OT: Humour

In article <[email protected]>,
Robatoy <[email protected]> wrote:

> This guy walks into Home Depot and asks for a 3mm and 5 mm drill bit.
> The 'sales associate' asks what the job entails.
> The guy says: I want to drill a 8 mm hole, and if I start with a 3mm
> bit, then the 5mm bit will go easier."
> The 'sales associate' suggests: "buy a 4mm bit and use it twice. It
> will save you some money."

Believe it or not, I had a similar experience at the local BORG.

I went in to buy some shelf pins for a cabinet that I was making. The
only ones they had required a 5mm hole for the pin. Being old school,
all of my brad point bits are standard SAE dimensions. I asked the
"sales associate" for a 5mm brad point bit, but he told me they dind't
carry them.

I questioned why they sell 5mm shelf pins but not 5mm brad point bits,
he answered, "must be because they are made in China"!

It was all my son and I could do to keep from laughing in his face as
we left the store.

Joe
aka 10x

PS

We eventually found the 1/4" pins at the local blue BORG.

On Fri, 09 Nov 2007 14:18:02 -0800, Fred the Red Shirt <[email protected]>
wrote:

>On Nov 6, 2:25 pm, DonkeyHody <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>...
>>
>> Mine is true too.
>> Several years ago, I bought some "cheap" hacksaw blades at Sears
>> because I only needed to cut some rebar for concrete. They were so
>> bad they wouldn't even cut the rebar. ...
>
>
>>From the wikipedia entry for 'rebar':
>
>"Modern rebar comprises high-yield steel, with a yield strength more
>typically 500 N/mm²"
>
>Does anybody care to convert that to Rockwell hardness for comparison
>with
>a typical cheap hacksaw blade?
>
>Maybe your problem was due to good rebar, rather than crappy hacksaw
>blades...

They use bolt cutters on rebar here..


mac

Please remove splinters before emailing

On Nov 4, 6:22 pm, jo4hn <[email protected]> wrote:
> jo4hn wrote:
> > Robatoy wrote:
>
> >> This guy walks into Home Depot and asks for a 3mm and 5 mm drill bit.
> >> The 'sales associate' asks what the job entails.
> >> The guy says: I want to drill a 8 mm hole, and if I start with a 3mm
> >> bit, then the 5mm bit will go easier."
> >> The 'sales associate' suggests: "buy a 4mm bit and use it twice. It
> >> will save you some money."
>
> > Or a 2mm used thrice...
> > Sheeesh.
>
> I guess for that to work, you need a *power* drill.

Clever...
http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o290/Robatoy/WeSeeWhat.jpg

On Nov 4, 3:26 pm, Robatoy <[email protected]> wrote:
> This guy walks into Home Depot and asks for a 3mm and 5 mm drill bit.
> The 'sales associate' asks what the job entails.
> The guy says: I want to drill a 8 mm hole, and if I start with a 3mm
> bit, then the 5mm bit will go easier."
> The 'sales associate' suggests: "buy a 4mm bit and use it twice. It
> will save you some money."
>
> ---------

Probably a relative of the "associate" I heard in another big box
store, telling two how to find brick molding. She sent the guys to
plumbing supplies.

Unfortunately, my story is true.

> Probably a relative of the "associate" I heard in another big box
> store, telling two how to find brick molding. She sent the guys to
> plumbing supplies.
>
> Unfortunately, my story is true.

Mine is true too.
Several years ago, I bought some "cheap" hacksaw blades at Sears
because I only needed to cut some rebar for concrete. They were so
bad they wouldn't even cut the rebar. I took the whole bunch back,
along with my hacksaw and a short piece of rebar to show how the
blades wouldn't cut it. The young "sales associate" looked at me
incredulously and announced, "That's metal, no saw blade is going to
cut metal." I suggested he learn more about the tools he is trying to
sell before arguing with customers and that he get me a manager.

