LH

"Lew Hodgett"

24/05/2009 2:57 AM

O/T: Perks of Reaching 50 and Beyond

From some one who should know.

Enjoy

Lew

====================================
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter
who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15 . Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay
off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't
remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!

And Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.



This topic has 12 replies

LH

"Lew Hodgett"

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/05/2009 2:57 AM

25/10/2009 7:50 AM


"Larry Jaques" wrote:

> Where'd he find #3? My next vacation is THERE!

He didn't tell and I forgot to ask.

Lew


jj

jo4hn

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/05/2009 2:57 AM

24/05/2009 8:50 PM

scritch wrote:
>
> And now that I'm turning 55 in a few days, my wife finally has let me
> buy that goddam motorcycle that I've been missing for the last 30 years.
>
> Whoooooeeee!
>
>
>
>
Ah yes, the three M's of mid-life: mustache, motorcycle, and mistress.
Always felt cheated that all I could muster was the mustache.
grumble,
jo4hn

Uu

"Upscale"

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/05/2009 2:57 AM

25/05/2009 5:53 AM


"Stuart" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> scritch <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > And now that I'm turning 55 in a few days, my wife finally has let me
> > buy that goddam motorcycle that I've been missing for the last 30 years.
>
> Probably hoping you'll kill yourself so she can get someone younger!

Might be prudent for him to check if his life insurance as been increased
recently.

SS

Stuart

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/05/2009 2:57 AM

25/05/2009 9:40 AM

In article <[email protected]>,
scritch <[email protected]> wrote:

> And now that I'm turning 55 in a few days, my wife finally has let me
> buy that goddam motorcycle that I've been missing for the last 30 years.

> Whoooooeeee!

Probably hoping you'll kill yourself so she can get someone younger!

Ll

"LD"

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/05/2009 2:57 AM

24/05/2009 3:18 AM

"Lew Hodgett" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> From some one who should know.
>
> Enjoy
>
> Lew
>
> ====================================
> Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
>
>
> 03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

Sometimes they are amazed I can walk to the mailbox.

>
> 04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

And 9 am ...

>
> 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter
> who walks into the room.

Well, not always ....

>
> 13. You sing along with elevator music.

Out of tune and hum the bits you can't remember ...
.
>
> 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national
> weather service.

And have been for a decade or two ...

>
> 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember
> them either.

Or they're dead ... :(

>
> 18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

Is five manageable?

>
> 19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

What list?

AS

"Alan Squires"

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/05/2009 2:57 AM

26/05/2009 8:27 PM

Passed my bike test at the glorious age of 59, just a few weeks after her in
doors passed hers.

We are founder members of The Old Fa*ts Motor Bike Club. We take trips out
with stupid big grins on our faces and when we get back we try to remember
where we've been and who we are.

Great fun

Hope you enjoy your biking as much as we do.

PS Her indoors has just told me she's not a member of the OFMBC. Now I don't
know who I go riding with!!
--
Alan
Retired
...so yes I do have all day!
"scritch" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> And now that I'm turning 55 in a few days, my wife finally has let me buy
> that goddam motorcycle that I've been missing for the last 30 years.
>
> Whoooooeeee!
>
>
>
>

LH

"Lew Hodgett"

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/05/2009 2:57 AM

25/05/2009 4:04 AM

"jo4hn" wrote:

> Ah yes, the three M's of mid-life: mustache, motorcycle, and
> mistress. Always felt cheated that all I could muster was the
> mustache.
> grumble,

Way back when I was about 20, my fraternity brother would ponder the
some of the things he wanted to do before he died:

1) Hunt Kodiak bear.
2) Lay on the beach under the shade of a palm tree on some South
Pacific island and sip cold drinks served by scantly clad girls.
3)Run barefooted over an endless field of naked women's breasts.
4) Perform cunninglus.

Last time I asked, he still hadn't hunted Kodiak bear yet.


Lew

LB

Larry Blanchard

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/05/2009 2:57 AM

25/05/2009 10:44 AM

On Sun, 24 May 2009 20:22:18 -0700, scritch wrote:

> And now that I'm turning 55 in a few days, my wife finally has let me
> buy that goddam motorcycle that I've been missing for the last 30 years.
>
> Whoooooeeee!

I've got mine trained. She only complains when I have more than 1
motorcycle at a time :-).

--
Intelligence is an experiment that failed - G. B. Shaw

LJ

Larry Jaques

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/05/2009 2:57 AM

25/10/2009 4:43 AM

On Mon, 25 May 2009 04:04:07 GMT, the infamous "Lew Hodgett"
<[email protected]> scrawled the following:

>"jo4hn" wrote:
>
>> Ah yes, the three M's of mid-life: mustache, motorcycle, and
>> mistress. Always felt cheated that all I could muster was the
>> mustache.
>> grumble,
>
>Way back when I was about 20, my fraternity brother would ponder the
>some of the things he wanted to do before he died:
>
>1) Hunt Kodiak bear.
>2) Lay on the beach under the shade of a palm tree on some South
>Pacific island and sip cold drinks served by scantly clad girls.
>3)Run barefooted over an endless field of naked women's breasts.
>4) Perform cunninglus.
>
>Last time I asked, he still hadn't hunted Kodiak bear yet.

Where'd he find #3? My next vacation is THERE!

LJ, who turned 56 in August.

--
The only reason I would take up exercising is
so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

sg

scritch

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/05/2009 2:57 AM

24/05/2009 8:22 PM


And now that I'm turning 55 in a few days, my wife finally has let me
buy that goddam motorcycle that I've been missing for the last 30 years.

Whoooooeeee!



Nw

Noons

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/05/2009 2:57 AM

26/05/2009 7:43 AM

Larry Blanchard wrote,on my timestamp of 26/05/2009 1:44 AM:
> On Sun, 24 May 2009 20:22:18 -0700, scritch wrote:
>
>> And now that I'm turning 55 in a few days, my wife finally has let me
>> buy that goddam motorcycle that I've been missing for the last 30 years.
>>
>> Whoooooeeee!
>
> I've got mine trained. She only complains when I have more than 1
> motorcycle at a time :-).
>


You lucky sod!
:B)

LJ

Larry Jaques

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/05/2009 2:57 AM

02/11/2009 7:51 AM

On Sun, 25 Oct 2009 07:50:10 -0700, the infamous "Lew Hodgett"
<[email protected]> scrawled the following:

>
>"Larry Jaques" wrote:
>
>> Where'd he find #3? My next vacation is THERE!
>
>He didn't tell and I forgot to ask.

Acid trip in Thailand during 'Nam?

---
Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight
very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands.
It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.
--John Wayne (1907 - 1979)


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