cb

charlie b

26/11/2004 11:22 PM

You can lead a horse to water

Ex #2 is doing an "addition" to her house down
the street (take the house down to the floor
joists and go from there).

This morning she asked me "How much does
wood cost?" (see where this is heading?)

Rather than go into board feet, grades of
wood, types of wood, surfacing, thickness,
width etc. Iwent with "What do you want to
make or have made?"

In her future kitchen she wants a 24-26" wide
x 6 feet long x 2" thick "oak" slab serving and
eating surface/shelf/counter behind the sink
and stove top. And she doesn't want bread-
board ends - not the look she's going for.

Explained that boards that wide and long, and
for that matter, thick, in oak, if you could find
it out here in Silly Cone Valley, would be in
the $300 - $400+ range. AND it could "move"
almost 1/2" between min and max temp & relative
humidity if it's plain sawn (quarter sawn oak
in that width would be almost impossible to
come by out here). Given the location (the
relative humidity in a kitchen can get pretty
high and next to the sink and stove top...?)
I'd expect it to bow and/or cup without bread
board ends. Wood and water shouldn't go
together when the wood is furniture.

"Oh, I'll just seal the wood with poly. Then
moisture can't get to it so it won't be a
problem. They do it all the time."

"Oh kee dokee." says I and went out to the
shop. I know you can lead a horse to water
but ... I've also learned not to spit into the
wind. How custom furniture makers deal
with people like this is a mystery to me but
God Bless 'Em.

charlie b


This topic has 14 replies

pp

philski

in reply to charlie b on 26/11/2004 11:22 PM

28/11/2004 5:39 PM

charlie b wrote:
> Ex #2 is doing an "addition" to her house down
> the street (take the house down to the floor
> joists and go from there).
>
> This morning she asked me "How much does
> wood cost?" (see where this is heading?)
>
> Rather than go into board feet, grades of
> wood, types of wood, surfacing, thickness,
> width etc. Iwent with "What do you want to
> make or have made?"
>
> In her future kitchen she wants a 24-26" wide
> x 6 feet long x 2" thick "oak" slab serving and
> eating surface/shelf/counter behind the sink
> and stove top. And she doesn't want bread-
> board ends - not the look she's going for.
>
> Explained that boards that wide and long, and
> for that matter, thick, in oak, if you could find
> it out here in Silly Cone Valley, would be in
> the $300 - $400+ range. AND it could "move"
> almost 1/2" between min and max temp & relative
> humidity if it's plain sawn (quarter sawn oak
> in that width would be almost impossible to
> come by out here). Given the location (the
> relative humidity in a kitchen can get pretty
> high and next to the sink and stove top...?)
> I'd expect it to bow and/or cup without bread
> board ends. Wood and water shouldn't go
> together when the wood is furniture.
>
> "Oh, I'll just seal the wood with poly. Then
> moisture can't get to it so it won't be a
> problem. They do it all the time."
>
> "Oh kee dokee." says I and went out to the
> shop. I know you can lead a horse to water
> but ... I've also learned not to spit into the
> wind. How custom furniture makers deal
> with people like this is a mystery to me but
> God Bless 'Em.
>
> charlie b
Actually, Charlie B, they have disproved that you CAN lead a horse to
water and you CAN make them drink. This was proven by two Texans. (You
listenin' Joat?).... But it does take two Texans. One to hold the horses
head in the water and the other to get on it's ass and SUCK!!!

Philski

JJ

in reply to charlie b on 26/11/2004 11:22 PM

27/11/2004 4:01 PM

Fri, Nov 26, 2004, 11:22pm (EST-3) [email protected] (charlie=A0b)
says:
Ex #2 is doing an "addition" <snip>

I take it then that by this stage she is no longer spending "your"
money.



JOAT
Measure twice, cut once, swear repeatedly.

Gg

"G.E.R.R.Y."

in reply to charlie b on 26/11/2004 11:22 PM

27/11/2004 9:36 PM

In article <[email protected]>,
<[email protected]> wrote:

> Sleep? Isn't that a totally inadequate substitute for caffine?

Sorry, but I've read your sig line for the longest time and tried VERY
hard to keep from correcting you. I couldn't take it anymore, I broke
under the strain of it. ;-)

*caf·feine* also *caf·fein* n.

A bitter white alkaloid, often derived from tea or coffee and used in
medicine chiefly as a mild stimulant and to treat certain kinds of
headache.