DonkeyHody

On Nov 6, 9:25 am, DonkeyHody <[email protected]> wrote:
> > Probably a relative of the "associate" I heard in another big box
> > store, telling two how to find brick molding. She sent the guys to
> > plumbing supplies.
>
> > Unfortunately, my story is true.
>
> Mine is true too.
> Several years ago, I bought some "cheap" hacksaw blades at Sears
> because I only needed to cut some rebar for concrete. They were so
> bad they wouldn't even cut the rebar. I took the whole bunch back,
> along with my hacksaw and a short piece of rebar to show how the
> blades wouldn't cut it. The young "sales associate" looked at me
> incredulously and announced, "That's metal, no saw blade is going to
> cut metal." I suggested he learn more about the tools he is trying to
> sell before arguing with customers and that he get me a manager.
>
> DonkeyHody

I can't verify the authenticity of this one, but my friend tells me
it's true:

While shopping with his wife for some refinishing products to do their
diningroom table, they were looking at different methods. Looking at
one of them, he said to his wife that this method sounded like a good
one, but that it would require some elbow grease.
Without missing a beat, the attending 'sales associate' said: " I
don't know where we keep that stuff."

Billy Bob and Bubba are working on a finish-out job and Bubba is
putting up sheetrock. Billy Bob notices that Bubba is closely
inspecting each nail he pulls out of his pouch, and only using about
half of them, tossing the others away. Puzzled, he asks Bubba what's
wrong with those nails. Bubba pulls a nail from his pouch with the
point towards him and says "See, this nail is defective. The head is
on the wrong end!" Bubba jumps right in an says "You idiot! Save
those for the other side of the wall!"

On Nov 6, 9:46 am, Robatoy <[email protected]> wrote:
> On Nov 6, 9:25 am, DonkeyHody <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>
> > > Probably a relative of the "associate" I heard in another big box
> > > store, telling two how to find brick molding. She sent the guys to
> > > plumbing supplies.
>
> > > Unfortunately, my story is true.
>
> > Mine is true too.
> > Several years ago, I bought some "cheap" hacksaw blades at Sears
> > because I only needed to cut some rebar for concrete. They were so
> > bad they wouldn't even cut the rebar. I took the whole bunch back,
> > along with my hacksaw and a short piece of rebar to show how the
> > blades wouldn't cut it. The young "sales associate" looked at me
> > incredulously and announced, "That's metal, no saw blade is going to
> > cut metal." I suggested he learn more about the tools he is trying to
> > sell before arguing with customers and that he get me a manager.
>
> > DonkeyHody
>
> I can't verify the authenticity of this one, but my friend tells me
> it's true:
>
> While shopping with his wife for some refinishing products to do their
> diningroom table, they were looking at different methods. Looking at
> one of them, he said to his wife that this method sounded like a good
> one, but that it would require some elbow grease.
> Without missing a beat, the attending 'sales associate' said: " I
> don't know where we keep that stuff."

And it's not just our type of big box store: some weeks ago, I was in
the Roanoke Best Buy looking for a new radio for my pick-up. I
described the vehicle dash, which has a large stock opening, currently
holding the expensive POS stock radio. He tells me I need a wiring
harness for that. I looked at him. "Why do I need a wiring harness?"
He rstated that I need a wiring harness to fit the new radio into the
dash. I said, "Bullshit." That upset my wife. He then grabbed a box
off the display and shoved it at me, saying, "Here it is, a wiring
harness."

It was a face plate kit, of course. Wiring harness?

Where do they find these morons and how do they train them? Do
schools teach reading any more? Do all these youngsters think anyone
over 25 is too damned stupid to know anything about anything they are
looking to buy? I was wiring helicopters before this twerp's daddy
was born, so I do have some knowledge of what a wiring harness is and
how it is used.

All this got my wife irked at me for being rude to the stupid ass.

