Welcome To Phoenix!
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is: "fe - niks."
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own
version of traffic rules...the cars/truck
with the loudest muffler goes next at a 4-way stop. The truck with the
biggest tires goes after that. (Note: Blue haired ladies driving
anything have right of way anytime.)
3. To find anything in Phoenix it is required that you know where
Central and Washington is... which is the Alpha and Omega. The Beginning
and the End.
4. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour is
from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out and possibly shot.
6. You must know that "Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway, I-10" are the
same road.
7. Construction is a permanent fixture in Phoenix. =A0The barrels are
moved around in the middle of the night to make the next days driving a
bit more exciting.
8. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs,
barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other cars,
truck tires, squirrels, rabbits, and crows or vultures feeding on any of
these items.
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated".
10. The minimum acceptable speed on "all freeways, I-10, I-17 & U.S.60
(see above) is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. This
is Arizona's version of NASCAR.
11. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. (it maybe a hazard to your
health)
12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 55-65 zone ...
you are considered a road hazard, and will be "flipped off" accordingly.
13. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended for city
driving.
14. If it's 70 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
JOAT
I find the best approach is to take life as it comes.
- Death
Life just ain't life without good music. - JOAT
Web Page Update 13 Oct 2003.
Some tunes I like.
http://community-2.webtv.net/Jakofalltrades/SOMETUNESILIKE/
On Tue, 14 Oct 2003 21:08:06 -0400 (EDT), [email protected]
(T.) wrote:
>Welcome To Phoenix!
>
Many years ago lived up in Eastern AZ as a kid. We came down to
Phoenix once or twice a year. My favorite memory is coming down from
the land of sub-zero and 6 feet of snow to find it 70+ degrees and
everyone wearing down jackets. Not only that, the swimming pool at the
motel was closed because it was "too cold out to swim".
I'd rather live in Boston than Phoenix.
Tim Douglass
http://www.DouglassClan.com
> "T." <[email protected]> wrote ...
> Welcome To Phoenix!
Been here 12 years, but only discovered two years ago
that I live 2 miles south of Chandler Hardwoods.
That's a whole decade I wasted buying overpriced hardwood.
> 6. You must know that "Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway, I-10"
> are the same road.
But new people won't have a clue about the "Squaw Peak Parkway".
This message was posted and cc'd.
--
Dennis M. O'Connor [email protected]
When I'm done building shop fixtures and buying tools,
I'll probably do some woodwork.
"T." <[email protected]> wrote ...
> I live in North Carolina last I checked.
So, what motivated you to dis Phoenix AZ ?
If you were local, it'd just be self-deprecating humor.
But as someone from the decaying East Coast,
you motives are suspect.
--
Dennis M. O'Connor [email protected]
"T." <[email protected]> wrote ...
Wed, Oct 15, 2003, 9:09pm (EDT-3) [email protected]
(Dennis M. O'Connor) puts out:
>>So, what motivated you to dis Phoenix AZ ? If you were local, it'd just
>>be self-deprecating humor. But as someone from the decaying East Coast,
>>you motives are suspect.
> Dis? Didn't know that was a word, so checked the dictionary.
[... didn't find it ...]
Get a newer dictionary. It's common slang meaning, essentially,
to insult and be disrespectful.
> Decaying East Coast? Don't know where you got that from.
Maybe from living there (Virginia, NYC, upstate NY) for 26 years ?
> I've been on the West Coast. Which is one reason I live in the east.
Oh, is the East Coast and West Coast all of America, then ?
> Motivation? I passed it along as humor
Next time, post your insulting non-woodworking humor
to rec.humor, then. You _do_ understand why there are
separate newsgroups, and not just everyone posting
to the same forum, right ?
--
Dennis M. O'Connor [email protected]
Thu, Oct 16, 2003, 7:32am (EDT-3) [email protected]
(Dennis=A0M.=A0O'Connor) says:
Get a newer dictionary. It's common slang meaning, essentially, to
insult and be disrespectful.
Ah, you mean slang. I don't post slang. I want people to be sure
what I'm saying. But, one thing, that's the first time I've ever seen
dis used, outside of a movie or TV show.
Maybe from living there (Virginia, NYC, upstate NY) for 26 years ?
Yeah, I'd probably bitch about living in those places too. In
fact, I did live in Virginia for about 5 years. Nice place to visit,
but I wouldn't want to live there.
Oh, is the East Coast and West Coast all of America, then ?
Well, sure, depnding on how you look at it. East of the
Mississippi River is east coats, and west is west coast. Basic.
Next time, post your insulting non-woodworking humor to rec.humor, then.
You _do_ understand why there are separate newsgroups, and not just
everyone posting to the same forum, right ?
ROTFLMAO Not that I was going to post there, but out of curiosity,
I went to rec.humor. First post I saw was asking why there was no numor
in rec.humor. But, you do know you're discriminating against me. All
the off-topic posts on here and you pick on me. Tell you what, you
jump on everyone's ass that's posted OT here, and then I will publicaly
apoligize to the group, and you personally, for starting this thread.
