<[email protected]> wrote:
> My folks both took a bad turn, and about ten months ago I thought my
> mother died while I was holding her while waiting for EMS. She
> didn't.
-----------------------------------------
I can relate.
My mother suffered a compound fracture of her lower leg at 102.
As the doctor said, "This will be a life changing experience."
---------------------------------------
> A month later, my Dad had emergency surgery that began a incredible
> run of bad luck, including falling on the way to the bathroom and
> breaking his back in 3 places. Not good for an 84 year old.
-------------------------------------------------
Not good is an understatement.
-------------------------------------------
> He spent 8 months in the hospital and in rehab without seeing his
> house, and never thought that the last time he left there in the
> ambulance he would never live there again.
----------------------------------------
Can relate, sold mom's place since it was wintertime in Northern Ohio,
I lived 2,500 miles away and couldn't take care of the place.
------------------------------------------
> After months of intensive therapy (he really worked his ass off) he
> can now pull himself around in a wheelchair for short distances.
> His
> pencil thin arms don't have the strength or his hands the dexterity
> to
> move himself around too far without help, though.
---------------------------------------
That's good.
Mom wouldn't do therapy and she ended up bed ridden.
----------------------------------------------
This is a sad state
> of affairs for someone that is entirely incontinent.
>
> They are now both in an assisted living home.
-------------------------------------------
You are fortunate to have a safe facility available.
--------------------------------------------
I supervise their
> medical care, their living budget, as well as their legal affairs.
> THOSE are things I never thought I would do, nor did I want to.
--------------------------------------------
BTDT.
-------------------------------------
I
> have a sister that lives here as well, and she has offered to help
> when she can, but it is difficult for her to take time from work to
> do
> so.
===========================
You do what you can do.
-----------------------------------------
> Both parents now wile away the hours in their room, watching TV and
> waiting for the next meal. No day is any different from the next,
> and
> watching them is like watching sand slip through an hour glass.
> Their
> days are so uneventful that they don't remember much of anything
> that
> happened to them just a day or two before. They are unhappy,
> depressed, and feel abandoned.
--------------------------------------------------
Attitude is a tough thing.
My mother had an unbelieveable attitude; however, when she turned 103,
it was as if she put one last hash mark on the wall and seemed to say,
"I'm done".
She lasted less than 90 days.
--------------------------------------------
> If there is a positive note on this, it makes me appreciate the
> fresh
> air, sunshine, rain, cold, and heat more every day.
-------------------------------------------------
I'm sure they would be happy knowing you are still able to learn from
their experience.
------------------------------------------
> I often wonder what my Dad would give to be able to hit his thumb
> with
> a hammer again or to get a sunburn.
--------------------------------------
LOL
-------------------------------------
Just remember:
You wake up every morning, you feel those paddies hit the floor, and
both lungs are working, you have a shot at a new day.
Everything else is bonus money.
Take care.
Lew
"basilisk" wrote:
> The world is short one of the good ones today,
> My last grandad died this morning.
>
> He was 90 and 2 weeks ago he was building an addition on
> my uncles house.
---------------------------------
I'm sure it is difficult for you and yours, but what a great way to
cash in your chips.
Lew
<[email protected]> wrote:
> Looking at my parents, I'd take it.
----------------------------
How are things going Robert?
Lew
"EXT" wrote:
> That's not the way I want to go, I saw my father-in-law take 8
> months to die, little by little bit, in a nursing home. We tried to
> care for him in our home over a weekend. Just about killed our backs
> lifting him up from bed so he could go to the bathroom. We just
> couldn't do it for more than the weekend.
Nursing facilities use what I laughingly call an electrically operated
"jib crane", to lift people either from or back into bed.
Not something you are likely to have at home.
Lew
<[email protected]> wrote:
> Up here in Canuck land, many facilities use a device called a Hoyer
> lift. Various models are available with a sling lift.
------------------------------
Same widget.
Lew
On Jan 15, 6:37 pm, "Lew Hodgett" <[email protected]> wrote:
> <[email protected]> wrote:
> > Looking at my parents, I'd take it.
>
> ----------------------------
> How are things going Robert?
