Breaking news: Condoleeza Rice leaves administration to mediate Cabinet Master clamp jihad

On Thu, 30 Oct 2003 19:22:42 GMT, "Swingman" <[email protected]> wrote:

>Latest "on-the-séance" report from Geraldo is that's definitely NOT
>Condoleeza Rice, but Sally Struthers in blackface.

Damn!

Up until now I was pretty convinced that Sally Struthers was Al
Sharpton in whiteface.

I think I heard that on Art Bell.

Maybe on O'Reilly.


Regards, Tom
Thomas J. Watson-Cabinetmaker
Gulph Mills, Pennsylvania
http://users.snip.net/~tjwatson

Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 5:56pm (EST+5) [email protected]
(Scott=A0Cramer) says something:
<snipped>

And people have plonked me, because they think my posts waste
bandwidth.

JOAT
My aim is to get through life peacefully, with as little interferrnce
from human beings as possible.

Life just ain't life without good music. - JOAT
Web Page Update 30 Oct 2003.
Some tunes I like.
http://community-2.webtv.net/Jakofalltrades/SOMETUNESILIKE/

Damn. I better go check on my Bessey. It is about milking time and if
somebody sold her I am gonna be ticked.


On Thu, 30 Oct 2003 21:11:07 GMT, Test Tickle

<[email protected]> wrote:

>WASHINGTON, D.C. (Rooters) - Senior Bush administration officials have
>confirmed that presidential advisor Condoleeza Rice did not step down
>from her post, as was previously reported. Instead, Ms. Rice has been
>fired for her role in what Washington insiders are already referring
>to as "Clampgate." According to an initial investigation led by
>Senator Gross In-Stabil, Rice was involved in a plot at the very
>highest levels of government to conceal what it knew about the
>presence of "Cabinet Master" clamps.
>
>As Senator Gross In-Stabil described the events, "the administration
>knew there weren't any clamps to go along with these widely circulated
>claims. In fact, they were warned by the CIA and FBI that the presence
>of mass amounts of clamps (MAC) was incorrect, and urged the
>government not to support those claims."
>
>According to Bush administration pundits, "there certainly are clamps
>out there. Somewhere. We have troops on the ground looking for them,
>and expect informants to step up and provide information in exchange
>for very generous gift cards (available only by mail)." Other leaks
>from unidentified government officials claim that there were, indeed,
>more than enough clamps to go around, but that the supply was
>tragically destroyed in the "Great California Barbecue" of 2003.
>
>An ongoing investigation is looking into allegations that Vice
>President Dick Cheney and had recently purchased a large amount of
>stock in the Bessey Corporation.
>.
>Film at 11:00.
>
>tt
>

I knew those clamps would eventually clamp down.


On Thu, 30 Oct 2003 17:56:21 GMT, Scott Cramer
<[email protected]> wrote:

>WASHINGTON, D.C. (Reuters) - Senior Bush administration officials have
>confirmed the resignation of presidential advisor Condoleeza Rice. An
>unnamed source is quoted as saying: "Ms. Rice feels that the Jorgensen
>clamp's inability to open after being mishandled is the numero uno threat
>to world stability, and she can no longer sit on the sidelines while the
>U.S. twiddles its thumbs." Her departure throws management of the Iraq
>situation squarely back into Donald Rumseld's lap, much to the relief of
>Vice President Cheney and all the fine hard-working folks at Halliburton.
>Film at 11:00.

Latest "on-the-séance" report from Geraldo is that's definitely NOT
Condoleeza Rice, but Sally Struthers in blackface.

--
www.e-woodshop.net
Last update: 9/21/03


"Scott Cramer" wrote in message
> WASHINGTON, D.C. (Reuters) - Senior Bush administration officials have
> confirmed the resignation of presidential advisor Condoleeza Rice.

