With summer here, the sound of power tools is once again attracting
neighborhood kids. Some of the "old hands" with a project under their
belt are wanting to do something new, the younger ones quite happy
to just play with the dust collector hose, making sawdust, chips and
an occassional spider or fly disappear. Regretably, they sometimes
make something vanish - that shouldn't - several small pieces of molding
for a jewelry box, perhaps a small part of a jig, etc..
There are times when things happen which warrant, nay - demand
- some verbal expression - of surprise (OH SH*T!), of disapproval
(WHAT THE F$&K ARE YOU DOING?!), disgust (SON-OF-A-B%TCH!)
or satisfaction (D*mn that turned out nice.)
And that gets us to Shop Expletives - specifically - the "abridged"
shop expletives. The last thing you need is an upset parent of one
of your young shop helpers demanding to know if you were the one
who taught their little darling to cuss.
Now there are those who say "Someone who cusses merely displays
their ignorance, their sad lack of a good vocabulary and an inability
to express themselves adequately." To which I say -
"What a crock of crap!"
Cussing has a long and noble history - in every language - with
special versions unique to each trade as well as universal terms
and expressions "blue" in nature.
But there are times when such language is appropriate - and times
when there's a need for "pre-cussing" - or cleaned up versions of
Old Standards. Gosh Darn, Cheese and Rice, Son of a Gun, Oh FUDGE!
Mortar Forker - when uttered in "mixed company" are easily and
automatically translated to their "Adult Equivalent" - by adults
- while merely an interesting expression to youngsters.
Yet even the abridged versions of cussing may cause a parent some
consternation when such words and terms are uttered - or shouted
- by their child - after they've spent some time in your shop.
So - if you're blessed with "summer helpers" and wish to avoid
dealing with an upset parent of same, I give you - CRANUS - the
Swiss Army Pocket Knife of cussing.
Oh CRANUS!
Get you cranus off my bench!
Be very careful with that thing cause it can take your cranus off
in a new york minute (apparently New York has some special for of
the time/space continuim).
Never point a cranus at ANYONE.
If you do that again I'm gonna kick your cranus.
Well you managed to really cranus that up - let's see how we can
fix it.
Give your self a big pat on the back 'cause that piece you
made is nearly cranus perfect!
Have YOU got some Shop Expletives suitable for mixed company?
charlie b
On Jun 21, 2:59 pm, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
{snipped for brevity]
When a wrench slips off a rounded nut and drives my knuckles into the
edge of a rusty piece of metal, I usually respond with : " I must
really learn to be more careful."
r
.
.
.
.
.
.
Everything around here is either friggin' or farkin'.
On Jun 21, 2:59?pm, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
> With summer here, the sound of power tools is once again attracting
> neighborhood kids. Some of the "old hands" with a project under their
> belt are wanting to do something new, the younger ones quite happy
> to just play with the dust collector hose, making sawdust, chips and
> an occassional spider or fly disappear. Regretably, they sometimes
> make something vanish - that shouldn't - several small pieces of molding
> for a jewelry box, perhaps a small part of a jig, etc..
>
> There are times when things happen which warrant, nay - demand
> - some verbal expression - of surprise (OH SH*T!), of disapproval
> (WHAT THE F$&K ARE YOU DOING?!), disgust (SON-OF-A-B%TCH!)
> or satisfaction (D*mn that turned out nice.)
>
> And that gets us to Shop Expletives - specifically - the "abridged"
> shop expletives. The last thing you need is an upset parent of one
> of your young shop helpers demanding to know if you were the one
> who taught their little darling to cuss.
>
> Now there are those who say "Someone who cusses merely displays
> their ignorance, their sad lack of a good vocabulary and an inability
> to express themselves adequately." To which I say -
> "What a crock of crap!"
>
> Cussing has a long and noble history - in every language - with
> special versions unique to each trade as well as universal terms
> and expressions "blue" in nature.
