise" just
doesn't do it. I think it's the hard consonants. Consider the
following candidates: Sex!, Copulate!, Coitus!, Fuck! See, it's those
hard consonants. Fuck! is much more satisfying.
Nonetheless, the word doesn't matter _that_ much. My father-in-law, a
very devout Roman Catholic, makes up his own swear words. For some
reason they involve the Demgee brothers. Take any word, say it the
right way, and it becomes an expletive. That's why banning naughty words
doesn't do a damn thing.
-Peter
Aramaic, I should assume.
I used to wonder about my dad's outbursts in Ukrainian when I was young,
until I saw grandma's face when he used one without knowing she was
there....
"mare" <mare*Remove*All*0f*This*I*Hate*Spammers*@mac.invalid.com> wrote in
message
news:1go9jdh.1l53l2ie4k2gwN%mare*Remove*All*0f*This*I*Hate*Spammers*@mac.invalid.com...
> Morris Dovey <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > J T wrote:
> >
> > > The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
> >
> > ["Curiouser and curiouser..."]
> >
> > Of the the principals of the belief systems you listed, I think
> > only Jesus was a woodworker. Do you suppose he ever hit his thumb
> > with a hammer? And if so, what would he have said?
>
> A Jewish curse in Greek.
>
> --
> mare
"Dave Hinz" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 04:52:25 GMT, mark <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>> When I shot a 3" long framing nail into my left index finger
>>> (lengthwise)
>>> while building my house
>>
>> How?? I just got a framing nailer, and would like to avoid this.
>
> I was building a half-wall, and things were a bit wobbly. So, I was
> holding one of the studs in place with my left hand, while nailing
> with my right hand. The nailer bounced against the top plate of the
> half-wall, and double-fired. The second nail out of the nailgun
> hit the head of the first one (which was properly embedded in wood), and
> as it couldn't go down, it went sideways-ish. Recall that my other
> hand is below and somewhat forward of the intended nail location.
>
> Nail broke out the side of the wood, flew through the air down six inches,
> and
> lengthwise into the tip of my left index finger. Missed the bones, missed
> the
> nerve and tendon bundles, and came right out with a pair of pliers at the
> hospital after being carefully checked for the above.
>
> It was not pleasant. Worst part was, because I wasn't sure if I could
> drive, and my now-wife, then-girlfriend was looking a bit pale about the
> whole thing, is that I had to call 911 for transport, and of course the
> ambulance that responded is the one that I'm an EMT with. Still haven't
> lived that one down.
>
> Dave "Hey look, I've got 11 fingernails!" Hinz
>
Double ouch. Working in a station 25 years, I know how teasing goes (and
comes). But, if you can't stand the heat..... LOL
--
FMB
(only one B in FMB)
On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 19:18:00 -0600, Morris Dovey <[email protected]>
wrote:
>J T wrote:
>
>> The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
>
>["Curiouser and curiouser..."]
>
>Of the the principals of the belief systems you listed, I think
>only Jesus was a woodworker. Do you suppose he ever hit his thumb
>with a hammer? And if so, what would he have said?
Me! Me! Me!
Tim Douglass
http://www.DouglassClan.com
In article <[email protected]>,
J T <[email protected]> wrote:
>
[[.. munch ..]]
> That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
>whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer? If he
>was raised in the U.S., I figure he's probably gonna put "Jesus Christ"
>in there somewhere. Far as that goes, what would an Amish woodworker
>say? I don't care how religious you are, there aren't too many peope
>who aren't going to say something.
>
[[.. munch ..]]
>
> The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
OK, so you need some education _about_ the fine art of swearing. <grin>
'Expletives' break down in to several basic categories.
"Profanities" Taking the name of _thy_ god(s), and associated figures, in
vain, etc.
"Obscenities" e.g. 'the seven words you can't say on TV'
"Vulgarities" "neither of the above".
"Euphemisms" "heck", "Gosh darn it", "drat", 'dag nab it', etc.
A truly devout person will scrupulously avoid profanities. Although they
may *frequently* use language in the other two classes.
Note: something like 'Hell and D*mnation!' is _not_ profanity. Merely a
vulgarity. "G*d d*mn it", on the other hand _is_ profanity.
It _is_ rather surprising how much 'hurt' you can ventilate using nothing
more than vulgarities. *Particularly* if you _don't_ use them much in
every-day conversation.
Euphemisms are totally unsuited for expressing any _intense_ emotion. Their
purpose for existence is to provide a 'toned down' (and thus more 'socially
acceptable') version of the form they substitute for.
The 'force' of _any_ expletive is a function of the class (from profanity
down to euphemism), *and* the 'rarity of use'. The less often you use _any_
expletive, the more release you will get when you _do_ use it.
Swearing/cursing _is_ an art-form. *almost* a 'lost art' these days -- as
far as _quality_ goes. An analysis I read, back in the early 70's, discussed
various life-styles and the skill-set in this regard. One that stuck in
my memory:
"Marines, especially sargents, practice it extensively. Unfortunately,
using a very limited vocabulary, mostly concerned with bodily functions."
Fri, Dec 3, 2004, 11:40pm (EST+5) [email protected]
(Robert=A0Bonomi) who obviously has me confused with someone else, is so
misinformed that he says:
OK, so you need some education _about_ the fine art of swearing. <snip>
If I'm going good, I use words from all of your examples. On a good
day, I can go about 3 minutes without repeating myself. On an
exceptional day, well over 5 minutes.
By the way, some euphanisms "can" be used, but usually are
effective only if interspersed.
I seldom do any swearing nowadays, unless I hit my thumb with a
hammer, get very frustrated, or talk to myself puzzling out a problem.
