... popped into my head as I was working on a complicated glue up this
morning:
"You don't have time for cheap clamps!"
Ran out of Bessey's and was working through the Sears/Harbor Freight/Big Lot
accumulations.
Astutely noticed, as the glue was setting up, that it took longer to fiddle
with these than it did the Besseys and Jorgies.
Nice thing was - my wife was there and it was her project.
She too said "yeah, you need to dump those and get new ones!"
Now I know: I don't have time for cheap clamps.
In article <[email protected]>, Larry Fox
<[email protected]> wrote:
> > Nice thing was - my wife was there and it was her project.
> > She too said "yeah, you need to dump those and get new ones!"
>
> I have been trying that same "ploy" with my SWMBO to get my hands on a
> new stationary planer. She came down the other day just in time to
> see me in mid-process of flatening some stock for her project with a
> hand plane (timed perfectly thought I). Dialog went something like
> this;
>
> Her: wow, that looks like work. Isn't there a machine that you could
> get to do that drudgery.
>
> Me: Why yes, yes there is - it is called a stationary planer.
>
> Her: Well, you should get one then (She was hooked, thought I)
>
> Me: I agree
>
> Her: How much do they cost
>
> Me: Average about $1000 for a good one.
>
> Her: WOW -- well, just look on the bright side and be thankful that
> hand planing appears to be good exercise.
>
> And so ended the conversation and the hand planing continues.
Amateurs!
You always have to add something about personal safety when selling a
tool to SWMBO!
e.g., to bring the above to the desired end:
Her:How much do they cost?
Me: Well, I could get by with $250-$300, but they spew out a lot of
dust compared to the better ones (cough, cough...). Also, the cheaper
ones are a little underpowered and there is nothing more dangerous than
an under powered tool (I like that one).
She: Well, if your going to get one, get a safe one.
Me: Thanks Hon (cough...)
----------
I know, I know it's deception, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta
do.
Oops! Gotta go - here she comes now........
:-)
Lou
"loutent" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:081120041431513668%[email protected]...
> Amateurs!
>
> You always have to add something about personal safety when selling a
> tool to SWMBO!
Amateurs!
You should always use language they understand:
Her: "How much do they cost?"
You: "I saw a couple with 'On Sale' tags on them!"
<wait about 5 seconds then add..."
"Let's go look at them, and on the way there, we'll hit your favorite XYZ
store. Then if there's time on the way back, we can stop for dinner."
On Mon, 08 Nov 2004 02:01:05 GMT, "patrick conroy"
<[email protected]> wrote:
>... popped into my head as I was working on a complicated glue up this
>morning:
>
>"You don't have time for cheap clamps!"
>
>Ran out of Bessey's and was working through the Sears/Harbor Freight/Big Lot
>accumulations.
>Astutely noticed, as the glue was setting up, that it took longer to fiddle
>with these than it did the Besseys and Jorgies.
>
>Nice thing was - my wife was there and it was her project.
>She too said "yeah, you need to dump those and get new ones!"
>
>Now I know: I don't have time for cheap clamps.
>
Even better than that, before you grab the glue bottle recall the
Scout motto, "Be Prepared."
On 8 Nov 2004 10:27:10 -0800, [email protected] (Larry Fox) calmly
ranted:
>> Nice thing was - my wife was there and it was her project.
>> She too said "yeah, you need to dump those and get new ones!"
>
>I have been trying that same "ploy" with my SWMBO to get my hands on a
>new stationary planer. She came down the other day just in time to
>see me in mid-process of flatening some stock for her project with a
>hand plane (timed perfectly thought I). Dialog went something like
>this;
-snip-
>Me: Average about $1000 for a good one.
>
>Her: WOW -- well, just look on the bright side and be thankful that
>hand planing appears to be good exercise.
>
>And so ended the conversation and the hand planing continues.
Perhaps, but now she's primed for the "Honey, I found a used planer
for only $300. Shall I go pick it up?" line. Keep watching the
classified ads, eh? You might also "accidentally" leave ads for
$300 planes lying around where she can see them, but you might
risk her buying one for you.
I called about the $40 4" planer in the paper about a month
ago and it was already gone.
--
The State always moves slowly and grudgingly towards any purpose that
accrues to society's advantage, but moves rapidly and with alacrity
towards one that accrues to its own advantage; nor does it ever move
towards social purposes on its own initiative, but only under heavy
pressure, while its motion towards anti-social purposes is self-sprung.
- Albert Jay Nock
- http://diversify.com Web Programming for curmudgeons and others. -
Thank to all you guys for the FUNNIEST stuff on any REC I have ever
read. LOL. ... LOL
I have copied all the comments and I will memorize them verbatum and
use them when I try to talk to my wife about spending money on a nice
new 14" BS.
I will let you know how this goes. I would probably add chocolat to
the conversation somewhere.
brandt
> > ... popped into my head as I was working on a complicated glue up this
> > morning:
> >
> > "You don't have time for cheap clamps!"
oh, boy, you don't know how true it is...
