A very genteel Southern Lady was driving across the Savannah River
Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she
noticed a young man fixing to jump. She stopped her car, rolled down the
window and said, "Please don't jump, think of your dear mother and
father."
He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."
She said, "Well, think of your wife and children."
He replied, "I'm not married and I don't have any kids."
She said, "Well, think of Robert E. Lee."
He replied, ''Who's Robert E. Lee?''
She replied, ''Well, just go ahead and jump, you dumb ass Yankee."
--
Bob
"Outside your camp you shall have a place set aside to be used as a
latrine.
You shall keep a trowel in your equipment and with it, when you go outside
to ease nature, you shall first dig a hole and afterward cover up your
excrement."
Deuteronomy 23: 13-14
Great one!
Reminds me of...
A southern woman is attending a women's convention by herself, and walks up
to a group of women to introduce herself.
"Hi, I'm Mary from Alabama. Where're y'all from?"
Turns out she's addressing a group of yankee women, one of which replies,
"We are from a place where we do not end our sentences in prepositions."
Without missing a beat, Mary replies, "Oh me oh my, pardon my grammar!
Where were my manners?! Where're y'all from......bitch?"
"Bob Schmall" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> A very genteel Southern Lady was driving across the Savannah River
> Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she
> noticed a young man fixing to jump. She stopped her car, rolled down the
> window and said, "Please don't jump, think of your dear mother and
> father."
>
> He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."
>
> She said, "Well, think of your wife and children."
>
> He replied, "I'm not married and I don't have any kids."
>
> She said, "Well, think of Robert E. Lee."
>
> He replied, ''Who's Robert E. Lee?''
>
> She replied, ''Well, just go ahead and jump, you dumb ass Yankee."
>
> --
> Bob
> "Outside your camp you shall have a place set aside to be used as a
> latrine.
> You shall keep a trowel in your equipment and with it, when you go outside
> to ease nature, you shall first dig a hole and afterward cover up your
> excrement."
> Deuteronomy 23: 13-14
>
>
Bob Schmall wrote:
> A very genteel Southern Lady was driving across the Savannah River
> Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she
> noticed a young man fixing to jump. She stopped her car, rolled down the
> window and said, "Please don't jump, think of your dear mother and
> father."
>
> He replied, "Mom and Dad are both dead; I'm going to jump."
>
> She said, "Well, think of your wife and children."
>
> He replied, "I'm not married and I don't have any kids."
>
> She said, "Well, think of Robert E. Lee."
>
> He replied, ''Who's Robert E. Lee?''
>
> She replied, ''Well, just go ahead and jump, you dumb ass Yankee."
And they just lost 2 of 3 to the Angels...
On Fri, 29 Apr 2005 22:35:11 -0700, Fly-by-Night CC
<[email protected]> wrote:
>In article <[email protected]>,
> "Bob Schmall" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> She replied, ''Well, just go ahead and jump, you dumb ass Yankee."
>
>Reminds me of...
That was great. I just sent it off to my daughter-in-law, whose father
is a Baptist minister. Don't ask.
--
LRod
Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite
Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999
http://www.woodbutcher.net
Proud participant of rec.woodworking since February, 1997
In article <[email protected]>,
"Bob Schmall" <[email protected]> wrote:
> She replied, ''Well, just go ahead and jump, you dumb ass Yankee."
Reminds me of...
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the
edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
He said, "Like what?"
I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?"
He said, "Religious."
I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
He said, "Christian."
I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or
Baptist?"
He said, "Baptist!"
I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church
of the Lord?"
He said, "Baptist Church of God!"
I said, "Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you
Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!"
I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of
1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"
He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!"
I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.
(Courtesy of Emo Philips)
--
Owen Lowe
The Fly-by-Night Copper Company
__________
"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the
Corporate States of America and to the
Republicans for which it stands, one nation,
under debt, easily divisible, with liberty
and justice for oil."
- Wiley Miller, Non Sequitur, 1/24/05