>
> But there are times when such language is appropriate - and times
> when there's a need for "pre-cussing" - or cleaned up versions of
> Old Standards. Gosh Darn, Cheese and Rice, Son of a Gun, Oh FUDGE!
> Mortar Forker - when uttered in "mixed company" are easily and
> automatically translated to their "Adult Equivalent" - by adults
> - while merely an interesting expression to youngsters.
>
> Yet even the abridged versions of cussing may cause a parent some
> consternation when such words and terms are uttered - or shouted
> - by their child - after they've spent some time in your shop.
>
> So - if you're blessed with "summer helpers" and wish to avoid
> dealing with an upset parent of same, I give you - CRANUS - the
> Swiss Army Pocket Knife of cussing.
>
> Oh CRANUS!
>
> Get you cranus off my bench!
>
> Be very careful with that thing cause it can take your cranus off
> in a new york minute (apparently New York has some special for of
> the time/space continuim).
>
> Never point a cranus at ANYONE.
>
> If you do that again I'm gonna kick your cranus.
>
> Well you managed to really cranus that up - let's see how we can
> fix it.
>
> Give your self a big pat on the back 'cause that piece you
> made is nearly cranus perfect!
>
> Have YOU got some Shop Expletives suitable for mixed company?
>
> charlie b
Nope. No kids allowed with 250-300 yards when I'm in the shop. Of
course, that depends on how old you categorize as a "kid." I have a
granddaughter, 17 years old, who nearly matches my 68 year old USMC
mouth--she would match it, but she gets called down hard when she
starts. With me, they wait until I'm finished before beginning the
"For shame" crap.
On Jun 21, 2:59 pm, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
> With summer here, the sound of power tools is once again attracting
> neighborhood kids. Some of the "old hands" with a project under their
> belt are wanting to do something new, the younger ones quite happy
> to just play with the dust collector hose, making sawdust, chips and
> an occassional spider or fly disappear. Regretably, they sometimes
> make something vanish - that shouldn't - several small pieces of molding
> for a jewelry box, perhaps a small part of a jig, etc..
>
> There are times when things happen which warrant, nay - demand
> - some verbal expression - of surprise (OH SH*T!), of disapproval
> (WHAT THE F$&K ARE YOU DOING?!), disgust (SON-OF-A-B%TCH!)
> or satisfaction (D*mn that turned out nice.)
>
> And that gets us to Shop Expletives - specifically - the "abridged"
> shop expletives. The last thing you need is an upset parent of one
> of your young shop helpers demanding to know if you were the one
> who taught their little darling to cuss.
>
> Now there are those who say "Someone who cusses merely displays
> their ignorance, their sad lack of a good vocabulary and an inability
> to express themselves adequately." To which I say -
> "What a crock of crap!"
>
> Cussing has a long and noble history - in every language - with
> special versions unique to each trade as well as universal terms
> and expressions "blue" in nature.
>
> But there are times when such language is appropriate - and times
> when there's a need for "pre-cussing" - or cleaned up versions of
> Old Standards. Gosh Darn, Cheese and Rice, Son of a Gun, Oh FUDGE!
> Mortar Forker - when uttered in "mixed company" are easily and
> automatically translated to their "Adult Equivalent" - by adults
> - while merely an interesting expression to youngsters.
>
> Yet even the abridged versions of cussing may cause a parent some
> consternation when such words and terms are uttered - or shouted
> - by their child - after they've spent some time in your shop.
>
> So - if you're blessed with "summer helpers" and wish to avoid
> dealing with an upset parent of same, I give you - CRANUS - the
> Swiss Army Pocket Knife of cussing.
>
> Oh CRANUS!
>
> Get you cranus off my bench!
>
> Be very careful with that thing cause it can take your cranus off
> in a new york minute (apparently New York has some special for of
> the time/space continuim).
>
> Never point a cranus at ANYONE.
>
> If you do that again I'm gonna kick your cranus.
>
> Well you managed to really cranus that up - let's see how we can
> fix it.
>
> Give your self a big pat on the back 'cause that piece you
> made is nearly cranus perfect!