On Nov 7, 2:03 pm, Tim Daneliuk <[email protected]> wrote:

>
> You are male. You are married. You are thus always wrong. Get used
> to it.
>
Hey now, when I pick the same colour she likes, I'm right....


r

On Nov 7, 2:03 pm, Tim Daneliuk <[email protected]> wrote:
> Charlie Self wrote:
>
> <SHUDDER>
>
> > Where do they find these morons and how do they train them? Do
> > schools teach reading any more?
>
> Schools are a "government program". 'Nuff said.
>
>
>
> > All this got my wife irked at me for being rude to the stupid ass.
>
> You are male. You are married. You are thus always wrong. Get used
> to it.
>
> --

The last 20 years haven't been as bad as the first 20. Different
wives, of course.

On Nov 8, 11:26 pm, jo4hn <[email protected]> wrote:
> Charlie Self wrote:
> > On Nov 7, 2:03 pm, Tim Daneliuk <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> >>Charlie Self wrote:
>
> >><SHUDDER>
>
> >>>Where do they find these morons and how do they train them? Do
> >>>schools teach reading any more?
>
> >>Schools are a "government program". 'Nuff said.
>
> >>>All this got my wife irked at me for being rude to the stupid ass.
>
> >>You are male. You are married. You are thus always wrong. Get used
> >>to it.
>
> >>--
>
> > The last 20 years haven't been as bad as the first 20. Different
> > wives, of course.
>
> Same here. Margaret says that we both had our practice marriages. This
> one is for real. Gotta love her.
> ooooze,
> jo4hn

I don't know your Margaret, but dreamt many times about this one:

THE DUTCHMAN

The dutchman's not the kind of man To keep his thumb jammed in the dam
that holds his dreams in But that's a secret only Margaret knows When
Amsterdam is golden In the morning Margaret brings him breakfast, she
believes him He thinks the tulips bloom beneath the snow He's mad as
he can be, but Margaret only sees that sometimes Sometimes she sees
her unborn children in his eyes

Chorus: Let us go to the banks of the ocean Where the walls rise above
the Zuider Zee Long ago, I used to be a young man And dear Margaret
remembers that for me

The dutchman still wears wooden shoes His cap and coat are patched
with love that Margaret sewed in Sometimes he thinks he's still in
Rotterdam He watches tugboats down canals And calls out to them when
he thinks he knows the captain 'Till Margaret comes to take him home
again Through unforgiving streets that trip him though she holds his
arm Sometimes he thinks that he's alone and calls her name

The windmills swirl the winter in As she winds his muffler tighter,
they sit in the kitchen And the tea with whiskey keeps away the dew He
sees her for a moment Calls her name, she makes his bed up, humming
some old love song She learned it when the tune was very new He hums a
line or two, they hum together in the night The dutchman falls asleep
and Margaret blows the candle out

..........................................

Many have recorded that song...but Steve Goodman's version tears me to
shreds.

