A true story from Mount Isa in Queensland.
Recently a routine Police patrol car parked outside a local neighbourhood
pub late in the evening. The officer noticed a man (Luke Sandery) leaving
the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer
quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on
five
vehicles. The man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He was there
for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine
dry night). Then flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and
then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few metres, reversed a little and then
remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left. At
last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the
road. The Police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now
started
up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over
and carried out a random breathalyser test.
To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man's
intoxication.
The Police officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police
station - this breathalyser equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy"..
--
Stuart Winsor
Midland RISC OS show - Sat July 9th 2011
http://mug.riscos.org/show11/MUGshow.html
On Apr 10, 6:30=A0pm, "George W Frost" <[email protected]> wrote:
> "Robatoy" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>
> news:8d19c5b4-2daa-4c2c-ba33-c6b39d929995@a17g2000yqn.googlegroups.com...
> On Apr 10, 4:57 pm, "Greg Neill" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > Stuart wrote:
> > > A true story from Mount Isa in Queensland.
>
> > That joke was told by Ronnie Corbett on the Two Ronnies
> > television show umpteen years ago.
>
> Never let the truth get in the way of a good story...<G>
>
> Damn I miss those two Ronnies.... I do revisit them via Youtube..
> I saw Corbett on Morton just a few weeks ago... who would have thought
> he'd ever be OBE?
>
> **************************
>
> That is the trouble up in the Isa
> the place is so isolated and backward, that the jokes they receive, are
> about 15 years late and they actually think it originated in their little
> village.
> I think they have got five computers connected to the internet and three =
of
> them are in the school, one is in the local library and the other is bein=
g
> kept away from prying eyes and fingers in the local politician's office.
> School holidays are on now and there is a line of kids outside the librar=
y
> waiting to use their solitary internet link
> Which goes to show you where that joke came from
I take it they are your Newfoundlanders? One Newfie wanted to get off
the island so bad, he started rowing towards Nova Scotia. When he was
3/4 of the way there, he realized he'd never make it, so he turned
around and rowed home.
"Robatoy" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:8d19c5b4-2daa-4c2c-ba33-c6b39d929995@a17g2000yqn.googlegroups.com...
On Apr 10, 4:57 pm, "Greg Neill" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Stuart wrote:
> > A true story from Mount Isa in Queensland.
>
> That joke was told by Ronnie Corbett on the Two Ronnies
> television show umpteen years ago.
Never let the truth get in the way of a good story...<G>
Damn I miss those two Ronnies.... I do revisit them via Youtube..
I saw Corbett on Morton just a few weeks ago... who would have thought
he'd ever be OBE?
**************************
That is the trouble up in the Isa
the place is so isolated and backward, that the jokes they receive, are
about 15 years late and they actually think it originated in their little
village.
I think they have got five computers connected to the internet and three of
them are in the school, one is in the local library and the other is being
kept away from prying eyes and fingers in the local politician's office.
School holidays are on now and there is a line of kids outside the library
waiting to use their solitary internet link
Which goes to show you where that joke came from
"Luigi Zanasi" wrote:
> When I moved to Nfld in 1986, I was told the only Newfie joke I
> needed
while there:
Q: "What's black and blue and lies at the bottom of St. John's
harbour?"
A: "A CFA who tells newfie jokes."
CFA is a "Come From Away", where away is anywhere in the universe
except the island of Newfoundland.
------------------------------------
Location, location, location.
If you are in Canada, they are Newfie jokes.
If you are in the "Rust Belt" of the USA, they are Polack jokes.
If you are in Texas, they are Aggie jokes.
Location, location, location.
Lew
In article <[email protected]>,
Greg Neill <[email protected]> wrote:
> > A true story from Mount Isa in Queensland.
> That joke was told by Ronnie Corbett on the Two Ronnies
> television show umpteen years ago.
