OT: the difference between men and women

You're baaaaaaaaaaaack.... ;-) Good to see ya.

-- Mark

Leon wrote:

> I thought you said fair well because you were too busy and tired of all
> the
> OT stuff being posted. No?

Ironic, innit?

Maybe I should have said all the uninteresting OT stuff being posted.

Or maybe I'm just a dirty steenkin' hypocrite.

--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/

And on topic with a wood product.

"Mark Jerde" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:2jBmd.5153$N_5.351@trnddc03...
> You're baaaaaaaaaaaack.... ;-) Good to see ya.
>
> -- Mark
>
>

"Silvan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Leon wrote:
>
>> I thought you said fair well because you were too busy and tired of all
>> the
>> OT stuff being posted. No?
>
> Ironic, innit?
>
> Maybe I should have said all the uninteresting OT stuff being posted.
>
> Or maybe I'm just a dirty steenkin' hypocrite.


LOL... Good to se you back..

"Silvan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> SWMBO and I were watching the idiot light together just now. I was
reading
> my Popular Mechanics, and she was clipping out coupons.
>
> She turned to me and said "OH MY GOD CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS!?!? LOOK AT
THIS!
> JUST LOOK! LOOK! LOOK AT THIS! A DOLLAR NINETY NINE FOR [my brand of]
> TOILET PAPER!! ONE NINETY NINE!!! I JUST PAID TWO SEVENTY THREE FOR THAT
> SAME TOILET PAPER YESTERDAY! CAN YOU believe THIS?!?!?!?!"
>
> I think that stands by itself without any need to offer further thoughts
on
> the matter.
>

No, no, no. This is the difference between a man and a woman...

How To Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.

2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband [along
the way, cover up any exposed areas].

3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
sit-ups.

4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah, and pumice stone.

5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.

6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with
natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.

9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

11. Shave armpits and legs.

12. Turn off shower.

13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair
in super absorbent towel.

15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.

16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


How To Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.

2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener
at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener
and scratch your ass.

4. Get in the shower.

5. Wash your face

6. Wash your armpits.

7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in
the shower.



9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

11. Shampoo your hair.

12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

13. Pee.

14. Rinse off and get out of shower.

15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.

16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull
off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

19. Throw wet towel on bed.


--

-Mike-
[email protected]

"Silvan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> SWMBO and I were watching the idiot light together just now. I was
> reading
> my Popular Mechanics, and she was clipping out coupons.
>
> She turned to me and said "OH MY GOD CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS!?!? LOOK AT
> THIS!
> JUST LOOK! LOOK! LOOK AT THIS! A DOLLAR NINETY NINE FOR [my brand of]
> TOILET PAPER!! ONE NINETY NINE!!! I JUST PAID TWO SEVENTY THREE FOR THAT
> SAME TOILET PAPER YESTERDAY! CAN YOU believe THIS?!?!?!?!"
>
> I think that stands by itself without any need to offer further thoughts
> on
> the matter.


I thought you said fair well because you were too busy and tired of all the
OT stuff being posted. No?

On Tue, 16 Nov 2004 21:42:21 -0500, Silvan
<[email protected]> vaguely proposed a theory
......and in reply I say!:

remove ns from my header address to reply via email

So _all_ you guys feel like this as well? _None_ of us understand
those......others....them......over there?

Not sure whether to feel better or worse. I am in good company, but
there really is no hope....

>SWMBO and I were watching the idiot light together just now. I was reading
>my Popular Mechanics, and she was clipping out coupons.
>
>She turned to me and said "OH MY GOD CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS!?!? LOOK AT THIS!
>JUST LOOK! LOOK! LOOK AT THIS! A DOLLAR NINETY NINE FOR [my brand of]
>TOILET PAPER!! ONE NINETY NINE!!! I JUST PAID TWO SEVENTY THREE FOR THAT
>SAME TOILET PAPER YESTERDAY! CAN YOU believe THIS?!?!?!?!"
>
>I think that stands by itself without any need to offer further thoughts on
>the matter.

