mh

"mike hide"

15/04/2006 9:30 AM

robots

.A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.
>>>
>>> The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him,
>>> "What's your IQ?"
>>>
>>> The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to make conversation about
>>
>>> global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biomimicry,
>>> environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nanotechnology, and
>>> sexual proclivities.
>>>
>>> The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool." He
>>> decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and
>>> comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the
>> perfectly
>>> prepared drink and asks him, "What's your IQ?"
>>>
>>> The man responds, "about a 100."
>>>
>>> Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football,
>>> NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, favorite fast foods, guns, and women's
>> body
>>> parts.
>>>
>>> Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot
>> one
>>> more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and asks,
>>> "What's your IQ?"
>>>
>>> The man replies, "Er, 50, I think."
>>>
>>> And the robot says... real slowly,
>>>
>>> "So... is... your... party... gonna... nominate... Hillary... for...
>>> president ???
>>>


This topic has 23 replies

ee

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

15/04/2006 8:23 AM

Hey, great! I got one:

The President climbed out of his helicopter in front of the White House
carrying a baby pig under each arm.

The Marine guard snapped to attention, saluted, and said:
"Nice pigs, sir."

The President replied: "Marine, these are not pigs, these are authentic
Texas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Vice President Cheney and I got
another for Karl Rove."

The Marine again snapped to attention, saluted, and replied, "Nice
trade, sir!"

tt

"tom"

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

15/04/2006 3:00 PM

Mr. Drackman wrote:snip<When you post something like the above there is
a good chance that a
Democratic will feel the need to respond and say something negative
about
our current President, next we get a response to the responce>snip

I don't think we need a
"Democratic" for that to happen. Tom

bR

[email protected] (Robert Bonomi)

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

15/04/2006 10:38 PM

In article <[email protected]>,
Mike Marlow <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>"Frank Drackman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>news:[email protected]...
>>
>> "mike hide" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>> news:[email protected]...
>> > .A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.
>> >>>>
>>
>> What does this have to do with woodworking?
>>
>>
>
>It was a mahogany bar.

And the drink was an almond daiquiri. {do I need to explain?}


DB

Dave Balderstone

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

15/04/2006 6:58 PM

In article <[email protected]>, Frank
Drackman <[email protected]> wrote:

> What does this have to do with woodworking?

A bar is made of wood.

And, the joke makes fun of Democrats/Liberals, so it's cool with me.

DB

Dave Balderstone

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

15/04/2006 6:58 PM

In article <[email protected]>, Frank
Drackman <[email protected]> wrote:

> My contribution on this message is to try to keep the group focused on
> woodworking.

Good luck, Frank.

Wasted effort, me lad.

FD

"Frank Drackman"

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

15/04/2006 2:19 PM


"mike hide" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "Frank Drackman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>>
>> "mike hide" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>> news:[email protected]...
>>> .A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.
>>>>>>
>>
>> What does this have to do with woodworking?
> Absolutely nothing, and whats your contribution to the group Frank ?

My contribution on this message is to try to keep the group focused on
woodworking. It has been my observation that when newsgroups get cluttered
with OT posts key contributors go away, and I don't want them to go away.

When you post something like the above there is a good chance that a
Democratic will feel the need to respond and say something negative about
our current President, next we get a response to the responce.

There are plenty of groups dedicated to political discussions/jokes. Why
not post your message there?

mh

"mike hide"

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

16/04/2006 1:24 AM


"Dave Balderstone" <dave@N_O_T_T_H_I_Sbalderstone.ca> wrote in message
news:150420061858342270%dave@N_O_T_T_H_I_Sbalderstone.ca...
> In article <[email protected]>, Frank
> Drackman <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> What does this have to do with woodworking?
>
> A bar is made of wood.
>
> And, the joke makes fun of Democrats/Liberals, so it's cool with me.

Just think Frank your comment got more response than the joke. I guess I am
a conservative and I think Republicans are Slightly more so than Democrats.

