A jazz trio is playing a gig at an upscale nightclub. They play a
classic bebop tune at a fleet tempo with grace and ease. Then comes a
Wayne Shorter composition filled with mysterious harmonies, poignant
melodies and daring improvisations. Next they present a medley of
lesser known Harold Arlen songs that only a connoisseur would
recognize, again played with elegant styling and exquisite taste.
The whole evening has been one dazzling performance after another.
Though the trio is playing background music and not a formal concert ,
the audience can sense that the musical display they are
witnessing is of such a high caliber that the musicians should be
allowed to perform as they please without interference.
Then a well-dressed middle-aged man approaches the bandstand and asks
the pianist "Can you play Lara's Theme from Dr. Zhivago?" The pianist
tells the man that they are jazz musicians and that they usually
don't take requests of that sort. The man reaches into his coat
pocket and pulls out three one hundred dollar bills which he lays out
on the piano. The pianist looks at the bass player and drummer and
says "Lara's Theme in G."
They play the tune in the fashion of the original version, the
pianist emulating the Balalaika textures with a delicate upper
register tremolo. The song obviously does not present the same level
of difficulty that the trio is accustomed to dealing with.
As the pianist plays, he absent-mindedly gazes at the soundboard of
his ebony Steinway B and wonders about the grain in the wood. How
would the tonal characteristics be altered if the grain of the
soundboard ran perpendicular to the strings rather than parallel, he
silently asks himself.
The bass player amuses himself with an assortment of well-placed
double-stops and harmonics. He daydreams as he looks at the top of
his mid-nineteenth century double bass made by French master, Paul
Claudot, and wonders "How many times has the top been varnished, how
did the varnish of past years differ from today's, how would the
resonance properties be affected if there were no varnish at all?
The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
"One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
--
dadiOH
____________________________
dadiOH's dandies v3.06...
...a help file of info about MP3s, recording from
LP/cassette and tips & tricks on this and that.
Get it at http://mysite.verizon.net/xico
On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 12:20:00 -0400, "dadiOH" <[email protected]>
wrote:
>Larry Jaques wrote:
>> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:17:37 -0400, "dadiOH" <[email protected]>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
>>> 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
>>> "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
>>
>> Har! I'm sending that on to some musician friends who'll love it.
>
>Use Steve's drum description, it's much better.
I sent both. <g> Two points each, guys.
--
Live Simply. Speak Kindly. Care Deeply. Love Generously.
-- anon
On Thursday, April 12, 2012 7:46:25 AM UTC-7, Twayne wrote:
> Don't llook now fool, but the name of this group isn't "OT" . Your post is
> a hindrance and nonsense to those who pay for 'net time by the minute. Keep
> it up and i may begin a flood based on your post!
>
>
> In news:[email protected],
> dadiOH <[email protected]> typed:
> > A jazz trio is playing a gig at an upscale nightclub.
> > They play a classic bebop tune at a fleet tempo with
> > grace and ease. Then comes a Wayne Shorter composition
> > filled with mysterious harmonies, poignant melodies and
> > daring improvisations. Next they present a medley of
> > lesser known Harold Arlen songs that only a connoisseur
> > would recognize, again played with elegant styling and
> > exquisite taste.
> > The whole evening has been one dazzling performance after
> > another. Though the trio is playing background music and
> > not a formal concert , the audience can sense that the
> > musical display they are witnessing is of such a high caliber that the
> > musicians
> > should be allowed to perform as they please without
> > interference.
> > Then a well-dressed middle-aged man approaches the
> > bandstand and asks the pianist "Can you play Lara's Theme
> > from Dr. Zhivago?" The pianist tells the man that they
> > are jazz musicians and that they usually don't take
> > requests of that sort. The man reaches into his coat
> > pocket and pulls out three one hundred dollar bills which
> > he lays out on the piano. The pianist looks at the bass
> > player and drummer and says "Lara's Theme in G."
> > They play the tune in the fashion of the original
> > version, the pianist emulating the Balalaika textures
> > with a delicate upper register tremolo. The song
> > obviously does not present the same level of difficulty
> > that the trio is accustomed to dealing with.
> > As the pianist plays, he absent-mindedly gazes at the
> > soundboard of his ebony Steinway B and wonders about the
> > grain in the wood. How would the tonal characteristics be
> > altered if the grain of the soundboard ran perpendicular
> > to the strings rather than parallel, he silently asks
> > himself.
> > The bass player amuses himself with an assortment of
> > well-placed double-stops and harmonics. He daydreams as
> > he looks at the top of his mid-nineteenth century double
> > bass made by French master, Paul Claudot, and wonders
> > "How many times has the top been varnished, how did the
> > varnish of past years differ from today's, how would the
> > resonance properties be affected if there were no varnish
> > at all?
> > The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight
> > head of his 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum
> > and thinks to himself, "One, two, three, one, two, three,
> > one, two, three."
Brains and you... never the twayne shall meet
Swingman wrote:
> On 4/12/2012 3:21 PM, Mike Marlow wrote:
>> -MIKE- wrote:
>>> On 4/12/12 2:15 PM, Mike Marlow wrote:
>>>> -MIKE- wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> What the difference between a toilet and a drummer?
>>>>> A toilet only has to carry one asshole at a time.
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Good one - I had not heard that one before.
>>>>
>>>
>>> I told ya, I gots a million of em. :-)
>>>
>>> Did you hear about the band who locked their keys in the van?
>>> It took them two hours to get the bass player out.
>>
>> Yup - heard that one. I figure it was Swingman the joke talks
>> about...