>
> Have YOU got some Shop Expletives suitable for mixed company?
Nifong.
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.building.construction/browse_thread/thread/e814b9ee37f144ad/#
R
On Jun 22, 6:38 am, "J. Clarke" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> Well, "Farscape" introduced "frell" to the language, "Battlestar
> Galactica" used "frack" and "felgercarb", Richard Adams in "Maia" gave
> ordinary innocuous words new meanings--the sex slaves did a great deal
> of basting for example, on "Firefly" they just cussed in Chinese.
Ah, another science fiction aficionado. SF fans used to be relegated
to the fringes of society, now they're running the internet and
posting on woodworking newsgroups. We've come a long way, baby!
R
On Jun 22, 1:38?am, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
> RicodJour wrote:
> > > Have YOU got some Shop Expletives suitable for mixed company?
>
> > Nifong.
>
> >http://groups.google.com/group/alt.building.construction/browse_threa...
>
> Painting with too wide a brush. Why tar and feather anyone with that
> last
> name because of one idiot who is no doubt the exception to the rule.
> The
> Nifong I know is a dedicated police officer who recently retired after
> 30
> plus years on the police force - serving as a hostage negotiator, the
> head
> of the bomb squad and the head of the SWAT team during his years of
> service.
> If you have to have people with guns and someone who has to make life
> and
> death decisions - this is the kind of man you want to have.
>
> So rather than Nifong, how about THEDipShitDA?
>
> charlie b
Because he's a generic dipshit now, no longer a DA or practicing
lawyer. There is then no way to distinguish him from the rest of the
dipshits in the world. Maybe "dipshit disbarred DA asshole lawyer"
would work.
On Jun 21, 3:45 pm, Charlie Self <[email protected]> wrote:
> On Jun 21, 2:59?pm, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>
> > With summer here, the sound of power tools is once again attracting
> > neighborhood kids. Some of the "old hands" with a project under their
> > belt are wanting to do something new, the younger ones quite happy
> > to just play with the dust collector hose, making sawdust, chips and
> > an occassional spider or fly disappear. Regretably, they sometimes
> > make something vanish - that shouldn't - several small pieces of molding
> > for a jewelry box, perhaps a small part of a jig, etc..
>
> > There are times when things happen which warrant, nay - demand
> > - some verbal expression - of surprise (OH SH*T!), of disapproval
> > (WHAT THE F$&K ARE YOU DOING?!), disgust (SON-OF-A-B%TCH!)
> > or satisfaction (D*mn that turned out nice.)
>
> > And that gets us to Shop Expletives - specifically - the "abridged"
> > shop expletives. The last thing you need is an upset parent of one
> > of your young shop helpers demanding to know if you were the one
> > who taught their little darling to cuss.
>
> > Now there are those who say "Someone who cusses merely displays
> > their ignorance, their sad lack of a good vocabulary and an inability
> > to express themselves adequately." To which I say -
> > "What a crock of crap!"
>
> > Cussing has a long and noble history - in every language - with
> > special versions unique to each trade as well as universal terms
> > and expressions "blue" in nature.
>
> > But there are times when such language is appropriate - and times
> > when there's a need for "pre-cussing" - or cleaned up versions of
> > Old Standards. Gosh Darn, Cheese and Rice, Son of a Gun, Oh FUDGE!
> > Mortar Forker - when uttered in "mixed company" are easily and
> > automatically translated to their "Adult Equivalent" - by adults
> > - while merely an interesting expression to youngsters.
>
> > Yet even the abridged versions of cussing may cause a parent some
> > consternation when such words and terms are uttered - or shouted
> > - by their child - after they've spent some time in your shop.
>
> > So - if you're blessed with "summer helpers" and wish to avoid
> > dealing with an upset parent of same, I give you - CRANUS - the
> > Swiss Army Pocket Knife of cussing.
>
> > Oh CRANUS!
>
> > Get you cranus off my bench!
