1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation
in English.
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is
named Breeze.
5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown,
and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
9. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
11. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US
13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps.
You don't even notice.
14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball
cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who
delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
17. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
18. Its barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station:
"STORM WATCH 2004."
19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Banks
himself is teaching the 4:00 pm Tae Bo class.
20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy
with their cells or pagers.
21. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour
early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
22. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????
23. Both you AND your dog have therapists.
24. The Terminator is your new governor.
--
Bob Schmall
Not one shred of evidence exists that life is serious.
Richard Feynman
"Bob Schmall" <[email protected]> writes:
>2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
This is the part that's scary. I could learn to live with the
rest of it.
Ron Bean responds:
>"Bob Schmall" <[email protected]> writes:
>
>>2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
>
>This is the part that's scary. I could learn to live with the
>rest of it.
But why would you want to?
Don't worry about the 300K and not being able to afford a house. Pretty soon,
none of us will be able to afford a house...or an apartment.
Charlie Self
"It is not strange... to mistake change for progress." Millard Fillmore
"Charlie Self"
> Don't worry about the 300K and not being able to afford a house. Pretty
soon,
> none of us will be able to afford a house...or an apartment.
Always the optimist!
Dave
----== Posted via Newsfeed.Com - Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet News==----
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On Mon, 05 Apr 2004 14:30:42 +0000, Charlie Self wrote:
> Don't worry about the 300K and not being able to afford a house. Pretty soon,
> none of us will be able to afford a house...or an apartment.
...and yet home ownership is at the highest rate since tracking began:
<http://www.danter.com/statistics/homeown.htm>
-Doug
--
"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always
depend on the support of Paul." - George Bernard Shaw
"Charlie Self" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Ron Bean responds:
>
> >"Bob Schmall" <[email protected]> writes:
> >
> >>2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
> >
> >This is the part that's scary. I could learn to live with the
> >rest of it.
>
> But why would you want to?
>
> Don't worry about the 300K and not being able to afford a house. Pretty
soon,
> none of us will be able to afford a house...or an apartment.
>
> Charlie Self
> "It is not strange... to mistake change for progress." Millard Fillmore
Speaking of which...email me with an update.
What the heck we live in the poorest state (coastal mississippi) in the USA
and the average entry level house here will soon hit the 200k mark thanks to
our wonderful casion industry and to top it off the average salary here for
non professionals is hovering around 8.50/hr again thanks to the casinos who
have begun to bring in foreign labor to bring down labor cost even lower oh
yes not to mention the mexicans who are here to grab up the construction
jobs.
Moral of the story is this whole country is going down the tubes my
friend. Go figure.
Bob Schmall wrote:
>
> 1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
>
But the Maori facial tatoos are interesting.
> 2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
>
The house I bought in '75 for $27,500, which was built
in 1954, is now appraising close to half a million. That's
a 2 BR, 1Bth on a 9000 sf lot. The 4 car detached garage
that's now my shop probably doesn't add much to the
property value but it sure is valuable to me :)
> 3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation
> in English.
>
You must be referring to San Francisco. No one any place else
in California uses the bus - or "light rail" - formerly known
as "trollies". Ironically, when "they" began putting in "light
rail transit" in our county they had to rip out the old trolley
lines
UNDER the existing roads. You see, Good Year and Standard Oil
bought up all the trolley and bus companies back in the 40s and
shut them down. They didn't use much rubber or gasoline. The
wonders of The Free Market. Now it's costing us several BILLION
dollars to put back what was already there SIXTY YEARS AGO!
> 4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is
> named Breeze.
>
As opposed to the pale blue eyed, wire rim glasses nun in the black
and white penguin suit with the HUGE ROSARY BELT accessory
AND the ever present hickory stick - and the picture on the wall
of children burning in hell?
> 5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
>
> 6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
>
You forgot the egg donor and the surrogate mother. You're way
behind on current events aren't you.
> 7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown,
> and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
>
Can't do that but I can tell the difference between glass bottled
Coca
Cola and canned or plastic 2 liter Coke.
> 8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
>
And jicima (I think that's how it's spelled)
> 9. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
>
> 10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
>
Especially when the other guy who wants that space is
pointing a big shiny 9 mm at you and giving you that
"Don't even try it!" look.
> 11. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
>
> 12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US
>
Add another quarter if you live in the San Francisco Bay Area
> 13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps.
> You don't even notice.
>
But you do give "him" your seat when you see "he" is pregnant.
Chivalry is not dead - in some parts of California
> 14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball
> cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
>
Actually, it could be our governor - The Govornator.