Then you say:
An analysis I read, back in the early 70's, discussed various
life-styles and the skill-set in this regard. One that stuck in my
memory:
=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0"Marines, especially sargents, practice it
extensively. Unfortunately, =A0 using a very limited vocabulary, mostly
concerned with bodily functions."
I fine-tuned my ability with 20+ years in the Army, serving at
different times with all the other 4 services (I included the Coast
Guard), and British, German, French, Italian, and Turkish, military
services. Maybe that explains the difference in quality. At one time I
was adequate in sveral languages, besides American English. Sadly,
anymore, I'm only able to proceed adequately in English English and
German, marginal in Spanish and French, and down to about one nasty word
each in Polish, Italian, and Latin. I've misplaced everything in
Chinese, Japanese, Thai, and Korean. Ah well, don't really need them
anymore anyway I guess, but it still would be nice to have them
available, just in case.
JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss
J T wrote:
> I seldom do any swearing nowadays, unless I hit my thumb with a
> hammer, get very frustrated, or talk to myself puzzling out a problem.
A good alternative to bad language. I screwed up boring the hole through a
plane tote I had spent umpty hours carefully shaping to perfection by hand.
Rather than swear, I just got out the can of gas and sacrificed it (the
plane tote, not the can of gas) to the woodworking gods. Burn baby burn.
It was somehow satisfying.
--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/
Sun, Dec 5, 2004, 5:49pm [email protected] (Silvan)
claims:
<snip> sacrificed it (the plane tote, not the can of gas) to the
woodworking gods. <snip>
You might have made a sacrifice to the Godlet of Arson, but not the
Woodworking Gods. They don't like that type of stuff. For them you
send a donation, in care of me, the High Priest of the Woodworking Gods.
How many times do I have to tell you people? You don't do
sacrifices to the Woodworking Gods at home. Sheesh.
I wondered who they were bitching about the other day, now I know.
By the way, now you know why you're having so much trouble sharpening
your lathe tools. LMAO
JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss
On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 19:18:00 -0600, Morris Dovey <[email protected]>
wrote:
>J T wrote:
>
>> The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
>
>["Curiouser and curiouser..."]
>
>Of the the principals of the belief systems you listed, I think
>only Jesus was a woodworker. Do you suppose he ever hit his thumb
>with a hammer? And if so, what would he have said?
Why I believe he would have said "Joseph Christ!"
Allyn
"J T" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> High
> Priest for the Woodworking Gods.
>
When I injure myself, I say one of two things:
If it was a power tool, I say "Norm damn it!"
If is a neander tool, I say "Roy damn it!"
Frank
mare wrote:
> Morris Dovey <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>>J T wrote:
>>
>>
>>>The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
>>
>>["Curiouser and curiouser..."]
>>
>>Of the the principals of the belief systems you listed, I think
>>only Jesus was a woodworker. Do you suppose he ever hit his thumb
>>with a hammer? And if so, what would he have said?
>
>
> A Jewish curse in Greek.
>
My mother (a good lady of Norwegian extraction) says she always swears
in Swedish. The good Lord certainly speaks Norwegian but as certainly
does not speak Swedish.
a drip of inherited wisdom from jo4hn's john,
jo4hn
Andy Dingley wrote:
> On Fri, 3 Dec 2004 14:01:45 -0500, [email protected] (J T)
> wrote:
>
>
>> That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
>>whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer?
>
>
> This one uses the names of government cabinet ministers. Offends
> no-one (that matters) and it's the only way I can remember most of the
> faceless drones.
>
BUNKETT (yes mis-spelled)
J T wrote:
> The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
["Curiouser and curiouser..."]
Of the the principals of the belief systems you listed, I think
only Jesus was a woodworker. Do you suppose he ever hit his thumb
with a hammer? And if so, what would he have said?
--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto/solar.html
Dave Hinz wrote:
> On Tue, 07 Dec 2004 03:40:14 GMT, jo4hn <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>>Boy, you guys don't know nothin'. That is a telling of the story of the
>>last of the flying lutefisk which was shot down by Olaf Trygvesson in
>>the year 1043.
>
>
> Why is Olaf's name sounding _very_ familiar to me right now? Can't place
> him.
>
[snip]
A king of Norway, see
http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/Olaf%20Trygvesson for a quickie.
mahalo,
jo4hn
jo4hn wrote:
> J T wrote:
>
>> This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
>> about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
>
> [snip]>
>
> "Oh dear, I sincerely wish that I had not done that. Oh my, that is
> very painful. I must learn something from that."
>
> mahalo,
> jo4hn
Or something akin to "fuck me. damn. damn. damn. Dumbshit." Whilst the
dancing goes on.
j4
All I could think of was that little martian guy from the lonney toons
cartoons saying that now I have to clean the monitor again LOL
Chris Melanson
BLH Millwork
"jo4hn" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>J T wrote:
>
>> This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
>> about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
> [snip]>
>
> "Oh dear, I sincerely wish that I had not done that. Oh my, that is very
> painful. I must learn something from that."
>
> mahalo,
> jo4hn
"John DeBoo" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> This is like athiests who are about to get their rocks off. Who do they
> call to at 'that moment'?
>
I make it a rule never to call ot *any* names. Just in case I get the wrong
one!
Mekon
Sun, Dec 5, 2004, 12:29am (EST+5) [email protected] (Mekon) says:
I make it a rule never to call ot *any* names. Just in case I get the
wrong one!
I, on the other hand, believe in equal opportunity. I try to cover
all I can think of at the time.
JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss
"J T" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
> about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
>
> Now, I am not religious, I consider myself spiritual now, rather
> than Christian, altho originally raised Christian. Still believe in God
> too, just probably a bit different perspective than most people. High
> Priest for the Woodworking Gods.