"Scott Cramer" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> WASHINGTON, D.C. (Reuters) - Senior Bush administration officials have
> confirmed the resignation of presidential advisor Condoleeza Rice. An
> unnamed source is quoted as saying: "Ms. Rice feels that the Jorgensen
> clamp's inability to open after being mishandled is the numero uno threat
> to world stability, and she can no longer sit on the sidelines while the
> U.S. twiddles its thumbs."

I think this is not true and you are just pulling our leg.
The real reason she is leaving is to go to Woodcraft and fix their ordering
systems for sale items. It is rumored that Colin Powel will be starting
talks with the people that got "confirmed" order but no clamps.
Ed

On 30 Oct 2003, Edwin Pawlowski spake unto rec.woodworking:

>
> "Scott Cramer" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> WASHINGTON, D.C. (Reuters) - Senior Bush administration officials
>> have confirmed the resignation of presidential advisor Condoleeza
>> Rice. An unnamed source is quoted as saying: "Ms. Rice feels that
>> the Jorgensen clamp's inability to open after being mishandled is the
>> numero uno threat to world stability, and she can no longer sit on
>> the sidelines while the U.S. twiddles its thumbs."
>
> I think this is not true and you are just pulling our leg.
> The real reason she is leaving is to go to Woodcraft and fix their
> ordering systems for sale items. It is rumored that Colin Powel will
> be starting talks with the people that got "confirmed" order but no
> clamps. Ed

Now you've done it. By blowing her cover, you've jeopardized the chances
for a peaceful solution to Woodcraft/Jorgensen quagmire. I imagine you can
hear the black helicopters coming your way right about now... send us a
postcard from Guantanamo Bay, OK?

On 30 Oct 2003, T. spake unto rec.woodworking:

> Thu, Oct 30, 2003, 5:56pm (EST+5) [email protected]
> (Scott Cramer) says something:
> <snipped>
>
> And people have plonked me, because they think my posts waste
> bandwidth.

I have no desire to challenge your position as #1 in the wasted bandwidth
department.

Hell, even if I did want to be a contender, as long as you keep up your
present output, I could never catch up. It's kind of like Xeno's Paradox,
doncha know.

http://home.earthlink.net/~djbach/paradox.html

Oh Lord, my lungs hurt too much to laugh like that ... where the hell's that
pillow!

--
www.e-woodshop.net
Last update: 9/21/03

"Tom Watson" wrote in message

> Damn!
>
> Up until now I was pretty convinced that Sally Struthers was Al
> Sharpton in whiteface.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (Rooters) - Senior Bush administration officials have
confirmed that presidential advisor Condoleeza Rice did not step down
from her post, as was previously reported. Instead, Ms. Rice has been
fired for her role in what Washington insiders are already referring
to as "Clampgate." According to an initial investigation led by
Senator Gross In-Stabil, Rice was involved in a plot at the very
highest levels of government to conceal what it knew about the
presence of "Cabinet Master" clamps.

As Senator Gross In-Stabil described the events, "the administration
knew there weren't any clamps to go along with these widely circulated
claims. In fact, they were warned by the CIA and FBI that the presence
of mass amounts of clamps (MAC) was incorrect, and urged the
government not to support those claims."

According to Bush administration pundits, "there certainly are clamps
out there. Somewhere. We have troops on the ground looking for them,
and expect informants to step up and provide information in exchange
for very generous gift cards (available only by mail)." Other leaks
from unidentified government officials claim that there were, indeed,
more than enough clamps to go around, but that the supply was
tragically destroyed in the "Great California Barbecue" of 2003.

An ongoing investigation is looking into allegations that Vice
President Dick Cheney and had recently purchased a large amount of
stock in the Bessey Corporation.
.
Film at 11:00.

tt

"Lawrence A. Ramsey" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> I knew those clamps would eventually clamp down.
>
>

I guess that means Bush will caul out to the UN to tighten restrictions on
their import and prevent further squeeze outs from the French, Germans and
Ruskies.

Larry