> 15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
>
Close but no cigar. May cost as much as the typical house
payment
in other parts of the country but not in California. (see #3
above)
> 16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who
> delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
>
The guy in drag is selling Mary Kay Cosmetics to pay for the
boob
job - step one in The Transformation.
> 17. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
>
> 18. Its barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station:
> "STORM WATCH 2004."
>
And two days later they'll start with THE CRIPPLING DROUGH OF
'04!
> 19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Banks
> himself is teaching the 4:00 pm Tae Bo class.
>
> 20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy
> with their cells or pagers.
>
Actually saw a young kid on a cruiser bicycle, peddling down
the side
of a very busy 4 lane street with a cell phone to his ear.
Cars
going by at 45 mph and he's totally obliviuous.
THEN - he gets off his bicycle and the crotch of his denims
are just
above his ankles but the wasteline is fashionably just below
his hips
so his fashionable "underwear" is properly displayed.
I think the government should make cap manufacturers put a
large
lable in the bill of all baseball caps. In LARGE Bold letters
the bill
of the hat should be clearly labeled FRONT!
> 21. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour
> early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
>
That sounds crazy but it's true. Drivers in California don't
adapt
very quickly.
I use to work on a survey crew and spent a lot of time in the
street.
The following two stories are absoulutely the truth"
True Tale # 1
We're realigning a major street to remove two sharp curves.
Picture a "Y" with the upper right arm being the part we're
adding. That parts through an orchard, the rough grade being
nearly two feet below the existing roadway. There are big
barriers with flashing lights to keep cars out of the
construction
area. The orchard is several feet above the existing roadway.
The first vehicle at the adjacent traffic signal is driven by
the construction superintendant.
The light turns green and the superintendent drives acrossed
the intersection, UP around the barricades - with the flashing
lights - DOWN into the rough grade, dodging a grader, back hoe
and a D8, UP the 25 degree embankment and parks in the orchard.
The six cars that were behind him at the traffic signal have
followe him into the construction site and don't know what to
do now that their leader has STOPPED!
True Tale # 2
The center two lanes of a four lane arterial are being
resurfaced.
The area is surrounded by 3 foot tall, Day-Glo orange cones, with
a Day-Glo orange vested, Day-Glo red flag waving worker standing
in the middle of both ends. We're in the middle, right behind
the
slurry seal spray truck, putting down lane line paint marks for
the striping machine to use later to paint the new lane lines.
Someone's yelling at me so I turn to see why. The flagman BEHIND
the car that's coming right at me is yelling "LOOK OUT!" and the
lady driving the rapidly approaching, and now out of control
car (slurry seal coat is very slippery), car just turned on her
"right turn signal", is discovering that stomping on the brakes
isn't doing anything but causing the car to slide sideways and
that frantically cranking the steering wheel left and right is
only adding to her/my problem.
I'm trying like hell to get out of her way but the lack of friction
which is causing her so much panic is doing the same for me. And
the faster I try to move the slipperier the slurry seal coat
becomes.
As her car continues it's erratic path towards me, I can see her
lips moving and I'm assuming she's praying just like I am because
we both are now "In the hands of The Lord".
By "The Grace of GOD", or maybe it was just physics, the car stops,
broadside, about a foot from me. My "life passing before me"
movie stops in mid frame.
The woman lowers her power window - she's on my side - and
starts SCREAMING - "WHAT THE #%@@&*^^^ ARE YOU DOING
STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ^&&**($#@@%^& STREET!?"
I've gained a little traction and am moving away from her as
quickly as is humanly possible, knowing there's a second act
to this soap opera drama.
Sure enough, she zips up her power window and guns it. The
spinning rear wheels burn off enough of the slurry seal coat
to get some traction and she fish tails foreward, stearing to
get back onto clean pavement. She runs over six or eight cones
along the way. Folks in the remaining travel lane that she's
heading fore are trying frantically to get out of her way cause
they know she's not going to "yield" as she "merges" into
their lane.
Once back on "safe ground" her window comes down again and
her left hand extends out of it - finger in the air! Or maybe
she was just hand signaling that she was going to turn right.
Now the really odd part of that story is that most California
drivers will jump the curb and drive on the sidewalk and/or
acrossed someone's front lawn to avoid getting water just
sparyed by a water truck in front of them from getting on
their precious automobiles. strike that, make it SUVs.
California drivers are truly different.
> 22. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????
>
> 23. Both you AND your dog have therapists.
>
No, but he probably has an HMO.
> 24. The Terminator is your new governor.
>
Well you gotta try something!
> --
> Bob Schmall
> Not one shred of evidence exists that life is serious.