On Nov 9, 1:04 am, Robatoy <[email protected]> wrote:
> On Nov 8, 11:26 pm, jo4hn <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>
> > Charlie Self wrote:
> > > On Nov 7, 2:03 pm, Tim Daneliuk <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > >>Charlie Self wrote:
>
> > >><SHUDDER>
>
> > >>>Where do they find these morons and how do they train them? Do
> > >>>schools teach reading any more?
>
> > >>Schools are a "government program". 'Nuff said.
>
> > >>>All this got my wife irked at me for being rude to the stupid ass.
>
> > >>You are male. You are married. You are thus always wrong. Get used
> > >>to it.
>
> > >>--
>
> > > The last 20 years haven't been as bad as the first 20. Different
> > > wives, of course.
>
> > Same here. Margaret says that we both had our practice marriages. This
> > one is for real. Gotta love her.
> > ooooze,
> > jo4hn
>
> I don't know your Margaret, but dreamt many times about this one:
>
> THE DUTCHMAN
>
> The dutchman's not the kind of man To keep his thumb jammed in the dam
> that holds his dreams in But that's a secret only Margaret knows When
> Amsterdam is golden In the morning Margaret brings him breakfast, she
> believes him He thinks the tulips bloom beneath the snow He's mad as
> he can be, but Margaret only sees that sometimes Sometimes she sees
> her unborn children in his eyes
>
> Chorus: Let us go to the banks of the ocean Where the walls rise above
> the Zuider Zee Long ago, I used to be a young man And dear Margaret
> remembers that for me
>
> The dutchman still wears wooden shoes His cap and coat are patched
> with love that Margaret sewed in Sometimes he thinks he's still in
> Rotterdam He watches tugboats down canals And calls out to them when
> he thinks he knows the captain 'Till Margaret comes to take him home
> again Through unforgiving streets that trip him though she holds his
> arm Sometimes he thinks that he's alone and calls her name
>
> The windmills swirl the winter in As she winds his muffler tighter,
> they sit in the kitchen And the tea with whiskey keeps away the dew He
> sees her for a moment Calls her name, she makes his bed up, humming
> some old love song She learned it when the tune was very new He hums a
> line or two, they hum together in the night The dutchman falls asleep
> and Margaret blows the candle out
>
> ..........................................
>
> Many have recorded that song...but Steve Goodman's version tears me to
> shreds.

The line-wrap sure took the fun out of that lyric...shheeeeshhh

On Nov 6, 2:25 pm, DonkeyHody <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>=2E..
>
> Mine is true too.
> Several years ago, I bought some "cheap" hacksaw blades at Sears
> because I only needed to cut some rebar for concrete. They were so
> bad they wouldn't even cut the rebar. ...


>From the wikipedia entry for 'rebar':

"Modern rebar comprises high-yield steel, with a yield strength more
typically 500 N/mm=B2"

Does anybody care to convert that to Rockwell hardness for comparison
with
a typical cheap hacksaw blade?

Maybe your problem was due to good rebar, rather than crappy hacksaw
blades...

--

FF

Robatoy wrote:
> This guy walks into Home Depot and asks for a 3mm and 5 mm drill bit.
> The 'sales associate' asks what the job entails.
> The guy says: I want to drill a 8 mm hole, and if I start with a 3mm
> bit, then the 5mm bit will go easier."
> The 'sales associate' suggests: "buy a 4mm bit and use it twice. It
> will save you some money."

Or a 2mm used thrice...
Sheeesh.

>
> ---------
>
> Q: What is yellow and VERY annoying?
> A: A bananananananananananananananana
>

jo4hn wrote:

> Robatoy wrote:
>
>> This guy walks into Home Depot and asks for a 3mm and 5 mm drill bit.
>> The 'sales associate' asks what the job entails.
>> The guy says: I want to drill a 8 mm hole, and if I start with a 3mm
>> bit, then the 5mm bit will go easier."
>> The 'sales associate' suggests: "buy a 4mm bit and use it twice. It
>> will save you some money."
>
>
> Or a 2mm used thrice...
> Sheeesh.
>
I guess for that to work, you need a *power* drill.

Charlie Self wrote:
> On Nov 7, 2:03 pm, Tim Daneliuk <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>Charlie Self wrote:
>>
>><SHUDDER>
>>
>>>Where do they find these morons and how do they train them? Do
>>>schools teach reading any more?
>>
>>Schools are a "government program". 'Nuff said.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>>All this got my wife irked at me for being rude to the stupid ass.
>>
>>You are male. You are married. You are thus always wrong. Get used
>>to it.
>>
>>--
>
>
> The last 20 years haven't been as bad as the first 20. Different
> wives, of course.
>
>
Same here. Margaret says that we both had our practice marriages. This
one is for real. Gotta love her.
ooooze,
jo4hn

Charlie,

Same reason that if you mention 'Local Real Estate Tax' to my wife . . .
watch her EXPLODE !! It is 'designated' for the local school system. Mostly
goes to OVER PAID teachers . . . using their 'production' as a datum line.
This is a quiet suburb of Philadelphia, NOT an 'inner city war-zone'.