>
> > Be very careful with that thing cause it can take your cranus off
> > in a new york minute (apparently New York has some special for of
> > the time/space continuim).
>
> > Never point a cranus at ANYONE.
>
> > If you do that again I'm gonna kick your cranus.
>
> > Well you managed to really cranus that up - let's see how we can
> > fix it.
>
> > Give your self a big pat on the back 'cause that piece you
> > made is nearly cranus perfect!
>
> > Have YOU got some Shop Expletives suitable for mixed company?
>
> > charlie b
>
> Nope. No kids allowed with 250-300 yards when I'm in the shop. Of
> course, that depends on how old you categorize as a "kid." I have a
> granddaughter, 17 years old, who nearly matches my 68 year old USMC
> mouth--she would match it, but she gets called down hard when she
> starts. With me, they wait until I'm finished before beginning the
> "For shame" crap.
Then you remember what Patton said about profanity, and you know
his June 5 address to the Third Army verbatim. You also know that
George C. Scott's version was just a *tiny* bit sanitized.
charlieb wrote:
> With summer here, the sound of power tools is once again attracting
> neighborhood kids. Some of the "old hands" with a project under their
> belt are wanting to do something new, the younger ones quite happy
> to just play with the dust collector hose, making sawdust, chips and
> an occassional spider or fly disappear. Regretably, they sometimes
> make something vanish - that shouldn't - several small pieces of
> molding for a jewelry box, perhaps a small part of a jig, etc..
Dilbert cartoon:
Dilbert and an auto mechanic are peering at the motor of Dilbert's car.
Dilbert: "I think it's the fuel pump."
Mechaninc: "WHAT?"
Dilbert: "I think it's the $&#@!! fuel pump."
Mechanic: "Well, why didn't you say so!"
Charlie Self wrote:
> On Jun 22, 1:38?am, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
>> RicodJour wrote:
>>>> Have YOU got some Shop Expletives suitable for mixed company?
>>> Nifong.
>>> http://groups.google.com/group/alt.building.construction/browse_threa...
>> Painting with too wide a brush. Why tar and feather anyone with that
>> last
>> name because of one idiot who is no doubt the exception to the rule.
>> The
>> Nifong I know is a dedicated police officer who recently retired after
>> 30
>> plus years on the police force - serving as a hostage negotiator, the
>> head
>> of the bomb squad and the head of the SWAT team during his years of
>> service.
>> If you have to have people with guns and someone who has to make life
>> and
>> death decisions - this is the kind of man you want to have.
>>
>> So rather than Nifong, how about THEDipShitDA?
>>
>> charlie b
>
> Because he's a generic dipshit now, no longer a DA or practicing
> lawyer. There is then no way to distinguish him from the rest of the
> dipshits in the world. Maybe "dipshit disbarred DA asshole lawyer"
> would work.
>
Or just "disbarred lawyer." The rest is redundant.
Robatoy wrote:
> On Jun 21, 2:59 pm, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> {snipped for brevity]
>
> When a wrench slips off a rounded nut and drives my knuckles into the
> edge of a rusty piece of metal, I usually respond with : " I must
> really learn to be more careful."
>
My standard line is a pained, "Oh! *That* felt good!" (Amazingly
effective with the appropriate inflection and emphasis).
That and "Thank-you sir, may I have another?"
--
If you're going to be dumb, you better be tough
Mark & Juanita wrote:
> Robatoy wrote:
>
>
>>On Jun 21, 2:59 pm, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>{snipped for brevity]
>>
>>When a wrench slips off a rounded nut and drives my knuckles into the
>>edge of a rusty piece of metal, I usually respond with : " I must
>>really learn to be more careful."
>>
>
>
> My standard line is a pained, "Oh! *That* felt good!" (Amazingly
> effective with the appropriate inflection and emphasis).
>
> That and "Thank-you sir, may I have another?"
>
>
Oh! That's gonna need some salve.
j4
charlieb wrote:
> Now there are those who say "Someone who cusses merely displays
> their ignorance, their sad lack of a good vocabulary and an inability
> to express themselves adequately." To which I say -
> "What a crock of crap!"