Gerry

Gg

"George"

in reply to charlie b on 26/11/2004 11:22 PM

27/11/2004 8:00 AM

OTOH, one of the joys of quartersawn lumber is that it's easily (often
invisibly) pattern-matched to other QS lumber. Have to remember to make
the first rip on the annual rings, though. Bandsaw recommended. Otherwise
it meets at different angles.

Further, RH is the only factor in the expansion equation, and as most
moisture in a kitchen is accompanied by a rise in temperature, the RH change
might not be that bad. A breadboard end, which would telegraph every
movement, would look ridiculous, either short or long with long-term changes
in RH. Better to dovetail a few hidden crossgrain pieces, though I wouldn't
worry about the whole thing as long as both sides were treated to slow
response to transient RH levels.


"charlie b" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> In her future kitchen she wants a 24-26" wide
> x 6 feet long x 2" thick "oak" slab serving and
> eating surface/shelf/counter behind the sink
> and stove top. And she doesn't want bread-
> board ends - not the look she's going for.
>
> Explained that boards that wide and long, and
> for that matter, thick, in oak, if you could find
> it out here in Silly Cone Valley, would be in
> the $300 - $400+ range. AND it could "move"
> almost 1/2" between min and max temp & relative
> humidity if it's plain sawn (quarter sawn oak
> in that width would be almost impossible to
> come by out here). Given the location (the
> relative humidity in a kitchen can get pretty
> high and next to the sink and stove top...?)
> I'd expect it to bow and/or cup without bread
> board ends. Wood and water shouldn't go
> together when the wood is furniture.

Gg

"George"

in reply to charlie b on 26/11/2004 11:22 PM

29/11/2004 6:56 AM

Or, you could brick 'im....

"philski" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Actually, Charlie B, they have disproved that you CAN lead a horse to
> water and you CAN make them drink. This was proven by two Texans. (You
> listenin' Joat?).... But it does take two Texans. One to hold the horses
> head in the water and the other to get on it's ass and SUCK!!!
>
> Philski

bR

[email protected] (Robert Bonomi)

in reply to charlie b on 26/11/2004 11:22 PM

30/11/2004 5:20 AM

In article <[email protected]>,
Jon Endres, PE <[email protected]> wrote:
>> What we used to tell folks is to spell cafe with two ff's. Caffe
>(European
>> spelling?) Then add an "ine" to it.
>
>Two ff's? Wouldn't that make it "caffffeine"? Great for emphasis, I guess.
>:)

That's reserved for the stuff that the military regards as not fit to drink.
It's 4-F, after all.

EP

"Edwin Pawlowski"

in reply to charlie b on 26/11/2004 11:22 PM

29/11/2004 1:04 AM


charlie b wrote:
> Ex #2 is doing an "addition" to her house down
> the street (take the house down to the floor
> joists and go from there).

> This morning she asked me "How much does
> wood cost?" (see where this is heading?)

But you still did not answer the question. How much DOES wood cost?

JE

"Jon Endres, PE"

in reply to charlie b on 26/11/2004 11:22 PM

29/11/2004 5:34 PM

> What we used to tell folks is to spell cafe with two ff's. Caffe
(European
> spelling?) Then add an "ine" to it.

Two ff's? Wouldn't that make it "caffffeine"? Great for emphasis, I guess.
:)

JE

dD

[email protected] (Dan Cullimore)

in reply to charlie b on 26/11/2004 11:22 PM

29/11/2004 8:56 AM

philski <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...

snipping charlie's lament...

> Actually, Charlie B, they have disproved that you CAN lead a horse to
> water and you CAN make them drink. This was proven by two Texans. (You
> listenin' Joat?).... But it does take two Texans. One to hold the horses
> head in the water and the other to get on it's ass and SUCK!!!
>
> Philski

LOL. Seriously.

Dan

b

in reply to charlie b on 26/11/2004 11:22 PM

28/11/2004 7:00 PM

On Mon, 29 Nov 2004 01:04:01 GMT, "Edwin Pawlowski" <[email protected]>
wrote:

>
> charlie b wrote:
>> Ex #2 is doing an "addition" to her house down
>> the street (take the house down to the floor
>> joists and go from there).
>
>> This morning she asked me "How much does
>> wood cost?" (see where this is heading?)
>
>But you still did not answer the question. How much DOES wood cost?
>


it sounds like this particular wood will cost WAAAAYYY too much...

