I can think of a few other states where this would apply.
Enjoy
Lew
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
THE RULES OF RURAL INDIANA ARE AS FOLLOWS:
Listen up City Slickers!
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.'
I drive a pickup truck because I want to.
No matter how slow you drive, you're going to
get dust on your Lexus.
Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. They are live steaks.
That's why they smell funny to you.
But they smell like money to us.
Get over it. Don't like it?
I-70 goes east-west, I-65 goes north-south.
Pick one.
5. So you have a $60,000 car.
We're unimpressed.
We have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers
that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. So every person in rural Indiana waves.
It's called being friendly.
Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck
and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it
out of your hand.
You better hope you don't have it up to your ear
at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat taters and gravy, beans and
cornbread.
You really want sushi and caviar?
It's available at Jim's bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season.
It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to
the first of November.
10. We open doors for women.
That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu.
Order steak.
Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off
the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main
dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads.
We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in
Cincinnati call that stuff you eat...
IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be
brown, wet and served over ice.
14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house,
she better be cute, know how to shoot,
drive a truck, and have long hair.
15. College and High School Football is as
important here as the Pacers and the Colts
and more fun to watch.
16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't
hit the water hazards?
It spooks the fish.
17. Colleges? We have them all over.
We have State Universities, Community
Colleges, and Vo-techs.
They come outta there with an education plus
a love for God and country, and they still wave
at everybody when they come for the holidays.
18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army,
Navy, Air Force, and Marines.
So don't mess with us.
If you do, you will get whipped by the best.
19. Turn down that blasted car stereo!
That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway.
We don't want to hear it anymore than we
want to see your boxers.
20. 4 inches of snow isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry.
Drive like you got some sense in it, and
DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach
from the grocery stores.
This ain't Alaska .
Worst case you may have to live a whole day
without croissants.
The pickups with snow blades will have you
out the next day.
dpb:
> It's having the city slickers come out and dump their trash, drive
> through fences, shoot cattle for target practice, etc., that has much to
> do w/ us being that unfriendly... :(
What a load of nonsense. My wife has a farm, and people trespass, dump
trash, break fences, steal crops (melons, pumpkins, corn), hunt dove
without permission, etc., but the great majority of these people are
local, not city people.
Is your area so different that people from the city come out in
motorcades and line up to trash your farm?
A city dweller could just as well complain about hicks who drive into
the city and who are a menace to public safety because they have no
idea how to drive on a freeway, don't know how to merge with traffic,
sit still at green lights because they have no idea where they are,
etc. I see this all the time. Lots of city dwellers are bothered by
this behavior, but It's not something I would complain about; people
are people, and a little tolerance never hurt anyone.
As for Indiana, I think the OP was expressing personal intolerance. We
see a lot of that around the world. But Indiana has no more of a
history of bigotry, intolerance, and xenophobia than any other place in
America. (Although Indiana legislators once tried, unsuccessfully, to
legislate three new, and incorrect, values of Pi!) People in general
don't like people who are different. (That, and greed, are the biggest
causes of war, I think.) I drive across Indiana two or three times a
year, often spending the night in Crawfordsville. Pretty state, nice
people. I haven't run into any Hoosier who cares what kind of pants I
wear or how I wear my hat--so long as it says John Deere on it ;). I
can tell you where to get the best sushi in the farming community of
Crawfordsville. And I can tell you where to get the best "taters and
gravy, beans, and cornbread" in New York, in Cairo, in London, Paris,
Frankfurt, Tel Aviv, Bangkok, Jakarta, and a few other cities I have
lived in or visited. So what?
Now you'll have to excuse me. I slept late and I'm going to make myse'f
up a poultice of grits for brunch.
Davoud
--
usenet *at* davidillig dawt com
On Apr 2, 8:31 pm, "Lew Hodgett" <[email protected]> wrote:
> I can think of a few other states where this would apply.