>
> That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
> whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer? If he
> was raised in the U.S., I figure he's probably gonna put "Jesus Christ"
> in there somewhere. Far as that goes, what would an Amish woodworker
> say? I don't care how religious you are, there aren't too many peope
> who aren't going to say something.
>
> Now me, I know for a fact that sooner or later the words Jesus
> Christ would probably fit in there somewhere. Probably proceeded by
> sonovabitch, and several other choice words.
>
> And, I'm convinced there is no athiest or agnotic in existance
> that's just going to say "Oh my, I have gone and hit my thumb". They'll
> be instant converts to religion, and calling on God and Jesus.
>
> The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
>
>
>
> JOAT
> Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
> matter, and those who matter dont mind.
> - Dr Seuss
>
For me (now that I got my monitor and keyboard cleaned up again), it depends
on who is in the shop with me. If my wife is out there supervising, I try
to be a little more respectful of her. I usually just grit my teeth and
it's an "mmm mmm MMMMM mmmmm" etc. She usually gets the message and leaves
before my head explodes from my not being able to properly release. If I'm
there by myself, well hell there's no point in making a scene because no one
is there to appreciate it. Then I usually use the opportunity to study a
little human anatomy and/or increase my supply of locally produced
Bloodwood.
Wayne
"Joe C." <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> That's one xray I'd love to see. Your story reminds me of the guy who
> took
> an 18" auger bit straight thru the skull. For those who haven't seen
> it....
>
> http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/news/090203_nw_drill_survivor.html
>
> Wonder what _he_ said?
>
> Joe C.
>
>
Had to have been "Holy shit!!"
Wayne
This is like athiests who are about to get their rocks off. Who do they
call to at 'that moment'?
J T wrote:
> This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
> about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
>
> Now, I am not religious, I consider myself spiritual now, rather
> than Christian, altho originally raised Christian. Still believe in God
> too, just probably a bit different perspective than most people. High
> Priest for the Woodworking Gods.
>
> That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
> whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer? If he
> was raised in the U.S., I figure he's probably gonna put "Jesus Christ"
> in there somewhere. Far as that goes, what would an Amish woodworker
> say? I don't care how religious you are, there aren't too many peope
> who aren't going to say something.
>
> Now me, I know for a fact that sooner or later the words Jesus
> Christ would probably fit in there somewhere. Probably proceeded by
> sonovabitch, and several other choice words.
>
> And, I'm convinced there is no athiest or agnotic in existance
> that's just going to say "Oh my, I have gone and hit my thumb". They'll
> be instant converts to religion, and calling on God and Jesus.
>
> The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
>
>
>
> JOAT
> Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
> matter, and those who matter dont mind.
> - Dr Seuss
>
I used to work with a Hindian who was a Jain (a Hindu sect).
His universal expletive was "SHIT!!" said with a short barking
sound.
Art
"J T" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
> about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
>
> Now, I am not religious, I consider myself spiritual now, rather
> than Christian, altho originally raised Christian. Still believe in God
> too, just probably a bit different perspective than most people. High
> Priest for the Woodworking Gods.
>
> That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
> whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer? If he
> was raised in the U.S., I figure he's probably gonna put "Jesus Christ"
> in there somewhere. Far as that goes, what would an Amish woodworker
> say? I don't care how religious you are, there aren't too many peope
> who aren't going to say something.
>
> Now me, I know for a fact that sooner or later the words Jesus
> Christ would probably fit in there somewhere. Probably proceeded by
> sonovabitch, and several other choice words.
>
> And, I'm convinced there is no athiest or agnotic in existance
> that's just going to say "Oh my, I have gone and hit my thumb". They'll
> be instant converts to religion, and calling on God and Jesus.
>
> The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
>
>
>
> JOAT
> Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
> matter, and those who matter dont mind.
> - Dr Seuss
>
[email protected] (J T) wrote in news:20858-41B0B819-56@storefull-
3151.bay.webtv.net:
> That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
> whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer?
My sister came up with the phrase "OH! PLATE-BREAKING WORD!" It has been a
source of humour in the family for decades. She it, however, a potter and
a glass artist, and not a woodworker.
I think we are more creative, on the whole. At least with language.
The fun starts, when the worker has substituted air tools for hand tools,
for fastening tasks.
Patriarch,
been there. done that. luckily, no scar.
Dave Hinz wrote:
> rather a long way, and we're _well_ on the right side of the
> border, thankyouverymuch. Visited an ancestral farm this
> summer, it's been in the family for rather a long time:
> <http://www.dokpro.uio.no/perl/middelalder/diplom_vise_tekst.prl?b=2592&s=240>
Hey! No fair! What language is that? The machine translation (I
assumed norwegian) is about as bad as the original:
"Previous letter in trykkrekkefølgeb.3( nr.293) Next letter in
trykkrekkefølge (b.3 nr.295) b.III s.240 abbreviate Three Mænd
kundgjöre , that Harald paa Grove and his Housewife Ingeborg sold
at Gudbrand Thordssön Öresbol in Tokestad paa Prepare Ringsaker
). fount Efter Orig. p. Perg. in Norwegian Rigsarkiv. Segl fails.