>
>
> Little Johnny says to his Mom "I want to be a drummer when I grow up".
>
> His Mom looks at him and says "But Johnny, you can't do both".
Another new one! Can you hear me chuckling from there?
--
-Mike-
[email protected]
On Friday, April 13, 2012 7:25:45 AM UTC-7, Steve Turner wrote:
> On 4/13/2012 8:14 AM, Greg Guarino wrote:
> > On 4/12/2012 5:34 PM, -MIKE- wrote:
> >> On 4/12/12 2:46 PM, Greg Guarino wrote:
> >>> On 4/12/2012 3:35 PM, -MIKE- wrote:
> >>>> On 4/12/12 2:24 PM, Greg Guarino wrote:
> >>>>> Little puffs of soot came out of the vent
> >>>>> holes with every tom hit.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>> Even if you made that up, it's f'n hilarious!!
> >>>> LMAO
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>> I didn't, and it was. I was there.
> >>>
> >>> The kit was black to begin with, so the damage may not have been obvious
> >>> to the audience (outdoor show). It was mostly the bags that had caught
> >>> fire, but some of the shells were charred. I don't know how he connived
> >>> the cop into giving him a lift after his car was towed, but he did,
> >>> arriving with the siren blaring and the lights flashing.
> >>
> >>
> >> I posted the story on my facebook Nashville drummers' group.
> >>
> >>
> > Some more drummer ingenuity:
> >
> > We have played in a wide variety of venues over the years. This one had a tile
> > floor, if memory serves. Tommy (the drummer)always arrives first; he's
> > generally set up (and halfway through a Heineken) by the time I stroll in. I
> > notice that rather than the usual carpet, his kit is sitting on the four floor
> > mats from his car. My Dad would refer to that sort of thing with an old Army
> > term: "field expedient".
>
> Ooh boy, forgetting to bring a rug to a gig where the setup surface is an
> unknown can lead to a very bad day. Been there, done that! You definitely
> learn to make do with the "tools" you have available to you.
>
> > One of our singers forgot to bring dress shoes to a tux gig. There was a time
> > when our bass player was the custodian of the Emergency Shoes, a set of old
> > Large-Enough-To-Fit-Anyone generic black dress shoes that he kept with the lug
> > wrench and jumper cables. But not anymore. Tommy had the solution: wear black
> > socks OVER your sneakers. No one noticed.
>
> LOL!
>
> --
> Any given amount of traffic flow, no matter how
> sparse, will expand to fill all available lanes.
> To reply, eat the taco.
> http://www.flickr.com/photos/bbqboyee/
Yes, use your shoe laces to tie the bass drum and highhat to your drummers stool.
-MIKE- wrote:
>
> What the difference between a toilet and a drummer?
> A toilet only has to carry one asshole at a time.
>
Good one - I had not heard that one before.
--
-Mike-
[email protected]
On 4/8/2012 9:03 AM, Theodore Edward Stosterone wrote:
> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:17:37 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
> wrote:
>
>> A jazz trio is playing a gig at an upscale nightclub. They play a
>> classic bebop tune at a fleet tempo with grace and ease. Then comes a
>> Wayne Shorter composition filled with mysterious harmonies, poignant
>> melodies and daring improvisations. Next they present a medley of
>> lesser known Harold Arlen songs that only a connoisseur would
>> recognize, again played with elegant styling and exquisite taste.
>>
>> The whole evening has been one dazzling performance after another.
>> Though the trio is playing background music and not a formal concert ,
>> the audience can sense that the musical display they are
>> witnessing is of such a high caliber that the musicians should be
>> allowed to perform as they please without interference.
>>
>> Then a well-dressed middle-aged man approaches the bandstand and asks
>> the pianist "Can you play Lara's Theme from Dr. Zhivago?" The pianist
>> tells the man that they are jazz musicians and that they usually
>> don't take requests of that sort. The man reaches into his coat
>> pocket and pulls out three one hundred dollar bills which he lays out
>> on the piano. The pianist looks at the bass player and drummer and
>> says "Lara's Theme in G."
>>
>> They play the tune in the fashion of the original version, the
>> pianist emulating the Balalaika textures with a delicate upper
>> register tremolo. The song obviously does not present the same level
>> of difficulty that the trio is accustomed to dealing with.
>>
>> As the pianist plays, he absent-mindedly gazes at the soundboard of
>> his ebony Steinway B and wonders about the grain in the wood. How
>> would the tonal characteristics be altered if the grain of the
>> soundboard ran perpendicular to the strings rather than parallel, he
>> silently asks himself.
>>
>> The bass player amuses himself with an assortment of well-placed
>> double-stops and harmonics. He daydreams as he looks at the top of
>> his mid-nineteenth century double bass made by French master, Paul
>> Claudot, and wonders "How many times has the top been varnished, how
>> did the varnish of past years differ from today's, how would the
>> resonance properties be affected if there were no varnish at all?
>>
>> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
>> 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
>> "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
>
> Q: What do auto workers and drummers have in common?
> A: They have machines for that now.
Q: Why are drum machines better than drummers?
A: They keep better time and won't sleep with your girlfriend.
--
Robert Allison
New Braunfels, TX
On 4/8/2012 9:44 PM, Larry Jaques wrote:
> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 18:34:19 -0700 (PDT), Robatoy
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > The jury is still out whether or not drummers ARE musicians.<g,d&r>
> Want to punish your neighbor? Buy their kid a drum set.
>
>
There are worse things:
A biology graduate student went to Borneo to take samples for his thesis
work. He hired a guide to take him up the river to the remote site where
he where he would make his collections. About noon on the second day of
travel they began to hear drums. The biologist asked the guide, "What
are those drums?"