*****************************************************
Dogs are better than people.

People are better than dogs for only one purpose. And
then it's only half of ofthe people. And _then_ most
of them are only ordinary anyway. And then they have a
headache.........

I'm not one to clip coupons, but I was impressed when I found out that a
new Target is selling Yoplait yogurt for 57 cents instead of the $1 that
Albertson and Safeway charges.

David

Silvan wrote:

> SWMBO and I were watching the idiot light together just now. I was reading
> my Popular Mechanics, and she was clipping out coupons.
>
> She turned to me and said "OH MY GOD CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS!?!? LOOK AT THIS!
> JUST LOOK! LOOK! LOOK AT THIS! A DOLLAR NINETY NINE FOR [my brand of]
> TOILET PAPER!! ONE NINETY NINE!!! I JUST PAID TWO SEVENTY THREE FOR THAT
> SAME TOILET PAPER YESTERDAY! CAN YOU believe THIS?!?!?!?!"
>
> I think that stands by itself without any need to offer further thoughts on
> the matter.
>

On Tue, 16 Nov 2004 21:42:21 -0500, Silvan wrote:

> SWMBO and I were watching the idiot light together just now. I was
> reading my Popular Mechanics, and she was clipping out coupons.
>
> She turned to me and said "OH MY GOD CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS!?!? LOOK AT
> THIS! JUST LOOK! LOOK! LOOK AT THIS! A DOLLAR NINETY NINE FOR [my brand
> of] TOILET PAPER!! ONE NINETY NINE!!! I JUST PAID TWO SEVENTY THREE FOR
> THAT SAME TOILET PAPER YESTERDAY! CAN YOU believe THIS?!?!?!?!"
>
> I think that stands by itself without any need to offer further thoughts
> on the matter.


Hey!! I thought you were out-a-here because of O.T. posts?

Just kidding. Stick around for a while.


Bob

'nother Linux using, sawdust making, truck driver, (retired).

One thousand packages of toilet paper from now, you can justify that new
piece of arn.....

8-)

Joe C.

"Silvan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> SWMBO and I were watching the idiot light together just now. I was
reading
> my Popular Mechanics, and she was clipping out coupons.
>
> She turned to me and said "OH MY GOD CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS!?!? LOOK AT
THIS!
> JUST LOOK! LOOK! LOOK AT THIS! A DOLLAR NINETY NINE FOR [my brand of]
> TOILET PAPER!! ONE NINETY NINE!!! I JUST PAID TWO SEVENTY THREE FOR THAT
> SAME TOILET PAPER YESTERDAY! CAN YOU believe THIS?!?!?!?!"
>
> I think that stands by itself without any need to offer further thoughts
on
> the matter.
>
> --
> Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
> Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
> http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
> http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/

On Tue, 16 Nov 2004 21:42:21 -0500, Silvan
<[email protected]> vaguely proposed a theory
......and in reply I say!:

remove ns from my header address to reply via email

>SWMBO and I were watching the idiot light together just now. I was reading
>my Popular Mechanics, and she was clipping out coupons.
>
>She turned to me and said "OH MY GOD CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS!?!? LOOK AT THIS!
>JUST LOOK! LOOK! LOOK AT THIS! A DOLLAR NINETY NINE FOR [my brand of]
>TOILET PAPER!! ONE NINETY NINE!!! I JUST PAID TWO SEVENTY THREE FOR THAT
>SAME TOILET PAPER YESTERDAY! CAN YOU believe THIS?!?!?!?!"
>
>I think that stands by itself without any need to offer further thoughts on
>the matter.

I disagree. What are you trying to say?

*****************************************************
Dogs are better than people.

People are better than dogs for only one purpose. And
then it's only half of ofthe people. And _then_ most
of them are only ordinary anyway. And then they have a
headache.........