How men and women record things (differently) in their diaries...
------ Wife's Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a
nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I
thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment
on it.
Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we
could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing..' I asked him if it was my fault
that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me,
and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He
smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know
why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted
nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He
continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I
decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt
that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I
cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with
someone else.
My life is a disaster.
-----Husband's Diary:
A two-foot putt..........who the hell misses a two-foot putt?!
Elane and Roger
On The Condition of Human Relationships
Source Unknown.
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine.
He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good
time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they
enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and
after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs
to Elaine, and , without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do
you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for
exactly six months?"
And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a
very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it
bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by
our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some
kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind
of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space,
so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep
going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are
we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level
of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward
a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I
really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking: So, that means it was... let's see...
February when we started going out, which was right after I had the
car at the dealer's, which means...let me check the odometer... Whoa!
I am way overdue for an oil change here.
And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe
I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our
relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed,
even before I sensed it, that I was feeling some reservations. Yes,
I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about
his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
And Roger is thinking: And I'm going to have them look at the
transmission again . I don't care what those morons say, it's still
not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold
weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees and this thing
is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves
$600.
And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be
angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't
help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.
And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day
warranty... scumballs.
And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a
knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right
next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person
I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A
person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic
fantasy.
And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a
warranty . I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their..
.
"Roger," Elaine says aloud. "What?" says Roger, startled.
"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning
to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh God, I feel so...
(Shebreaks down, sobbing.)
"What?" says Roger.
"I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I
really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no
horse."
"There's no horse?" says Roger. "You think I'm a fool, don't you?"
Elaine says. "No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
"It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Elaine says.
There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can,
tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one
that he thinks might work . "Yes," he says.
Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand. "Oh, Roger, do you really feel
that way? " she says.
"What way?" says Roger. "That way about time," says Elaine.
"Oh," says Roger. "Yes."
Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him
to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if
it involves a horse. At last she speaks. "Thank you, Roger," she says.
"Thank you," says Roger.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured
soul, and weeps until dawn.
When Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on
the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis
match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in
the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going
on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would
ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think
about it.
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of
them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours.
In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and
everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every
word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every
possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off
and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite
conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend
of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say,
"Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"
And that's the difference between men and women.
In article <[email protected]>,
<[email protected]> wrote:
>Dave Berry wrote something similar a number of years ago. It involved a a
>man and woman in an automobile. She was trying to get him to discuss the
>future of their relationship and he was thinking about a repair made on his
>car. I made both of my teenage daughters read it to give them a true idea of
>what living with men was about.
http://www.cs.virginia.edu/~an4m/fun/thoughtful-look
--
-Ed Falk, [email protected]
http://thespamdiaries.blogspot.com/
Dave Berry wrote something similar a number of years ago. It involved a a
man and woman in an automobile. She was trying to get him to discuss the
future of their relationship and he was thinking about a repair made on his
car. I made both of my teenage daughters read it to give them a true idea of
what living with men was about.