Much as I loved the two Ronnies (Best comedy duo ever, though I think Les
Dawson and Roy Barraclough ran a close second, when they used to do their
"two old women" sketches) I cannot recall the joke, though I can certainly
imagine Ronnie Corbett sitting in his chair telling it.
Ronnie Barker/Gerald Wylie was one of the most talented script writers and
comedy actors of all time. Apart from programs such as "Open all hours" I
recall a couple of short films he made that had no dialogue what so ever.
--
Stuart Winsor
Midland RISC OS show - Sat July 9th 2011
http://mug.riscos.org/show11/MUGshow.html
In article <[email protected]>,
Lew Hodgett <[email protected]> wrote:
> Location, location, location.
> If you are in Canada, they are Newfie jokes.
> If you are in the "Rust Belt" of the USA, they are Polack jokes.
> If you are in Texas, they are Aggie jokes.
> Location, location, location.
Yup. If you're in England they're Irish Jokes, in parts of Ireland they're
Kerry-man jokes and The Scots and Welsh joke about the English. (Not
forgetting, if you live in Lancashire they're Yorkshire-men jokes and
vise-versa). If you're offended by any of them you are seriously in need
of a sense of humour implant.
--
Stuart Winsor
Midland RISC OS show - Sat July 9th 2011
http://mug.riscos.org/show11/MUGshow.html
On Apr 10, 4:57=A0pm, "Greg Neill" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Stuart wrote:
> > A true story from Mount Isa in Queensland.
>
> That joke was told by Ronnie Corbett on the Two Ronnies
> television show umpteen years ago.
Never let the truth get in the way of a good story...<G>
Damn I miss those two Ronnies.... I do revisit them via Youtube..
I saw Corbett on Morton just a few weeks ago... who would have thought
he'd ever be OBE?
Extremely old joke.
On 04/10/2011 04:31 PM, Stuart wrote:
> A true story from Mount Isa in Queensland.
>
> Recently a routine Police patrol car parked outside a local neighbourhood
> pub late in the evening. The officer noticed a man (Luke Sandery) leaving
> the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
> The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer
> quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on
> five
> vehicles. The man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He was there
> for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.
> Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine
> dry night). Then flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and
> then switched on the lights.
> He moved the vehicle forward a few metres, reversed a little and then
> remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left. At
> last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down the
> road. The Police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now
> started
> up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over
> and carried out a random breathalyser test.
> To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man's
> intoxication.
> The Police officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the Police
> station - this breathalyser equipment must be broken."
> "I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy"..
On Apr 12, 2:12=A0am, Stuart <[email protected]> wrote:
> In article <[email protected]>,
> =A0 =A0Lew Hodgett <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > Location, location, location.
> > If you are in Canada, they are Newfie jokes.
> > If you are in the "Rust Belt" of the USA, they are Polack jokes.
> > If you are in Texas, they are Aggie jokes.
> > Location, location, location.
>
> Yup. If you're in England they're Irish Jokes, in parts of Ireland they'r=
e
> Kerry-man jokes and The Scots and Welsh joke about the English. (Not
> forgetting, if you live in Lancashire they're Yorkshire-men jokes and
> vise-versa). If you're offended by any of them you are seriously in need
> of a sense of humour implant.
In Italy, they are Carabinieri jokes: the Carabinieri police force is
not known for its intelligence, and I have had direct personal
experience of that.
Luigi
On Apr 10, 4:40=A0pm, Robatoy <[email protected]> wrote:
> I take it they are your Newfoundlanders? One Newfie wanted to get off
> the island so bad, he started rowing towards Nova Scotia. When he was
> 3/4 of the way there, he realized he'd never make it, so he turned
> around and rowed home.
When I moved to Nfld in 1986, I was told the only Newfie joke I needed
while there:
Q: "What's black and blue and lies at the bottom of St. John's
harbour?"
A: "A CFA who tells newfie jokes."
CFA is a "Come From Away", where away is anywhere in the universe
except the island of Newfoundland.
Luigi