The guide turned to him and said, "Drums OK, but VERY BAD when they stop."
Well, things went reasonably well for about two weeks. Then, just as
they were packing up camp to leave, the drums suddenly stopped! This
scared the biologist, and he yelled at the guide, "The drums have
stopped, what happens now?"
The guide crouched down, covered his head with his hands and said:
"Bass Solo"
In article <[email protected]>,
-MIKE- <[email protected]> wrote:
> I was trying to decide between calling him a moron or a douchebag, but
> couldn't make a choice. I just didn't want to cost him a fortune by
> calling him both.
Just ignore him.
--
Stuart Winsor
Only plain text for emails
http://www.asciiribbon.org
Twayne wrote:
> Don't llook now fool, but the name of this group isn't "OT" . Your
> post is a hindrance and nonsense to those who pay for 'net time by
> the minute. Keep it up and i may begin a flood based on your post!
>
If you are paying for "net time by the minute" in this day and age, it is
you who is the fool. If that were even true - it's kinda antithetical for
one who bitches about net time by the minute, to propose a "flood".
Conclusion - you are the same ass that you've been in every post you've ever
made here. Go ahead - create your "flood"...
--
-Mike-
[email protected]
Swingman wrote:
> On 4/8/2012 4:00 PM, -MIKE- wrote:
>> No one can keep up with me when it comes to musician jokes. :-)
>
> Hell, no one can keep up with any musician when it comes to drummer
> jokes.
> ;)
Drummer... joke - isn't that redundant?
--
-Mike-
[email protected]
On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:17:37 -0400, "dadiOH" <[email protected]>
wrote:
>A jazz trio is playing a gig at an upscale nightclub. They play a
>classic bebop tune at a fleet tempo with grace and ease. Then comes a
>Wayne Shorter composition filled with mysterious harmonies, poignant
>melodies and daring improvisations. Next they present a medley of
>lesser known Harold Arlen songs that only a connoisseur would
>recognize, again played with elegant styling and exquisite taste.
>
>The whole evening has been one dazzling performance after another.
>Though the trio is playing background music and not a formal concert ,
>the audience can sense that the musical display they are
>witnessing is of such a high caliber that the musicians should be
>allowed to perform as they please without interference.
>
>Then a well-dressed middle-aged man approaches the bandstand and asks
>the pianist "Can you play Lara's Theme from Dr. Zhivago?" The pianist
>tells the man that they are jazz musicians and that they usually
>don't take requests of that sort. The man reaches into his coat
>pocket and pulls out three one hundred dollar bills which he lays out
>on the piano. The pianist looks at the bass player and drummer and
>says "Lara's Theme in G."
>
>They play the tune in the fashion of the original version, the
>pianist emulating the Balalaika textures with a delicate upper
>register tremolo. The song obviously does not present the same level
>of difficulty that the trio is accustomed to dealing with.
>
>As the pianist plays, he absent-mindedly gazes at the soundboard of
>his ebony Steinway B and wonders about the grain in the wood. How
>would the tonal characteristics be altered if the grain of the
>soundboard ran perpendicular to the strings rather than parallel, he
>silently asks himself.
>
>The bass player amuses himself with an assortment of well-placed
>double-stops and harmonics. He daydreams as he looks at the top of
>his mid-nineteenth century double bass made by French master, Paul
>Claudot, and wonders "How many times has the top been varnished, how
>did the varnish of past years differ from today's, how would the
>resonance properties be affected if there were no varnish at all?
>
>The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
>1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
>"One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
Q: What do auto workers and drummers have in common?
A: They have machines for that now.
On 4/12/2012 12:34 PM, -MIKE- wrote:
> On 4/12/12 12:32 PM, Greg Guarino wrote:
>> On 4/8/2012 11:50 AM, Larry Jaques wrote:
>>> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:17:37 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
>>>> 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
>>>> "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
>>>
>>> Har! I'm sending that on to some musician friends who'll love it.
>>>
>>> --
>>> Live Simply. Speak Kindly. Care Deeply. Love Generously.
>>> -- anon
>>
>> Yep. Our group has a five-piece rhythm section...
>>
>> ...four musicians and a drummer.
>>
>> :)
>
>
> What the difference between a toilet and a drummer?
> A toilet only has to carry one asshole at a time.
That same drummer:
This band is playing a small bar, and the drummer is really drowning his
sorrows. Between sets he goes into the bathroom. Suddenly a
'blood-curdling scream rings through the bar. About 5 minutes latter a
shrill scream pierces the air of the bar again. The bartender decides
that he had better go see if this guy is okay. Pounding on the door he
asks, "Is everything ok in there?"
"No!" says the drummer. "I'm sittin' on the john, and I tried to flush
when something grabs me by the nuts! I tried again but the same thing
happened! Get help!"
The bartender says, "Let me see if I can help." He opens the door and
says, "You idiot! That's the mop-bucket!!"
--
www.eWoodShop.com
Last update: 4/15/2010
KarlCaillouet@ (the obvious)
http://gplus.to/eWoodShop
On 4/8/2012 4:00 PM, -MIKE- wrote:
> On 4/8/12 12:43 PM, Steve Turner wrote:
>> On 4/8/2012 12:14 PM, Larry Jaques wrote:
>>> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 12:20:00 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> Larry Jaques wrote:
>>>>> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:17:37 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
>>>>> wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
>>>>>> 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
>>>>>> "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
>>>>>
>>>>> Har! I'm sending that on to some musician friends who'll love it.
