Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on
Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the
afterlife.
Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of
virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25%
this February, from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the
increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent
shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bomber's union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs
(BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members
and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir
told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in
the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return, and to be treated like
this is like a kick in the teeth."
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in which he currently
resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize
with our workers concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet
their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day
Jihad in a competitive marketplace.
Thanks to Western depravity there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in
the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and
laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell
3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
Spokespersons for the Union in the north east of England, Ireland, Wales,
and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect
their operations, as "there are no virgins in their areas anyway."
Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to
the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know
what an actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on going to paradise.
"Just Wondering" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On 11/23/2010 4:38 AM, George W Frost wrote:
>> "Just Wondering"<[email protected]> wrote in message
>> news:[email protected]...
>>> On 11/22/2010 7:26 PM, Josepi wrote:
>>>> Can we say "towel" online still?
>>>>
>>>
>>> No, you can't say towel. It's a little sheet.
>>
>> That would give you the sheets wouldn't it ??
>>
>>
> Well, instead of the wearers being towel heads, they're little sheet
> heads.
Utter crap
"Upscale" wrote:
> "ChairMan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>> Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put
>> down to the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle - now
>> that Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like they are not so
>> keen on going to paradise.
>
> Ok, that one made me laugh.
-----------------------------------
Enjoy
Lew
------------------------------------
Atlanta Airport (Hart Field)
You gotta love this one even if you've never lived in the South.
Some of you will enjoy this more than others..
Southerners can be so polite!
Atlanta ATC:
"Tower to Saudi Air 511 --
You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R
Saudi Air:
"Thank you Atlanta ATC.
Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R
Allah be Praised."
Atlanta ATC:
"Tower to Iran Air 711 --
You are cleared to land westbound on runway 270L."
Iran Air:
"Thank you Atlanta ATC.
We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 270L.
Allah is Great."
Pause...**
Saudi Air:
" ATLANTA ATC - ATLANTA ATC"**
Atlanta ATC:
"Go ahead Saudi Air 511."
Saudi Air:
"YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFTS
FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE
DIRECTIONS.
WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE...
INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE."**
Atlanta ATC:
"Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus.
Y'all be careful now and tell Allah "hey" for us -- "
On 11/23/2010 4:38 AM, George W Frost wrote:
> "Just Wondering"<[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> On 11/22/2010 7:26 PM, Josepi wrote:
>>> Can we say "towel" online still?
>>>
>>
>> No, you can't say towel. It's a little sheet.
>
> That would give you the sheets wouldn't it ??
>
>
Well, instead of the wearers being towel heads, they're little sheet heads.
On 11/23/2010 2:50 PM, George W Frost wrote:
> "Just Wondering"<[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> On 11/23/2010 4:38 AM, George W Frost wrote:
>>> "Just Wondering"<[email protected]> wrote in message
>>> news:[email protected]...
>>>> On 11/22/2010 7:26 PM, Josepi wrote:
>>>>> Can we say "towel" online still?
>>>>
>>>> No, you can't say towel. It's a little sheet.
>>>
>>> That would give you the sheets wouldn't it ??
>>>
>> Well, instead of the wearers being towel heads, they're little sheet
>> heads.
>
> Utter crap
>
Uh, it's a joke. I also tell blond jokes even though my wife is a blond
and doesn't fit the stereotype, and laugh at lawyer jokes although I'm a
lawyer myself and know very few lawyers fit the stereotypes. So it's
your choice, you can either lighten up or go through life as a crab.
"Just Wondering" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On 11/22/2010 7:26 PM, Josepi wrote:
>> Can we say "towel" online still?
>>
>
> No, you can't say towel. It's a little sheet.
That would give you the sheets woodn't it ??
"Lew Hodgett" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "Upscale" wrote:
>
>> Lew, I hope you've taken suitable precautions when it comes to avoiding
>> all those IED's planted around your place.
>
> -----------------------------------
> It's a way of life.