However, I did think the pig joke was just as good as mine, can't you see
that marine saying "good trade sir"

Pp

Puckdropper

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

16/04/2006 4:09 AM

"Mike Marlow" <[email protected]> wrote in news:54666$44418c73
[email protected]:

*snip*

>>
>
> Plans for the martini or the pointy stick?
>

I've got an idea of how to make the pointy stick, but I'll need a new
tool to do so. ;-)

Puckdropper
--
www.uncreativelabs.net

Old computers are getting to be a lost art. Here at Uncreative Labs, we
still enjoy using the old computers. Sometimes we want to see how far a
particular system can go, other times we use a stock system to remind
ourselves of what we once had.

To email me directly, send a message to puckdropper (at) fastmail.fm

MM

"Mike Marlow"

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

15/04/2006 8:13 PM


"Jim Northey" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:VCf0g.25887$7a.22230@pd7tw1no...
>
> "Mike Marlow" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> >
> > "Frank Drackman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> > news:[email protected]...
> >>
> >> "mike hide" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> >> news:[email protected]...
> >> > .A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot
bartender.
> >> >>>>
> >>
> >> What does this have to do with woodworking?
> >>
> >>
> >
> > It was a mahogany bar.
> >
> > --
> >
> > -Mike-
> > [email protected]
> >
> >
> If the drink was a martini the olive would of been impaled on a pointy
> stick. Would you like plans for that? :-)
>
>

Plans for the martini or the pointy stick?

--

-Mike-
[email protected]

MM

"Mike Marlow"

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

16/04/2006 7:45 AM


"Puckdropper" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> "Mike Marlow" <[email protected]> wrote in news:54666$44418c73
> [email protected]:
>
> *snip*
>
> >>
> >
> > Plans for the martini or the pointy stick?
> >
>
> I've got an idea of how to make the pointy stick, but I'll need a new
> tool to do so. ;-)
>

Indeed. Now that was a perfect "guy" sorta answer.

--

-Mike-
[email protected]

LH

Lew Hodgett

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

15/04/2006 9:15 PM

Frank Drackman wrote:

> What does this have to do with woodworking?

Take your meds and go back to sleep.

Lew

BM

"Buddy Matlosz"

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

15/04/2006 8:31 PM


"Frank Drackman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "mike hide" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> >
> > "Frank Drackman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> > news:[email protected]...
> >>
> >> "mike hide" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> >> news:[email protected]...
> >>> .A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.
> >>>>>>
> >>
> >> What does this have to do with woodworking?
> > Absolutely nothing, and whats your contribution to the group Frank ?
>
> My contribution on this message is to try to keep the group focused on
> woodworking. It has been my observation that when newsgroups get
cluttered
> with OT posts key contributors go away, and I don't want them to go away.
>
> When you post something like the above there is a good chance that a
> Democratic will feel the need to respond and say something negative about
> our current President, next we get a response to the responce.
>
> There are plenty of groups dedicated to political discussions/jokes. Why
> not post your message there?
>
First day on usenet, Frank?

B.

s@

"stoutman" <.@.>

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

16/04/2006 2:06 AM



> with OT posts key contributors go away, and I don't want them to go away.

Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere Frank!

And if it makes you feel any better, the 'bar' is made of wood.

Ja

"John \(aka wheelzuk\)"

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

17/04/2006 2:36 AM

Perhaps the robots questions were a little wooden too? hmmm.... a robot? =
maybe the conversations were a little tinny? heck!, ... I'd better =
cross post to rec.metalworking! ;-))

John
--=20
Remove 'spamfree' to reply

mh

"mike hide"

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

15/04/2006 3:55 PM


"Frank Drackman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "mike hide" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> .A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.
>>>>>
>
> What does this have to do with woodworking?
Absolutely nothing, and whats your contribution to the group Frank ?

FD

"Frank Drackman"

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

15/04/2006 12:44 PM


"mike hide" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> .A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.
>>>>

What does this have to do with woodworking?