>>>>
>>>> Use Steve's drum description, it's much better.
>>>
>>> I sent both.<g> Two points each, guys.
>>
>> Glad I could enhance the experience of you guys making fun of me and
>> -MIKE- and Sonoma and the various other neanderthal percussionists that
>> hang out here. :-)
>>
>
> No one can keep up with me when it comes to musician jokes. :-)
Hell, no one can keep up with any musician when it comes to drummer jokes.
;)
--
www.eWoodShop.com
Last update: 4/15/2010
KarlCaillouet@ (the obvious)
http://gplus.to/eWoodShop
On Apr 8, 5:00=A0pm, -MIKE- <[email protected]> wrote:
> On 4/8/12 12:43 PM, Steve Turner wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > On 4/8/2012 12:14 PM, Larry Jaques wrote:
> >> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 12:20:00 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
> >> wrote:
>
> >>> Larry Jaques wrote:
> >>>> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:17:37 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
> >>>> wrote:
>
> >>>>> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of h=
is
> >>>>> 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
> >>>>> "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
>
> >>>> Har! I'm sending that on to some musician friends who'll love it.
>
> >>> Use Steve's drum description, it's much better.
>
> >> I sent both.<g> Two points each, guys.
>
> > Glad I could enhance the experience of you guys making fun of me and
> > -MIKE- and Sonoma and the various other neanderthal percussionists that
> > hang out here. :-)
>
> No one can keep up with me when it comes to musician jokes. =A0 :-)
>
> --
>
> =A0 -MIKE-
>
> =A0 "Playing is not something I do at night, it's my function in life"
> =A0 =A0 =A0--Elvin Jones =A0(1927-2004)
> =A0 --
> =A0http://mikedrums.com
> =A0 [email protected]
> =A0 ---remove "DOT" ^^^^ to reply
The jury is still out whether or not drummers ARE musicians. <g,d&r>
-MIKE- wrote:
> On 4/12/12 2:15 PM, Mike Marlow wrote:
>> -MIKE- wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> What the difference between a toilet and a drummer?
>>> A toilet only has to carry one asshole at a time.
>>>
>>
>>
>> Good one - I had not heard that one before.
>>
>
> I told ya, I gots a million of em. :-)
>
> Did you hear about the band who locked their keys in the van?
> It took them two hours to get the bass player out.
Yup - heard that one. I figure it was Swingman the joke talks about...
--
-Mike-
[email protected]
On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:17:37 -0400, "dadiOH" <[email protected]>
wrote:
>The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
>1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
>"One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
Har! I'm sending that on to some musician friends who'll love it.
--
Live Simply. Speak Kindly. Care Deeply. Love Generously.
-- anon
On 4/12/2012 12:34 PM, -MIKE- wrote:
> On 4/12/12 12:32 PM, Greg Guarino wrote:
>> On 4/8/2012 11:50 AM, Larry Jaques wrote:
>>> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:17:37 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
>>>> 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
>>>> "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
>>>
>>> Har! I'm sending that on to some musician friends who'll love it.
>>>
>>> --
>>> Live Simply. Speak Kindly. Care Deeply. Love Generously.
>>> -- anon
>>
>> Yep. Our group has a five-piece rhythm section...
>>
>> ...four musicians and a drummer.
>>
>> :)
>
>
> What the difference between a toilet and a drummer?
> A toilet only has to carry one asshole at a time.
How can you tell if a drummer has been doing the crossword?
All the squares have been colored in.
--
www.eWoodShop.com
Last update: 4/15/2010
KarlCaillouet@ (the obvious)
http://gplus.to/eWoodShop
On 4/12/2012 3:21 PM, Mike Marlow wrote:
> -MIKE- wrote:
>> On 4/12/12 2:15 PM, Mike Marlow wrote:
>>> -MIKE- wrote:
>>>
>>>>
>>>> What the difference between a toilet and a drummer?
>>>> A toilet only has to carry one asshole at a time.
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Good one - I had not heard that one before.
>>>
>>
>> I told ya, I gots a million of em. :-)
>>
>> Did you hear about the band who locked their keys in the van?
>> It took them two hours to get the bass player out.
>
> Yup - heard that one. I figure it was Swingman the joke talks about...
Little Johnny says to his Mom "I want to be a drummer when I grow up".
His Mom looks at him and says "But Johnny, you can't do both".
--
www.eWoodShop.com
Last update: 4/15/2010
KarlCaillouet@ (the obvious)
http://gplus.to/eWoodShop
On 4/8/2012 7:17 AM, dadiOH wrote:
> A jazz trio is playing a gig at an upscale nightclub. They play a
> classic bebop tune at a fleet tempo with grace and ease. Then comes a
> Wayne Shorter composition filled with mysterious harmonies, poignant
> melodies and daring improvisations. Next they present a medley of
> lesser known Harold Arlen songs that only a connoisseur would
> recognize, again played with elegant styling and exquisite taste.
>
> The whole evening has been one dazzling performance after another.
> Though the trio is playing background music and not a formal concert ,
> the audience can sense that the musical display they are
> witnessing is of such a high caliber that the musicians should be
> allowed to perform as they please without interference.
>
> Then a well-dressed middle-aged man approaches the bandstand and asks
> the pianist "Can you play Lara's Theme from Dr. Zhivago?" The pianist
> tells the man that they are jazz musicians and that they usually
> don't take requests of that sort. The man reaches into his coat
> pocket and pulls out three one hundred dollar bills which he lays out
> on the piano. The pianist looks at the bass player and drummer and
> says "Lara's Theme in G."