>
> Enjoy
>
> Lew
>
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> THE RULES OF RURAL INDIANA ARE AS FOLLOWS:
>
> Listen up City Slickers!
>
> 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
>
> 2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
>
>
> 8. Yeah, we eat taters and gravy, beans and
> cornbread.
>
> You really want sushi and caviar?
>
> It's available at Jim's bait shop.
The three best. Most of the rest just sound like an unfriendly farmer,
of which there are plenty.
I'm always amused by these lists that tell everyone how friendly the
folks are while threatening to blow visitors' heads off or run them
over.
On Apr 3, 11:53 am, jo4hn <[email protected]> wrote:
> Charlie Self wrote:
> > On Apr 2, 8:31 pm, "Lew Hodgett" <[email protected]> wrote:
> >> I can think of a few other states where this would apply.
>
> >> Enjoy
>
> >> Lew
>
> >> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
> >> THE RULES OF RURAL INDIANA ARE AS FOLLOWS:
>
> >> Listen up City Slickers!
>
> >> 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
>
> >> 2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
>
> >> 8. Yeah, we eat taters and gravy, beans and
> >> cornbread.
>
> >> You really want sushi and caviar?
>
> >> It's available at Jim's bait shop.
>
> > The three best. Most of the rest just sound like an unfriendly farmer,
> > of which there are plenty.
>
> > I'm always amused by these lists that tell everyone how friendly the
> > folks are while threatening to blow visitors' heads off or run them
> > over.
>
> Up here in the boondocks, the most telling insult is "flatlander".
> Otherwise it's "you ain't from around here, are you?" and then everybody
> laughs. Phew, it's a fast paced life we lead.
>
> boy howdy,
> jo4hn
I got that here, too, some 31 years ago. My response: "Thank God."
Astounding how that shuts the flappers up.
Actually, at one point, both my parents' families were from Virginia,
but...Mom's family still is, Dad's is in Kentucky, and we were raised
in NY (and on VA farms in summer).
On Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:44:11 GMT, Davoud <[email protected]> wrote:
>A city dweller could just as well complain about hicks who drive into
>the city and who are a menace to public safety because they have no
>idea how to drive on a freeway, don't know how to merge with traffic,
>sit still at green lights because they have no idea where they are,
>etc.
30 years of experience in Atlanta, has taught me that this also
applies to the locals...
John
On Apr 3, 9:24 am, dpb <[email protected]> wrote:
> Charlie Self wrote:
>
> ...
>
> > ...the rest just sound like an unfriendly farmer,
> > of which there are plenty.
>
> It's having the city slickers come out and dump their trash, drive
> through fences, shoot cattle for target practice, etc., that has much to
> do w/ us being that unfriendly... :(
>
> --
Really? Not around here. Many of them were born unfriendly and grow
into it. I've been in this county for more than 30 years, and have yet
to see a "city slicker" drive through a fence, and the country types
need no lessons on dumping trash or shooting cows. Hillbilly heaven is
a place knee deep alongside every road with empty beer cans, booze
bottles and McDonald's wrappers. It doesn't take a city slicker to do
that, and few do.
On Thu, 03 Apr 2008 00:31:54 GMT, "Lew Hodgett"
<[email protected]> wrote:
>THE RULES OF RURAL INDIANA ARE AS FOLLOWS:
Having grown up in suburban Chicago, now living in Southern Illinois
could be well adapted to the kids who come to college from the big
city. But only outside of Carbondale damn academics. :)
Mark
(sixoneeight) = 618
Charlie Self wrote:
> On Apr 2, 8:31 pm, "Lew Hodgett" <[email protected]> wrote:
>> I can think of a few other states where this would apply.
>>
>> Enjoy
>>
>> Lew
>>
>> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>>
>> THE RULES OF RURAL INDIANA ARE AS FOLLOWS:
>>
>> Listen up City Slickers!