>
> Lew
Thanks for asking, Lew. Not well sad to say.
My folks both took a bad turn, and about ten months ago I thought my
mother died while I was holding her while waiting for EMS. She
didn't.
A month later, my Dad had emergency surgery that began a incredible
run of bad luck, including falling on the way to the bathroom and
breaking his back in 3 places. Not good for an 84 year old.
He spent 8 months in the hospital and in rehab without seeing his
house, and never thought that the last time he left there in the
ambulance he would never live there again.
After months of intensive therapy (he really worked his ass off) he
can now pull himself around in a wheelchair for short distances. His
pencil thin arms don't have the strength or his hands the dexterity to
move himself around too far without help, though. This is a sad state
of affairs for someone that is entirely incontinent.
They are now both in an assisted living home. I supervise their
medical care, their living budget, as well as their legal affairs.
THOSE are things I never thought I would do, nor did I want to. I
have a sister that lives here as well, and she has offered to help
when she can, but it is difficult for her to take time from work to do
so.
Both parents now wile away the hours in their room, watching TV and
waiting for the next meal. No day is any different from the next, and
watching them is like watching sand slip through an hour glass. Their
days are so uneventful that they don't remember much of anything that
happened to them just a day or two before. They are unhappy,
depressed, and feel abandoned.
If there is a positive note on this, it makes me appreciate the fresh
air, sunshine, rain, cold, and heat more every day.
I often wonder what my Dad would give to be able to hit his thumb with
a hammer again or to get a sunburn.
Thanks for thinking of me, Lew.
Robert
On Jan 15, 10:53=A0am, basilisk <[email protected]> wrote:
> The world is short one of the good ones today,
> My last grandad died this morning.
>
> He was 90 and 2 weeks ago he was building an addition on
> my uncles house.
>
> basilisk
Ain't no school like the old school.
My grandpa was 96 when he passed, a no-kiddin cowboy and blacksmith.
Bought some land, felled the trees, built a 2 story house from said
trees. 60 years later the house needed some work on the
foundation... after all that time it was within 1/8 on an inch of
being dead on square.
Let's hope that those lessons live on in all of us so our kids stand a
chance.
In article <[email protected]>,
basilisk <[email protected]> wrote:
> The world is short one of the good ones today,
> My last grandad died this morning.
>
> He was 90 and 2 weeks ago he was building an addition on
> my uncles house.
>
> basilisk
My condolences.
Both my grampas were carpenters/woodworkers. The last one to go rebuilt
his 2 car garage after a fire destroyed it. He was 88, died at 99.
On Jan 15, 2:53=A0pm, basilisk <[email protected]> wrote:
> The world is short one of the good ones today,
> My last grandad died this morning.
>
> He was 90 and 2 weeks ago he was building an addition on
> my uncles house.
>
> basilisk
My heartfelt condolences. Sounds like he lived a full life.
"WW" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "basilisk" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> The world is short one of the good ones today,
>> My last grandad died this morning.
>>
>> He was 90 and 2 weeks ago he was building an addition on
>> my uncles house.
>>
>> basilisk
>
> Sorry for your loss, but that is the way to go rather than spending years
> in a nursing home. WW
That's not the way I want to go, I saw my father-in-law take 8 months to
die, little by little bit, in a nursing home. We tried to care for him in
our home over a weekend. Just about killed our backs lifting him up from bed
so he could go to the bathroom. We just couldn't do it for more than the
weekend. Now I am in my 70th year, and hope that I go fast. Fast is hard on
the survivors but at least it is over and done without guilt and remorse.
On Sat, 16 Jan 2010 15:15:22 -0800 (PST), the infamous
"[email protected]" <[email protected]> scrawled the
following:
>On Jan 15, 6:37 pm, "Lew Hodgett" <[email protected]> wrote:
>> <[email protected]> wrote:
>> > Looking at my parents, I'd take it.
>>
>> ----------------------------
>> How are things going Robert?
>>
>> Lew
>
>Thanks for asking, Lew. Not well sad to say.
>
>My folks both took a bad turn, and about ten months ago I thought my
>mother died while I was holding her while waiting for EMS. She
>didn't.