lay 294. date 29 June 1358. location Baldeshol. Brevtekst ( at it
printed the edition ): Ollum monnum þeim sem þetta bref sea eder
h oe yra does not send Pall finish Græfsæimi Lean finish
Baldissole fair enough Æiriker baghghe q. g. fair enough sina
yder gerom additional kunniktt att finish Peters canteen dagh
varom additional finish Bal - these finish Nose finish þridiu are
rikiss herald vyrduleghs mister mister Have - the wife meder guds
nad Noreghs konoghs sam fair enough h oe yrdum finish att þau
heldo simultane saman finish æinni halfuo Haralder finish Grove
finish Nose fair enough Jngi - biorgh the wife his fair enough
Gudbrander Þorders son meder þi skilorde att fyrnefder Haralder
fair enough Jngibiorg væittu þi viderganghu att þau hafdo sælt
fyrnefdum Gudbrande iii aura bowl jærder j Tokastadum am liger
finish Prepare frialst fair enough hæimolt meder allum lunnyndum
am supplemented ligha vttan guard fair enough jnnan fair enough
vpp drill match penigh fair enough oe fsta () fair enough alla
þar j millum am ( in kaupp þæira arrived fair enough supplemented
sanynda here vm settum additional vor jnsigli firir þetta bref am
gort stayed are fair enough dæigi sem a chap sæighir."
[Roughly speaking]
--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto/solar.html
Sat, Dec 4, 2004, 4:04am (EST+5) [email protected] (Chris=A0Melanson)
says:
<snip> HOARE" <snip>
Reminds me of an old joak.
This college kid was in a bar, and at the next table this guy and a
woman are talking. All of a sudden she burst out crying and the guy
leaves.
The college kid goes to her table, she was hot, and sits down to
comfort her. He asks why she's crying. And, she tells him the guy
called her a terrible name. Well, the kid wants to know what he called
her. "Oh, it's a terrible word, and I couldn't repeat it". So, the kid
tells her to spell it for him. So, she leans over and whispers in his
ear. He immediately jumps up, and shouts out, "No dammit, it starts
with a W, not an H".
JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss
"Joe C." <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
> That's one xray I'd love to see. Your story reminds me of the guy who took
> an 18" auger bit straight thru the skull. For those who haven't seen it....
>
> http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/news/090203_nw_drill_survivor.html
>
> Wonder what _he_ said?
>
> Joe C.
>
>
That gave me the willies!
Dan
"Frank Ketchum" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
> "J T" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> >
> > High
> > Priest for the Woodworking Gods.
> >
>
> When I injure myself, I say one of two things:
>
> If it was a power tool, I say "Norm damn it!"
> If is a neander tool, I say "Roy damn it!"
>
> Frank
LOL
Da(m)n
> I usually utter an 'AAAHHH SHIT!!!', firmly grasp the injured digit,
> then dance in place to placate the Hammer God.
That would be "Thor", as in "Thor Thumb" his full name, as given to him by a
lisping Viking many moons ago, shortly after he invented the hammer. Man had
no need for gods until tools were invented.
Dave Hinz wrote:
> On Sat, 04 Dec 2004 19:13:40 GMT, jo4hn <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>>My mother (a good lady of Norwegian extraction) says she always swears
>>in Swedish. The good Lord certainly speaks Norwegian but as certainly
>>does not speak Swedish.
>
>
> But...the swear words are nearly the same, unless she knew some that
> I have not yet learned.
>
Relayed your comment to mom and her comment was something like: "He's
probably just another heathen Swede". :-)
mahalo,
jo4hn
> J T wrote:
> > This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
> > about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
> >
> > Now, I am not religious, I consider myself spiritual now, rather
> > than Christian, altho originally raised Christian. Still believe in God
> > too, just probably a bit different perspective than most people. High
> > Priest for the Woodworking Gods.
> >
> > That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
> > whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer? If he
> > was raised in the U.S., I figure he's probably gonna put "Jesus Christ"
> > in there somewhere. Far as that goes, what would an Amish woodworker
> > say? I don't care how religious you are, there aren't too many peope
> > who aren't going to say something.
> >
> > Now me, I know for a fact that sooner or later the words Jesus
> > Christ would probably fit in there somewhere. Probably proceeded by
> > sonovabitch, and several other choice words.
> >
> > And, I'm convinced there is no athiest or agnotic in existance
> > that's just going to say "Oh my, I have gone and hit my thumb". They'll
> > be instant converts to religion, and calling on God and Jesus.
> >
> > The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
> >
> >
Last time I did a nasty to myself in the shop (fell against an old
board I was going to "reclaim" and drove an 8 penny nail about 2" into
my arm) I can remember my exact response. "Oh, my! Darn! Ouch!
What bad luck. Gee, whizz." Or something like that. :)
FoggyTown
"Cut to shape . . . pound to fit."
On Fri, 3 Dec 2004 14:01:45 -0500, [email protected] (J T)
wrote:
> This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
>about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
>
> Now, I am not religious, I consider myself spiritual now, rather
>than Christian, altho originally raised Christian. Still believe in God
>too, just probably a bit different perspective than most people. High
>Priest for the Woodworking Gods.
>
> That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
>whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer? If he
>was raised in the U.S., I figure he's probably gonna put "Jesus Christ"
>in there somewhere. Far as that goes, what would an Amish woodworker
>say? I don't care how religious you are, there aren't too many peope
>who aren't going to say something.
>
> Now me, I know for a fact that sooner or later the words Jesus
>Christ would probably fit in there somewhere. Probably proceeded by
>sonovabitch, and several other choice words.
>
> And, I'm convinced there is no athiest or agnotic in existance
>that's just going to say "Oh my, I have gone and hit my thumb". They'll
>be instant converts to religion, and calling on God and Jesus.
>
> The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
Hmmm... I'm not atheist or agnostic, and not a Christian either-
usually I just let out an inarticulate bellow followed by (most
commonly) pig-fucker, sonofawhore, or shit. Don't recall ever yelling
the name of any particular god- it wasn't their fault, after all!
