Recalling some homilies and quips that made me smile years ago, the
pros always seem to have their special sayings. For example, decades
ago I was at a welding class and finally ran a decent bead on a right
angle fillet. The taciturn old timer teaching the course came by,
looked at the work and opined, "Looks like it's stuck". Obviously
disappointed, I later asked a classmate to comment. He grinned and
said, "You just got yourself an A for today. That's the old timers'
compliment".
Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
Heard any good ones over the years?
Joe
On Aug 23, 9:52=A0pm, "Lew Hodgett" <[email protected]> wrote:
> "RtW" wrote:
> > Two things needed to be a plumber: =A0Sh*t runs downhill and Payday is
> > Friday.
>
> ---------------------------------------
> Don't bite your fingernails and never eat the yellow snow.
Every asshole is a potential customer.
On Aug 18, 1:42=A0am, Michael Karas <[email protected]>
wrote:
> In article <b11e2e4c-65bf-406b-acd8-73b6e0b32866
> @i31g2000yqm.googlegroups.com>, [email protected] says...
>
>
>
> > Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
> > the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
> > Heard any good ones over the years?
> > Joe
>
> Working during my college day summers with some old timer carpenters
> remodeling houses in Minnesota farm country; one of their favorite
> expressions at fitting up some piece of wood was "fits good 'nuf as
> they'll never see that from downtown Chicago".
The version I hear is, "I won't see it from my house." Usually said
by a roofer when asked about the wavy shingle courses.
R
On Aug 25, 2:38=A0am, "woodstuff" <[email protected]> wrote:
> "RtW" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>
> news:[email protected]...
>
> > Two things needed to be a plumber: =A0Sh*t runs downhill and Payday is
>
> Friday.
>
> Along with the other things in this thread, I remember hearing:
>
> *The Boss is an SOB
> &
> *Quittin' time is 5 O'clock
>
> Have a nice day, =A0woodstuff
A plumber is an electrician with the shit kicked out of him.
On Wed, 18 Aug 2010 14:28:53 -0700, "Lew Hodgett"
<[email protected]> wrote:
>"Michael Karas" wrote:
>
>
>> During my college day summers with some old timer carpenters
>>> remodeling houses in Minnesota farm country; one of their favorite
>>> expressions at fitting up some piece of wood was "fits good 'nuf as
>>> they'll never see that from downtown Chicago".
>------------------------------
>Sounds like the old, "... flying red horse at 1,000 ft won't see the
>difference."
>
>Lew
>
>
>
Use it up
Wear it out
Make it do
Or do without
There is nothing so simple that it cannot be made more complicated.
Measure twice. Stop for lunch.
On Thu, 19 Aug 2010 01:21:26 GMT, [email protected] (Doug Miller) wrote:
>In article <[email protected]>, willshak <[email protected]> wrote:
>>Robatoy wrote the following:
>>> On Aug 17, 8:18 pm, Joe <[email protected]> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Recalling some homilies and quips that made me smile years ago, the
>>>> pros always seem to have their special sayings. For example, decades
>>>> ago I was at a welding class and finally ran a decent bead on a right
>>>> angle fillet. The taciturn old timer teaching the course came by,
>>>> looked at the work and opined, "Looks like it's stuck". Obviously
>>>> disappointed, I later asked a classmate to comment. He grinned and
>>>> said, "You just got yourself an A for today. That's the old timers'
>>>> compliment".
>>>> Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
>>>> the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
>>>> Heard any good ones over the years?
>>>> Joe
>>>>
>>>
>>> One of my favourites:
>>> "We are not making watches."
>>>
>>...or as house framers would say, we are not making furniture.
>
>SWMBO keeps telling me "You're not making a piano here..."
Maybe a clock...
"basilisk" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> How long do you want those 2x4's ?
>
> I'm going to need them a long time, I'm building a house.
While tiling the floor in a small bath my 'mentor' was off the line
parallel to the vanity, all the more noticeable account the bathroom's
small floor area.
"Dave (his name, too)," you're way off the line!"
"Of course, that's the way I see."
Dave in Houston
"Michael Karas" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> In article <b11e2e4c-65bf-406b-acd8-73b6e0b32866
> @i31g2000yqm.googlegroups.com>, [email protected] says...