>
>A month later, my Dad had emergency surgery that began a incredible
>run of bad luck, including falling on the way to the bathroom and
>breaking his back in 3 places. Not good for an 84 year old.
>
>He spent 8 months in the hospital and in rehab without seeing his
>house, and never thought that the last time he left there in the
>ambulance he would never live there again.
>
>After months of intensive therapy (he really worked his ass off) he
>can now pull himself around in a wheelchair for short distances. His
>pencil thin arms don't have the strength or his hands the dexterity to
>move himself around too far without help, though. This is a sad state
>of affairs for someone that is entirely incontinent.
>
>They are now both in an assisted living home. I supervise their
>medical care, their living budget, as well as their legal affairs.
>THOSE are things I never thought I would do, nor did I want to. I
>have a sister that lives here as well, and she has offered to help
>when she can, but it is difficult for her to take time from work to do
>so.
>
>Both parents now wile away the hours in their room, watching TV and
>waiting for the next meal. No day is any different from the next, and
>watching them is like watching sand slip through an hour glass. Their
>days are so uneventful that they don't remember much of anything that
>happened to them just a day or two before. They are unhappy,
>depressed, and feel abandoned.
>
>If there is a positive note on this, it makes me appreciate the fresh
>air, sunshine, rain, cold, and heat more every day.
>
>I often wonder what my Dad would give to be able to hit his thumb with
>a hammer again or to get a sunburn.
>
>Thanks for thinking of me, Lew.
Robert, isn't there a way you could take him home (to your shop) for a
day, or part of one? Figure out a small project he could do from a
wheelchair and make it happen! He'd love it.
Perhaps ask your sister to do the same (shopping trip?) for your mom
that same day, so they each had new stories to share when they got
"home" that evening.
Just a thought.
--
The greatest fine art of the future will be the making
of a comfortable living from a small piece of land.
--Abraham Lincoln
On Fri, 15 Jan 2010 13:53:23 -0600, basilisk <[email protected]>
wrote:
>The world is short one of the good ones today,
>My last grandad died this morning.
>
>He was 90 and 2 weeks ago he was building an addition on
>my uncles house.
>
>basilis
My condolences, at least he had a good innings.
Rgds,
Phil.
basilisk wrote:
> The world is short one of the good ones today,
> My last grandad died this morning.
>
> He was 90 and 2 weeks ago he was building an addition on
> my uncles house.
>
> basilisk
Condolences; prayers for your family in their loss. Sounds like he had a
good life and was able to do what he wanted to be doing throughout --
that's a blessing.
--
There is never a situation where having more rounds is a disadvantage
Rob Leatham
On Fri, 15 Jan 2010 13:53:23 -0600, the infamous basilisk
<[email protected]> scrawled the following:
>The world is short one of the good ones today,
>My last grandad died this morning.
>
>He was 90 and 2 weeks ago he was building an addition on
>my uncles house.
Condolences, basilisk. I hope you got to visit with him in his latter
days. I got to say goodbye to my dad the day before he died. That
really helps when you lose someone.
90 and building a house. Wonderful! May we all be as lucky.
Celebrate his life!
--
The greatest fine art of the future will be the making
of a comfortable living from a small piece of land.
--Abraham Lincoln
On Jan 17, 12:37 pm, Larry Jaques <novalidaddress@di\/ersify.com>
wrote:
> Robert, isn't there a way you could take him home (to your shop) for a
> day, or part of one? Figure out a small project he could do from a
> wheelchair and make it happen! He'd love it.
He doesn't have the dexterity to do much of anything anymore. For
example, he told me that the women folk in our family had taken his
pocket knives from him, and now wouldn't let him have one for fear he
would cut himself. He raised me as he was raised, and that is with a
pocket knife in my possession at 6. (Yes, I cut and stabbed myself a
couple or three times, but he figured everyone he knew learned how to
use a knife from that experience... I did!). So he took me aside when
I asked him what he wanted for Christmas and told me he wanted a nice
pocket knife.
So I got him one. It was an easy pulling Stockman with no blade
locks, and he couldn't get the knife blade open. Try as he could, he
was humiliated that he couldn't get his fingernail into the nail nick,
hold the knife, and get it open. Once he got his nail in the nick and
got it partially open, he tore his nail off.