>
> They play the tune in the fashion of the original version, the
> pianist emulating the Balalaika textures with a delicate upper
> register tremolo. The song obviously does not present the same level
> of difficulty that the trio is accustomed to dealing with.
>
> As the pianist plays, he absent-mindedly gazes at the soundboard of
> his ebony Steinway B and wonders about the grain in the wood. How
> would the tonal characteristics be altered if the grain of the
> soundboard ran perpendicular to the strings rather than parallel, he
> silently asks himself.
>
> The bass player amuses himself with an assortment of well-placed
> double-stops and harmonics. He daydreams as he looks at the top of
> his mid-nineteenth century double bass made by French master, Paul
> Claudot, and wonders "How many times has the top been varnished, how
> did the varnish of past years differ from today's, how would the
> resonance properties be affected if there were no varnish at all?
>
> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
> 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
> "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
In my best Navin R. Johnson voice, "You sir, are talking to a drummer!"
Funny, but I think the joke could have done a better job of describing the
snare drum. "... his 1950's vintage Slingerland Radio King snare drum with a
single-ply, steam-bent Maple shell, three-point strainer, nickel-over-brass
stick-chopper hoops, and immaculate black oyster pearl finish..." :-)
--
Any given amount of traffic flow, no matter how
sparse, will expand to fill all available lanes.
To reply, eat the taco.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bbqboyee/
Larry Jaques wrote:
> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:17:37 -0400, "dadiOH" <[email protected]>
> wrote:
>
>> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
>> 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
>> "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
>
> Har! I'm sending that on to some musician friends who'll love it.
Use Steve's drum description, it's much better.
--
dadiOH
____________________________
dadiOH's dandies v3.06...
...a help file of info about MP3s, recording from
LP/cassette and tips & tricks on this and that.
Get it at http://mysite.verizon.net/xico
On 4/8/2012 12:14 PM, Larry Jaques wrote:
> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 12:20:00 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
> wrote:
>
>> Larry Jaques wrote:
>>> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:17:37 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
>>>> 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
>>>> "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
>>>
>>> Har! I'm sending that on to some musician friends who'll love it.
>>
>> Use Steve's drum description, it's much better.
>
> I sent both.<g> Two points each, guys.
Glad I could enhance the experience of you guys making fun of me and -MIKE- and
Sonoma and the various other neanderthal percussionists that hang out here. :-)
--
Any given amount of traffic flow, no matter how
sparse, will expand to fill all available lanes.
To reply, eat the taco.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bbqboyee/
Steve Turner wrote:
> On 4/8/2012 12:14 PM, Larry Jaques wrote:
>> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 12:20:00 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Larry Jaques wrote:
>>>> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:17:37 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of
>>>>> his 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to
>>>>> himself, "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
>>>>
>>>> Har! I'm sending that on to some musician friends who'll love it.
>>>
>>> Use Steve's drum description, it's much better.
>>
>> I sent both.<g> Two points each, guys.
>
> Glad I could enhance the experience of you guys making fun of me and
> -MIKE- and Sonoma and the various other neanderthal percussionists
> that hang out here. :-)
Heck, I would *never* dis drummers. When I was young and played a bit
(trombone) I knew numerous drummers. Well, "knew" isn't quite the right
word as they always seemed to be, uh..."dazed".
Neverhteless, I recognize the importance of drummers. I doubt burlesque
could have survived without drummers to rimshot the comedians' jokes. Oh,
wait...it didn't :(
--
dadiOH
____________________________
dadiOH's dandies v3.06...
...a help file of info about MP3s, recording from
LP/cassette and tips & tricks on this and that.
Get it at http://mysite.verizon.net/xico
On 4/8/12 12:43 PM, Steve Turner wrote:
> On 4/8/2012 12:14 PM, Larry Jaques wrote:
>> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 12:20:00 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Larry Jaques wrote:
>>>> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:17:37 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
>>>> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
>>>>> 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
>>>>> "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
>>>>
>>>> Har! I'm sending that on to some musician friends who'll love it.
>>>
>>> Use Steve's drum description, it's much better.
>>
>> I sent both.<g> Two points each, guys.
>
> Glad I could enhance the experience of you guys making fun of me and
> -MIKE- and Sonoma and the various other neanderthal percussionists that
> hang out here. :-)
>
No one can keep up with me when it comes to musician jokes. :-)
--
-MIKE-
"Playing is not something I do at night, it's my function in life"
--Elvin Jones (1927-2004)
--
http://mikedrums.com
[email protected]
---remove "DOT" ^^^^ to reply
Don't llook now fool, but the name of this group isn't "OT" . Your post is
a hindrance and nonsense to those who pay for 'net time by the minute. Keep
it up and i may begin a flood based on your post!
In news:[email protected],
dadiOH <[email protected]> typed:
> A jazz trio is playing a gig at an upscale nightclub.
> They play a classic bebop tune at a fleet tempo with
> grace and ease. Then comes a Wayne Shorter composition
> filled with mysterious harmonies, poignant melodies and
> daring improvisations. Next they present a medley of
> lesser known Harold Arlen songs that only a connoisseur
> would recognize, again played with elegant styling and
> exquisite taste.
> The whole evening has been one dazzling performance after
> another. Though the trio is playing background music and
> not a formal concert , the audience can sense that the
> musical display they are witnessing is of such a high caliber that the
> musicians
> should be allowed to perform as they please without
> interference.