I was glueing up some boards this very morning. By the time I finished
aligning and setting the clamps, the squeezout was sooo hard to wipe
off.
I'm definitely heading off to buy some quality clamps this week, just
have to find a good excuse to mislead my SWMBO. Do you feel guilty too
when stealing your own money?
Marton
[email protected] (Larry Fox) wrote in
news:[email protected]:
<snip>
> Her: How much do they cost
>
> Me: Average about $1000 for a good one.
>
> Her: WOW -- well, just look on the bright side and be thankful that
> hand planing appears to be good exercise.
>
> And so ended the conversation and the hand planing continues.
You could show her the $475 LN #7 Jointer, and indicate, truthfully, that
it only does part of the job....
Patriarch,
who only has room for an 100 year old, patinated Stanley #8. Thanks,
Patrick!
> Nice thing was - my wife was there and it was her project.
> She too said "yeah, you need to dump those and get new ones!"
I have been trying that same "ploy" with my SWMBO to get my hands on a
new stationary planer. She came down the other day just in time to
see me in mid-process of flatening some stock for her project with a
hand plane (timed perfectly thought I). Dialog went something like
this;
Her: wow, that looks like work. Isn't there a machine that you could
get to do that drudgery.
Me: Why yes, yes there is - it is called a stationary planer.
Her: Well, you should get one then (She was hooked, thought I)
Me: I agree
Her: How much do they cost
Me: Average about $1000 for a good one.
Her: WOW -- well, just look on the bright side and be thankful that
hand planing appears to be good exercise.
And so ended the conversation and the hand planing continues.
On Tue, 09 Nov 2004 02:59:08 GMT, "patrick conroy" calmly ranted:
>... popped into my head as I was working on a complicated glue up this
>morning:
>
>"You don't have time for cheap clamps!"
>
>Ran out of Bessey's and was working through the Sears/Harbor Freight/Big Lot
>accumulations.
>Astutely noticed, as the glue was setting up, that it took longer to fiddle
>with these than it did the Besseys and Jorgies.
>
>Nice thing was - my wife was there and it was her project.
>She too said "yeah, you need to dump those and get new ones!"
I think I'll try warming the glue the next time to see if it
stays liquid longer. And for large glueups (like when I tackle
the entertainment center), I'll try some of the Gorilla Glue
everyone's talking about. If it's good enough for David Marks...
>Now I know: I don't have time for cheap clamps.
I'll recycle them for you. Ship them to me, Patrick.
I'll even pay shipping. (Send all but the Crapsmans.)
Got my address? ;)
--
Remember: Every silver lining has a cloud.
----
http://diversify.com Comprehensive Website Development
On 8 Nov 2004 01:20:34 -0800, [email protected] (Marton Czebe)
wrote:
>> > ... popped into my head as I was working on a complicated glue up this
>> > morning:
>> >
>> > "You don't have time for cheap clamps!"
>
>oh, boy, you don't know how true it is...
>I was glueing up some boards this very morning. By the time I finished
>aligning and setting the clamps, the squeezout was sooo hard to wipe
>off.
>
>I'm definitely heading off to buy some quality clamps this week, just
>have to find a good excuse to mislead my SWMBO. Do you feel guilty too
>when stealing your own money?
>
>Marton
damn, that's a great way to summarize that "I should do it but hate to
spend the money, even though I can afford it" feeling...
I have trouble spending it even when she hears me cussing and suggests
better or more stuff..
"patrick conroy" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> ... popped into my head as I was working on a complicated glue up this
> morning:
>
> "You don't have time for cheap clamps!"
>
> Ran out of Bessey's and was working through the Sears/Harbor Freight/Big
> Lot accumulations.
> Astutely noticed, as the glue was setting up, that it took longer to
> fiddle with these than it did the Besseys and Jorgies.
>
> Nice thing was - my wife was there and it was her project.
> She too said "yeah, you need to dump those and get new ones!"
>
> Now I know: I don't have time for cheap clamps.
>
This sounds like one of two things.
1. A TV commercial. You know the ones. The white male (or sometimes a
female) is so totally inept using a product but everything will be just
wonderful if you buy this new product. (They make me wonder why they are
marketing their products to people that belong in the Darwin awards, but
what the heck).
2. A very carefully crafted display for SWMBO devised to make her think it
was HER idea to go get the good clamps.
I like #2. Good show.
Wayne
On Mon, 08 Nov 2004 02:01:05 GMT, "patrick conroy"
<[email protected]> wrote:
>... popped into my head as I was working on a complicated glue up this
>morning:
>
>"You don't have time for cheap clamps!"
>
>Ran out of Bessey's and was working through the Sears/Harbor Freight/Big Lot
>accumulations.
>Astutely noticed, as the glue was setting up, that it took longer to fiddle
>with these than it did the Besseys and Jorgies.
>
>Nice thing was - my wife was there and it was her project.
>She too said "yeah, you need to dump those and get new ones!"
>
>Now I know: I don't have time for cheap clamps.
Or:
Life is too short for cheap clamps.
- -
LRod
Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite
Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999
http://www.woodbutcher.net