How many forum posters does it take to
change a light bulb?
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light
bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
53 to flame the spell checkers
41 to correct spelling/grammar flames
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another
6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb"
is perfectly correct
156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation
of their "acceptable use policy"
109 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this
discussion to a lightbulb forum
203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and
lightbulb forum about changing light bulbs be stopped
111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs
and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this forum
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy
the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for
this technique and what brands are faulty
27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's
3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this
group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all
headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot
handle the light bulb controversy
19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ
44 to ask what is a "FAQ"
4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about
light bulbs"
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start
it all over again"
On Wed, 13 Aug 2003 01:28:04 GMT, john carlson
<[email protected]> pixelated:
>On Tue, 12 Aug 2003 01:21:40 GMT, "Lee Michaels"
><leemichaels*nada-spam*@comcast.net> wrote:
>><snip>
>Hilarious!
>... but you forgot
>83 Neanders to propose that all lightbulbs be replaced with kerosene
>lanterns
>47 to propose splitting the group into rec.woodworking.lightbulbs and
>rec.woodworking.kerosene-lanterns
Coal and/or whale oil, not kerosene.
-
Press HERE to arm. (Release to detonate.)
-----------
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Mebbe he should return the Alaskan obsevations?
On Wed, 13 Aug 2003 16:28:50 GMT, "Leon"
<[email protected]> wrote:
>That confirmed my suspicions... :~)
"Lee Michaels" <leemichaels*nada-spam*@comcast.net> wrote in message news:<EiXZa.86449$Oz4.21486@rwcrnsc54>...
> How many forum posters does it take to
> change a light bulb?
>
> [snip]
You forgot to include the wreck.wood.variations on light bulbs:
Twelve to argue about which is better, light bulbs or candles.
Fifteen to argue about whether Nahm or Roy make better light bulbs.
Twenty to ask where they can find plans for light bulbs.
Thirty to say that Sears used to make great light bulbs, and thirty
more to say that they suck.
Forty to ask what sort of finish to use on a light bulb.
Chuck Vance
Just say (tmPL) And JOAT to post a url to how to make a light
bulb. :-)
Conan states:
>> How many forum posters does it take to
>> change a light bulb?
>>
>> [snip]
>
> You forgot to include the wreck.wood.variations on light bulbs:
>
> Twelve to argue about which is better, light bulbs or candles.
>
> Fifteen to argue about whether Nahm or Roy make better light bulbs.
And on. But let's not forget fluorescents, the arguments over 4' versus 8'
(takes 6 posters), whether or not cold weather fluors are worthwhile (another
27), and what kind of ballast is best...58 more.
And then comes fluor color balance for 113 more.
Charlie Self
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm
commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe."
Dan Quayle
That one is on that CD some guy is selling on Ebay about light bulbs...
"B a r r y B u r k e J r ." <[email protected]> wrote
in message news:[email protected]...
> On 12 Aug 2003 13:15:35 GMT, [email protected] (Charlie Self)
> wrote:
>
> >Conan states:
> >
> >>> How many forum posters does it take to
> >>> change a light bulb?
> >>>
> >>> [snip]
> >>
> >> You forgot to include the wreck.wood.variations on light bulbs:
> >>
> >> Twelve to argue about which is better, light bulbs or candles.
> >>
> >> Fifteen to argue about whether Nahm or Roy make better light bulbs.
> >
> >And on. But let's not forget fluorescents, the arguments over 4' versus
8'
> >(takes 6 posters), whether or not cold weather fluors are worthwhile
(another
> >27), and what kind of ballast is best...58 more.
> >
> >And then comes fluor color balance for 113 more.
> >
> >Charlie Self
>
>
> What about FREE online listings of plans for changing the bulb?
>
> Barry
On 12 Aug 2003 13:15:35 GMT, [email protected] (Charlie Self)
wrote:
>Conan states:
>
>>> How many forum posters does it take to
>>> change a light bulb?
>>>
>>> [snip]
>>
>> You forgot to include the wreck.wood.variations on light bulbs:
>>
>> Twelve to argue about which is better, light bulbs or candles.
>>
>> Fifteen to argue about whether Nahm or Roy make better light bulbs.
>
>And on. But let's not forget fluorescents, the arguments over 4' versus 8'
>(takes 6 posters), whether or not cold weather fluors are worthwhile (another
>27), and what kind of ballast is best...58 more.
>
>And then comes fluor color balance for 113 more.
>
>Charlie Self
What about FREE online listings of plans for changing the bulb?
Barry
Go to the archives and check out thread
"Observations about the rec w/ addendums"
from 6 months ago. SOS.
Art
"Lee Michaels" <leemichaels*nada-spam*@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:EiXZa.86449$Oz4.21486@rwcrnsc54...
>
>
> How many forum posters does it take to
> change a light bulb?