> Then a well-dressed middle-aged man approaches the
> bandstand and asks the pianist "Can you play Lara's Theme
> from Dr. Zhivago?" The pianist tells the man that they
> are jazz musicians and that they usually don't take
> requests of that sort. The man reaches into his coat
> pocket and pulls out three one hundred dollar bills which
> he lays out on the piano. The pianist looks at the bass
> player and drummer and says "Lara's Theme in G."
> They play the tune in the fashion of the original
> version, the pianist emulating the Balalaika textures
> with a delicate upper register tremolo. The song
> obviously does not present the same level of difficulty
> that the trio is accustomed to dealing with.
> As the pianist plays, he absent-mindedly gazes at the
> soundboard of his ebony Steinway B and wonders about the
> grain in the wood. How would the tonal characteristics be
> altered if the grain of the soundboard ran perpendicular
> to the strings rather than parallel, he silently asks
> himself.
> The bass player amuses himself with an assortment of
> well-placed double-stops and harmonics. He daydreams as
> he looks at the top of his mid-nineteenth century double
> bass made by French master, Paul Claudot, and wonders
> "How many times has the top been varnished, how did the
> varnish of past years differ from today's, how would the
> resonance properties be affected if there were no varnish
> at all?
> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight
> head of his 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum
> and thinks to himself, "One, two, three, one, two, three,
> one, two, three."
On 4/12/12 10:28 AM, Mike Marlow wrote:
> Twayne wrote:
>> Don't llook now fool, but the name of this group isn't "OT" . Your
>> post is a hindrance and nonsense to those who pay for 'net time by
>> the minute. Keep it up and i may begin a flood based on your post!
>>
>
> If you are paying for "net time by the minute" in this day and age, it is
> you who is the fool. If that were even true - it's kinda antithetical for
> one who bitches about net time by the minute, to propose a "flood".
> Conclusion - you are the same ass that you've been in every post you've ever
> made here. Go ahead - create your "flood"...
>
I was trying to decide between calling him a moron or a douchebag, but
couldn't make a choice. I just didn't want to cost him a fortune by
calling him both.
--
-MIKE-
"Playing is not something I do at night, it's my function in life"
--Elvin Jones (1927-2004)
--
http://mikedrums.com
[email protected]
---remove "DOT" ^^^^ to reply
On 4/8/2012 11:50 AM, Larry Jaques wrote:
> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:17:37 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
> wrote:
>
>> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
>> 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
>> "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
>
> Har! I'm sending that on to some musician friends who'll love it.
>
> --
> Live Simply. Speak Kindly. Care Deeply. Love Generously.
> -- anon
Yep. Our group has a five-piece rhythm section...
...four musicians and a drummer.
:)
On 4/12/12 12:32 PM, Greg Guarino wrote:
> On 4/8/2012 11:50 AM, Larry Jaques wrote:
>> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:17:37 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
>>> 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
>>> "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
>>
>> Har! I'm sending that on to some musician friends who'll love it.
>>
>> --
>> Live Simply. Speak Kindly. Care Deeply. Love Generously.
>> -- anon
>
> Yep. Our group has a five-piece rhythm section...
>
> ...four musicians and a drummer.
>
> :)
What the difference between a toilet and a drummer?
A toilet only has to carry one asshole at a time.
:-)
--
-MIKE-
"Playing is not something I do at night, it's my function in life"
--Elvin Jones (1927-2004)
--
http://mikedrums.com
[email protected]
---remove "DOT" ^^^^ to reply
On 4/12/2012 9:46 AM, Twayne wrote:
> Don't llook now fool, but the name of this group isn't "OT" . Your post is
> a hindrance and nonsense to those who pay for 'net time by the minute. Keep
> it up and i may begin a flood based on your post!
Says the dumbass who turns around and re-quotes the entire post he's bitching
about, thus clogging up the network all over again and making himself guilty of
the very offense he's accusing the OP of...
--
Repeat after me:
"I am we Todd it. I am sofa king we Todd it."
To reply, eat the taco.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bbqboyee/
On 4/12/2012 1:34 PM, -MIKE- wrote:
> On 4/12/12 12:32 PM, Greg Guarino wrote:
>> On 4/8/2012 11:50 AM, Larry Jaques wrote:
>>> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:17:37 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
>>>> 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
>>>> "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
>>>
>>> Har! I'm sending that on to some musician friends who'll love it.
>>>
>>> --
>>> Live Simply. Speak Kindly. Care Deeply. Love Generously.
>>> -- anon
>>
>> Yep. Our group has a five-piece rhythm section...
>>
>> ...four musicians and a drummer.
>>
>> :)
>
>
> What the difference between a toilet and a drummer?
> A toilet only has to carry one asshole at a time.
>
> :-)
>
>
Our full complement is nine pieces, so our drummer's got his hands full.
Funny guy too; "seen it all" when it comes to gigs. A botched
(automobile) muffler job led to his trunk catching fire on the way to a
gig a few years back. He managed to get his car onto the shoulder of the
parkway and roll his drums in some wet grass to stop them from
smoldering. Still made the gig too - arriving in the police car that
responded to the 911 call. Little puffs of soot came out of the vent
holes with every tom hit.
On 4/12/12 2:15 PM, Mike Marlow wrote:
> -MIKE- wrote:
>
>>
>> What the difference between a toilet and a drummer?
>> A toilet only has to carry one asshole at a time.
>>
>
>
> Good one - I had not heard that one before.
>
I told ya, I gots a million of em. :-)
Did you hear about the band who locked their keys in the van?
It took them two hours to get the bass player out.
--
-MIKE-
"Playing is not something I do at night, it's my function in life"
--Elvin Jones (1927-2004)
--
http://mikedrums.com
[email protected]
---remove "DOT" ^^^^ to reply
On 4/12/12 2:24 PM, Greg Guarino wrote:
> Little puffs of soot came out of the vent
> holes with every tom hit.