{Joanne grew up in what were 're-conditioned' WWII barracks at the
outer-fringes of Philadelphia. Her parents were probably what is
'politically correct' today - 'working poor'. Definitely no where
intelligent enough to help with her homework, she still achieved entrance to
Temple University . . . as a PHYSICAL CHEMIST !! Me? - I'm just a 'dumb
ex-GI {USAF} that worked & struggled his way through college. It was my
innate drive and curiosity, love of reading, and ability to apply what I
learned, that got me various jobs in Engineering.}

At least the one you dealt with was 'working'. In my neighborhood that seems
to be a bad word. Sometimes I think you are right on the mark . . . they
DON'T teach reading. Nor History - if something happened more then 30 days
in the past . . . they have NO knowledge of it. Same thing for 'simple'
logical thinking.

Then there is . . .

{Better stop now . . . and take my meds . . .}

Regards,
Ron Magen
Backyard Boatshop

"Charlie Self" <[email protected]> wrote ...
SNIP
> Where do they find these morons and how do they train them? Do
> schools teach reading any more? Do all these youngsters think anyone
> over 25 is too damned stupid to know anything about anything they are
> looking to buy? I was wiring helicopters before this twerp's daddy
> was born, so I do have some knowledge of what a wiring harness is and
> how it is used.
>
> All this got my wife irked at me for being rude to the stupid ass.
>

Robatoy wrote:
> On Nov 7, 2:03 pm, Tim Daneliuk <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> You are male. You are married. You are thus always wrong. Get used
>> to it.
>>
> Hey now, when I pick the same colour she likes, I'm right....
>
>
> r
>
>

You're still WRONG, OK?

;)


--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tim Daneliuk [email protected]
PGP Key: http://www.tundraware.com/PGP/

On Fri, 09 Nov 2007 14:18:02 -0800, Fred the Red Shirt
<[email protected]> wrote:

>"Modern rebar comprises high-yield steel, with a yield strength more
>typically 500 N/mm²"

Don't know about hardness numbers, but that's about 72,500 PSI. For
comparison, yield strength of a Grade 2 bolt is 36-57,000 and a Grade
5 is 81-92,000.

Tom Veatch
Wichita, KS
USA

Charlie Self wrote:
<SHUDDER>

> Where do they find these morons and how do they train them? Do
> schools teach reading any more?

Schools are a "government program". 'Nuff said.

>
> All this got my wife irked at me for being rude to the stupid ass.
>

You are male. You are married. You are thus always wrong. Get used
to it.

--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tim Daneliuk [email protected]
PGP Key: http://www.tundraware.com/PGP/

Robatoy offers:
> This guy walks into Home Depot and asks for a 3mm and 5 mm drill bit.
> The 'sales associate' asks what the job entails.
> The guy says: I want to drill a 8 mm hole, and if I start with a 3mm
> bit, then the 5mm bit will go easier."
> The 'sales associate' suggests: "buy a 4mm bit and use it twice. It
> will save you some money."

True stories:
I used to work in a very prominent retail hardware store. We would get some
odd questions, on occasion.

Lady calls and asks "ya know those 8x10 tarps you have advertised? Which
way does the 8 go and which way is the 10?"

When mixing and selling paint in the paint department, we would always tell
our customers buying large quantities of gallon sized paint cans to "box"
their paint to ensure a good color continuity. This of course meant mixing
the gallons together for color consistency. After a very large order of
custom mixed paint was delivered to a customer so they could paint their
house and trim, we got the phone call. I know, I know, but you're getting
ahead of me. She was yelling about how the color was all wrong. Turns out,
she mixed the main color with the trim color!

Had a lady come into the tool department. Her husband had sent her in to
buy a 90 degree attachment for his electric drill. I showed her the item on
the shelf. She balked at the price and asked, "well, couldn't he just bend
the drill bit?

