THE SPOILED UNDER 30 CROWD!!!
If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!! (Please
forgive some of the language.)
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what
with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill
BOTH ways yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in
hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard
I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that...I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but
look around and notice the youth of today.
You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a
damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've
got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet . If we wanted to
know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up
ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letterwith a
pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the
mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you hadto
hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd
usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! We didn't have
fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody
else called they got a busy signal, that's it!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your
school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a
collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and
take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like
'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You
actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple
levels or screens, it was just one screen forever!
And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder
and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium
seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad
with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15
channels and there was no on screen menu and no remote control! You had
to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You
were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass
and walkover to the TV to change the channel and there was no
Cartoon Network either! You cou ld only get cartoons on Saturday
Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?!
We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had
to use the stove or go build a frigging fire ... imagine that! Ifwe
wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it
over the stove forever like an idiot.
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too
easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back
in 1980's!