Even if you made that up, it's f'n hilarious!!
LMAO
--
-MIKE-
"Playing is not something I do at night, it's my function in life"
--Elvin Jones (1927-2004)
--
http://mikedrums.com
[email protected]
---remove "DOT" ^^^^ to reply
On 4/12/2012 3:35 PM, -MIKE- wrote:
> On 4/12/12 2:24 PM, Greg Guarino wrote:
>> Little puffs of soot came out of the vent
>> holes with every tom hit.
>
>
> Even if you made that up, it's f'n hilarious!!
> LMAO
>
>
I didn't, and it was. I was there.
The kit was black to begin with, so the damage may not have been obvious
to the audience (outdoor show). It was mostly the bags that had caught
fire, but some of the shells were charred. I don't know how he connived
the cop into giving him a lift after his car was towed, but he did,
arriving with the siren blaring and the lights flashing.
On 4/12/12 2:46 PM, Greg Guarino wrote:
> On 4/12/2012 3:35 PM, -MIKE- wrote:
>> On 4/12/12 2:24 PM, Greg Guarino wrote:
>>> Little puffs of soot came out of the vent
>>> holes with every tom hit.
>>
>>
>> Even if you made that up, it's f'n hilarious!!
>> LMAO
>>
>>
> I didn't, and it was. I was there.
>
> The kit was black to begin with, so the damage may not have been obvious
> to the audience (outdoor show). It was mostly the bags that had caught
> fire, but some of the shells were charred. I don't know how he connived
> the cop into giving him a lift after his car was towed, but he did,
> arriving with the siren blaring and the lights flashing.
I posted the story on my facebook Nashville drummers' group.
--
-MIKE-
"Playing is not something I do at night, it's my function in life"
--Elvin Jones (1927-2004)
--
http://mikedrums.com
[email protected]
---remove "DOT" ^^^^ to reply
On 4/12/2012 5:34 PM, -MIKE- wrote:
> On 4/12/12 2:46 PM, Greg Guarino wrote:
>> On 4/12/2012 3:35 PM, -MIKE- wrote:
>>> On 4/12/12 2:24 PM, Greg Guarino wrote:
>>>> Little puffs of soot came out of the vent
>>>> holes with every tom hit.
>>>
>>>
>>> Even if you made that up, it's f'n hilarious!!
>>> LMAO
>>>
>>>
>> I didn't, and it was. I was there.
>>
>> The kit was black to begin with, so the damage may not have been obvious
>> to the audience (outdoor show). It was mostly the bags that had caught
>> fire, but some of the shells were charred. I don't know how he connived
>> the cop into giving him a lift after his car was towed, but he did,
>> arriving with the siren blaring and the lights flashing.
>
>
> I posted the story on my facebook Nashville drummers' group.
>
>
Some more drummer ingenuity:
We have played in a wide variety of venues over the years. This one had
a tile floor, if memory serves. Tommy (the drummer)always arrives first;
he's generally set up (and halfway through a Heineken) by the time I
stroll in. I notice that rather than the usual carpet, his kit is
sitting on the four floor mats from his car. My Dad would refer to that
sort of thing with an old Army term: "field expedient".
One of our singers forgot to bring dress shoes to a tux gig. There was a
time when our bass player was the custodian of the Emergency Shoes, a
set of old Large-Enough-To-Fit-Anyone generic black dress shoes that he
kept with the lug wrench and jumper cables. But not anymore. Tommy had
the solution: wear black socks OVER your sneakers. No one noticed.
On 4/13/2012 8:14 AM, Greg Guarino wrote:
> On 4/12/2012 5:34 PM, -MIKE- wrote:
>> On 4/12/12 2:46 PM, Greg Guarino wrote:
>>> On 4/12/2012 3:35 PM, -MIKE- wrote:
>>>> On 4/12/12 2:24 PM, Greg Guarino wrote:
>>>>> Little puffs of soot came out of the vent
>>>>> holes with every tom hit.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Even if you made that up, it's f'n hilarious!!
>>>> LMAO
>>>>
>>>>
>>> I didn't, and it was. I was there.
>>>
>>> The kit was black to begin with, so the damage may not have been obvious
>>> to the audience (outdoor show). It was mostly the bags that had caught
>>> fire, but some of the shells were charred. I don't know how he connived
>>> the cop into giving him a lift after his car was towed, but he did,
>>> arriving with the siren blaring and the lights flashing.
>>
>>
>> I posted the story on my facebook Nashville drummers' group.
>>
>>
> Some more drummer ingenuity:
>
> We have played in a wide variety of venues over the years. This one had a tile
> floor, if memory serves. Tommy (the drummer)always arrives first; he's
> generally set up (and halfway through a Heineken) by the time I stroll in. I
> notice that rather than the usual carpet, his kit is sitting on the four floor
> mats from his car. My Dad would refer to that sort of thing with an old Army
> term: "field expedient".
Ooh boy, forgetting to bring a rug to a gig where the setup surface is an
unknown can lead to a very bad day. Been there, done that! You definitely
learn to make do with the "tools" you have available to you.
> One of our singers forgot to bring dress shoes to a tux gig. There was a time
> when our bass player was the custodian of the Emergency Shoes, a set of old
> Large-Enough-To-Fit-Anyone generic black dress shoes that he kept with the lug
> wrench and jumper cables. But not anymore. Tommy had the solution: wear black
> socks OVER your sneakers. No one noticed.
LOL!
