How to build Noah's ark ???

"leonard" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> go to your local rabbi and convert to Judaism before its to late for your
> soul.
>
>Moses was Jewish

Dave



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Lew Hodgett wrote:
> Eliot Coweye wrote:
>
> >
> > I have only 6 months before the divine punishment will begin.
>
>
> You are fucked.
>
> Lew Good job, Lew. You were the only one to trim the Anagram Troll's "scorecard newsgroup"! Tom

Eliot Coweye ate something that disagreed with him and hurled the
following:
> Yesterday, GOD told me that HE will punish the many sinners on Earth
> again and that I have been chosen to build the Second Ark and collect
> pairs of all animals and some humans who believe in GOD.
>
> I have only 6 months before the divine punishment will begin.
>
> But I'm not very skilled at woodworking.What do I need to build the
> Second Ark ?
>
> Please help.

Easy. Gopher wood, about 11,000,000 bf. Pitch - figure 75,000 gallons
for two coats, in and out. You can thin the first coat and 'wipe-on',
but the second coat should be brushed. You'll need 3 sons, preferably
the extra-husky variety. Hand tools are de rigeur, of course. You'll
also need 100 years to build this sucker. IF you should live so long
and actually finish the job, God said HE would bring the animals.
Don't forget several extra packs of playing cards as the elephants are
fond of sitting on the "deck".

I'm still awake trying to figure out the anagram. Word puzzles were
never my forte, and boy Did/do I suck at English. Pretty pathetic too,
no? Tom

D'oh! I broke my own damn rule, again! Tom

I hope for you that you're telling us the truth, because GOD still owns
the COPYRIGHT of the ark and he won't accept copyright violations,
that's for sure.

So please don't build a "pirate ark" or it's a divine lawsuit for you
and you'll probably sentenced to all eternity in HELL.

Tristan Beeline wrote:
> I hope for you that you're telling us the truth, because GOD still owns
> the COPYRIGHT of the ark and he won't accept copyright violations,
> that's for sure.
>
> So please don't build a "pirate ark" or it's a divine lawsuit for you
> and you'll probably sentenced to all eternity in HELL.

So the mighty anagram troll is cheating!!! Answering his own messages
in his score newsgroup!!!

the distance from your knuckle on the middle finger to the elbow is a cubit


"Lee Gordon" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> What's a cubit?
>
> --
> To e-mail, replace "bucketofspam" with "dleegordon"
>
> _________________________________
> Lee Gordon
> http://www.leegordonproductions.com
>

Wed, Nov 16, 2005, 5:49pm (EST-3) [email protected]
(Eliot=A0Coweye) did burble:
<snip>
I have only 6 months before the divine punishment will begin.
But I'm not very skilled at woodworking.What do I need to build the
Second Ark ?

Punishment is divine? You're a sick puppy, and need help..

The word is, Noah got boatbuilding directions, from God. If God
didn't see fit to give you any boatbuilding directions, looks like
you're being screwed with. And screwed.

The Woodworking Gods tell me I've got nothing to worry about.



JOAT
Just pretend I'm not here. That's what I'm doing.

go to your local rabbi and convert to Judaism before its to late for your
soul.

I can e-mail you some ark building wood once you paypal me!


"Eliot Coweye" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Yesterday, GOD told me that HE will punish the many sinners on Earth
> again and that I have been chosen to build the Second Ark and collect
> pairs of all animals and some humans who believe in GOD.
>
> I have only 6 months before the divine punishment will begin.
>
> But I'm not very skilled at woodworking.What do I need to build the
> Second Ark ?
>
> Please help.
>

Eliot Coweye wrote:

>
> I have only 6 months before the divine punishment will begin.


You are fucked.

Lew

This goof ball seems to hit a lot of newsgroups.

http://groups.google.com/groups?q=%22Eliot+Coweye%22&hl=en

On 11/16/2005 9:47 PM TeamCasa mumbled something about the following:
> "leonard" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>
>>go to your local rabbi and convert to Judaism before its to late for your
>>soul.
>>
>Moses was Jewish
>
>
> Dave

Point, the ark was by Noah, not Moses.

--
Odinn
RCOS #7 SENS BS ???

"The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never
worshiped anything but himself." -- Sir Richard Francis Burton

Reeky's unofficial homepage ... http://www.reeky.org
'03 FLHTI ........... http://www.sloanclan.org/gallery/ElectraGlide
'97 VN1500D ......... http://www.sloanclan.org/gallery/VulcanClassic
Atlanta Biker Net ... http://www.atlantabiker.net
Vulcan Riders Assoc . http://www.vulcanriders.org

rot13 [email protected] to reply

Maybe you could quilt one. After all don't you think if we stop quilting
now, the whole universe will collapse?