MD

"Morris Dovey"

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

15/04/2006 4:43 PM

Frank Drackman (in [email protected]) said:

| My contribution on this message is to try to keep the group focused
| on woodworking. It has been my observation that when newsgroups
| get cluttered with OT posts key contributors go away, and I don't
| want them to go away.

That does, indeed, sometimes happen. Mike has been one of the key
contributors that you're not wanting to go away...

| When you post something like the above there is a good chance that a
| Democratic will feel the need to respond and say something negative
| about our current President, next we get a response to the responce.

Well, there is that ... and it /does/ seem unlikely that anyone will
jump in to say something _positive_ about any of the current staff of
the executive branch. ;-)

At the moment, tho, it would appear that the majority of posts in this
thread consists of your posts and the responses to your posts
discussing topicality...

| There are plenty of groups dedicated to political
| discussions/jokes. Why not post your message there?

Hmm. I would suggest that perhaps you're linking politics and humor
more closely than need be...

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto

Cs

"CW"

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

16/04/2006 12:26 AM

No need for that. I'm a republican and I have plenty of bad things to say
about Bush.

"Frank Drackman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> When you post something like the above there is a good chance that a
> Democratic will feel the need to respond and say something negative about
> our current President,

ER

Enoch Root

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

15/04/2006 5:49 PM

CW wrote:
> No need for that. I'm a republican and I have plenty of bad things to say
> about Bush.
>
> "Frank Drackman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>
>>When you post something like the above there is a good chance that a
>>Democratic will feel the need to respond and say something negative about
>>our current President,

Thank you for saying that. Gives me hope that everybody isn't just
rooting for a "team".

The blue, the green, the red, and the white--some times I feel we're
reliving the lives and times of the romans, and it's enough that we have
bread and games to distract us from what they're doing to us.

er
--
email not valid

JN

"Jim Northey"

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

15/04/2006 11:48 PM


"Mike Marlow" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "Frank Drackman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>>
>> "mike hide" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>> news:[email protected]...
>> > .A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.
>> >>>>
>>
>> What does this have to do with woodworking?
>>
>>
>
> It was a mahogany bar.
>
> --
>
> -Mike-
> [email protected]
>
>
If the drink was a martini the olive would of been impaled on a pointy
stick. Would you like plans for that? :-)

MM

"Mike Marlow"

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

15/04/2006 6:03 PM


"Frank Drackman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "mike hide" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> > .A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.
> >>>>
>
> What does this have to do with woodworking?
>
>

It was a mahogany bar.

--

-Mike-
[email protected]

GM

George Max

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

16/04/2006 3:09 AM

On Sat, 15 Apr 2006 17:49:25 -0700, Enoch Root <[email protected]>
wrote:

>some times I feel we're
>reliving the lives and times of the romans, and it's enough that we have
>bread and games to distract us from what they're doing to us.
>
>er

amen

Lr

"Leon"

in reply to "mike hide" on 15/04/2006 9:30 AM

15/04/2006 1:36 PM

Gooden

"mike hide" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> .A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender.
>>>>
>>>> The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him,
>>>> "What's your IQ?"
>>>>
>>>> The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to make conversation about
>>>
>>>> global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biomimicry,
>>>> environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nanotechnology, and
>>>> sexual proclivities.
>>>>
>>>> The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool." He
>>>> decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and
>>>> comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the
>>> perfectly
>>>> prepared drink and asks him, "What's your IQ?"
>>>>
>>>> The man responds, "about a 100."
>>>>
>>>> Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football,
>>>> NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, favorite fast foods, guns, and women's
>>> body
>>>> parts.
>>>>
>>>> Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot
>>> one
>>>> more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and asks,
>>>> "What's your IQ?"
>>>>
>>>> The man replies, "Er, 50, I think."
>>>>
>>>> And the robot says... real slowly,
>>>>
>>>> "So... is... your... party... gonna... nominate... Hillary... for...
>>>> president ???
>>>>
>
>


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