>>
>> Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
>> the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
>> Heard any good ones over the years?
>> Joe
>
> Working during my college day summers with some old timer carpenters
> remodeling houses in Minnesota farm country; one of their favorite
> expressions at fitting up some piece of wood was "fits good 'nuf as
> they'll never see that from downtown Chicago".
>
> --
> - mkaras
or as my Dad used to say ",measure it with a micrometer, mark it with a
grease pencil, then cut it with an axe"
Sparky
On Aug 18, 1:42=A0am, Michael Karas <[email protected]>
wrote:
> In article <b11e2e4c-65bf-406b-acd8-73b6e0b32866
> @i31g2000yqm.googlegroups.com>, [email protected] says...
>
>
>
> > Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
> > the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
> > Heard any good ones over the years?
> > Joe
>
> Working during my college day summers with some old timer carpenters
> remodeling houses in Minnesota farm country; one of their favorite
> expressions at fitting up some piece of wood was "fits good 'nuf as
> they'll never see that from downtown Chicago".
>
> --
> - mkaras
My dad used to say, "A blind man on a fast horse will never know the
difference."
Surveying
For property - highest accuracy - That's close.
For staking curb & gutter - lower accuracy - That's close enough.
For stuff that being off by a tenth of a foot in distance is ok
- Close enough for sewer.
Complimenting a wife or girlfriend
You don't sweat much - for a fat broad (DUCK!).
Framer
That wall plumb and straight? - It's tits. (have no idea what tits
have
to do with straight and plumb)
Cabinet Making
You can't make rectangles out of trapezoids.
Furniture Maker
Flat face and back, straight sides, all corners square - Four Square
Plumbers
Raw Sewage - Smells like money!
Electrician
That bites.
...
>
> "Joe" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:b11e2e4c-65bf-406b-acd8-73b6e0b32866@i31g2000yqm.googlegroups.com...
>> Recalling some homilies and quips that made me smile years ago, the
>> pros always seem to have their special sayings. For example, decades
>> ago I was at a welding class and finally ran a decent bead on a right
>> angle fillet. The taciturn old timer teaching the course came by,
>> looked at the work and opined, "Looks like it's stuck". Obviously
>> disappointed, I later asked a classmate to comment. He grinned and
>> said, "You just got yourself an A for today. That's the old timers'
>> compliment".
>> Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
>> the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
>> Heard any good ones over the years?
>> Joe
My grandfather was the ultimate "recycler". It was not such a good thing
back in the day. He built many a garage for little or no money. I have seen
him build a big garage for a car or two and a small shop for $300. All the
nails were reclaimed from demolition jobs.
He used to say to me, "Lee, go make some nails." This was where I would go
to the pails of old, bent, rusty nails and one by one, straighten them out.
The other thing he said, that I remember very well to this day, had to do
with missing the nail and hitting my thumb/hand. He would say, "Hit the
wrong nail?" I remember that expression very fondly. He was a great man and
made such an impression on me as a youngster. I don't like hitting my hand
with a hammer, I don't do it very much these days. But when I do, I still
see his face and hear his voice. It makes me feel good remembering him.
Thanks Grandpa.
"Michael Karas" wrote:
> During my college day summers with some old timer carpenters
>> remodeling houses in Minnesota farm country; one of their favorite
>> expressions at fitting up some piece of wood was "fits good 'nuf as
>> they'll never see that from downtown Chicago".
------------------------------
Sounds like the old, "... flying red horse at 1,000 ft won't see the
difference."
Lew
On Thu, 19 Aug 2010 01:02:20 -0400, Bill <[email protected]> wrote:
>vonKevin wrote:
>
>> "If it don't fit, force it - if it breaks, it needed replacing
>> anyway."
>>
>
>One I find myself saying justifying my actions to others:
>
>"You can't fix it if you're not willing to take a chance of breaking it."
>
>
>As far as my old Microsoft keyboard, it needed replacing anyway.
>I was surprised how complicated those things are on the inside! : )
If it ain't broke, fix it until it is!