>
Sorry, Charlie ... I think you had it right, right there.
When looking for something, I find it useful to mutter like Yosemite
Sam. When careless with sharp things, I remind myself not to bleed on
the carpet. (There is none in my house.) When looking at the impact site
for a kickback I am most likely to say "Ooh, now THAT'S gonna leave a mark."
Frankly, I think profanity reflects immaturity. There are always other
words to say and there is that golden stand-by -- silence. Venting my
anger will not staunch the flow of blood nor find my missing wrench. But
it will make me a foul-mouthed old man.
YMMV but those are my conclusions.
Bill
---
avast! Antivirus: Outbound message clean.
Virus Database (VPS): 000751-4, 06/23/2007
Tested on: 6/24/2007 1:53:18 AM
avast! - copyright (c) 1988-2007 ALWIL Software.
http://www.avast.com
On Thu, 21 Jun 2007 11:59:49 -0700, charlieb <[email protected]>
wrote:
>Yet even the abridged versions of cussing may cause a parent some
>consternation when such words and terms are uttered - or shouted
>- by their child - after they've spent some time in your shop.
Names of current politicians. Clean, and it teches an appropriate level
of disdain for them.
RicodJour wrote:
> > Have YOU got some Shop Expletives suitable for mixed company?
>
> Nifong.
>
> http://groups.google.com/group/alt.building.construction/browse_thread/thread/e814b9ee37f144ad/#
>
Painting with too wide a brush. Why tar and feather anyone with that
last
name because of one idiot who is no doubt the exception to the rule.
The
Nifong I know is a dedicated police officer who recently retired after
30
plus years on the police force - serving as a hostage negotiator, the
head
of the bomb squad and the head of the SWAT team during his years of
service.
If you have to have people with guns and someone who has to make life
and
death decisions - this is the kind of man you want to have.
So rather than Nifong, how about THEDipShitDA?
charlie b
On Thu, 21 Jun 2007 11:59:49 -0700, charlieb <[email protected]>
wrote:
>Have YOU got some Shop Expletives suitable for mixed company?
>
>charlie b
Having learned some of the Noble Tongue as a youth, I just use a few
choice Gaelic expletives.
1. Few have any clue what I said
2. Fewer still are willing to damage their vocal cords by attempting
to emulate the noise I made
Works for me.
PS: Latvian is also good.
Thu, Jun 21, 2007, 11:59am (EDT-3) [email protected] (charlieb)
doth sayth:
<snip> some verbal expression - of surprise (OH SH*T!), of disapproval
<snip>
Anything you say, I can almost guarantee they've heard before on
the playground, and probably used. No reason to repeat them in ornt of
them, of course, unless is's an absolute emergency.
More than once I've ran across oe of mommy's little's angels, out
away from their parents, and been cussed at simply because I was there.
Wouldn't be so sorry if they'at least be creative, instead of simply
repeating the same 3 or 4 words, over and over. Boring if nothing
else..
JOAT
If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton
SON OF A BUSH!!!!
It's a lovely double entendre too.
Art
"Andy Dingley" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On Thu, 21 Jun 2007 11:59:49 -0700, charlieb <[email protected]>
> wrote:
>
> >Yet even the abridged versions of cussing may cause a parent some
> >consternation when such words and terms are uttered - or shouted
> >- by their child - after they've spent some time in your shop.
>
> Names of current politicians. Clean, and it teches an appropriate level
> of disdain for them.
>
charlieb wrote:
> Now there are those who say "Someone who cusses merely displays
> their ignorance, their sad lack of a good vocabulary and an inability
> to express themselves adequately." To which I say -
> "What a crock of crap!"
IMHO, profanity is an art form.
Like all art forms, some are better equipped, either by practice or
just plain native talent, to perform the art form.
Probably like many of you I have endured performances of those who
were inadequately prepared or had no talent; however, there is still hope.