>>
>> 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
>>
>> 2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
>>
>>
>> 8. Yeah, we eat taters and gravy, beans and
>> cornbread.
>>
>> You really want sushi and caviar?
>>
>> It's available at Jim's bait shop.
>
> The three best. Most of the rest just sound like an unfriendly farmer,
> of which there are plenty.
>
> I'm always amused by these lists that tell everyone how friendly the
> folks are while threatening to blow visitors' heads off or run them
> over.
>
Up here in the boondocks, the most telling insult is "flatlander".
Otherwise it's "you ain't from around here, are you?" and then everybody
laughs. Phew, it's a fast paced life we lead.
boy howdy,
jo4hn
"dpb" <[email protected]> wrote in message >
> It's having the city slickers come out and dump their trash, drive
> through fences, shoot cattle for target practice, etc., that has much to
> do w/ us being that unfriendly... :(
That would do it. Under those circumstances, I can't really blame you.
"Charlie Self" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On Apr 2, 8:31 pm, "Lew Hodgett" <[email protected]> wrote:
>> I can think of a few other states where this would apply.
>>
>> Enjoy
>>
>> THE RULES OF RURAL INDIANA ARE AS FOLLOWS:
>>
>> Listen up City Slickers!
>>
[..]
>
> The three best. Most of the rest just sound like an unfriendly farmer,
> of which there are plenty.
>
> I'm always amused by these lists that tell everyone how friendly the
> folks are while threatening to blow visitors' heads off or run them
> over.
>
Yes. Friendly to your own kind and intolerant of anybody different.
I have put Indiana on my list of places I never want to visit.
Tim w
On Apr 4, 3:51 pm, dpb <[email protected]> wrote:
> Charlie Self wrote:
> > On Apr 3, 9:24 am, dpb <[email protected]> wrote:
> >> Charlie Self wrote:
>
> >> ...
>
> >>> ...the rest just sound like an unfriendly farmer,
> >>> of which there are plenty.
> >> It's having the city slickers come out and dump their trash, drive
> >> through fences, shoot cattle for target practice, etc., that has much to
> >> do w/ us being that unfriendly... :(
>
> >> --
>
> > Really? Not around here. Many of them were born unfriendly and grow
> > into it. I've been in this county for more than 30 years, and have yet
> > to see a "city slicker" drive through a fence, and the country types
> > need no lessons on dumping trash or shooting cows. Hillbilly heaven is
> > a place knee deep alongside every road with empty beer cans, booze
> > bottles and McDonald's wrappers. It doesn't take a city slicker to do
> > that, and few do.
>
> Well, that's the exception here -- landowners here take pride in their
> places and almost all the trash along roadsides, etc., comes from
> outside parties, not the landowners.
>
> They are "local" in the sense they live in the town, but they are
> charged for trash there or have to bag it, etc., so it's cheaper to find
> a roadside ditch.
>
> Cattle-shooting seems to be a bored city teen phenomenon for the most
> part, w/ the occasional hunter w/ a high-powered rifle who (apparently)
> gets bored w/ pheasant.
>
> This is, of course, quite low population density in rural areas in
> comparison to any area east of the Mississippi (or even in the eastern
> part of the state) so that makes a major difference.
>
> I spent 30 yrs in E TN and SW Va and worked coal mine and prep plants
> doing service on coal analyzers which included S IN/IL fields as well so
> I do know what some of that country looks like. The "good" IN farm
> country other than it rains more and on average they're somewhat smaller
> tends to look much more like we think stuff should look here...
>
> --
Unfortunately, rednecks are also landowners, and plentiful. That's
where the trashing here comes from. They don't take pride in their own
places and are perfectly willing to make others look as much like
additions to the dump as theirs do.
But they are not city types, nor from outside. A few come from
families that have been here since before the Revolution. Yes, some
are teenagers, but I can't recall the last time we had a complaint
about farm animals being shot. It does happen, but something on the
order of biannually, which, given the hunters' deer kill of something
close to 7,000 each year in this county, isn't all that bad.