On Aug 17, 5:18=A0pm, Joe <[email protected]> wrote:
> Recalling some homilies and quips that made me smile years ago, the
> pros always seem to have their special sayings. For example, decades
> ago I was at a welding class and finally ran a decent bead on a right
> angle fillet. The taciturn old timer teaching the course came by,
> looked at the work and opined, "Looks like it's stuck". Obviously
> disappointed, I later asked a classmate to comment. He grinned and
> said, "You just got yourself an A for today. That's the old timers'
> compliment".
> Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
> the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
> Heard any good ones over the years?
> Joe
My father (who was a cabinetmaker) used to say: "Taglia l'aria e
spacca il burro." of any dull tool. "Cuts air & splits butter"
Luigi
sparky01 wrote:
>
> or as my Dad used to say ",measure it with a micrometer, mark it with
> a grease pencil, then cut it with an axe"
>
That's perfect for a woodworking group like this. Mark that one a keeper.
--
-Mike-
[email protected]
On Aug 18, 4:23=A0pm, "Dave In Texas" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Caulk to fit, paint to match.
> It ain't a credenza. =A0
###########################
When I worked for the Feds, I used to
hear =3D Good enuff for government work !!
Smitty
############################
On Tue, 17 Aug 2010 17:18:42 -0700 (PDT), Joe <[email protected]> wrote:
>Heard any good ones over the years?
"you need a Board Stretcher" *
Also there is the rookie sent to get a _bucket of electricity_ (don't
ask how I know that).
The one I hated most in time of pain was "it will feel better when it
quits hurting".
* _Board Stretcher With Art Willing _
Video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pw3kpyd9sUw
Robatoy wrote the following:
> On Aug 17, 8:18 pm, Joe <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Recalling some homilies and quips that made me smile years ago, the
>> pros always seem to have their special sayings. For example, decades
>> ago I was at a welding class and finally ran a decent bead on a right
>> angle fillet. The taciturn old timer teaching the course came by,
>> looked at the work and opined, "Looks like it's stuck". Obviously
>> disappointed, I later asked a classmate to comment. He grinned and
>> said, "You just got yourself an A for today. That's the old timers'
>> compliment".
>> Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
>> the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
>> Heard any good ones over the years?
>> Joe
>>
>
> One of my favourites:
> "We are not making watches."
>
..or as house framers would say, we are not making furniture.
"RtW" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> Two things needed to be a plumber: Sh*t runs downhill and Payday is
> Friday.
I always remembered it as they needed to know - hot on the left, cold on the
right - s*it runs down hill - payday is on Friday.
--
Jim in NC
In news:[email protected],
Lew Hodgett <[email protected]>spewed forth:
> "Michael Karas" wrote:
>
>
>> During my college day summers with some old timer carpenters
>>> remodeling houses in Minnesota farm country; one of their favorite
>>> expressions at fitting up some piece of wood was "fits good 'nuf as
>>> they'll never see that from downtown Chicago".
> ------------------------------
> Sounds like the old, "... flying red horse at 1,000 ft won't see the
> difference."
>
> Lew
or
"Good enough for the girls I go out with"
"Joe" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:b11e2e4c-65bf-406b-acd8-73b6e0b32866@i31g2000yqm.googlegroups.com...
> Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
> the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
> Heard any good ones over the years?
> Joe
A. "Geez, this thing is heavier than it looks."
B. "Yeah, it looks like it would be heavier than it looks."
[email protected] wrote:
> On Aug 18, 4:23 pm, "Dave In Texas" <[email protected]> wrote:
>> Caulk to fit, paint to match.
>> It ain't a credenza.
>
> ###########################
> When I worked for the Feds, I used to
> hear = Good enuff for government work !!
>
> Smitty
> ############################
>
My brother used to hear that a lot from the artillery...
"Close enough for government work!" (Explanation available if you really
need it..."
In article <b11e2e4c-65bf-406b-acd8-73b6e0b32866
@i31g2000yqm.googlegroups.com>, [email protected] says...
>
> Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
> the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
> Heard any good ones over the years?
> Joe
Working during my college day summers with some old timer carpenters
remodeling houses in Minnesota farm country; one of their favorite
expressions at fitting up some piece of wood was "fits good 'nuf as
they'll never see that from downtown Chicago".