Rock tumbler display on an end-cap. Lady standing there for a long time,
studying the tumblers and rock samples. We had rough rocks on one side and
tumbled rocks on the other side of one of the tumblers. When I enquired if
she needed help, she looked at me with a knowing smile and said, "you can't
tell me those are the same rocks!"

--

Best Regards, Phil
Living In The Woods Of Beautiful Bonney Lake, Washington
Visit My Web Site www.philsfun.com

Charlie Self wrote:
> On Nov 7, 2:03 pm, Tim Daneliuk <[email protected]> wrote:
>> Charlie Self wrote:
>>
>> <SHUDDER>
>>
>>> Where do they find these morons and how do they train them? Do
>>> schools teach reading any more?
>> Schools are a "government program". 'Nuff said.
>>
>>
>>
>>> All this got my wife irked at me for being rude to the stupid ass.
>> You are male. You are married. You are thus always wrong. Get used
>> to it.
>>
>> --
>
> The last 20 years haven't been as bad as the first 20. Different
> wives, of course.
>
>

Ahhh, the joys of serial monogamy...

--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tim Daneliuk [email protected]
PGP Key: http://www.tundraware.com/PGP/

On Wed, 07 Nov 2007 11:23:03 -0000, Charlie Self
<[email protected]> wrote:

>On Nov 6, 9:46 am, Robatoy <[email protected]> wrote:
>> On Nov 6, 9:25 am, DonkeyHody <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>> > > Probably a relative of the "associate" I heard in another big box
>> > > store, telling two how to find brick molding. She sent the guys to
>> > > plumbing supplies.
>>
>> > > Unfortunately, my story is true.
>>
>> > Mine is true too.
>> > Several years ago, I bought some "cheap" hacksaw blades at Sears
>> > because I only needed to cut some rebar for concrete. They were so
>> > bad they wouldn't even cut the rebar. I took the whole bunch back,
>> > along with my hacksaw and a short piece of rebar to show how the
>> > blades wouldn't cut it. The young "sales associate" looked at me
>> > incredulously and announced, "That's metal, no saw blade is going to
>> > cut metal." I suggested he learn more about the tools he is trying to
>> > sell before arguing with customers and that he get me a manager.
>>
>> > DonkeyHody
>>
>> I can't verify the authenticity of this one, but my friend tells me
>> it's true:
>>
>> While shopping with his wife for some refinishing products to do their
>> diningroom table, they were looking at different methods. Looking at
>> one of them, he said to his wife that this method sounded like a good
>> one, but that it would require some elbow grease.
>> Without missing a beat, the attending 'sales associate' said: " I
>> don't know where we keep that stuff."
>
>And it's not just our type of big box store: some weeks ago, I was in
>the Roanoke Best Buy looking for a new radio for my pick-up. I
>described the vehicle dash, which has a large stock opening, currently
>holding the expensive POS stock radio. He tells me I need a wiring
>harness for that. I looked at him. "Why do I need a wiring harness?"
>He rstated that I need a wiring harness to fit the new radio into the
>dash. I said, "Bullshit." That upset my wife. He then grabbed a box
>off the display and shoved it at me, saying, "Here it is, a wiring
>harness."
>
>It was a face plate kit, of course. Wiring harness?
>
>Where do they find these morons and how do they train them? Do
>schools teach reading any more? Do all these youngsters think anyone
>over 25 is too damned stupid to know anything about anything they are
>looking to buy? I was wiring helicopters before this twerp's daddy
>was born, so I do have some knowledge of what a wiring harness is and
>how it is used.
>
>All this got my wife irked at me for being rude to the stupid ass.

heh heh I can relate! My wife has walked away many times when I was
compeled to tell some idiot that guess what HE'S an IDIOT!
Then I catch it from her for being honest! (But she always takes me
with her to buy a new car) Gotta love those pushy sales people for
fun.
Kenneth