As aspiring hunter bought himself a high-powered bear killin' rifle
with a high-powered scope on it and went up into the Great White North
hunting for bears.
After two weeks of sleeping on the ground with nary a hot meal, nor a
campfire to warm himself, the last day of his hunt had come. The poor
guy hadn't even seen any sign of a bear, much less a bear in the
flesh. As he begins his trek out of the wilderness, he sees a black
bear cub. Nearly soiling himself with excitement, he somehow manages
to get a shot off and kills the black bear cub at 300 yards. Whooping
with joy, he runs over to his kill.
As he stands there over the carcass of the bear cub, he feels a
presence behind him. He turns around and sees a very large black bear
breathing down his neck. The bear says to the hunter, "You know, we
bears all stick together. We have a code. Now, I'll give you two
choices: I can kill you now, or I can have my way with you. What's it
gonna be?"
The, uh, virgin hunter certainly doesn't want to be torn limb from
limb, so he opts for sodomy and, friends, that bear wore that hunter
out. So much so that the hunter spent two weeks in the hospital.
During his entire recovery, the hunter is bent on revenge. As soon as
he is able, he grabs his gun and goes after that black bear with blood
in his eye.
For two weeks he tracks down the black bear further and further north.
On the second day of the third week, he finally catches up to the big
black bear, draws down on him, and ends the life of his attacker.
The hunter runs over to the dead body of the black bear and spits on
it. As he murmurs to himself about how he finally got that no-good
black bear, he feels a presence behind him. As he turns, there's a
grizzly bear standing there, shaking his head. The gizzly says,
"Well, buddy, you know the code. What's it gonna be?"
Two months in the hospital. Our hunter now has taken on vengeance as
a reason to go on living. As soon as he can walk, he grabs his gun
and heads north.
For two months, our intrepid outdoorsman follows the movements of the
grizzly, without success. Halfway into the third month, he finally
finds that *(&%^ grizzly bear and pumps a half a dozen high-powered
rounds into his evil, evil hide.
With a half-crazed malevolent glare, he runs over to the corpse of the
grizzly cursing at the top of his lungs. As he draws his foot back to
begin kicking the dead bear, he feels a presence behind him.
A polar bear of record size is standing on his hind legs behind the
hunter. This huge animal is probably twelve feet at the shoulder, and
teeth that appear to be 6 inches long. The polar bear says to the
man,
"You don't come up here for the hunting, do you?"
-Phil Crow