OT. Deep doo-doo

charlie b wrote:

SNIP

>
> There is no correct answer to "Do these pants make
> my butt look big?"
SNIP

But the wrong answer is, "It's not the pants that make you look fat,
it's the Krispy Kremes and the Hagen Daze that make you look fat.

;-)
Glen

I assume this is your first wife.....

Robatoy wrote:
> SWMBO comes home with a 'glider-style' exercise machine.
> It is in the back of the van and she asks me to help her drag it into
> the house.
> The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it.
> It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over
and
> ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator
door?"
>
> 0=BF0
>
> Rob---> who sometimes speaks before he thinks.

After being married I began to gain some weight. One day while
watching TV SWMBO remarked on that, saying, "Your belly is
getting to be as big as my ass."

I rolled my eyes and exclaimed. "Oh my God, it's THAT big?"

I'm divorced now.

--=20

FF

In article <[email protected]>,
LL <[email protected]> wrote:
>On Wed, 02 Mar 2005 11:20:25 GMT, Glen <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>A few years back SWMBO and I were watching TV and Sophia Loren appeared.
>> SWMBO remarked, "I wish I could look like that when I'm in my 60's.
>>Without thinking I answered, "I wish you looked like that now."
>>
>>What a blunder!!!
>>
>>Glen
>
>OMG! You didn't! I'd be in the doghouse for weeks if I said that.
>Obviously she let you live, but how long did you have to sleep on the
>couch?

Rumor mill has it that it was more than a *month* before she let him back
_into_ the house as far as the couch.

On Wed, 02 Mar 2005 13:05:54 GMT, B a r r y
<[email protected]> wrote:

>Unisaw A100 wrote:
>> Robatoy wrote:
>>
>>>"Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?"
>>
>>
>>
>> Or you could have said, "Do you want me to take this
>> straight up to the attic/basement (place where unused things
>> are stored at your house)?
>
>
>Which also brings up the following question:
>
>"How many items of clothing can it hold?"
>
>Barry

This is very true. A friend of mine bought one of those excercise
stations for weight lifting. He and his SWMBO were going to get
themselves in shape. Some weeks later I saw the machine again, only
this time it's covered with laundry. And not just a few shirts, it
looked like the whole wardrobe.

Glen wrote:

> A few years back SWMBO and I were watching TV and Sophia Loren appeared.
> SWMBO remarked, "I wish I could look like that when I'm in my 60's.
> Without thinking I answered, "I wish you looked like that now."

Ouuuuuuuuuuuuch.

--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/

"Rob Walters" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "Glen" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:%[email protected]...
> > charlie b wrote:
> >
> > SNIP
> >
> > >
> > > There is no correct answer to "Do these pants make
> > > my butt look big?"
> > SNIP
> >
> > But the wrong answer is, "It's not the pants that make you look fat,
> > it's the Krispy Kremes and the Hagen Daze that make you look fat.
> >
> > ;-)
> > Glen
>
> Nor is the correct response "The pants don't make you ass look big, your
ass
> makes your ass look big."
>


NO NO NO
The pants don't make your ass look big, it's your HUGE ass that make those
pants look SMALL :-)

William....


> DAMHIKT...
>
> Rob
>
>

On Tue, 01 Mar 2005 22:49:06 -0500, Silvan <[email protected]> wrote:
> Robatoy wrote:
>
>> The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it.
>> It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and
>> ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?"
>
>> Rob---> who sometimes speaks before he thinks.
>
> Urf. You didn't. Dumbass. You were only supposed to *think* that, not say
> it out loud. :)

As in "Wups, was that out loud?"

On Tue, 01 Mar 2005 23:22:37 -0800, charlie b <[email protected]> wrote:
> Robatoy wrote:
>>
>> SWMBO comes home with a 'glider-style' exercise machine.
>> It is in the back of the van and she asks me to help her drag it into
>> the house.
>> The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it.
>> It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and
>> ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?"
>>
>> 0¿0
>>
>> Rob---> who sometimes speaks before he thinks.
>
>
> ALWAYS engage brain BEFORE operating mouth.
>
> There is no correct answer to "Do these pants make
> my butt look big?"

So, "No, but your butt makes those pants look big" would be a bad
answer there? Just checking.

> any one occassion. This will postpone the inevitable
> jump up to jewelry. Jewelers know that you know
> flowers aren't going to work anymore and that
> they've got you by the short curlies. If you look
> carefully over the inside door frame you will see
> "Give up all hope, ye who pass through this portal".
> It's there - look for it.

Is that next to the sign that says "Diamonds...she'll pretty much
have to..."?

> ps "Well, you don't sweat much for a fat broad." IS NOT,
> repeat IS NOT going to be taken as a compliment
> even if you sincerely meant it as a compliment.
> At least that's what one of my former co-workers
> told me.

Next someone is going to tell me that, when asked for a professional
referance, it's not acceptable to say "Well, for someone who smells as
bad as he does, he didn't steal as much as we thought he would"?

Robatoy wrote:
>
> SWMBO comes home with a 'glider-style' exercise machine.
> It is in the back of the van and she asks me to help her drag it into
> the house.
> The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it.
> It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and
> ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?"
>
> 0¿0
>
> Rob---> who sometimes speaks before he thinks.


ALWAYS engage brain BEFORE operating mouth.

There is no correct answer to "Do these pants make
my butt look big?" so find a florist and see if you
can get some kind of quantity discount or a discount
card like Barnes and Noble have. Try and vary
the number, color and types of flowers you get for
any one occassion. This will postpone the inevitable
jump up to jewelry. Jewelers know that you know
flowers aren't going to work anymore and that
they've got you by the short curlies. If you look
carefully over the inside door frame you will see
"Give up all hope, ye who pass through this portal".
It's there - look for it.

charlie b
( a former spouse AND a jeweler on the side)

ps "Well, you don't sweat much for a fat broad." IS NOT,
repeat IS NOT going to be taken as a compliment
even if you sincerely meant it as a compliment.
At least that's what one of my former co-workers
told me.