But, I think you're just upset because I said don't cc me, but you've
been here long enough you should already know that, I've said it often
enough. But, I don't know if you're one of the too-tight people, just
being silly, or trolling. But, if you'll read the subject line, it does
say way OT.
Ooooh, damn. I just remembered, I posted another OT post. Oooooh.
Oh yeah, that's OK, I put WARNING first. LOL Feel free to either
ignore my future posts entirely, or put me in your killfile. Have a
nice day. Game over, insert another coin to play again.
JOAT
I'd be happy to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Life just ain't life without good music. - JOAT
Web Page Update 13 Oct 2003.
Some tunes I like.
http://community-2.webtv.net/Jakofalltrades/SOMETUNESILIKE/
"T." <[email protected]> wrote ...
[ ... whatever ...]
And here I thought my impression of WebTV
as the dumbest of the dumb might be wrong.
You proved me wrong. Plonk.
--
Dennis M. O'Connor [email protected]
Wed, Oct 15, 2003, 9:09pm (EDT-3) [email protected]
(Dennis=A0M.=A0O'Connor) puts out:
So, what motivated you to dis Phoenix AZ ? If you were local, it'd just
be self-deprecating humor. But as someone from the decaying East Coast,
you motives are suspect.
Dis? Didn't know that was a word, so checked the dictionary. That
claims it's a prefix. So what's the rest of it? Disable, disorder,
disuse, disband, disgrace, dislike, dislodge, dismay, dismember,
dismiss, dismount, disrelish, disrobe? Any of those?
Decaying East Coast? Don't know where you got that from. I've
been on the West Coast. Which is one reason I live in the east. I'm
about an hour from the actual coast tho.
Motivation? I passed it along as humor, for those with a sense of
humor. It was sent to me by my sister, as humor. She's lived out there
for about 30+ years.
JOAT
Drink coffee. Do stupid things faster, with more energy.
Life just ain't life without good music. - JOAT
Web Page Update 13 Oct 2003.
Some tunes I like.
http://community-2.webtv.net/Jakofalltrades/SOMETUNESILIKE/
Tue, Oct 14, 2003, 10:29pm (EDT-3) [email protected]
(Dennis=A0M.=A0O'Connor) says:
<snip> This message was posted and cc'd.
So I noticed. I would appreciate no future cc. I live in North
Carolina last I checked.
JOAT
I find the best approach is to take life as it comes.
- Death
Life just ain't life without good music. - JOAT
Web Page Update 13 Oct 2003.
Some tunes I like.
http://community-2.webtv.net/Jakofalltrades/SOMETUNESILIKE/
"Todd L" <[email protected]> wrote ...
> Dennis, where is Chandler Hardwoods? Can't find a location for it.
> Thanks,
It's just south of Chandler Airport. Start at Queen Creek and
McQueen. Drive east, either a quarter or half a mile.
Turn right (south) and it's on your left. Sorry I can't give
better directions than that, but I get there by feel, since
it is so close.
--
Dennis M. O'Connor [email protected]
> "Dennis M. O'Connor" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> > > "T." <[email protected]> wrote ...
> > > Welcome To Phoenix!
> >
> > Been here 12 years, but only discovered two years ago
> > that I live 2 miles south of Chandler Hardwoods.
> > That's a whole decade I wasted buying overpriced hardwood.
> >
> > > 6. You must know that "Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway, I-10"
> > > are the same road.
> >
> > But new people won't have a clue about the "Squaw Peak Parkway".
Dennis, where is Chandler Hardwoods? Can't find a location for it.
Thanks,
Todd L
"Dennis M. O'Connor" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> > "T." <[email protected]> wrote ...
> > Welcome To Phoenix!
>
> Been here 12 years, but only discovered two years ago
> that I live 2 miles south of Chandler Hardwoods.
> That's a whole decade I wasted buying overpriced hardwood.
>
> > 6. You must know that "Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway, I-10"
> > are the same road.
>
> But new people won't have a clue about the "Squaw Peak Parkway".
>
> This message was posted and cc'd.
> --
> Dennis M. O'Connor [email protected]
> When I'm done building shop fixtures and buying tools,
> I'll probably do some woodwork.
>
>
[email protected] (T.) wrote in
news:[email protected]:
> Welcome To Phoenix!
>
[snip]
>
> 8. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs,
> barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other cars,
> truck tires, squirrels, rabbits, and crows or vultures feeding on any
> of these items.
>
You left out "ladder on the freeway". KOOL-FM's afternoon traffic report
seems to feature one of these about every other day.
You also forgot suicidal pigeons. I have had 2 fly straight into my
windshield in the last six months.
