This guy walks into a saloon, and watches with interest a group of men
playing poker. Playing poker with the men is a dog.
The guy is transfixed as he watches the dog, and finally he says,
"That's a pretty smart dog there!"
"Nah, he ain't so smart," says one of the men. "Whenever he has a good
hand he wags his tail."
----------------
Did you hear about the new pirate movie coming out?
It's rated ARRRRRRRRR.
----------------
Robatoy wrote:
> This guy walks into a saloon, and watches with interest a group of men
> playing poker. Playing poker with the men is a dog.
>
> The guy is transfixed as he watches the dog, and finally he says,
> "That's a pretty smart dog there!"
>
> "Nah, he ain't so smart," says one of the men. "Whenever he has a good
> hand he wags his tail."
>
> ----------------
>
> Did you hear about the new pirate movie coming out?
>
> It's rated ARRRRRRRRR.
>
> ----------------
Shame on you for foisting these atrocities upon us gentle souls.
humph,
jo4hn
Robatoy wrote:
> In article <[email protected]>,
> [email protected] wrote:
>
>
>>AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
>>
>>(sounds of steps running away and a man screaming into the night!!)
>>
>>Ouch.
>>
>>OK, I *did* laugh at a couple.
>>
>>But handle those with care, OK?
>
>
> *S*.. I'm well aware that those aren't for everybody.
>
> Guy falls into a canal in Amsterdam and starts hollering: "I can't swim!
> I can't SWIM!"
> A passer-by looks over the railing and says: "Hey, I can't swim either
> and you don't hear me going on about it !"
OK. Here's an oldie for you all:
In the mid-60's, a US Navy cruiser stopped in Mississippi for a week's
shore leave. The first evening, the Captain was more than a little
surprised to receive the following letter from the wife of a wealthy
plantation owner:
"Dear Captain, "Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's coming-of-age
party. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried
officers to attend the dance. They should arrive at 8 p.m., prepared for
an evening of polite Southern conversation and dance with lovely young
ladies. "One last point: No Jews - We don't like Jews."
Sure enough, at 8 p.m. on Thursday, the lady of the house heard a rap at
the door which she opened to find, in dress uniform, four
exquisitely-mannered, smiling black officers.
Her lower jaw hit the floor, but pulling herself together, she
stammered, "There must be some mistake."
"Madam," said the first officer - "Captain Goldberg doesn't make mistakes."
[nyuk, nyuk, nyuk]
In article <[email protected]>,
jo4hn <[email protected]> wrote:
> Robatoy wrote:
>
> > This guy walks into a saloon, and watches with interest a group of men
> > playing poker. Playing poker with the men is a dog.
> >
> > The guy is transfixed as he watches the dog, and finally he says,
> > "That's a pretty smart dog there!"
> >
> > "Nah, he ain't so smart," says one of the men. "Whenever he has a good
> > hand he wags his tail."
> >
> > ----------------
> >
> > Did you hear about the new pirate movie coming out?
> >
> > It's rated ARRRRRRRRR.
> >
> > ----------------
>
> Shame on you for foisting these atrocities upon us gentle souls.
> humph,
> jo4hn
Sorry... are these better?
---------
How can you tell if a wall was built by lesbians?
It's all tongue and groove, no studs.
---------
A priest, a homosexual, and a pedophile walk into a bar. He orders a
drink.
---------
A salesman was traveling through the Minnesota country side, selling
insect
repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer.
"Sir, my
bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again, I guarantee it."
The farmer was dubious. "Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll
tie you out
in my field buck naked, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a
single bite
on you come morning, I'll buy a whole case from you."
The salesman was delighted with the thought of a large sale.
They went to the field and he stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly
with the bug spray and tied him to a stake. Back to the house went the
farmer.
The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to the field.
Sure
enough, the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, not a single bite
on him.
Yet he was a total wreck! Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one
bite
on him.
The farmer was perplexed. "Son," he said, "now, you don't have a bite
on you but you look like hell! What the devil happened?"
The salesman looked up through bloodshot eyes and said, "Geez, mister,
doesn't that calf have a mother?!!!"
------------
And last, but not least:
------------
A Buddist monk walk up to the hot dog vendor and says, "Can you make me
one with everything?"
And as the Buddhist monk asks the hot dog vendor for his change, he's
told "Change must come from within.
In article <[email protected]>,
[email protected] wrote:
> AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
>
> (sounds of steps running away and a man screaming into the night!!)
>
> Ouch.
>
> OK, I *did* laugh at a couple.
>
> But handle those with care, OK?
*S*.. I'm well aware that those aren't for everybody.
Guy falls into a canal in Amsterdam and starts hollering: "I can't swim!
I can't SWIM!"
A passer-by looks over the railing and says: "Hey, I can't swim either
and you don't hear me going on about it !"