> Not only that, Moses wasn't Jewish. He was a Levite.


Does that mean he wore jeans?

What's a cubit?

--
To e-mail, replace "bucketofspam" with "dleegordon"

_________________________________
Lee Gordon
http://www.leegordonproductions.com

In article <[email protected]>,
"Eliot Coweye" <[email protected]> wrote:

> What do I need to build the
> Second Ark ?

You need friends in high places at Halliburton. They specialize in
no-bid large contracts.

"Eliot Coweye" <[email protected]> writes:

> But I'm not very skilled at woodworking.What do I need to build the
> Second Ark ?


Get a big tree (i.e. A Sequoia)
Cut away anything that doesn't look like an Ark.


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Bill Cosby said God told Noah how to build it!!

On Thu, 17 Nov 2005 15:10:06 GMT, with neither quill nor qualm, "Jim"
<[email protected]> quickly quoth:

>
>"Eliot Coweye" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>news:[email protected]...
>> Yesterday, GOD told me that HE will punish the many sinners on Earth
>> again and that I have been chosen to build the Second Ark and collect
>> pairs of all animals and some humans who believe in GOD.
>>
>> I have only 6 months before the divine punishment will begin.
>>
>> But I'm not very skilled at woodworking.What do I need to build the
>> Second Ark ?
>>
>> Please help.
>>
>Find Noah. Get his plans. Get to work.

I believe the full plans are spoken on Bill Cosby's album.
Check here, Eliot:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000002KA3/102-0554864-4657760?v=glance&n=5174&v=glance

--
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Ban SUVs today! -|- Full Service Websites

In article <[email protected]>,
Odinn <[email protected]> wrote:

> >>go to your local rabbi and convert to Judaism before its to late for your
> >>soul.
> >>
> >Moses was Jewish
> >
> >
> > Dave
>
> Point, the ark was by Noah, not Moses.
>

Not only that, Moses wasn't Jewish. He was a Levite.

--
Hank Gillette


Reasonable people can disagree about the conduct of the war, but it is
irresponsible for Democrats to now claim that we misled them and the American
people. -- George W. Bush

"Eliot Coweye" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Yesterday, GOD told me that HE will punish the many sinners on Earth
> again and that I have been chosen to build the Second Ark and collect
> pairs of all animals and some humans who believe in GOD.
>
> I have only 6 months before the divine punishment will begin.
>
> But I'm not very skilled at woodworking.What do I need to build the
> Second Ark ?
>
> Please help.
>
Find Noah. Get his plans. Get to work.
Jim

A Levite is one other tribes of the Jews


"Hank Gillette" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> In article <[email protected]>,
> Odinn <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> >>go to your local rabbi and convert to Judaism before its to late for
>> >>your
>> >>soul.
>> >>
>> >Moses was Jewish
>> >
>> >
>> > Dave
>>
>> Point, the ark was by Noah, not Moses.
>>
>
> Not only that, Moses wasn't Jewish. He was a Levite.
>
> --
> Hank Gillette
>
>
> Reasonable people can disagree about the conduct of the war, but it is
> irresponsible for Democrats to now claim that we misled them and the
> American
> people. -- George W. Bush

On 11/16/2005 10:49 PM Hank Gillette mumbled something about the following:
> In article <[email protected]>,
> Odinn <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>>>>go to your local rabbi and convert to Judaism before its to late for your
>>>>soul.
>>>>
>>>
>>>Moses was Jewish
>>>
>>>
>>>Dave
>>
>>Point, the ark was by Noah, not Moses.
>>
>
>
> Not only that, Moses wasn't Jewish. He was a Levite.
>

True, I did forget that point as well.

--
Odinn
RCOS #7 SENS BS ???

"The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never
worshiped anything but himself." -- Sir Richard Francis Burton

Reeky's unofficial homepage ... http://www.reeky.org
'03 FLHTI ........... http://www.sloanclan.org/gallery/ElectraGlide
'97 VN1500D ......... http://www.sloanclan.org/gallery/VulcanClassic
Atlanta Biker Net ... http://www.atlantabiker.net
Vulcan Riders Assoc . http://www.vulcanriders.org

rot13 [email protected] to reply

On Thu, 17 Nov 2005 02:11:56 GMT, Lew Hodgett
<[email protected]> wrote:

>Eliot Coweye wrote:
>
>>
>> I have only 6 months before the divine punishment will begin.
>
>
>You are fucked.
>
>Lew

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!

skeez