I know that hurt like hell, but nowhere near as much as the pain of
that embarrassment.
Additionally, his incontinence requires additional nursing staff for
cleaning after the the fact. He never knows when he will have a full
load, or when his Foley bag will need emptying. Although I have
cleaned him up more than once, he is uncomfortable being far away from
his nurses and their care.
> Perhaps ask your sister to do the same (shopping trip?) for your mom
> that same day, so they each had new stories to share when they got
> "home" that evening.
>
> Just a thought.
My Mom is still a delight, but if you have my Mom, you have to have my
Dad. My <sister> can take her out for dinner or shopping, but if I do
he won't talk to me for a month. Mom and me had some nice evenings
when he was in the hospital as I could pick her up and take her out to
eat (the more out of the way place the better), or bring over dinner
and a DVD, and we could talk about old movies and stuff she and I both
like. She is a very small rural town, and for her the simple
pleasures are the best.
Unlike basilisk's people who are to be admired, mine have been rusting
out for years. At this point, although I am in the middle of managing
things they should have taken care of themselves years ago and have
come to the conclusion they will just continue to rust out until they
are finished.
Those were good thoughts, though.
Robert
On Fri, 15 Jan 2010 13:53:23 -0600, basilisk <[email protected]>
wrote:
>The world is short one of the good ones today,
>My last grandad died this morning.
My condolences. It's especially hard to lose a relative you really
respect.
"basilisk" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> The world is short one of the good ones today,
> My last grandad died this morning.
>
> He was 90 and 2 weeks ago he was building an addition on
> my uncles house.
>
> basilisk
Sorry for your loss, but that is the way to go rather than spending years in
a nursing home. WW
"basilisk" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> The world is short one of the good ones today,
> My last grandad died this morning.
>
> He was 90 and 2 weeks ago he was building an addition on
> my uncles house.
>
> basilisk
Sorry for your loss... Both of my grand fathers were gone before I was
born. My mother's father built all of his houses, houses for his sisters
and a small house for my mother.
On 1/15/2010 8:23 PM, basilisk wrote:
> I truly appreciate everyones well wishes.
>
> He was taken out by a series of strokes and bad heart rythm in just a
> few days, he recovered enough early this morning to insist that no
> rescuitation be done should he get worse, he was ready and the family
> abided by his wishes. Yea, I'll miss him but that makes it easier.
Re-posted in honor of both of our grandfathers:
http://groups.google.com/group/rec.woodworking/browse_thread/thread/89e7682cb91bda13/a7cdcd3fe1a0f824?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=a+gloat+of+magical+proportions+group:rec.woodworking+insubject:magical+author:swingman#a7cdcd3fe1a0f824
or:
http://tinyurl.com/ygtmm8k
--
www.e-woodshop.net
Last update: 10/22/08
KarlC@ (the obvious)
basilisk <[email protected]> wrote in news:VI34n.76003$FK3.34664@en-
nntp-06.dc1.easynews.com:
My condolences as well. What a great guy!
--
Best regards
Han
email address is invalid
On 01/15/2010 06:35 PM, Lew Hodgett wrote:
> "basilisk" wrote:
>> The world is short one of the good ones today,
>> My last grandad died this morning.
>>
>> He was 90 and 2 weeks ago he was building an addition on
>> my uncles house.
>
> ---------------------------------
> I'm sure it is difficult for you and yours, but what a great way to
> cash in your chips.
>
> Lew
>
>
>
I truly appreciate everyones well wishes.
He was taken out by a series of strokes and bad heart rythm in just a
few days, he recovered enough early this morning to insist that no
rescuitation be done should he get worse, he was ready and the family
abided by his wishes. Yea, I'll miss him but that makes it easier.
basilisk
On Jan 18, 6:44=A0am, "LDosser" <[email protected]> wrote:
> <[email protected]> wrote in message
>
> news:705a5f35-0470-4462-b1a1-d73fb5d0e89d@j19g2000yqk.googlegroups.com...
>
>
>
> > Those were good thoughts, though.