--
- mkaras
[email protected] (Doug Miller) wrote:
snippage
>>
>>or as my Dad used to say ",measure it with a micrometer, mark it with a
>>grease pencil, then cut it with an axe"
>>
>I heard that as "measure with a micrometer, mark with chalk, cut with an axe,
>and hammer to fit -- and if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway!"
"Bash to fit, Paint to hide"
Alternately:
"If it don't fit, force it - if it breaks, it needed replacing
anyway."
And the measuring/cutting one, I always heard it as "Measure it with a
micrometer, mark it with a grease pencil, cut it with a chainsaw"
If it doesn't fit - you need a bigger hammer.
-Kevin in Indy
To reply, remove (+spamproof+) from address........
On Wed, 18 Aug 2010 18:32:04 -0400, [email protected] wrote:
>On Wed, 18 Aug 2010 14:28:53 -0700, "Lew Hodgett"
><[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>"Michael Karas" wrote:
>>
>>
>>> During my college day summers with some old timer carpenters
>>>> remodeling houses in Minnesota farm country; one of their favorite
>>>> expressions at fitting up some piece of wood was "fits good 'nuf as
>>>> they'll never see that from downtown Chicago".
>>------------------------------
>>Sounds like the old, "... flying red horse at 1,000 ft won't see the
>>difference."
I hadn't heard that one.
I remember "Good enough for government work.", though.
>Use it up
>Wear it out
>Make it do
>Or do without
Said by a person who survived the Depression.
>There is nothing so simple that it cannot be made more complicated.
Spoken by an engineering type.
>Measure twice. Stop for lunch.
Here we have a Union comment.
--
We're all here because we're not all there.
On Aug 17, 8:18=A0pm, Joe <[email protected]> wrote:
> Recalling some homilies and quips that made me smile years ago, the
> pros always seem to have their special sayings. For example, decades
> ago I was at a welding class and finally ran a decent bead on a right
> angle fillet. The taciturn old timer teaching the course came by,
> looked at the work and opined, "Looks like it's stuck". Obviously
> disappointed, I later asked a classmate to comment. He grinned and
> said, "You just got yourself an A for today. That's the old timers'
> compliment".
> Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
> the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
> Heard any good ones over the years?
> Joe
One of my favourites:
"We are not making watches."
On Aug 17, 9:24=A0pm, "DGDevin" <[email protected]> wrote:
> "Joe" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>
> news:b11e2e4c-65bf-406b-acd8-73b6e0b32866@i31g2000yqm.googlegroups.com...
>
> > Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
> > the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
> > Heard any good ones over the years?
> > Joe
>
> A. =A0"Geez, this thing is heavier than it looks."
> B. =A0"Yeah, it looks like it would be heavier than it looks."
I like
"Joe" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:b11e2e4c-65bf-406b-acd8-73b6e0b32866@i31g2000yqm.googlegroups.com...
> Recalling some homilies and quips that made me smile years ago, the
> pros always seem to have their special sayings. For example, decades
> ago I was at a welding class and finally ran a decent bead on a right
> angle fillet. The taciturn old timer teaching the course came by,
> looked at the work and opined, "Looks like it's stuck". Obviously
> disappointed, I later asked a classmate to comment. He grinned and
> said, "You just got yourself an A for today. That's the old timers'
> compliment".
> Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
> the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
> Heard any good ones over the years?
> Joe
One I use a lot is (thats good enough for a town of this size) since I am a
wood butcher not a "woodworker" WW
In article <[email protected]>, "sparky01" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>"Michael Karas" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>news:[email protected]...
>> In article <b11e2e4c-65bf-406b-acd8-73b6e0b32866
>> @i31g2000yqm.googlegroups.com>, [email protected] says...
>>>
>>> Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
>>> the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
>>> Heard any good ones over the years?
>>> Joe
>>
>> Working during my college day summers with some old timer carpenters
>> remodeling houses in Minnesota farm country; one of their favorite
>> expressions at fitting up some piece of wood was "fits good 'nuf as
>> they'll never see that from downtown Chicago".