--
Jerry Maple
General Dynamics Decision Systems
Thu, Oct 16, 2003, 4:27pm (EDT-3) [email protected]
(Jerry=A0Maple) says:
General Dynamics Decision Systems
ROTFLMAO I love that. Impressive as all Hell, and doesn't tell
me a damn thing.
JOAT
I'd be happy to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Life just ain't life without good music. - JOAT
Web Page Update 13 Oct 2003.
Some tunes I like.
http://community-2.webtv.net/Jakofalltrades/SOMETUNESILIKE/
[email protected] (T.) wrote in news:1045-3F900598-3@storefull-
2137.public.lawson.webtv.net:
> Thu, Oct 16, 2003, 4:27pm (EDT-3) [email protected]
> (Jerry Maple) says:
>
> General Dynamics Decision Systems
>
> ROTFLMAO I love that. Impressive as all Hell, and doesn't tell
> me a damn thing.
>
Imagine our confusion!
It's hard enough to explain to people what I do at work, let alone what
that name means.
--
Jerry Maple
General Dynamics Decision Systems
Scottsdale, AZ
Chandler Hardwoods is South of the Chandler Airport on Adams, off of Queen Creek
Blvd. Adams is a dead end, you think your heading into a farm house, and you
are. There is a huge barn that says wood. They have some of the nicest woods in
town. Domestic and exotic hardwoods are available at great prices. In fact he
supplies a lot of the wood stores in the valley. Good prices on sheet goods too
example. qtrsawn white oak 1/2 ply nice rays $30.00 a sheet.
Just a customer
JD
Check out my cherry armoire project in rec.woodworkingPictures
In article <[email protected]>, Todd L says...
>
>Dennis, where is Chandler Hardwoods? Can't find a location for it.
>Thanks,
>
>Todd L
>
>"Dennis M. O'Connor" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>news:[email protected]...
>> > "T." <[email protected]> wrote ...
>> > Welcome To Phoenix!
>>
>> Been here 12 years, but only discovered two years ago
>> that I live 2 miles south of Chandler Hardwoods.
>> That's a whole decade I wasted buying overpriced hardwood.
>>
>> > 6. You must know that "Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway, I-10"
>> > are the same road.
>>
>> But new people won't have a clue about the "Squaw Peak Parkway".
>>
>> This message was posted and cc'd.
>> --
>> Dennis M. O'Connor [email protected]
>> When I'm done building shop fixtures and buying tools,
>> I'll probably do some woodwork.
>>
>>
>
>
Good one.
I used to live there and most of these are pretty
much on target. #14 needs a slight update:
If it's only 70 degrees at 5am, . . .
And they left out the worst traffic hazard of all -
the snowbirds!
Art
"T." <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
Welcome To Phoenix!
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is: "fe - niks."
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own
version of traffic rules...the cars/truck
with the loudest muffler goes next at a 4-way stop. The truck with the
biggest tires goes after that. (Note: Blue haired ladies driving
anything have right of way anytime.)
3. To find anything in Phoenix it is required that you know where
Central and Washington is... which is the Alpha and Omega. The Beginning
and the End.
4. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour is
from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out and possibly shot.
6. You must know that "Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway, I-10" are the
same road.
7. Construction is a permanent fixture in Phoenix. The barrels are
moved around in the middle of the night to make the next days driving a
bit more exciting.
8. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs,
barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other cars,
truck tires, squirrels, rabbits, and crows or vultures feeding on any of
these items.
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated".
10. The minimum acceptable speed on "all freeways, I-10, I-17 & U.S.60
(see above) is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. This
is Arizona's version of NASCAR.
11. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. (it maybe a hazard to your
health)
12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 55-65 zone ...
you are considered a road hazard, and will be "flipped off" accordingly.
13. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended for city
driving.
14. If it's 70 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
JOAT
I find the best approach is to take life as it comes.
- Death
Life just ain't life without good music. - JOAT
Web Page Update 13 Oct 2003.
Some tunes I like.
http://community-2.webtv.net/Jakofalltrades/SOMETUNESILIKE/
Dennis M. O'Connor wrote:
>>"T." <[email protected]> wrote ...
>>Welcome To Phoenix!
>
>
> Been here 12 years, but only discovered two years ago
> that I live 2 miles south of Chandler Hardwoods.
> That's a whole decade I wasted buying overpriced hardwood.
>
>
>>6. You must know that "Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway, I-10"
>>are the same road.
>
>
> But new people won't have a clue about the "Squaw Peak Parkway".
>
> This message was posted and cc'd.
I've lived in the East Valley most of the last 15 years, and this is the
first I've heard of Chandler Hardwoods.
Where are they?
Tim
T. wrote:
> Welcome To Phoenix!
>
> 1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is: "fe - niks."
>
> 2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own
> version of traffic rules...the cars/truck
> with the loudest muffler goes next at a 4-way stop. The truck with the
> biggest tires goes after that. (Note: Blue haired ladies driving
> anything have right of way anytime.)
>
X. If the temperature is over 100, the right of way goes to the car
with their windows down.