>
[snip]
>
> 1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start
> it all over again"
>
"Lee Michaels" <leemichaels*nada-spam*@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:EiXZa.86449$Oz4.21486@rwcrnsc54...
>
>
> How many forum posters does it take to
> change a light bulb?
(Highly amusing text snipped ..)
The answer from the information you so helpfully provided, Lee, is 564 ..
that's 562, plus you to ask the question, plus 1 more to tell you the answer
.....
Have a nice day. :o) :o) :o)
john carlson wrote:
> ... but you forgot
>
> 83 Neanders to propose that all lightbulbs be replaced with kerosene
> lanterns
Feh. Not archaic enough for a real Neander. Hafta use whale oil and split
into rec.woodworking.lanterns.kerosene and
rec.woodworking.lanterns.traditional
--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
Confirmed post number: 17178 Approximate word count: 515340
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
and please, don't forget to wear eye protection when changing
lightbulbs.
On Tue, 12 Aug 2003 11:52:35 +0100, "Mike Faithfull"
<[email protected]> wrote:
>"Lee Michaels" <leemichaels*nada-spam*@comcast.net> wrote in message
>news:EiXZa.86449$Oz4.21486@rwcrnsc54...
>>
>>
>> How many forum posters does it take to
>> change a light bulb?
>
>(Highly amusing text snipped ..)
>
>The answer from the information you so helpfully provided, Lee, is 564 ..
>that's 562, plus you to ask the question, plus 1 more to tell you the answer
>.....
>
>Have a nice day. :o) :o) :o)
>
On Tue, 12 Aug 2003 01:21:40 GMT, "Lee Michaels"
<leemichaels*nada-spam*@comcast.net> wrote:
>
>
>How many forum posters does it take to
>change a light bulb?
>
>1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
>
<snip>
Craftsman light bulbs are worthless.
Use Delta or Powermatic bulbs only.
On Tue, 12 Aug 2003 01:21:40 GMT, "Lee Michaels"
<leemichaels*nada-spam*@comcast.net> Crawled out of the shop and said.
. .:
>
>
>How many forum posters does it take to
>change a light bulb?
snip
Priceless Lee, positively priceless.
OTOH, you should have posted this to some alt.ot.humor group. . .
(sorry, couldn't resist *G*)
Traves
On Tue, 12 Aug 2003 01:21:40 GMT, "Lee Michaels"
<leemichaels*nada-spam*@comcast.net> wrote:
>
><snip>
Hilarious!
... but you forgot
83 Neanders to propose that all lightbulbs be replaced with kerosene
lanterns
47 to propose splitting the group into rec.woodworking.lightbulbs and
rec.woodworking.kerosene-lanterns
-- jc
Published e-mail address is strictly for spam collection.
If e-mailing me, please use jc631 at optonline dot net
On Wed, 13 Aug 2003 03:23:07 GMT, Larry Levinson
<[email protected]> wrote:
>and please, don't forget to wear eye protection when changing
>lightbulbs.
And call a licensed electrician! <G>
Barry
On Wed, 13 Aug 2003 03:23:07 GMT, Larry Levinson
<[email protected]> pixelated:
>and please, don't forget to wear eye protection when changing
>lightbulbs.
There is no such animal as a "light bulb". (See attached story)
The Dark Sucker Theory
For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but
recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit
light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The
Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark
has mass and is heavier than light.
First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck
dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There
is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger
the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers
in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the
ones in this room.
So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are
full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot
on a full Dark Sucker. The dark which has been absorbed is then
transmitted by pylons along to power plants where the machinery uses
fossil fuel to destroy it.
A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick.
You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black,
representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a
pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black.
This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle.
One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their
limited range.
There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle
all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit.
When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or
replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.
Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the
mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark
Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into
a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great
amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating
candle.
This is easily proven for lightbulbs too. When you compress a gas, it
gets hot, right? So the light bulb gets hot because of all the dark
being squished into the wires.
Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the
surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to
slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and
darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This
is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the
lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.
Dark Suckers are only able to suck dark in a straight line. Dark,
because of its mass, will not penetrate solid, opaque objects as it is
being sucked by a Dark Sucker. When a Dark Sucker is operating, you
will notice that dark that is behind a solid, opaque object does not
flow through the object or around it to the Dark Sucker. Some of the
dark will accumulate on the side of the object away from the Dark
Sucker as the Dark Sucker attempts to pull it through the object.
These residual patches of dark are often referred to as `shadows.'
Some surfaces are able to function as secondary Dark Suckers by
sucking the dark from behind solid objects at an angle and then
rerouting it to the primary Dark Sucker. These surfaces have a
property we refer to as `reflective.'
Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to
stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly
opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the
closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the
dark leave the closet.
So next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is not a light
emitter but a Dark Sucker.
(found on a BBS in '94 or so)
-
Press HERE to arm. (Release to detonate.)
-----------
http://diversify.com Website Application Programming