My mother finally sent me a joke that is actually funny.
Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to
open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next
to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red
rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed.
Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins,
cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the
bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the mirror:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping- Love
you!"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast
and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table. Jack asks,
"Son...what happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You
broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when
you ran into the door."
=A0=A0=A0=A0"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I
have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when
she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady!
I'm
married!"
Broken furniture - $855.26
Hot Breakfast - $4.20
Red Rose bud -$3.00
Two Aspirins -$0.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless.
JOAT
A rolling stone gathers no moss...unless it's a hobby he does on the
weekends.
[email protected] wrote:
> Hee-hee-hoo! I made my wife read it, she said "Do you think he was
> really drunk or was it careful planning on the way home?"
>
> Tom in KY,
>
> "Trying to get back home from a place he never should have been. And
> the thunder rolled,," Garth Brooks
might have been the latter:
So this guy meets his mistress after work one summer eveneing after
telling his wife he has to work an hour late. He falls asleep
afterwards and wakes up in a panic at 10:30. As he's rushing to get
dressed, he tells his lover to go rub his shoes in the grass before he
puts them on.
On arriving home to an extremely pissed off wife, he says "Honey, I
can't lie to you. I was with another woman. We met after work and I
accidentally fell asleep"
She takes a look at his shoes and says "Don't lie to me you bastard!
You've been GOLFING again!"
J T wrote:
> My mother finally sent me a joke that is actually funny.
>
> Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to
> open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next
> to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red
> rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
> pressed.
snip
That's a keeper JT
It just goes to show that every now and again we do say the right thing.
Either by accident or on purpose :)
regards
John
On Sun, 11 Dec 2005 10:08:25 -0500, [email protected] (J T)
wrote:
>
> Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
>
>she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady!
>I'm
>married!"
>
>Broken furniture - $855.26
>Hot Breakfast - $4.20
>Red Rose bud -$3.00
>Two Aspirins -$0.38
>Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless.
Thanks! That was funny!
On 11 Dec 2005 09:51:23 -0800, [email protected] wrote:
>Hee-hee-hoo! I made my wife read it, she said "Do you think he was
>really drunk or was it careful planning on the way home?"
>
>Tom in KY,
>
If he did, he's a better, smarter man than I am. I've never been in
that much control of my faculties in similar situations.
"J T" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
My mother finally sent me a joke that is actually funny.
His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when
she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady!
I'm
married!"
tell mom "thanks" from the rest of us