SB

"Steve B"

07/01/2006 4:51 PM

SUM PERCH!

The other day I felt energetic. I also felt claustrophobic, that feeling
you get just before you pass out from lack of oxygen ............... I had
to take stuff to the dump.

Anyhoo, I took stuff to the dump. Included was a piece of black carpet that
had been laying around forever. I felt gratification, satisfaction, and
nearly an orgasm as I tossed things that had tripped me, sat around forever,
and just disorganized my life. GOOD RIDDANCE.

Fast forward.

I went quail hunting for the last couple of days. After I got home, I went
to wrenching on the ATV and checking things. I decided I needed a piece of
carpet in the bottom of my hard box to keep things from bouncing.

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It's at the dump.

Why is it that when you take stuff to the dump, you need it within a few
days?

This is about the sixty third time this has happened.

How do they know?

Steve


This topic has 8 replies

jj

jo4hn

in reply to "Steve B" on 07/01/2006 4:51 PM

08/01/2006 8:20 AM

Steve B wrote:
> The other day I felt energetic. I also felt claustrophobic, that feeling
[snip]

> This is about the sixty third time this has happened.
>
> How do they know?
>
> Steve
>
>

Google "murphy's law" and pay attention to its four zillion corollaries.
It's gospel truth.
whine,
jo4hn

SB

"Steve B"

in reply to "Steve B" on 07/01/2006 4:51 PM

07/01/2006 5:50 PM


"Joe Barta" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Steve B wrote:
>
>> Why is it that when you take stuff to the dump, you need it within
>> a few days?
>
> Happens to us all. I think it's hard coded into the game of life. I
> look at it this way... first, I expect that some of the crap I'm
> getting rid of I may need in week. I expect it. I accept it. I
> internalize it. I am one with it. So when it happens, no biggie. And
> two, I tell myself that the benefits of ridding myself of accumulated
> gunk FAR outweigh the little "oh shit" I experience when I need
> something I just threw out.
>
> I'll tell you a little story... several years ago I needed a coffee
> can for something and the last empty had just gone out with the trash.
> So I resolved to start saving the little buggers because they sure do
> come in handy. Pretty soon I had several empties stashed above the
> kitchen cupboards. Sure was nice.... whenever I needed one, BAM, there
> it was. Pretty soon I had a dozen, then two, then three (I drink a lot
> of coffee).
>
> Friends started remarking about my coffee can "collection" and I'd
> tell then how useful those cans can be. Pretty soon they were piling
> up on top of the refrigerator, on the pantry shelf, and of course the
> tops of all the cupboards. I had a problem, but I was in denial. My
> friends confronted me, but I just blew them off. I didn't have a
> problem dammit! The cans are useful and I'll never be without one
> again!
>
> One day though I looked around my kitchen and saw what my life had
> become. It was clear... I had a problem... and I needed to do
> something about it before things spiraled further out of control. I
> knew what I had to do. I bought some lawn and leaf bags and started
> loading up cans. As I bagged them, I swear I could hear them crying...
> "Joe, you know you'll need us... you'll regret this... you'll buy some
> rock salt or a bunch of nails and have nothing to put them in!"
>
> Still, I persevered. I can say that with each can that clunked into
> the trash bag it got easier. Soon I discovered things in my kitchen
> that I didn't even know I had... they had been buried under coffee
> cans. By the end of the day there was a new spring in my step... life
> had new meaning and it was like a giant weight had been lifted from my
> shoulders.
>
> I was a new man and that day was the first day of the rest of my life.
>
> Now, to be honest, I did keep a few cans. I gave myself a limit of 10
> cans each (10 large and 10 small). I can only save a can if it's to
> replace one that I used. Other than that... in the trash it goes.
>
> They say that only if you have been in the deepest valley can you ever
> know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain. Well my
> friends, I beat my addiction and life is grand.
>
> Ok, I'm done now, sorry.
>
> Joe Barta

........ sniff .......... snort ............ that was beautiful, man!
........

Steve

JB

Joe Barta

in reply to "Steve B" on 07/01/2006 4:51 PM

08/01/2006 1:40 AM

Steve B wrote:

> Why is it that when you take stuff to the dump, you need it within
> a few days?

Happens to us all. I think it's hard coded into the game of life. I
look at it this way... first, I expect that some of the crap I'm
getting rid of I may need in week. I expect it. I accept it. I
internalize it. I am one with it. So when it happens, no biggie. And
two, I tell myself that the benefits of ridding myself of accumulated
gunk FAR outweigh the little "oh shit" I experience when I need
something I just threw out.

I'll tell you a little story... several years ago I needed a coffee
can for something and the last empty had just gone out with the trash.
So I resolved to start saving the little buggers because they sure do
come in handy. Pretty soon I had several empties stashed above the
kitchen cupboards. Sure was nice.... whenever I needed one, BAM, there
it was. Pretty soon I had a dozen, then two, then three (I drink a lot
of coffee).