LJ

Larry Jaques

in reply to charlie b on 26/11/2004 11:22 PM

03/12/2004 5:47 PM

On Sat, 27 Nov 2004 14:50:23 GMT, [email protected] calmly
ranted:

>On Fri, 26 Nov 2004 23:22:23 -0800, charlie b <[email protected]>
>wrote:
>
>>Ex #2 is doing an "addition" to her house down
-snip of typ-
>>"Oh kee dokee." says I and went out to the
>>shop. I know you can lead a horse to water
>>but ... I've also learned not to spit into the
>>wind. How custom furniture makers deal
>>with people like this is a mystery to me but
>>God Bless 'Em.
>>
>>charlie b
>
>In the immortal words of the Firesign Theater: " Bombadier, it's your
>karma, baby."
>
>Having been married to the woman, you probably already know this, but:
>This is not a project you want to get involved with in any way, shape
>or form.

Natch. That Ex #2 is definitely a candidate for reGrooving.


-------------------------------------------
Stain and Poly are their own punishment
http://diversify.com Comprehensive Website Design
======================================================

DW

Doug Winterburn

in reply to charlie b on 26/11/2004 11:22 PM

29/11/2004 7:19 AM

On Mon, 29 Nov 2004 06:56:48 -0500, George wrote:

> Or, you could brick 'im....

Thought that was just for filling up your camel.

-Doug

r

in reply to charlie b on 26/11/2004 11:22 PM

27/11/2004 2:50 PM

On Fri, 26 Nov 2004 23:22:23 -0800, charlie b <[email protected]>
wrote:

>Ex #2 is doing an "addition" to her house down
>the street (take the house down to the floor
>joists and go from there).
>
>This morning she asked me "How much does
>wood cost?" (see where this is heading?)
>
>Rather than go into board feet, grades of
>wood, types of wood, surfacing, thickness,
>width etc. Iwent with "What do you want to
>make or have made?"
>
>In her future kitchen she wants a 24-26" wide
>x 6 feet long x 2" thick "oak" slab serving and
>eating surface/shelf/counter behind the sink
>and stove top. And she doesn't want bread-
>board ends - not the look she's going for.
>
>Explained that boards that wide and long, and
>for that matter, thick, in oak, if you could find
>it out here in Silly Cone Valley, would be in
>the $300 - $400+ range. AND it could "move"
>almost 1/2" between min and max temp & relative
>humidity if it's plain sawn (quarter sawn oak
>in that width would be almost impossible to
>come by out here). Given the location (the
>relative humidity in a kitchen can get pretty
>high and next to the sink and stove top...?)
>I'd expect it to bow and/or cup without bread
>board ends. Wood and water shouldn't go
>together when the wood is furniture.
>
>"Oh, I'll just seal the wood with poly. Then
>moisture can't get to it so it won't be a
>problem. They do it all the time."
>
>"Oh kee dokee." says I and went out to the
>shop. I know you can lead a horse to water
>but ... I've also learned not to spit into the
>wind. How custom furniture makers deal
>with people like this is a mystery to me but
>God Bless 'Em.
>
>charlie b

In the immortal words of the Firesign Theater: " Bombadier, it's your
karma, baby."

Having been married to the woman, you probably already know this, but:
This is not a project you want to get involved with in any way, shape
or form.

--RC
Sleep? Isn't that a totally inadequate substitute for caffine?

LM

"Lee Michaels"

in reply to charlie b on 26/11/2004 11:22 PM

28/11/2004 10:04 AM


"G.E.R.R.Y." <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:271120042136433035%[email protected]...
> In article <[email protected]>,
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > Sleep? Isn't that a totally inadequate substitute for caffine?
>
> Sorry, but I've read your sig line for the longest time and tried VERY
> hard to keep from correcting you. I couldn't take it anymore, I broke
> under the strain of it. ;-)
>
> *caf·feine* also *caf·fein* n.
>
> A bitter white alkaloid, often derived from tea or coffee and used in
> medicine chiefly as a mild stimulant and to treat certain kinds of
> headache.
>
As someone who used to be in the coffee biz, I can tell you that this
mistake is quite common.

What we used to tell folks is to spell cafe with two ff's. Caffe (European
spelling?) Then add an "ine" to it.

Caffeine



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