A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket,
and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that
department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce.
The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the
matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some
asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his
sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him,
so he added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the
other half."
The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the
way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We
like people who think on their feet here.
"Where are you from, son?"
"Texas, sir," the boy replied.
"Well, why did you leave Texas?" the manager asked.
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing down there but
whores and football players ."
"Really!" said the manager. "My wife is from Texas."
"No shit??" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"
Damn this group is getting so sensitive. I guess I should
have put in more smiley face and winking smile emoticons
to clearly show how far my tongue was poking out my cheek.
To quote one respondent - LIGHTEN UP! That's why I posted
the joke - before the guy who failed to put OT and Humor
in the subject line :) 8>O :o)
charlie b
BTW - a lady friend in Austin - Texas that is - sent me
the joke and she wasn't offended by the punch line.
I'll second that.
Lighten-up people.
--
She's got tools, and she knows how to use them.
"James D Kountz" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Oh yes Dear Lord whatever you do make damn sure you post in the correct
> format so that no one accidently reads your message and then decides it
was
> a waste of their time. I for one enjoyed your post and got a good laugh
from
> it. Not once did I give a rats ass about the fact that it didnt contain OT
> in the header. Geezus.
>
> Jim
>
>
> "Anthony Diodati" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> > True, but I don't let stuff like that bother be anymore.
> > Tony D.
> > "charlie b" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> > news:[email protected]...
> > > Pat:
> > >
> > > An OT in the message subject line is recomended for
> > > Off Topic posts and including Humor in the message
> > > subject is nice. See my three hour earlier post
> > > "OT-Humor-Quick Thinking" for example :).
> > >
> > > May be an old joke but it was new to me - and funny
> > > IMHO.
> > >
> > > charlie b
> >
> >
>
>
What I am offended by is that there are NO caps in your name ... just who
the hell do you think you are posting like that??
--
www.e-woodshop.net
Last update: 1/23/04
"charlie b" wrote in message
> Damn this group is getting so sensitive. I guess I should
> have put in more smiley face and winking smile emoticons
> to clearly show how far my tongue was poking out my cheek.
>
> To quote one respondent - LIGHTEN UP! That's why I posted
> the joke - before the guy who failed to put OT and Humor
> in the subject line :) 8>O :o)
>
> charlie b
>
> BTW - a lady friend in Austin - Texas that is - sent me
> the joke and she wasn't offended by the punch line.
;>)
Swingman responds:
>
>What I am offended by is that there are NO caps in your name ... just who
>the hell do you think you are posting like that??
>
>--
>www.e-woodshop.net
>Last update: 1/23/04
>
>"charlie b" wrote in message
>> Damn this group is getting so sensitive. I guess I should
>> have put in more smiley face and winking smile emoticons
>> to clearly show how far my tongue was poking out my cheek.
>>
e.e.cummings grandnephew, maybe?
Charlie Self
"To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was
tautology." Mark Twain's Notebook
http://hometown.aol.com/charliediy/myhomepage/business.html
In article <[email protected]>,
charlie b <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>> e.e.cummings grandnephew, maybe?
>>
>> Charlie Self
>
> a roach by any other name would smell?
>
>for those who aren't familiar with the reference,
>the story is about a roach that uses a typewriter
>after the humans have gone home. he doesn't have
>enough weight to press down the "shift" key so
>everything he types is in lower case. this won't
>make any sense to those who never used a manual
>typewriter. i'm sure they're also wondering why
>it's called the "return" key. probably don't
>know why we're using qwerty keyboard layouts either.
>
>on a related note - anyone know the angles on
>a cunieform (sp?) stylus?
22 degrees.
Next question?
>
> e.e.cummings grandnephew, maybe?
>
> Charlie Self
a roach by any other name would smell?
for those who aren't familiar with the reference,
the story is about a roach that uses a typewriter
after the humans have gone home. he doesn't have
enough weight to press down the "shift" key so
everything he types is in lower case. this won't
make any sense to those who never used a manual
typewriter. i'm sure they're also wondering why
it's called the "return" key. probably don't
know why we're using qwerty keyboard layouts either.
on a related note - anyone know the angles on
a cunieform (sp?) stylus?
Charlie B (ok?)
On Wed, 28 Jan 2004 20:44:13 -0800, charlie b <[email protected]>
brought forth from the murky depths:
>>
>> e.e.cummings grandnephew, maybe?
MUST READ!
http://www.gvsu.edu/english/cummings/caps.htm
>> Charlie Self
>
> a roach by any other name would smell?
>
>for those who aren't familiar with the reference,
>the story is about a roach that uses a typewriter
>after the humans have gone home. he doesn't have
>enough weight to press down the "shift" key so
>everything he types is in lower case. this won't
>make any sense to those who never used a manual
>typewriter. i'm sure they're also wondering why
>it's called the "return" key. probably don't
>know why we're using qwerty keyboard layouts either.
how'd you get those double quotes, meester roach/
>on a related note - anyone know the angles on
>a cunieform (sp?) stylus?
It's "ie" in cutieform (see Alberto Vargas; that man
knew how to paint, wot?), but in cuneiform, it's "ei"
and the angles are about yea " ".
They look to be 30 and 45° from the pics at
http://www.upenn.edu/museum/Games/cuneiform.html
>Charlie B (ok?)
There, ya done blew your mystique. Now we KNOW you
have both a shift key -and- a warehouse full of caps.
----------------------------------------------
CAUTION: Driver Legally B l o n d (e)
http://www.diversify.com Web Database Development
=======================================================
In article <[email protected]>,
Swingman <[email protected]> wrote:
>What I am offended by is that there are NO caps in your name ... just who
>the hell do you think you are posting like that??
>
archibald tells me my real name is e.e. cummings.
True, but I don't let stuff like that bother be anymore.
Tony D.
"charlie b" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Pat:
>
> An OT in the message subject line is recomended for
> Off Topic posts and including Humor in the message
> subject is nice. See my three hour earlier post
> "OT-Humor-Quick Thinking" for example :).
>
> May be an old joke but it was new to me - and funny
> IMHO.
>
> charlie b
Oh yes Dear Lord whatever you do make damn sure you post in the correct
format so that no one accidently reads your message and then decides it was
a waste of their time. I for one enjoyed your post and got a good laugh from
it. Not once did I give a rats ass about the fact that it didnt contain OT
in the header. Geezus.
Jim
"Anthony Diodati" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> True, but I don't let stuff like that bother be anymore.
> Tony D.
> "charlie b" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> > Pat:
> >
> > An OT in the message subject line is recomended for
> > Off Topic posts and including Humor in the message
> > subject is nice. See my three hour earlier post
> > "OT-Humor-Quick Thinking" for example :).
> >
> > May be an old joke but it was new to me - and funny
> > IMHO.
> >
> > charlie b
>
>
It's still funny.
Preston
"SteveC1280" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> That joke is so old it has growth rings.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> Remove the 'remove' in my address to e:mail me.
Damn, I'm sorry Charlie, I didn't get you were joking. Missed that one
altogether. I apologize completely. (extends hand for handshake). What I
need to do is get the hell out of this house, been frozen in now for 4
days!!!!!!!
Jim
"charlie b" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Damn this group is getting so sensitive. I guess I should
> have put in more smiley face and winking smile emoticons
> to clearly show how far my tongue was poking out my cheek.
>
> To quote one respondent - LIGHTEN UP! That's why I posted
> the joke - before the guy who failed to put OT and Humor
> in the subject line :) 8>O :o)
>
> charlie b
>
> BTW - a lady friend in Austin - Texas that is - sent me
> the joke and she wasn't offended by the punch line.