What exactly is a bastard? We have old bastards, young bastards, good
bastards, bad bastards, silly bastards, smart bastards; hard bastards,weak
bastards, kind bastards, sadistic bastards, - the list is endless. In fact,
everyone in Oz is potentially some sort of bastard. Mostly it's use is
intended to be non-offensive, even affectionate, though not always. There
was no mistaking the sentiment of a WW2 POW when he said,
"the Japs were bastards."
Sometimes it's the perfect word.
We've got a great tradition of playing practical jokes on our mates, the
more outlandish or dangerous the better. The standard response from the
victim is to yell "you bastard, " often accompanied with the victim taking a
swing at the perpetrator, whereupon, both blokes will fall about laughing
until they can hardly draw breath.
Here's a picture that explains that better than I ever could.
Two blokes in a bomb disposal team, the one on the right is in the middle of
a deactivation.
The bloke behind him, well, ......... he's a bastard!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/32473839@N02
What do the following words describe?
1/. Cobbler
2/. Wobbly boots
3/. Canary
4/. Bikkies
5/. Poisoner
diggerop
In article <[email protected]>, diggerop
<toobusy@themoment> wrote:
> What exactly is a bastard? We have old bastards, young bastards, good
> bastards, bad bastards, silly bastards, smart bastards; hard bastards,weak
> bastards, kind bastards, sadistic bastards, - the list is endless. In fact,
> everyone in Oz is potentially some sort of bastard.
"All bastards are bastards, but some bastards is *bastards*."
-- (Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent)
In article <[email protected]>,
diggerop <toobusy@themoment> wrote:
>
>What exactly is a bastard? We have old bastards, young bastards, good
>bastards, bad bastards, silly bastards, smart bastards; hard bastards,weak
>bastards, kind bastards, sadistic bastards, - the list is endless. In fact,
>everyone in Oz is potentially some sort of bastard. Mostly it's use is
>intended to be non-offensive, even affectionate, though not always. There
>was no mistaking the sentiment of a WW2 POW when he said,
>"the Japs were bastards."
>Sometimes it's the perfect word.
>We've got a great tradition of playing practical jokes on our mates, the
>more outlandish or dangerous the better. The standard response from the
>victim is to yell "you bastard, " often accompanied with the victim taking a
>swing at the perpetrator, whereupon, both blokes will fall about laughing
>until they can hardly draw breath.
>Here's a picture that explains that better than I ever could.
>Two blokes in a bomb disposal team, the one on the right is in the middle of
>a deactivation.
>The bloke behind him, well, ......... he's a bastard!
>
>http://www.flickr.com/photos/32473839@N02
>
>What do the following words describe?
>
>1/. Cobbler
a) Gymnapistes marmoratus.
b) a 'more polite' form of bollocks.
c) a difficult sheep to shear.
d) a craftsman whose children are typically unshod, per folklore.
>2/. Wobbly boots
Someone who _did_ get Olivers at the rubbity-dub.
>3/. Canary
One who once claimed residency at the crossbar motel.
>4/. Bikkies
Expensive, when used with a dimensional qualifier prepended,
In the southern U.S., often found in the presense of red-eye gravy.
>5/. Poisoner
The baitlayer -- makes the the babbler's brownie.
In song, he who made 'hot cross buns, all served up with sugar and glue.'
"Dave Balderstone" <dave@N_O_T_T_H_I_Sbalderstone.ca> wrote in message
news:151120091727109535%dave@N_O_T_T_H_I_Sbalderstone.ca...
> In article <[email protected]>, diggerop
> <toobusy@themoment> wrote:
>
>> What exactly is a bastard? We have old bastards, young bastards, good
>> bastards, bad bastards, silly bastards, smart bastards; hard
>> bastards,weak
>> bastards, kind bastards, sadistic bastards, - the list is endless. In
>> fact,
>> everyone in Oz is potentially some sort of bastard.
>
> "All bastards are bastards, but some bastards is *bastards*."
> -- (Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent)
Heh. I like that. Pratchett too, - funny bastard.
diggerop