In the hands of a professional, profanity is like a rapier, not a
broad ax.
It does not offend, rather it entertains.
It is truly a change of pace to hear the art form practiced well.
Lew
829
"BillinDetroit" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> charlieb wrote:
>
>> Now there are those who say "Someone who cusses merely displays
>> their ignorance, their sad lack of a good vocabulary and an inability to
>> express themselves adequately." To which I say -
>> "What a crock of crap!"
>>
>
> Sorry, Charlie ... I think you had it right, right there.
>
> When looking for something, I find it useful to mutter like Yosemite Sam.
> When careless with sharp things, I remind myself not to bleed on the
> carpet. (There is none in my house.) When looking at the impact site for a
> kickback I am most likely to say "Ooh, now THAT'S gonna leave a mark."
>
> Frankly, I think profanity reflects immaturity. There are always other
> words to say and there is that golden stand-by -- silence. Venting my
> anger will not staunch the flow of blood nor find my missing wrench. But
> it will make me a foul-mouthed old man.
>
> YMMV but those are my conclusions.
>
> Bill
>
>
> ---
> avast! Antivirus: Outbound message clean.
> Virus Database (VPS): 000751-4, 06/23/2007
> Tested on: 6/24/2007 1:53:18 AM
> avast! - copyright (c) 1988-2007 ALWIL Software.
> http://www.avast.com
>
>
>
Sun, Jun 24, 2007, 3:53am samsoltan_48323atyahoodotcom (Sam=A0Soltan)
doth sayeth:
829
Somewhere I probably still have a copy of that list, but all I can
recall for offhand is 826.
If you've got a list, I'd appreciate a copy, either by e-mail, or
post.
JOAT
If a man does his best, what else is there?
- General George S. Patton
"charlieb" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> With summer here, the sound of power tools is once again attracting
> neighborhood kids. Some of the "old hands" with a project under their
> belt are wanting to do something new, the younger ones quite happy
> to just play with the dust collector hose, making sawdust, chips and
> an occassional spider or fly disappear. Regretably, they sometimes
> make something vanish - that shouldn't - several small pieces of molding
> for a jewelry box, perhaps a small part of a jig, etc..
>
> There are times when things happen which warrant, nay - demand
> - some verbal expression - of surprise (OH SH*T!), of disapproval
> (WHAT THE F$&K ARE YOU DOING?!), disgust (SON-OF-A-B%TCH!)
> or satisfaction (D*mn that turned out nice.)
>
> And that gets us to Shop Expletives - specifically - the "abridged"
> shop expletives. The last thing you need is an upset parent of one
> of your young shop helpers demanding to know if you were the one
> who taught their little darling to cuss.
>
> Now there are those who say "Someone who cusses merely displays
> their ignorance, their sad lack of a good vocabulary and an inability
> to express themselves adequately." To which I say -
> "What a crock of crap!"
>
> Cussing has a long and noble history - in every language - with
> special versions unique to each trade as well as universal terms
> and expressions "blue" in nature.
>
Until they tell you off in your own language, like when they refuse to get
up to go to school or do their chores. Oops, they already did and you are
now doing all your son's chores!
Robatoy wrote:
> On Jun 21, 2:59 pm, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> {snipped for brevity]
>
> When a wrench slips off a rounded nut and drives my knuckles into the
> edge of a rusty piece of metal, I usually respond with : " I must
> really learn to be more careful."
>
> r
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> Everything around here is either friggin' or farkin'.
>
>
I usually say OOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wayne
P.S. how about fricken?
"charlieb" wrote
> But there are times when such language is appropriate - and times
> when there's a need for "pre-cussing" - or cleaned up versions of
> Old Standards. Gosh Darn, Cheese and Rice, Son of a Gun, Oh FUDGE!
> Mortar Forker - when uttered in "mixed company" are easily and
>
>
> Have YOU got some Shop Expletives suitable for mixed company?
>
> charlie b
I had a driver in the Fire department who, when pressed for an expletive,
would say "Maw dicker" as a replacement for um...well you can figure that
one out.
