gi

"gary in virginia"

19/05/2006 5:19 PM

OT- Humor - For you Net Nannies - English Lesson


Since we're now living in the time of e-mail and the more common use of the
written language, it is time for an English lesson.



So, here are some rules to keep in mind when using the Queen's Engerlish:




- Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.



- And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.



- Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat).



- Always avoid annoying alliteration.



- Be more or less specific.



- Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.



- Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.



- No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad too.



- Contractions aren't helpful and shouldn't be used.



- Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.



- Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly
superfluous.



- One should never generalize.



- Don't use no double negatives.



- Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.



- One-word sentences? Eliminate.



- Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.



- Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.



- Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.



- Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.



- If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: resist
hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.



- Puns are for children, not groan readers.



- Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.



- Who needs rhetorical questions?



- Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.



- Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.





- From the book "Fumblerules" by William Safire


This topic has 6 replies

jj

jo4hn

in reply to "gary in virginia" on 19/05/2006 5:19 PM

20/05/2006 10:47 AM

gary in virginia wrote:
>
>
>
> - Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
[snippage]

Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will
not put.
(Churchill IIRC)
jo4hn

jj

jo4hn

in reply to "gary in virginia" on 19/05/2006 5:19 PM

20/05/2006 3:56 PM

gary in virginia wrote:

> Since we're now living in the time of e-mail and the more common use of the
> written language, it is time for an English lesson.
>
[snip]
Take a look at http://www.yourdictionary.com/library/drlang001.html just
for the halibut...
:-)
jo4hn

bR

[email protected] (Robert Bonomi)

in reply to "gary in virginia" on 19/05/2006 5:19 PM

21/05/2006 1:27 PM

In article <[email protected]>,
George E. Cawthon <[email protected]> wrote:
>Max wrote:
>> "jo4hn" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>> news:[email protected]...
>>
>>>gary in virginia wrote:
>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>- Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
>>>
>>>[snippage]
>>>
>>>Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not
>>>put.
>>>(Churchill IIRC)
>>>jo4hn
>>
>>
>> "This is a form of pedantry up with which I will not put"
>>
>> Winston Churchill
>>
>> Max (who repeatedly stumbles in his struggles with grammar)
>>
>>
>If one writes in the active case, one won't have
>such problems. "I won't put up with this form of
>pedantry.
>
>I doubt that that the Churchill quote is actual
>unless it was made in jest.

Sir Winston _did_ say it. Deliberately, and 'with malice aforethought' as it
were. A response when chastised by a stuffy matron for 'violating' the "rule"
against it.

cb

charlie b

in reply to "gary in virginia" on 19/05/2006 5:19 PM

20/05/2006 11:00 AM

Great "Rules to Write By" - though typically ignored her;
for good reason - don't want 'em gettin' in the weigh of
communicatin' ideas and stuff.

Do you think that Yale is embarassed every time the
words Dubya and Yale are mentioned together? Is
guilt by association .

Is a male flasher and example of
- a dangling proposition?

charlie b

GE

"George E. Cawthon"

in reply to "gary in virginia" on 19/05/2006 5:19 PM

20/05/2006 10:39 PM

Max wrote:
> "jo4hn" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>
>>gary in virginia wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>
>>>- Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
>>
>>[snippage]
>>
>>Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not
>>put.
>>(Churchill IIRC)
>>jo4hn
>
>
> "This is a form of pedantry up with which I will not put"
>
> Winston Churchill
>
> Max (who repeatedly stumbles in his struggles with grammar)
>
>
If one writes in the active case, one won't have
such problems. "I won't put up with this form of
pedantry.

I doubt that that the Churchill quote is actual
unless it was made in jest.

Mt

"Max"

in reply to "gary in virginia" on 19/05/2006 5:19 PM

20/05/2006 6:03 PM


"jo4hn" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> gary in virginia wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>> - Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
> [snippage]
>
> Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not
> put.
> (Churchill IIRC)
> jo4hn

"This is a form of pedantry up with which I will not put"

Winston Churchill

Max (who repeatedly stumbles in his struggles with grammar)


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