OTOH, if I'm hurt badly enough to go to the hospital, usually I just
turn real quiet, get pale, and politely ask someone to give me a lift.
Odd how the little stuff that doesn't matter much seems to piss a guy
off so much more than the stuff that is actually a big deal!
Now an even better question is what Jesus (who was a carpenter) yelled
when he hit *his* thumb...
>
>JOAT
>Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
>matter, and those who matter dont mind.
>- Dr Seuss
Aut inveniam viam aut faciam
> Now, I am not religious, I consider myself spiritual now, rather
> than Christian, altho originally raised Christian. Still believe in God
> too
Hmmm. me too.
> whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer?
When that depends on how hard I have hit my thumb. Having put up a couple
thousand linear feet of wood siding 2 summers ago, I can speak from personal
experience.
I know that when I have really injured myself there is just a sucking in of
air as tears well up in my eyes.
For lesser blows, "Bastard!" is a personal favorite followed by colorful
but not expecially creative explatives.
-Steve
"J T" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
> about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
>
> Now, I am not religious, I consider myself spiritual now, rather
> than Christian, altho originally raised Christian. Still believe in God
> too, just probably a bit different perspective than most people. High
> Priest for the Woodworking Gods.
>
> That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
> whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer? If he
> was raised in the U.S., I figure he's probably gonna put "Jesus Christ"
> in there somewhere. Far as that goes, what would an Amish woodworker
> say? I don't care how religious you are, there aren't too many peope
> who aren't going to say something.
>
> Now me, I know for a fact that sooner or later the words Jesus
> Christ would probably fit in there somewhere. Probably proceeded by
> sonovabitch, and several other choice words.
>
> And, I'm convinced there is no athiest or agnotic in existance
> that's just going to say "Oh my, I have gone and hit my thumb". They'll
> be instant converts to religion, and calling on God and Jesus.
>
"whimper whimper... Mommmmmmyyyyyy!"
-j
"Robert Bonomi" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
<byte>
OK, so you need some education _about_ the fine art of swearing. <grin>
>
> 'Expletives' break down in to several basic categories.
>
> "Profanities" Taking the name of _thy_ god(s), and associated figures,
in
> vain, etc.
> "Obscenities" e.g. 'the seven words you can't say on TV'
> "Vulgarities" "neither of the above".
> "Euphemisms" "heck", "Gosh darn it", "drat", 'dag nab it', etc.
>
> A truly devout person will scrupulously avoid profanities. Although they
> may *frequently* use language in the other two classes.
>
> Note: something like 'Hell and D*mnation!' is _not_ profanity. Merely a
> vulgarity. "G*d d*mn it", on the other hand _is_ profanity.
>
> It _is_ rather surprising how much 'hurt' you can ventilate using nothing
> more than vulgarities. *Particularly* if you _don't_ use them much in
> every-day conversation.
>
> Euphemisms are totally unsuited for expressing any _intense_ emotion.
Their
> purpose for existence is to provide a 'toned down' (and thus more
'socially
> acceptable') version of the form they substitute for.
>
> The 'force' of _any_ expletive is a function of the class (from profanity
> down to euphemism), *and* the 'rarity of use'. The less often you use
_any_
> expletive, the more release you will get when you _do_ use it.
>
> Swearing/cursing _is_ an art-form. *almost* a 'lost art' these days -- as
> far as _quality_ goes. An analysis I read, back in the early 70's,
discussed
> various life-styles and the skill-set in this regard. One that stuck in
> my memory:
> "Marines, especially sargents, practice it extensively. Unfortunately,
> using a very limited vocabulary, mostly concerned with bodily
functions."
Or to misquote(probably) someone . . "Darn is for people who (don't?)
believe in Heck".(Or something like that).
--
Nahmie
The law of intelligent tinkering: save all the parts.
Funny that all the responses assume that the cause for cursing is physical
injury. My most colorful and eloquent expletives come out as a result of
screwing up that piece I've been working so hard on for so long. That's
when I'm glad there's a heavy-bag hanging in my workshop.
Dan "god fucking damn it" Grieves
"J T" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
> about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
>
> Now, I am not religious, I consider myself spiritual now, rather
> than Christian, altho originally raised Christian. Still believe in God
> too, just probably a bit different perspective than most people. High
> Priest for the Woodworking Gods.
>
> That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
> whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer? If he
> was raised in the U.S., I figure he's probably gonna put "Jesus Christ"
> in there somewhere. Far as that goes, what would an Amish woodworker
> say? I don't care how religious you are, there aren't too many peope
> who aren't going to say something.
>
> Now me, I know for a fact that sooner or later the words Jesus
> Christ would probably fit in there somewhere. Probably proceeded by
> sonovabitch, and several other choice words.
>
> And, I'm convinced there is no athiest or agnotic in existance
> that's just going to say "Oh my, I have gone and hit my thumb". They'll
> be instant converts to religion, and calling on God and Jesus.
>
> The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
>
>
>
> JOAT
> Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
> matter, and those who matter dont mind.
> - Dr Seuss
>
In article <[email protected]>,
Silvan <[email protected]> wrote:
> "shit damn fuck
> snot, twenty-nine assholes tied in a knot."
That is just wrong.
Haven't had a laugh like this in a long time....
But why twenty-nine?
*still laughing*
On Fri, 3 Dec 2004 14:01:45 -0500, [email protected] (J T)
wrote:
> That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
>whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer?
This one uses the names of government cabinet ministers. Offends
no-one (that matters) and it's the only way I can remember most of the
faceless drones.
If you want to invoke deities, I'd suggest Norse pagan ones. They have
a good range, they seem particularly appropriate for the job, and a
few were even killed by hammer blows.