There was a Captain at one of the stations who used "sackamafratz" a lot and
when really pressed he would say, "dirty sackamafratz".
Then of course there were the veterans who spared no one's ears.
One evening I was ripping some boards for a neighbor who happened to be a
regular church goer and never cursed. On one of the "rips" I veered a
little and said, "sh....immy, shimmy coco bop."
Max
charlieb wrote:
> With summer here, the sound of power tools is once again attracting
> neighborhood kids. Some of the "old hands" with a project under their
> belt are wanting to do something new, the younger ones quite happy
> to just play with the dust collector hose, making sawdust, chips and
> an occassional spider or fly disappear. Regretably, they sometimes
> make something vanish - that shouldn't - several small pieces of
> molding for a jewelry box, perhaps a small part of a jig, etc..
>
> There are times when things happen which warrant, nay - demand
> - some verbal expression - of surprise (OH SH*T!), of disapproval
> (WHAT THE F$&K ARE YOU DOING?!), disgust (SON-OF-A-B%TCH!)
> or satisfaction (D*mn that turned out nice.)
>
> And that gets us to Shop Expletives - specifically - the "abridged"
> shop expletives. The last thing you need is an upset parent of one
> of your young shop helpers demanding to know if you were the one
> who taught their little darling to cuss.
>
> Now there are those who say "Someone who cusses merely displays
> their ignorance, their sad lack of a good vocabulary and an inability
> to express themselves adequately." To which I say -
> "What a crock of crap!"
>
> Cussing has a long and noble history - in every language - with
> special versions unique to each trade as well as universal terms
> and expressions "blue" in nature.
>
> But there are times when such language is appropriate - and times
> when there's a need for "pre-cussing" - or cleaned up versions of
> Old Standards. Gosh Darn, Cheese and Rice, Son of a Gun, Oh FUDGE!
> Mortar Forker - when uttered in "mixed company" are easily and
> automatically translated to their "Adult Equivalent" - by adults
> - while merely an interesting expression to youngsters.
>
> Yet even the abridged versions of cussing may cause a parent some
> consternation when such words and terms are uttered - or shouted
> - by their child - after they've spent some time in your shop.
>
> So - if you're blessed with "summer helpers" and wish to avoid
> dealing with an upset parent of same, I give you - CRANUS - the
> Swiss Army Pocket Knife of cussing.
>
> Oh CRANUS!
>
> Get you cranus off my bench!
>
> Be very careful with that thing cause it can take your cranus off
> in a new york minute (apparently New York has some special for of
> the time/space continuim).
>
> Never point a cranus at ANYONE.
>
> If you do that again I'm gonna kick your cranus.
>
> Well you managed to really cranus that up - let's see how we can
> fix it.
>
> Give your self a big pat on the back 'cause that piece you
> made is nearly cranus perfect!
>
> Have YOU got some Shop Expletives suitable for mixed company?
Well, "Farscape" introduced "frell" to the language, "Battlestar
Galactica" used "frack" and "felgercarb", Richard Adams in "Maia" gave
ordinary innocuous words new meanings--the sex slaves did a great deal
of basting for example, on "Firefly" they just cussed in Chinese.
Then there are the old standbys, "darn", "heck", and "screw".
The problem with all of these is remembering to actually USE them.
--
--
--John
to email, dial "usenet" and validate
(was jclarke at eye bee em dot net)
I usually say something clever along the lines of "that's gonna leave
a mark..."
Bob the Tomato
On Sat, 23 Jun 2007 18:30:23 -0400, [email protected] (J T)
wrote:
>Thu, Jun 21, 2007, 11:59am (EDT-3) [email protected] (charlieb)
>doth sayth:
><snip> some verbal expression - of surprise (OH SH*T!), of disapproval
><snip>
>
> Anything you say, I can almost guarantee they've heard before on
>the playground, and probably used. No reason to repeat them in ornt of
>them, of course, unless is's an absolute emergency.