>
> Not the best thing to be thinking about, but do they both have advanced
> directives with do not resuscitate orders? If they don't, it might be nic=
e
> for someone on the staff of the care home to discuss it with them.
My uncle, a dentist by trade was still enjoying woodworking / home
repair up till he passed away at 101. He could put an arse back in a
cat.
On Sun, 17 Jan 2010 16:40:12 -0800, the infamous "Lew Hodgett"
<[email protected]> scrawled the following:
>
>"EXT" wrote:
>
>> That's not the way I want to go, I saw my father-in-law take 8
>> months to die, little by little bit, in a nursing home. We tried to
>> care for him in our home over a weekend. Just about killed our backs
>> lifting him up from bed so he could go to the bathroom. We just
>> couldn't do it for more than the weekend.
>
>Nursing facilities use what I laughingly call an electrically operated
>"jib crane", to lift people either from or back into bed.
>
>Not something you are likely to have at home.
My HF 1T crane is _just_like_ those, but not nearly as fancy as a Liko
or Hoyer. It's far cheaper, tho. <titter>
--
The greatest fine art of the future will be the making
of a comfortable living from a small piece of land.
--Abraham Lincoln
On Sun, 17 Jan 2010 16:40:12 -0800, "Lew Hodgett"
>Nursing facilities use what I laughingly call an electrically operated
>"jib crane", to lift people either from or back into bed.
>Not something you are likely to have at home.
Up here in Canuck land, many facilities use a device called a Hoyer
lift. Various models are available with a sling lift. It actually
works quite well, as long as it's charged up. Not really all that
expensive either relatively speaking.
The used it for me this past pre Christmas season until I got enough
strength back in my legs. They're also available for rent and well
within the purview of the home user.
http://www.phc-online.com/Portable_Hoyer_Lift_p/hoy_advance.htm
On Jan 15, 1:53=A0pm, basilisk <[email protected]> wrote:
> The world is short one of the good ones today,
> My last grandad died this morning.
>
> He was 90 and 2 weeks ago he was building an addition on
> my uncles house.
>
> basilisk
Our condolences. However, it sounds like your grandfather lived life
to the end. He, and your family are fortunate for that.
All four of our parents spent months, even years in nursing care and
that can be tough on everyone.
RonB
<[email protected]> wrote in message
news:705a5f35-0470-4462-b1a1-d73fb5d0e89d@j19g2000yqk.googlegroups.com...
>
> Those were good thoughts, though.
Not the best thing to be thinking about, but do they both have advanced
directives with do not resuscitate orders? If they don't, it might be nice
for someone on the staff of the care home to discuss it with them.
On Fri, 15 Jan 2010 20:34:42 -0600, the infamous Swingman
<[email protected]> scrawled the following:
>On 1/15/2010 8:23 PM, basilisk wrote:
>
>> I truly appreciate everyones well wishes.
>>
>> He was taken out by a series of strokes and bad heart rythm in just a
>> few days, he recovered enough early this morning to insist that no
>> rescuitation be done should he get worse, he was ready and the family
>> abided by his wishes. Yea, I'll miss him but that makes it easier.
>
>Re-posted in honor of both of our grandfathers:
>
>http://groups.google.com/group/rec.woodworking/browse_thread/thread/89e7682cb91bda13/a7cdcd3fe1a0f824?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&q=a+gloat+of+magical+proportions+group:rec.woodworking+insubject:magical+author:swingman#a7cdcd3fe1a0f824
>
>or:
>
>http://tinyurl.com/ygtmm8k
Excellent, both then and now. That was back when I first followed the
Wreck, before the break. Did you ever make plans from those pieces. (I
asked back then, too.)
--
The greatest fine art of the future will be the making
of a comfortable living from a small piece of land.
--Abraham Lincoln
On Mon, 18 Jan 2010 01:44:07 -0800, the infamous "LDosser"
<[email protected]> scrawled the following:
><[email protected]> wrote in message
>news:705a5f35-0470-4462-b1a1-d73fb5d0e89d@j19g2000yqk.googlegroups.com...
>>
>> Those were good thoughts, though.
>
>
>Not the best thing to be thinking about, but do they both have advanced
>directives with do not resuscitate orders? If they don't, it might be nice
>for someone on the staff of the care home to discuss it with them.