That's one xray I'd love to see. Your story reminds me of the guy who took
an 18" auger bit straight thru the skull. For those who haven't seen it....
http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/news/090203_nw_drill_survivor.html
Wonder what _he_ said?
Joe C.
"Dave Hinz" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On Fri, 3 Dec 2004 14:01:45 -0500, J T <[email protected]> wrote:
> > This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
> > about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
> >
> > And, I'm convinced there is no athiest or agnotic in existance
> > that's just going to say "Oh my, I have gone and hit my thumb". They'll
> > be instant converts to religion, and calling on God and Jesus.
>
> When I shot a 3" long framing nail into my left index finger (lengthwise)
> while building my house, it was "ouch. Son of a bitch. (pause) (look)
> Son of a BITCH!".
>
> The X-ray is impressive.
>
"Tim Douglass" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On Fri, 03 Dec 2004 19:18:00 -0600, Morris Dovey <[email protected]>
> wrote:
>
> >J T wrote:
> >
> >> The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
> >
> >["Curiouser and curiouser..."]
> >
> >Of the the principals of the belief systems you listed, I think
> >only Jesus was a woodworker. Do you suppose he ever hit his thumb
> >with a hammer? And if so, what would he have said?
>
> Me! Me! Me!
>
> Tim Douglass
>
> http://www.DouglassClan.com
ROFLMAO!
Mekon
Dave Hinz wrote:
> On Mon, 06 Dec 2004 15:43:47 -0600, Morris Dovey
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Dave Hinz wrote:
>>
>>> rather a long way, and we're _well_ on the right side of
>>> the border, thankyouverymuch. Visited an ancestral farm
>>> this summer, it's been in the family for rather a long
>>> time:
>>
>>> <http://www.dokpro.uio.no/perl/middelalder/diplom_vise_tekst.prl?b=2592&s=240>
>>>
>>
>> Hey! No fair! What language is that?
>
> Middle Norse, mixed with more than a little Latin. The
> "summary" at the top is in Danish.
Thanks. As a non-Latin, non-Norse speaker, non-Danish speaking
person I was baffled by the combination.
>> The machine translation (I assumed norwegian) is about as
>> bad as the original:
>
>> "Previous letter in trykkrekkefølgeb.3( nr.293) Next letter
>> in trykkrekkefølge (b.3 nr.295) b.III s.240 abbreviate Three
>> Mænd kundgjöre , that Harald paa Grove and his Housewife
>> Ingeborg sold at Gudbrand Thordssön Öresbol in Tokestad paa
>> Prepare Ringsaker
>
> (snip)
>
>> [Roughly speaking]
>
>
> Less roughly, "3 men of the King's Magistrate witness that
> Haral of Lunde, and his wife Ingeborg, sold to Gudbrand
> Thordsson (my ancestor) 3 units of land, called Tokstad, in
> Forberg (in Ringsaker).
Hmm. All things (including my erroneous choice of "from"
language) considered, the software translator didn't do as badly
as I'd have expected.
I'm dazzled that the records are so conveniently available.
> The text of the brief is in middle norse, the summary was
> written in the 1700s or 1800s. It names the 3 magistrates
> (Paul of Graefsaeimi, Godin of Baldissole, and Aerik Baghghe),
> as agents of King Hakonar. I have a real translation done by
> an Icelandic friend, but that's the gist. Later, Gudbrand
> bought the rest of Tokstad from this couple, and the bill of
> sale says that they (Harald and Ingeborg) are free to live at
> Tokstad, in the smaller house, until they die, as long as
> there is "peace between the families" or words to that effect.
> It was really cool to see the main house and the smaller
> house, and based on the architecture of at least the main
> house, it's the one from that time.
It's cool even to me - and I don't have any [known] connection.
Is this recordkeeping typical? Do researchers/historians have
access to such data for all/most families or holdings?
>
> There are timbers in the basement of the main house, that
> someone from the local university dated to around the year
> 1000. Not sure what kind of wood they were, though, there was
> no discernable grain or figure and they were very dark.
Next time you visit, bring back pictures!
--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto/solar.html
"J T" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
> about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
>
> Now, I am not religious, I consider myself spiritual now, rather
> than Christian, altho originally raised Christian. Still believe in God
> too, just probably a bit different perspective than most people. High
> Priest for the Woodworking Gods.
>
> That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
> whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer? If he
> was raised in the U.S., I figure he's probably gonna put "Jesus Christ"
> in there somewhere. Far as that goes, what would an Amish woodworker
> say? I don't care how religious you are, there aren't too many peope
> who aren't going to say something.
>
> Now me, I know for a fact that sooner or later the words Jesus
> Christ would probably fit in there somewhere. Probably proceeded by
> sonovabitch, and several other choice words.
>
> And, I'm convinced there is no athiest or agnotic in existance
> that's just going to say "Oh my, I have gone and hit my thumb". They'll
> be instant converts to religion, and calling on God and Jesus.
>
> The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
>
Speaking for myself (agnostic), it goes something like this:
SMASH!!!!!
.
<this is going to hurt>
..
<a bunch>
...
<right about....>
....
OWW!! fargingsunuvabitchinwhore! UUNNGGG!!! GODDAMMIT!!!
I then spend some "quiet time" searching for the hammer.
I think it's more a point of the expressions you mentioned becoming a part
of the lexicon, rather than anything with religious connotations. I can,
however, only imaging the restraint a devoutly religious person must use in
order not to blaspheme in one of these moments. On the other hand, one could
also scream "F*** YOU!" at one's hammer, without having any intention of
fornicating with it.
Buddhadamnit!?