>
> Lew
>
And a new and different way to your front door
"ChairMan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on
> Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the
> afterlife.
Humor factor on a scale from 1 to 10 = .5
"ChairMan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to
> the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know
> what an actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on going to
> paradise.
Ok, that one made me laugh.
Can we say "towel" online still?
"George W Frost" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
You would have to have a towel wrapped around your head to give that rating
I give it a +10
"ChairMan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on
> Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the
> afterlife.
Ya know, as far as a labor pool goes, suicide bombers trend the same as
other groups. The biggest slackers have the most seniority.
"CW" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "ChairMan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on
>> Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in
>> the afterlife.
>
> Humor factor on a scale from 1 to 10 = .5
>
You would have to have a towel wrapped around your head to give that rating
I give it a +10
I'll consider that a "wrap".
"George W Frost" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
Utter crap
"Just Wondering" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
Well, instead of the wearers being towel heads, they're little sheet
heads.
"Lew Hodgett" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> Atlanta ATC:
> "Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus.
> Y'all be careful now and tell Allah "hey" for us -- "
Lew, I hope you've taken suitable precautions when it comes to avoiding all
those IED's planted around your place.
On Nov 22, 5:00=A0pm, "George W Frost" <[email protected]> wrote:
> "CW" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>
> news:[email protected]...
>
>
>
> > "ChairMan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> >news:[email protected]...
> >> Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike =
on
> >> Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in
> >> the afterlife.
>
> > Humor factor on a scale from 1 to 10 =3D .5
>
> You would have to have a towel wrapped around your head to give that rati=
ng
>
> I give it a +10
I thought it was hilarious.
ChairMan wrote:
> Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on
> Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the
> afterlife.
>
>
> Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
>
> The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of
> virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25%
> this February, from 72 to only 60.
These blatant math errors surely aren't funny!
Maybe if they recalculated there wouldn't be a strike at all!
The rationale for the cut was the
> increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent
> shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
>
> The suicide bomber's union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs
> (BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members
> and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir
> told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in
> the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return, and to be treated like
> this is like a kick in the teeth."
>
> Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in which he currently
> resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize
> with our workers concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet
> their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day
> Jihad in a competitive marketplace.
>
> Thanks to Western depravity there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in
> the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and
> laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell
> 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
>
> Spokespersons for the Union in the north east of England, Ireland, Wales,
> and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect
> their operations, as "there are no virgins in their areas anyway."
>
> Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to
> the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know
> what an actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on going to paradise.
>
>
>
>
"Josepi" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Can we say "towel" online still?
Shaken, not wrapped ...
>
>
> "George W Frost" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> You would have to have a towel wrapped around your head to give that
> rating
>
> I give it a +10
>
>
>
>
>
--
If your name is No, I voted for you - more than once ...
"Just Wondering" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On 11/23/2010 2:50 PM, George W Frost wrote:
>> "Just Wondering"<[email protected]> wrote in message
>> news:[email protected]...
>>> On 11/23/2010 4:38 AM, George W Frost wrote:
>>>> "Just Wondering"<[email protected]> wrote in message
>>>> news:[email protected]...
>>>>> On 11/22/2010 7:26 PM, Josepi wrote:
>>>>>> Can we say "towel" online still?
>>>>>
>>>>> No, you can't say towel. It's a little sheet.
>>>>
>>>> That would give you the sheets wouldn't it ??
>>>>
>>> Well, instead of the wearers being towel heads, they're little sheet
>>> heads.
>>
>> Utter crap
>>
> Uh, it's a joke. I also tell blond jokes even though my wife is a blond
> and doesn't fit the stereotype, and laugh at lawyer jokes although I'm a
> lawyer myself and know very few lawyers fit the stereotypes. So it's your
> choice, you can either lighten up or go through life as a crab.
I guess that you have to learn to read between the lines on word play
towel =
gives you the sheets =
little sheet heads =
utter crap
just a play on words old son
Shirley you have heard such jokes before