--
Any given amount of traffic flow, no matter how
sparse, will expand to fill all available lanes.
To reply, eat the taco.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bbqboyee/
dadiOH wrote:
> A jazz trio is playing a gig at an upscale nightclub. They play a
> classic bebop tune at a fleet tempo with grace and ease. Then comes a
> Wayne Shorter composition filled with mysterious harmonies, poignant
> melodies and daring improvisations. Next they present a medley of
> lesser known Harold Arlen songs that only a connoisseur would
> recognize, again played with elegant styling and exquisite taste.
>
> The whole evening has been one dazzling performance after another.
> Though the trio is playing background music and not a formal concert ,
> the audience can sense that the musical display they are
> witnessing is of such a high caliber that the musicians should be
> allowed to perform as they please without interference.
>
> Then a well-dressed middle-aged man approaches the bandstand and asks
> the pianist "Can you play Lara's Theme from Dr. Zhivago?" The pianist
> tells the man that they are jazz musicians and that they usually
> don't take requests of that sort. The man reaches into his coat
> pocket and pulls out three one hundred dollar bills which he lays out
> on the piano. The pianist looks at the bass player and drummer and
> says "Lara's Theme in G."
>
> They play the tune in the fashion of the original version, the
> pianist emulating the Balalaika textures with a delicate upper
> register tremolo. The song obviously does not present the same level
> of difficulty that the trio is accustomed to dealing with.
>
> As the pianist plays, he absent-mindedly gazes at the soundboard of
> his ebony Steinway B and wonders about the grain in the wood. How
> would the tonal characteristics be altered if the grain of the
> soundboard ran perpendicular to the strings rather than parallel, he
> silently asks himself.
>
> The bass player amuses himself with an assortment of well-placed
> double-stops and harmonics. He daydreams as he looks at the top of
> his mid-nineteenth century double bass made by French master, Paul
> Claudot, and wonders "How many times has the top been varnished, how
> did the varnish of past years differ from today's, how would the
> resonance properties be affected if there were no varnish at all?
>
> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
> 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
> "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
Amber had but one thought as she started her new job at the Pentagon:
"Amber, staple. Amber, staple. Amber, staple..."
Ben gazed longingly out the window of the Smithsonian and wondered how many
more goddamn otter skins he'd have to stretch before lunch.
"Sometimes the simple pleasures are the best..." thought Lady Coldbear as
she nailed the kitten to the chesterfield.
On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 18:34:19 -0700 (PDT), Robatoy
<[email protected]> wrote:
>On Apr 8, 5:00 pm, -MIKE- <[email protected]> wrote:
>> On 4/8/12 12:43 PM, Steve Turner wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> > On 4/8/2012 12:14 PM, Larry Jaques wrote:
>> >> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 12:20:00 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
>> >> wrote:
>>
>> >>> Larry Jaques wrote:
>> >>>> On Sun, 8 Apr 2012 08:17:37 -0400, "dadiOH"<[email protected]>
>> >>>> wrote:
>>
>> >>>>> The drummer gazes down onto the single ply, medium weight head of his
>> >>>>> 1950's vintage black oyster pearl snare drum and thinks to himself,
>> >>>>> "One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three."
>>
>> >>>> Har! I'm sending that on to some musician friends who'll love it.
>>
>> >>> Use Steve's drum description, it's much better.
>>
>> >> I sent both.<g> Two points each, guys.
>>
>> > Glad I could enhance the experience of you guys making fun of me and
>> > -MIKE- and Sonoma and the various other neanderthal percussionists that
>> > hang out here. :-)
>>
>> No one can keep up with me when it comes to musician jokes. :-)
>>
>> --
>>
>> -MIKE-
>>
>> "Playing is not something I do at night, it's my function in life"
>> --Elvin Jones (1927-2004)
>> --
>> http://mikedrums.com
>> [email protected]
>> ---remove "DOT" ^^^^ to reply
>
>The jury is still out whether or not drummers ARE musicians. <g,d&r>
Want to punish your neighbor? Buy their kid a drum set.
--
Live Simply. Speak Kindly. Care Deeply. Love Generously.
-- anon
On Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:10:21 +0100, Stuart <[email protected]
>Just ignore him.
Where's the fun in that? Poking trolls with a sharp stick is a
national pastime here.
On 4/12/2012 5:08 PM, Mike Marlow wrote:
> Swingman wrote:
>> On 4/12/2012 3:21 PM, Mike Marlow wrote:
>>> -MIKE- wrote:
>>>> On 4/12/12 2:15 PM, Mike Marlow wrote:
>>>>> -MIKE- wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>> What the difference between a toilet and a drummer?
>>>>>> A toilet only has to carry one asshole at a time.
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> Good one - I had not heard that one before.
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>> I told ya, I gots a million of em. :-)
>>>>
>>>> Did you hear about the band who locked their keys in the van?
>>>> It took them two hours to get the bass player out.
>>>
>>> Yup - heard that one. I figure it was Swingman the joke talks
>>> about...
>>
>>
>> Little Johnny says to his Mom "I want to be a drummer when I grow up".
>>
>> His Mom looks at him and says "But Johnny, you can't do both".
>
> Another new one! Can you hear me chuckling from there?
A drummer goes to the optometrist, and the doctor says "You really need
to stop masturbating."
The drummer, a little worried, asks the doctor, "why... am I going blind?"
"No," says the doctor. "But you're disturbing everyone else in the
waiting room".
--
www.eWoodShop.com
Last update: 4/15/2010
KarlCaillouet@ (the obvious)
http://gplus.to/eWoodShop