>>
>> --
>> - mkaras
>
>or as my Dad used to say ",measure it with a micrometer, mark it with a
>grease pencil, then cut it with an axe"
>
I heard that as "measure with a micrometer, mark with chalk, cut with an axe,
and hammer to fit -- and if it breaks, it needed replacing anyway!"
In article <[email protected]>, willshak <[email protected]> wrote:
>Robatoy wrote the following:
>> On Aug 17, 8:18 pm, Joe <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>> Recalling some homilies and quips that made me smile years ago, the
>>> pros always seem to have their special sayings. For example, decades
>>> ago I was at a welding class and finally ran a decent bead on a right
>>> angle fillet. The taciturn old timer teaching the course came by,
>>> looked at the work and opined, "Looks like it's stuck". Obviously
>>> disappointed, I later asked a classmate to comment. He grinned and
>>> said, "You just got yourself an A for today. That's the old timers'
>>> compliment".
>>> Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
>>> the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
>>> Heard any good ones over the years?
>>> Joe
>>>
>>
>> One of my favourites:
>> "We are not making watches."
>>
>...or as house framers would say, we are not making furniture.
SWMBO keeps telling me "You're not making a piano here..."
vonKevin wrote:
> "If it don't fit, force it - if it breaks, it needed replacing
> anyway."
>
One I find myself saying justifying my actions to others:
"You can't fix it if you're not willing to take a chance of breaking it."
As far as my old Microsoft keyboard, it needed replacing anyway.
I was surprised how complicated those things are on the inside! : )
In article <[email protected]>,
RtW <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>Two things needed to be a plumber: Sh*t runs downhill and Payday is Friday.
>
I always heard it as 3 things, the first being "Hot's on the left"
--
There is always an easy solution to every human problem -- neat,
plausible, and wrong." (H L Mencken)
Larry Wasserman - Baltimore Maryland - lwasserm(a)sdf. lonestar. org
"RtW" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> Two things needed to be a plumber: Sh*t runs downhill and Payday is
Friday.
Along with the other things in this thread, I remember hearing:
*The Boss is an SOB
&
*Quittin' time is 5 O'clock
Have a nice day, woodstuff
My dad and his two brothers had a small carpentry company back in the
1950s (Hall Brothers Builders). My uncle used to tell my dad, when he
was getting a bit too picky on how something should fit, "we aren't
making watches, Pete"...
On Tue, 17 Aug 2010 17:18:42 -0700 (PDT), Joe <[email protected]> wrote:
>Recalling some homilies and quips that made me smile years ago, the
>pros always seem to have their special sayings. For example, decades
>ago I was at a welding class and finally ran a decent bead on a right
>angle fillet. The taciturn old timer teaching the course came by,
>looked at the work and opined, "Looks like it's stuck". Obviously
>disappointed, I later asked a classmate to comment. He grinned and
>said, "You just got yourself an A for today. That's the old timers'
>compliment".
>Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
>the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
>Heard any good ones over the years?
>Joe
"RtW" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> Two things needed to be a plumber: Sh*t runs downhill and Payday is
> Friday.
I always remembered it as they needed to know - hot on the left, cold on the
right - s*it runs down hill - payday is on Friday.
--
Jim in NC
"sparky01" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "Michael Karas" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> or as my Dad used to say ",measure it with a micrometer, mark it with a
> grease pencil, then cut it with an axe"
Another from mentor, Dave.
"I think the client had something better in mind, Dave"
"We made it better than it was."
Dave in Houston
On Tue, 17 Aug 2010 17:18:42 -0700 (PDT), Joe wrote:
> Recalling some homilies and quips that made me smile years ago, the
> pros always seem to have their special sayings. For example, decades
> ago I was at a welding class and finally ran a decent bead on a right
> angle fillet. The taciturn old timer teaching the course came by,
> looked at the work and opined, "Looks like it's stuck". Obviously
> disappointed, I later asked a classmate to comment. He grinned and
> said, "You just got yourself an A for today. That's the old timers'
> compliment".
> Woodworkers probably have similar nifties relating to dumb mistakes,
> the most ancient likely, "I cut it twice and it's still too short...".
> Heard any good ones over the years?
> Joe
How long do you want those 2x4's ?
I'm going to need them a long time, I'm building a house.
basilisk