> Richard Feynman
And Dick provides yet another smile as I recall a true
genious who really enjoyed life. Never met him but
I sure wish I had.
charlie b
"charlie b" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> > 2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
> >
> The house I bought in '75 for $27,500, which was built
> in 1954, is now appraising close to half a million. That's
> a 2 BR, 1Bth on a 9000 sf lot. The 4 car detached garage
> that's now my shop probably doesn't add much to the
> property value but it sure is valuable to me :)
You know, there are some very nice places here in the midwest
such that you could sell, move here, buy a bigger place and live
off the interest on the rest of that half mil.
I bet you thank prop. 13 every tax season....
"John Keeney" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "charlie b" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> > > 2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
> > >
> > The house I bought in '75 for $27,500, which was built
> > in 1954, is now appraising close to half a million.
On Tue, 06 Apr 2004 13:15:30 GMT, "Bob Schmall" <[email protected]>
brought forth from the murky depths:
>Ya know, this is a hell of a thread to have come from a little gentle
>ribbing. Anyone here from NYC?
Good luck getting someone to admit they're from the Mrs.
(oops, I meant "Senator") Clinton State.
-------------------------------------------------
- Boldly going - * Wondrous Website Design
- nowhere. - * http://www.diversify.com
-------------------------------------------------
In article <[email protected]>,
charlie b <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> 21. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour
>> early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
>>
> That sounds crazy but it's true. Drivers in California don't
>adapt
> very quickly.
>
> I use to work on a survey crew and spent a lot of time in the
>street.
> The following two stories are absoulutely the truth"
>
> True Tale # 1
>
> We're realigning a major street to remove two sharp curves.
> Picture a "Y" with the upper right arm being the part we're
> adding. That parts through an orchard, the rough grade being
> nearly two feet below the existing roadway. There are big
> barriers with flashing lights to keep cars out of the
>construction
> area. The orchard is several feet above the existing roadway.
>
> The first vehicle at the adjacent traffic signal is driven by
> the construction superintendant.
>
> The light turns green and the superintendent drives acrossed
> the intersection, UP around the barricades - with the flashing
> lights - DOWN into the rough grade, dodging a grader, back hoe
> and a D8, UP the 25 degree embankment and parks in the orchard.
>
> The six cars that were behind him at the traffic signal have
> followe him into the construction site and don't know what to
> do now that their leader has STOPPED!
>
Only *six* cars?? Must have been a slow day.
Many years ago, I saw a guy driving an AmphiCar bail out of a traffic jam,
onto a one-lane access road into the park. With a solid stream of "me too"
traffic following him. Right up to the point where he drove down the boat
ramp, and started across the Bay itself. There's like _half-a-mile_ of
cars, with _no_place_to_go_, and *no*way* to turn around. And only the
folks in first few cars have any idea 'what the problem is'. The expression
on the face of the driver of the first car behind the AmphiCar was absolutely
priceless.
No, I _wasn't_ in the AmphiCar, ... nor in any of the other cars, either.
Just in innocent pedestrian in the park, at the 'right time'. <grin>
Ya know, this is a hell of a thread to have come from a little gentle
ribbing. Anyone here from NYC?
Bob
"Bob Schmall" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:mKccc.44742$z%[email protected]...
> 1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
>
> 2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
>
> 3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation
> in English.
>
> 4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is
> named Breeze.
>
> 5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
>
> 6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
>
> 7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown,
> and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
>
> 8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
>
> 9. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
>
> 10. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
>
> 11. A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
>
> 12. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US
>
> 13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps.
> You don't even notice.
>
> 14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball
> cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
>
> 15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
>
> 16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who
> delivers your mail is into S & M, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
>
> 17. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
>
> 18. Its barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station:
> "STORM WATCH 2004."
>
> 19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Banks
> himself is teaching the 4:00 pm Tae Bo class.
>
> 20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy
> with their cells or pagers.
>
> 21. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour
> early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
>
> 22. Hey!!!! Is Pot Illegal????
>
> 23. Both you AND your dog have therapists.
>
> 24. The Terminator is your new governor.
>
>
> --
> Bob Schmall
> Not one shred of evidence exists that life is serious.
> Richard Feynman
>
>
Bob Schmall asks:
>Ya know, this is a hell of a thread to have come from a little gentle
>ribbing. Anyone here from NYC?
More or less, but not quite. Born in Yonkers. Raised in and around the city.
Did my later teenage years in what I class as a major area of social sepsis,
Westchester County.
Charlie Self
"It is not strange... to mistake change for progress." Millard Fillmore
"Larry Jaques" <novalidaddress@di\/ersify.com> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On Tue, 06 Apr 2004 13:15:30 GMT, "Bob Schmall" <[email protected]>
> brought forth from the murky depths:
>
> >Ya know, this is a hell of a thread to have come from a little gentle
> >ribbing. Anyone here from NYC?