I need to renew mine, and maybe get that DNR tatoo on my forearm.
--
The greatest fine art of the future will be the making
of a comfortable living from a small piece of land.
--Abraham Lincoln
EXT wrote:
>
> "WW" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>>
>> "basilisk" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>> news:[email protected]...
>>> The world is short one of the good ones today,
>>> My last grandad died this morning.
>>>
>>> He was 90 and 2 weeks ago he was building an addition on
>>> my uncles house.
>>>
>>> basilisk
>>
>> Sorry for your loss, but that is the way to go rather than spending
>> years in a nursing home. WW
> That's not the way I want to go, I saw my father-in-law take 8 months to
> die, little by little bit, in a nursing home. We tried to care for him
> in our home over a weekend. Just about killed our backs lifting him up
> from bed so he could go to the bathroom. We just couldn't do it for more
> than the weekend. Now I am in my 70th year, and hope that I go fast.
> Fast is hard on the survivors but at least it is over and done without
> guilt and remorse.
>
>
>
It took SWMBO over a year to recover from a ruptured disc from
"helping" her mom out of her wheel chair. And there were trained staff
at the nursing home to help. Sometimes instinct is harmful.
On Sun, 17 Jan 2010 22:57:33 -0800 (PST), the infamous
"[email protected]" <[email protected]> scrawled the
following:
>On Jan 17, 12:37 pm, Larry Jaques <novalidaddress@di\/ersify.com>
>wrote:
>
>> Robert, isn't there a way you could take him home (to your shop) for a
>> day, or part of one? Figure out a small project he could do from a
>> wheelchair and make it happen! He'd love it.
>
>He doesn't have the dexterity to do much of anything anymore. For
>example, he told me that the women folk in our family had taken his
>pocket knives from him, and now wouldn't let him have one for fear he
>would cut himself. He raised me as he was raised, and that is with a
>pocket knife in my possession at 6. (Yes, I cut and stabbed myself a
>couple or three times, but he figured everyone he knew learned how to
>use a knife from that experience... I did!). So he took me aside when
>I asked him what he wanted for Christmas and told me he wanted a nice
>pocket knife.
>So I got him one. It was an easy pulling Stockman with no blade
>locks, and he couldn't get the knife blade open. Try as he could, he
>was humiliated that he couldn't get his fingernail into the nail nick,
>hold the knife, and get it open. Once he got his nail in the nick and
>got it partially open, he tore his nail off.
OUCH!
>I know that hurt like hell, but nowhere near as much as the pain of
>that embarrassment.
>
>Additionally, his incontinence requires additional nursing staff for
>cleaning after the the fact. He never knows when he will have a full
>load, or when his Foley bag will need emptying. Although I have
>cleaned him up more than once, he is uncomfortable being far away from
>his nurses and their care.
Suckage.
>> Perhaps ask your sister to do the same (shopping trip?) for your mom
>> that same day, so they each had new stories to share when they got
>> "home" that evening.
>>
>> Just a thought.
>
>My Mom is still a delight, but if you have my Mom, you have to have my
>Dad. My <sister> can take her out for dinner or shopping, but if I do
>he won't talk to me for a month. Mom and me had some nice evenings
>when he was in the hospital as I could pick her up and take her out to
>eat (the more out of the way place the better), or bring over dinner
>and a DVD, and we could talk about old movies and stuff she and I both
>like. She is a very small rural town, and for her the simple
>pleasures are the best.
Very cool.
>Unlike basilisk's people who are to be admired, mine have been rusting
>out for years. At this point, although I am in the middle of managing
>things they should have taken care of themselves years ago and have
>come to the conclusion they will just continue to rust out until they
>are finished.
I hope for an instant burnout someday vs. rotting in hell for years.
My body and I have an agreement. I won't let them resuscitate me and
it won't fight for a lost cause. I want to stay healthy, and if I
can't have that, trade my body in for a new one, perhaps one with
fewer karma points. ;)
>Those were good thoughts, though.
I try! Well, just go love 'em!
--
The greatest fine art of the future will be the making
of a comfortable living from a small piece of land.
--Abraham Lincoln