>
> More than once I've ran across oe of mommy's little's angels, out
>away from their parents, and been cussed at simply because I was there.
>Wouldn't be so sorry if they'at least be creative, instead of simply
>repeating the same 3 or 4 words, over and over. Boring if nothing
>else..
>
>
>
>JOAT
>If a man does his best, what else is there?
>- General George S. Patton
On Fri, 22 Jun 2007 05:33:57 -0700, RicodJour
<[email protected]> wrote:
>On Jun 22, 6:38 am, "J. Clarke" <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>> Well, "Farscape" introduced "frell" to the language, "Battlestar
>> Galactica" used "frack" and "felgercarb", Richard Adams in "Maia" gave
>> ordinary innocuous words new meanings--the sex slaves did a great deal
>> of basting for example, on "Firefly" they just cussed in Chinese.
>
>Ah, another science fiction aficionado. SF fans used to be relegated
>to the fringes of society, now they're running the internet and
>posting on woodworking newsgroups. We've come a long way, baby!
>
>R
And we are a nefarious group, quietly infecting our children (older
daughter says "Tom Baker is the *real* Dr. Who") and grandchildren (5
year old gets to choose a movie and wants to see the first 'Harry
Potter').
The infection spreads by contact - son-in-law offered to let us borrow
his 'Firefly' DVD set - it's waiting for me now ;-)
John
<<snip>>
> And that gets us to Shop Expletives - specifically - the "abridged"
> shop expletives. The last thing you need is an upset parent of one
> of your young shop helpers demanding to know if you were the one
> who taught their little darling to cuss.
>
<<more snip>>
> But there are times when such language is appropriate - and times
> when there's a need for "pre-cussing" - or cleaned up versions of
> Old Standards. Gosh Darn, Cheese and Rice, Son of a Gun, Oh FUDGE!
> Mortar Forker - when uttered in "mixed company" are easily and
> automatically translated to their "Adult Equivalent" - by adults
> - while merely an interesting expression to youngsters.
<<even more snipage>>
I've always operated on the assumption that if you are in MY shop, you will
be, first off, old enough to be there in the first place when anything is
happening that may CAUSE me to feel the need to swear and second, be able to
know that it may mean that you should call 911 for me because I seem to be
missing a finger or three.
Now that I have a grandson on the way, this may go by the wayside, but for
now, there iit is.
One thing that I have always hated, however, is using words that are close
but not quite close enough. If you TRUELY feel that a situation calls for
and NEEDS the word "fuckin'" to be used, there is NOTHING gained and lots
lost by using "fricken".
Just my thoughts and your mileage may vary
Mike
I don't recall where I learned it from, but some time ago I learned to
simply utter 'Thank You' out loud, while completing the appropriate phrase
'you sonofa bxxx' under my breath.
That way all others hear is 'Thank You' which should work no matter where
you are or who's around you..
It also shows that you are a simple polite gentlemen. That's my story and
I'm stickin to it.
"Bob the Tomato" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>I usually say something clever along the lines of "that's gonna leave
> a mark..."
>
> Bob the Tomato
>
>
>
> On Sat, 23 Jun 2007 18:30:23 -0400, [email protected] (J T)
> wrote:
>
>>Thu, Jun 21, 2007, 11:59am (EDT-3) [email protected] (charlieb)
>>doth sayth:
>><snip> some verbal expression - of surprise (OH SH*T!), of disapproval
>><snip>
>>
>> Anything you say, I can almost guarantee they've heard before on
>>the playground, and probably used. No reason to repeat them in ornt of
>>them, of course, unless is's an absolute emergency.
>>
>> More than once I've ran across oe of mommy's little's angels, out
>>away from their parents, and been cussed at simply because I was there.
>>Wouldn't be so sorry if they'at least be creative, instead of simply
>>repeating the same 3 or 4 words, over and over. Boring if nothing
>>else..
>>
>>
>>
>>JOAT
>>If a man does his best, what else is there?
>>- General George S. Patton
>