Indeed. The first words are typically some religious reference which,
as you point out, is odd since I am not religious at all. Followed by
a steady stream of expletives related to my meager intelligence and
family heritage.
The word stream is pretty much the same in all cases, the only
variations are in volume and duration based on pain level (pain as is
physical pain or pain as in how much work it is going to take to fix
the problem).
TWS
"Silvan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> > OTOH, if I'm hurt badly enough to go to the hospital, usually I just
> > turn real quiet, get pale, and politely ask someone to give me a lift.
> > Odd how the little stuff that doesn't matter much seems to piss a guy
> > off so much more than the stuff that is actually a big deal!
I'm the same way. A number of years ago when I broke both legs and as I was
sitting in the hospital waiting for a room, a number of nurses came up to me
commenting that I was white as a sheet. I had to actually talk a doctor out
of trying to run some tests for anaemia. And it was a waste of time cursing
or swearing because it would only have amplified the pain I was in, so I
just sat there and suffered in silence. What else can you do?
Upscale writes:
> A number of years ago when I broke both legs and as I was
>sitting in the hospital waiting for a room, a number of nurses came up to me
>commenting that I was white as a sheet. I had to actually talk a doctor out
>of trying to run some tests for anaemia. And it was a waste of time cursing
>or swearing because it would only have amplified the pain I was in, so I
>just sat there and suffered in silence. What else can you do?
Argh! More than 30 years ago, I tore the ligaments on both sides of my groin in
a motorcycle crash in the woods (came up under the handlebars with my thighs:
the bruises were still visible a year later, and I do NOT bruise easily). After
all the x-rays, they decided no bones were broken, so it was on to checking to
see..."Does this hurt" as he moves one leg with a slighty twist. I had spent
something like 2 hours holding as still as possible until they got me out of
the woods and to the hospital, because I already knew "this" hurt. When I came
back to myself, I saw that almost everyone nearby had their hands over their
ears. I don't know what I said to that idiot with an MD, but it was loud and
nasty, and he quit manipulating my legs.
Charlie Self
"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy."
Edgar Bergen, (Charlie McCarthy)
When the
> doctors tell you to brace yourself that something is going to happen, it's
> almost painful forcing your mind to realize that it's going to have to
> accept the pain that is coming.
Ditto that. I'm much worse with the anticipation of pain. I spent the good
part of a night in the emergency room after stepping down off a my workmate
with my full eight onto a nail. The docto r had to pull little bits of
shoe-sole rubber out of my foot. I was stiff as a board waiting for him to
pull that out.
The funny thing about that trip to the ER was that it was about 2:00am and
the police brought some guy into the adjacent room who was drunk and had
apparently driven onto someone's front porch. He was abusive resistive and
apparently handcuffed to gurney.
Sound from the next room:
DR: We need to take of your pants sir.
Patient: You're not taking off my F*ing pants.
Sound effect: Zzzzzzip. (sound of sissors cutting the length of his pants).
I can't say that I have ever heard the term "c*cksucker" used more times in
a ten-minute period in my life.
-s
Sat, Dec 4, 2004, 8:17am [email protected] (C=A0&=A0S)
says:
<snip> stepping down off a my workmate with my full eight onto a nail.
<snip>
My oldest son did something like that. Except it was at school,
and one nail in each foot. One got infected, one didn't. And, he wound
up in the hospital, with the foot being operated on, then in the
hospital again, and almost another operation, to take a toe, but then
they decided to try an IV antibiotic. Three weeks of that, three times
a day, and he finally cured. Came damn close to losing the entire foot
tho. The bill was $24-25,000 or more.
JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss
"Charlie Self" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>
> Argh! More than 30 years ago, I tore the ligaments on both sides of my
groin in
> a motorcycle crash in the woods (came up under the handlebars with my
thighs:
> the bruises were still visible a year later, and I do NOT bruise easily).
After
Somehow, I think tearing ligaments around the groin would be a little more
painful, a sharper pain anyway. All I remember about breaking my legs was
the month long, seriously painful ache I had that was just below the
threshold of screaming my head off.
The one pain that really made me yell was two years later when I broke my
left leg again. The swelling was so bad that the doctors were worried that
it would constrict certain blood vessels causing the surround tissue to die.
The test to determine this was injecting a needle approximately ice pick
size into both legs and comparing the pressure of the released blood. Hell,
it even hurts to remember that pain.
One thing about woodworking accidents, is that they mostly happen all of a
sudden so one doesn't have to force the mind to accept that it's coming,
except maybe the painful trip through the hospital emergency. When the
doctors tell you to brace yourself that something is going to happen, it's
almost painful forcing your mind to realize that it's going to have to
accept the pain that is coming.
Upscale writes:
>One thing about woodworking accidents, is that they mostly happen all of a
>sudden so one doesn't have to force the mind to accept that it's coming,
>except maybe the painful trip through the hospital emergency. When the
>doctors tell you to brace yourself that something is going to happen, it's
>almost painful forcing your mind to realize that it's going to have to
>accept the pain that is coming.
Yeah. Something like the "a little stick" preceding a needle, whether for an
injection of knee lube or a blood test. The BT is little. The knee lube ain't,
and after #1, you know it won't be.
Charlie Self
"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy."
Edgar Bergen, (Charlie McCarthy)
Sat, Dec 4, 2004, 5:59am [email protected] (Upscale) says:
Somehow, I think tearing ligaments around the groin would be a little
more painful, <snip>
This guy was in an emergency room all tore up from a car accident,
but just lying there as if he didn't hurt at all.
The ER doctor was amazed. He asked the guy, "Aren't you in pain?".
And, the guy says, "Yeah, it's the third worst pain I've ever had in my
life".
