A hypothetical for your ponderment.
A wooddorker finds a bit of spare space in his yard^H^H^H^H shop, and
decides to quickly erect a stout bench from the materials at hand.
Let's say the wooddorker finds some somewhat straight, and somewhat
cheap dimensional lumber at the local BORG and sets out to build a
functional bench from green douglas fir (not really a fir, but this is
common usage and I don't really have time discuss vagaries of the
various conifers for sale locally, though they are an extremely
interesting species), complete with carefully cut/milled/trimmed
square dog holes for a beefy iron bench dog.
And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.
*sigh*
DAMHIKT.
Humbly submitted,
Single-Stop O'Deen
"patrick conroy" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On 15 Oct 2004 09:32:48 -0700, [email protected] (Patrick Olguin)
> wrote:
>
>>
>>And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
>>shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.
>>
>
> What if you accelerated the dogs themselves to near the speed of
> light. Don't they fit then? I guess they get heavy, but...
Trouble is, they'll only shrink in the direction of motion, so they'll get
shorter but not slimmer. Kinda like old age.
"Patrick Olguin" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
Snip
>
> And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
> shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.
>
> *sigh*
I think the holes are going to get bigger, not shrink unless you add water
regularly. ;~) You gotta think shrink the other way.
[email protected] (Patrick Olguin) wrote in
news:[email protected]:
<snip>
> complete with carefully cut/milled/trimmed
> square dog holes for a beefy iron bench dog.
>
> And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
> shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.
http://www.sears.com/sr/javasr/product.do?BV_UseBVCookie=Yes&vertical=TOOL&
pid=00938262000&subcat=Hammers
or, more befitting your status as Galoot Emeritus Maximus,
http://www.garrettwade.com/jump.jsp?lGen=detail&itemID=104544&itemType=PROD
UCT&iMainCat=10000&iSubCat=10053&iProductID=104544
As my father taught me, "If it don't fit...."
Patriarch
[email protected] (Patrick Olguin) wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
> A hypothetical for your ponderment.
>
> A wooddorker finds a bit of spare space in his yard^H^H^H^H shop, and
> decides to quickly erect a stout bench from the materials at hand.
> Let's say the wooddorker finds some somewhat straight, and somewhat
> cheap dimensional lumber at the local BORG and sets out to build a
> functional bench from green douglas fir (not really a fir, but this is
> common usage and I don't really have time discuss vagaries of the
> various conifers for sale locally, though they are an extremely
> interesting species), complete with carefully cut/milled/trimmed
> square dog holes for a beefy iron bench dog.
>
> And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
> shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.
See what you get for working so fast? I built a similar
Bench-by-Borg(tm) and, since the lumber sat in my gar^h^hshop for
several months and through at least one episode of SantaAna weather
phenomena, they were essentially kiln-dried by glue-up time. And
SWMBO thought I was just being lazy.
> *sigh*
Just make yer dogs outta similar Borg lumber so when they're dry
they'll fit right smartly.
Cheers,
Mike
>
> DAMHIKT.
>
> Humbly submitted,
>
> Single-Stop O'Deen
On 15 Oct 2004 09:32:48 -0700, [email protected] (Patrick Olguin)
calmly ranted:
>A hypothetical for your ponderment.
>
>A wooddorker finds a bit of spare space in his yard^H^H^H^H shop, and
>decides to quickly erect a stout bench from the materials at hand.
I know a few people who have screwed themselves that way, too.
DAMHIKT. <squeak>
>Let's say the wooddorker finds some somewhat straight, and somewhat
>cheap dimensional lumber at the local BORG and sets out to build a
>functional bench from green douglas fir (not really a fir, but this is
>common usage and I don't really have time discuss vagaries of the
>various conifers for sale locally, though they are an extremely
>interesting species), complete with carefully cut/milled/trimmed
>square dog holes for a beefy iron bench dog.
Birdseye SPF? Wunnerful!
>And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
>shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.
How many times did we tell yo^H^Hcertain people that 1) ROUND DOGS
RULE! and 2) PINEYWOOD SUCKS!, hmmmmm?
>*sigh*
Condolences to the sorry suckah suffering from that tale.
>DAMHIKT.
Maybe you could mount it in your two-piece WorkMutt and...
LJ, who just finished making two replacement spacer bars for his
carving bench.(A coupla kerf-widths between tenons makes quite a
difference after all when the stiffener is in the middle of a 39"
tall leg.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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when an attractive woman enters the room. || Full Website Programming
On 15 Oct 2004 09:32:48 -0700, [email protected] (Patrick Olguin)
wrote:
>
>And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
>shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.
>
What if you accelerated the dogs themselves to near the speed of
light. Don't they fit then? I guess they get heavy, but...
Patrick Olguin did say:
> complete with carefully cut/milled/trimmed
> square dog holes for a beefy iron bench dog.
>
> And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
> shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.
Better race right out to http://www.lie-nielsen.com and get those $275
rosewood handled chisels to widen the dog holes a skosh...
--
New project = new tool. Hard and fast rule.
On 15 Oct 2004 09:32:48 -0700, [email protected] (Patrick Olguin)
wrote:
>A hypothetical for your ponderment.
>
>A wooddorker finds a bit of spare space in his yard^H^H^H^H shop, and
>decides to quickly erect a stout bench from the materials at hand.
>Let's say the wooddorker finds some somewhat straight, and somewhat
>cheap dimensional lumber at the local BORG and sets out to build a
>functional bench from green douglas fir (not really a fir, but this is
>common usage and I don't really have time discuss vagaries of the
>various conifers for sale locally, though they are an extremely
>interesting species), complete with carefully cut/milled/trimmed
>square dog holes for a beefy iron bench dog.
>
>And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
>shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.
>
>*sigh*
>
>DAMHIKT.
>
>Humbly submitted,
>
>Single-Stop O'Deen
chisel. open 'em up a bit.
"Leon" <[email protected]> writes:
> "Patrick Olguin" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> Snip
>
>
>>
>> And let's further say that as the wood seasons, the bench dog holes
>> shrink, making it impossible to use the beefy bench in the bench.
>>
>> *sigh*
>
>
> I think the holes are going to get bigger, not shrink unless you add water
> regularly. ;~) You gotta think shrink the other way.
No. The piece of wood that keeps the hole sides apart shrinks, hence
by this shrincage you hose the whole hole.
--
Dr. Juergen Hannappel http://lisa2.physik.uni-bonn.de/~hannappe
mailto:[email protected] Phone: +49 228 73 2447 FAX ... 7869
Physikalisches Institut der Uni Bonn Nussallee 12, D-53115 Bonn, Germany
CERN: Phone: +412276 76461 Fax: ..77930 Bat. 892-R-A13 CH-1211 Geneve 23