When I was young and tall and straight and - thin
(and this was not so long ago)
I could look south beyond my belt
And down there see my wiggly toe
Both of them in fact
A pair
Of wiggly piggly toes
And all the top part of my feets
That were not hid by clothes
Some time back I came to notice
My feets were gone
My toes
(and scrotus)
Hid beyond a vast horizon
That had expanded as I'd wisened
(my wife insists I've merely widened)
(sigh)
The other day when in the shop
I bent to grab a tool I'd dropped
As I bent down my buttons popped
That once held up my jeans
I swore at Messrs Coats and Clark
Whose thread won't keep a button parked
My arse exposed
An so my tenders
(make a note to buy suspenders)
Lest you be oercome by mirth
At my tale of expanding girth
You must consider what it's worth
To keep your body slim
Should I live on naught but greens
At just the time I've got the means
To buy myself a decent steak
The very thought
My heart doth break
No more beer nights with the boys
(eating shit called "Healthy Choice")
And all that frigging Atkins noise
What's a man to do
I'll tell you that I've got a plan
To conquer my expanding span
A compromise
Some give and take
I'll only eat when I'm awake
Thomas J. Watson - Cabinetmaker (ret.)
(Real Email is tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet)
http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1/
Tom Watson wrote:
> A compromise
> Some give and take
>
> I'll only eat when I'm awake
Is that anything like a seefood diet? If so, count me in.
I have a penis down there somewhere, I think, on the other side of that big
white hump.
--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
"Silvan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> I have a penis down there somewhere, I think, on the other side of that
big
> white hump.
>
One portly guy to another in the showers at the local gym:
"Have you thought about a diet?"
"Dye it? Hell, I don't know what color it is now!"
(insert groan here)
Rob
(who's loving the Atkins noise...to the tune of 46lbs!)