Friends started remarking about my coffee can "collection" and I'd
tell then how useful those cans can be. Pretty soon they were piling
up on top of the refrigerator, on the pantry shelf, and of course the
tops of all the cupboards. I had a problem, but I was in denial. My
friends confronted me, but I just blew them off. I didn't have a
problem dammit! The cans are useful and I'll never be without one
again!

One day though I looked around my kitchen and saw what my life had
become. It was clear... I had a problem... and I needed to do
something about it before things spiraled further out of control. I
knew what I had to do. I bought some lawn and leaf bags and started
loading up cans. As I bagged them, I swear I could hear them crying...
"Joe, you know you'll need us... you'll regret this... you'll buy some
rock salt or a bunch of nails and have nothing to put them in!"

Still, I persevered. I can say that with each can that clunked into
the trash bag it got easier. Soon I discovered things in my kitchen
that I didn't even know I had... they had been buried under coffee
cans. By the end of the day there was a new spring in my step... life
had new meaning and it was like a giant weight had been lifted from my
shoulders.

I was a new man and that day was the first day of the rest of my life.

Now, to be honest, I did keep a few cans. I gave myself a limit of 10
cans each (10 large and 10 small). I can only save a can if it's to
replace one that I used. Other than that... in the trash it goes.

They say that only if you have been in the deepest valley can you ever
know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain. Well my
friends, I beat my addiction and life is grand.

Ok, I'm done now, sorry.

Joe Barta

JJ

in reply to Joe Barta on 08/01/2006 1:40 AM

09/01/2006 3:56 PM

Sun, Jan 8, 2006, 1:40am (EST+5) [email protected] (Joe=A0Barta) who has
failed life's test wrote:
<snip> I'll tell you a little story.<snip> into the trash bag <snip> in
the trash it goes. <snip> Ok, I'm done now, sorry.

Boy, we sure can't trust you, can we? You goofed. Big time. What
you should have done - pack each can with sawdust. Then, seel them to
people to carry in their vehicle, so they can sprinkle some when they
need traction in snow - or on ice. That serves three purposes - gets
rid of the extra cans, gets rid of your sawdust, brings in extra money.
If you happen to be somewhere with no snow (like Californery or Florida,
then move to some other state, snowy or not), then you ship the filled
cans to some place with snow, they you charge extra, because it's
imported. You can even spray paint the cans, then put your own abel on
them, and charge even more.

Never, ever, listen to anyone telling you to get rid of anything.
You'll lose in the end if you do. Now someone else, with a large stock
of coffee cans, is bound to read this, and get the jump on you, thereby
preventing you from making a fortune.



JOAT
You'll never get anywhere if you believe what you "hear".
What do you "know"?
- Granny Weatherwax

ND

"Norman D. Crow"

in reply to "Steve B" on 07/01/2006 4:51 PM

08/01/2006 10:11 PM


"Steve B" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:slZvf.7117$JT.808@fed1read06...
> The other day I felt energetic. I also felt claustrophobic, that feeling
> you get just before you pass out from lack of oxygen ............... I
> had to take stuff to the dump.
>
> Anyhoo, I took stuff to the dump. Included was a piece of black carpet
> that had been laying around forever. I felt gratification, satisfaction,
> and nearly an orgasm as I tossed things that had tripped me, sat around
> forever, and just disorganized my life. GOOD RIDDANCE.
>
> Fast forward.
>
> I went quail hunting for the last couple of days. After I got home, I
> went to wrenching on the ATV and checking things. I decided I needed a
> piece of carpet in the bottom of my hard box to keep things from bouncing.
>
> ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
>
> It's at the dump.
>
> Why is it that when you take stuff to the dump, you need it within a few
> days?
>



It's JUNK until 2 days after you take it to the dump!

--
Nahmie
Stupidity is not considered a handicap, park elsewhere.

WC

W Canaday

in reply to "Steve B" on 07/01/2006 4:51 PM

07/01/2006 8:05 PM

On Sat, 07 Jan 2006 16:51:33 -0800, Steve B wrote:

>
> Why is it that when you take stuff to the dump, you need it within a few
> days?
>
> This is about the sixty third time this has happened.
>
> How do they know?
>
> Steve


Yesterday I couldn't find my finishing nails so I bought a sampler package
at the nearest 'dollar store'.

Worked like a charm!

As for the carpet, drive around your neighborhood next trash day. Or drive
to the dump and catch someone off-loading their toolbox liner. ;-)

Bill

OL

Oleg Lego

in reply to "Steve B" on 07/01/2006 4:51 PM

08/01/2006 12:55 AM

The Steve B entity posted thusly:

>ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
>
>It's at the dump.
>
>Why is it that when you take stuff to the dump, you need it within a few
>days?
>
>This is about the sixty third time this has happened.
>
>How do they know?

It is always a mistake to allow any inanimate object know (or guess)
your intentions.

MD

"Morris Dovey"

in reply to "Steve B" on 07/01/2006 4:51 PM

07/01/2006 8:16 PM

Joe Barta (in [email protected]) said:

| my friends, I beat my addiction and life is grand.

Good evening. My name is Morris and I haven't saved a coffee can now
for four days...

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto/solar.html


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