I can't comment on Indiana, because my primarily familiarity comes
from driving through Gary many years ago, which is not a truly
enlightening experience.
Davoud wrote:
> dpb:
>> It's having the city slickers come out and dump their trash, drive
>> through fences, shoot cattle for target practice, etc., that has much to
>> do w/ us being that unfriendly... :(
>
> What a load of nonsense. My wife has a farm, and people trespass, dump
> trash, break fences, steal crops (melons, pumpkins, corn), hunt dove
> without permission, etc., but the great majority of these people are
> local, not city people.
...
Well, it is hardly "city" in the sense of what most consider a city, but
they do come from within city limits to outside specifically to dump
their trash, etc. There are only half a dozen other resident landowners
within 5 miles and I know them all well enough that I know they're not
the ones, so yes the offenders are what we call city people while
perhaps still qualifying as "local".
The worst of the bad hunters do come from elsewhere for the most part.
There are decent ones in there, too, of course, but the few taint the
rest...
--
Charlie Self wrote:
> On Apr 3, 9:24 am, dpb <[email protected]> wrote:
>> Charlie Self wrote:
>>
>> ...
>>
>>> ...the rest just sound like an unfriendly farmer,
>>> of which there are plenty.
>> It's having the city slickers come out and dump their trash, drive
>> through fences, shoot cattle for target practice, etc., that has much to
>> do w/ us being that unfriendly... :(
>>
>> --
>
> Really? Not around here. Many of them were born unfriendly and grow
> into it. I've been in this county for more than 30 years, and have yet
> to see a "city slicker" drive through a fence, and the country types
> need no lessons on dumping trash or shooting cows. Hillbilly heaven is
> a place knee deep alongside every road with empty beer cans, booze
> bottles and McDonald's wrappers. It doesn't take a city slicker to do
> that, and few do.
Well, that's the exception here -- landowners here take pride in their
places and almost all the trash along roadsides, etc., comes from
outside parties, not the landowners.
They are "local" in the sense they live in the town, but they are
charged for trash there or have to bag it, etc., so it's cheaper to find
a roadside ditch.
Cattle-shooting seems to be a bored city teen phenomenon for the most
part, w/ the occasional hunter w/ a high-powered rifle who (apparently)
gets bored w/ pheasant.
This is, of course, quite low population density in rural areas in
comparison to any area east of the Mississippi (or even in the eastern
part of the state) so that makes a major difference.
I spent 30 yrs in E TN and SW Va and worked coal mine and prep plants
doing service on coal analyzers which included S IN/IL fields as well so
I do know what some of that country looks like. The "good" IN farm
country other than it rains more and on average they're somewhat smaller
tends to look much more like we think stuff should look here...
--
Charlie Self wrote:
...
> Unfortunately, rednecks are also landowners, and plentiful. That's
> where the trashing here comes from. They don't take pride in their own
> places and are perfectly willing to make others look as much like
> additions to the dump as theirs do.
>
> But they are not city types, nor from outside. A few come from
> families that have been here since before the Revolution. ...
I feel your pain, then...those types are pretty rare here -- the rural
places that are pig sty-like are generally renters or a couple or areas
where there have been individual lots sold off. But, those folks are
for the most part, at least, content to dump on themselves rather than
others. The landowners in the County, even if they don't keep their
places in picture-postcard shape at least don't dump on their neighbors.
Our problems do come from town and were _greatly_ exacerbated when they
started pretty expensive (minimum $18) fees for the dump and stopped
accepting household trash except for fee as well. Also used to take
brush/tree trimmings free for their composter, but stopped that as well.
So, now we get everything the cheapskates won't take to the dump.
Livestock problems tend to come in rashes of events, for some
reason--it'll be quite a while, then somebody will report an incident
and seems like then we'll have a whole bunch for a while. Seems to be a
copy-cat syndrome in effect.