>
> Good luck getting someone to admit they're from the Mrs.
> (oops, I meant "Senator") Clinton State.
Now jest a cotton-pickin' minute there "C-less"!!!!!!! Us real people can't
help what those a**holes who toady to the Dem. Party down there in the
"Rotten Apple" do!(Including all those women who think she is just the
*greatest* and *smartest* woman in history. Makes me gag.)
So there!
--
Nahmie
"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming, 'WOW! What A
Ride!'"
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.639 / Virus Database: 408 - Release Date: 3/22/2004
"John Keeney" writes:
> You know, there are some very nice places here in the midwest
> such that you could sell, move here, buy a bigger place and live
> off the interest on the rest of that half mil.
That works well as long as you don't have to live in the MidWest from Labor
Day till Memorial Day.
Lew
(A MidWesterner who escaped to SoCal and will NEVER go back)
Lew Hodgett responds:
>> You know, there are some very nice places here in the midwest
>> such that you could sell, move here, buy a bigger place and live
>> off the interest on the rest of that half mil.
>
>That works well as long as you don't have to live in the MidWest from Labor
>Day till Memorial Day.
Huh? Unless you're in the UP, most of it isn't bad. Snow is snow. I actually
used to like the stuff (not enough to slide on boards, though) when I lived in
NY. Go to Glens Falls to watch motorcycle ice races. Always a blast, check
around Albany for motorcyclists who might be helping hold such events. Flat
racing on ice is a real thrill.
Charlie Self
"It is not strange... to mistake change for progress." Millard Fillmore
"Charlie Self" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Lew Hodgett responds:
>
> >> You know, there are some very nice places here in the midwest
> >> such that you could sell, move here, buy a bigger place and live
> >> off the interest on the rest of that half mil.
> >
> >That works well as long as you don't have to live in the MidWest from
Labor
> >Day till Memorial Day.
>
> Huh? Unless you're in the UP, most of it isn't bad. Snow is snow. I
actually
> used to like the stuff (not enough to slide on boards, though) when I
lived in
> NY. Go to Glens Falls to watch motorcycle ice races. Always a blast, check
> around Albany for motorcyclists who might be helping hold such events.
Flat
> racing on ice is a real thrill.
>
> Charlie Self
My sports car club held ice trials on frozen lakes and of course tested the
ice with auger holes to be sure that we had at least 6 inches. One year
another club forgot to test and a Lincoln disappeared. I bought a new BMW
one year ('74) on Friday and raced it on Sunday. Took a second, as I recall.
The sexiest cars were the prepped ice racers with cold boxes over the carbs
and studded tires. They put up a cool rooster tail of shavings.
Bob
> "It is not strange... to mistake change for progress." Millard Fillmore
Bob Schmall responds:
>one year ('74) on Friday and raced it on Sunday. Took a second, as I recall.
>The sexiest cars were the prepped ice racers with cold boxes over the carbs
>and studded tires. They put up a cool rooster tail of shavings.
Studs are de rigeur with motorcycles. Otherwise it's ass racing instead of ice
racing.
Actually, there were 2 naked tire classes, and a couple classes for the
European pattern stuff with spikes and guards. Guards or no, I wouldn't have
gotten in front of one of those suckers!
Charlie Self
"It is not strange... to mistake change for progress." Millard Fillmore
"Charlie Self" writes:
> Huh? Unless you're in the UP, most of it isn't bad. Snow is snow.
<snip>
Have been "snowed in" in some of the damnest places within 1,000 miles of
Cleveland during the years I traveled.
These days, when I want to see snow, I open up the front door, look out at
the mountain top less than 50 miles away, and see snow on top of the
mountain, all the while enjoying the sunshine and 70 degree temps where I'm
standing.
--
Lew
S/A: Challenge, The Bullet Proof Boat, (Under Construction in the Southland)
Visit: <http://home.earthlink.net/~lewhodgett> for Pictures
On Mon, 05 Apr 2004 13:40:12 -0000, [email protected] (Ron Bean)
wrote:
>
>"Bob Schmall" <[email protected]> writes:
>
>>2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
>
>This is the part that's scary. I could learn to live with the
>rest of it.
>
The only upside is leaving an expensive area after you've lived there
most of your life. A few years back, some of my wife's relatives
retired extremely early and sold a paid for $450,000 home in LA to
move to Hot Springs, AR. They were able to buy a beautiful home on a
lake, and a restaurant, leaving plenty of cash left.
Barry