The doctor was amazed, and asked, "What was the second worst
pain?". The guy replies, "Well, one day I was out hunting, and had to
go. So, I pulled my pants down, and squatted. And, squatted right down
on a bear trap".
The doctor was absolutely astounded, and asked, "If that was the
second worst pain you ever had, what wat the worst?". And the guy
replies, "When I ran out of chain".
JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss
Fi
What I usually say is :Aaarrrrgghhh!!!".
Then I say "Oooh! OOOH! OOWW! OUCH!
I said all this one day when I trimmed my thumbnail with the router,
too. Then I peeked - most of thumb still there...
On Fri, 3 Dec 2004 14:01:45 -0500, [email protected] (J T)
wrote:
> This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
>about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
>
> Now, I am not religious, I consider myself spiritual now, rather
>than Christian, altho originally raised Christian. Still believe in God
>too, just probably a bit different perspective than most people. High
>Priest for the Woodworking Gods.
>
> That said, the question: What does a Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or
>whatever, woodworker say when he hits his thumb with a hammer? If he
>was raised in the U.S., I figure he's probably gonna put "Jesus Christ"
>in there somewhere. Far as that goes, what would an Amish woodworker
>say? I don't care how religious you are, there aren't too many peope
>who aren't going to say something.
>
> Now me, I know for a fact that sooner or later the words Jesus
>Christ would probably fit in there somewhere. Probably proceeded by
>sonovabitch, and several other choice words.
>
> And, I'm convinced there is no athiest or agnotic in existance
>that's just going to say "Oh my, I have gone and hit my thumb". They'll
>be instant converts to religion, and calling on God and Jesus.
>
> The more I think about it, the more curious I get.
>
>
>
>JOAT
>Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
>matter, and those who matter dont mind.
>- Dr Seuss
jo4hn bullshits:
>J T wrote:
>
>> This is not my fault. This morning I was thinking, and I thought
>> about the recent thread on Pondering in the Workshop.
>[snip]>
>
>"Oh dear, I sincerely wish that I had not done that. Oh my, that is
>very painful. I must learn something from that."
>
As much as I hate to admit it, I sound exactly like a very loud, very
repetitive (there's another kind?) rap CD.
Charlie Self
"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy."
Edgar Bergen, (Charlie McCarthy)
"Morris Dovey" wrote in message
> [Roughly speaking]
Musta sent your spelll checker around the bend?
"I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit
pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a
porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by
istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh, and I awlyas thought
slpeling was ipmorantt."
Anonymous
--
www.e-woodshop.net
Last update: 11/06/04
"Mike Girouard" <[email protected]> wrote in message >
> Last time I did a nasty to myself in the shop (fell against an old
> board I was going to "reclaim" and drove an 8 penny nail about 2" into
> my arm) I can remember my exact response. "Oh, my! Darn! Ouch!
> What bad luck. Gee, whizz." Or something like that. :)
Sounds like another story that changes with time Mike. Sure it wasn't "Oh,
Damn! Argh! What Shitty luck. God why me?"
I mean really Mike, the words are almost the same, sure you didn't change
them a little? :)
Sat, Dec 4, 2004, 5:47am [email protected] (Upscale) says:
Sounds like another story that changes with time Mike. Sure it wasn't
"Oh, Damn! Argh! What Shitty luck. God why me?"
I mean really Mike, the words are almost the same, sure you didn't
change them a little? :)
Yeah, even the girls wouldn't say stuff like you claim.
JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss
J T wrote:
> Yeah, even the girls wouldn't say stuff like you claim.
Girls? You aren't implying girls have a cleaner vocabulary are you? I'm
frequently embarrassed by how much my wife cusses, and I don't embarrass
easy.
You should have heard her in labor.
--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/
Sun, Dec 5, 2004, 5:47pm [email protected] (Silvan) asks:
Girls? You aren't implying girls have a cleaner vocabulary are you?
<snip>
Hardly. What I was saying was, he was worse at bad language than
any girl would be, like if she just poked herself with a pin or
something, and then said "oh darn", that's all.
JOAT
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind dont
matter, and those who matter dont mind.
- Dr Seuss
After an all-male college and twenty in the military, I thought I had a good
working knowledge of profanity - until I booked my first drunken female.
"Silvan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> J T wrote:
>
> > Yeah, even the girls wouldn't say stuff like you claim.
>
> Girls? You aren't implying girls have a cleaner vocabulary are you? I'm
> frequently embarrassed by how much my wife cusses, and I don't embarrass
> easy.
>
> You should have heard her in labor.
BTDT - Twice with SWMBO, three in the rig, and you're wrong!
"Andy Dingley" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On Sun, 5 Dec 2004 18:55:56 -0500, "George" <george@least> wrote:
>
> >After an all-male college and twenty in the military, I thought I had a
good
> >working knowledge of profanity - until I booked my first drunken female.
>
> Unless she was giving birth at the time, you ain't heard nothing.
>
>
Swingman wrote:
> "Morris Dovey" wrote in message
>
>
>>[Roughly speaking]
>
>
> Musta sent your spelll checker around the bend?
>
[hogwash snip]
Boy, you guys don't know nothin'. That is a telling of the story of the
last of the flying lutefisk which was shot down by Olaf Trygvesson in
the year 1043. Note that he is the father of every person in the
western world because 1) he personally fathered 43 sons and one daughter
and, 2) if you figure the number of your forebears at 4 generations per
100 years, the number in 1043 is 11,468,213 which was the approximate
population of the western world at the time.
ya sure then,
jonsson
"Dave Hinz" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
(snip )
>
> The X-ray is impressive.
>
Post pics in ABPW!!
Mekon