On Tue, 01 Mar 2005 23:22:37 -0800, charlie b <[email protected]>
wrote:


>
>There is no correct answer to "Do these pants make
>my butt look big?"

"Not so long as shoving fifty pounds of ass into a ten pound bag is
the look you're going for."



Thomas J. Watson - WoodDorker

tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email)
http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1 (webpage)

On Wed, 02 Mar 2005 14:31:50 GMT, [email protected] (Doug Miller)
wrote:

>In article <[email protected]>, Robatoy <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>The line: "You can't cut me off, because you don't know where I'm
>>getting it." may not be the best idea at this point.
>
>Two words: Lorena Bobbitt.

If you saw the news article from Alaska last week, that sort of thing
is becoming epidemic.

Men, you might think about sleeping in a separate locked room from now
on.

"Robatoy" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
>
> SWMBO comes home with a 'glider-style' exercise machine.

How was the couch last nite?

Robatoy wrote:
> "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?"


Or you could have said, "Do you want me to take this
straight up to the attic/basement (place where unused things
are stored at your house)?

UA100

"Glen" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:%[email protected]...
> charlie b wrote:
>
> SNIP
>
> >
> > There is no correct answer to "Do these pants make
> > my butt look big?"
> SNIP
>
> But the wrong answer is, "It's not the pants that make you look fat,
> it's the Krispy Kremes and the Hagen Daze that make you look fat.
>
> ;-)
> Glen

Nor is the correct response "The pants don't make you ass look big, your ass
makes your ass look big."

DAMHIKT...

Rob

"Glen" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Robatoy wrote:
> > SWMBO comes home with a 'glider-style' exercise machine.
> > It is in the back of the van and she asks me to help her drag it into
> > the house.
> > The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it.
> > It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and
> > ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?"
> >
> > 0¿0
> >
> > Rob---> who sometimes speaks before he thinks.
>
> A few years back SWMBO and I were watching TV and Sophia Loren appeared.
> SWMBO remarked, "I wish I could look like that when I'm in my 60's.
> Without thinking I answered, "I wish you looked like that now."
>
> What a blunder!!!
>
> Glen

How long did you sleep alone for that one?

V

That merits the biggest, loudest, hardest slap on the forehead and D'OH, I
have heard in a loooonngggg time.

SteveP.

Who is very glad to not be Robatoy for the next 3 weeks

"Silvan" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Robatoy wrote:
>
>> The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it.
>> It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and
>> ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?"
>
>> Rob---> who sometimes speaks before he thinks.
>
> Urf. You didn't. Dumbass. You were only supposed to *think* that, not
> say
> it out loud. :)
>
> --
> Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
> Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
> http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
> http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/

Unisaw A100 wrote:
> Robatoy wrote:
>
>>"Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?"
>
>
>
> Or you could have said, "Do you want me to take this
> straight up to the attic/basement (place where unused things
> are stored at your house)?


Which also brings up the following question:

"How many items of clothing can it hold?"

Barry

Robatoy wrote:
> SWMBO comes home with a 'glider-style' exercise machine.
> It is in the back of the van and she asks me to help her drag it into
> the house.
> The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it.
> It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and
> ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?"
>
> 0¿0
>
> Rob---> who sometimes speaks before he thinks.

A few years back SWMBO and I were watching TV and Sophia Loren appeared.
SWMBO remarked, "I wish I could look like that when I'm in my 60's.
Without thinking I answered, "I wish you looked like that now."

What a blunder!!!

Glen

On Thu, 03 Mar 2005 06:23:59 GMT, "William"
<wac@_nospam_gene-o-tech.com> wrote:

>
>
>NO NO NO
>The pants don't make your ass look big, it's your HUGE ass that make those
>pants look SMALL :-)
>
>William....
>

You're not married or in a long term relationship are you..........

Get to know Rosie Palm and her five sisters. You're going to need
her.

LL wrote:

> This is very true. A friend of mine bought one of those excercise
> stations for weight lifting. He and his SWMBO were going to get
> themselves in shape. Some weeks later I saw the machine again, only
> this time it's covered with laundry. And not just a few shirts, it
> looked like the whole wardrobe.

Yup, very very true. Mom has one of those big multi-station all-in-one
weight things. It's a coat rack, a hat rack, and a drying rack all in one.
By the time you get done moving everything off of it to exercise, you've
already gotten enough exercise, so it seems kind of pointless.

--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/

Unisaw A100 wrote:

>Robatoy wrote:
>
>
>>"Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?"
>>
>>
>
>
>Or you could have said, "Do you want me to take this
>straight up to the attic/basement (place where unused things
>are stored at your house)?
>
>UA100
>
>

SWMBO's recent visit to the doctor. "......and have you been
exercising??" "Well, I have a treadmill." "Owning one doesn't count!"

In article <[email protected]>,
B a r r y <[email protected]> wrote:

> Robatoy wrote:
> >
> > It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and
> > ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?"
>
>
> Somebodys gettin' 'nuttin for a looong time!
>
> Barry

Let's put it this way.... when I put my arm around her last night... the
furnace kicked in...brrrrrrrrr
It wasn't that cold OUTside...


0¿0

Rob---->who has weathered storms before. Last biggie was when I offered
my opinion on women's equality (when some of her friends were over).
I said something like: "of course I believe in equality, women should be
able to pull themselves up to our level, but not drag us down to theirs."
I actually saw a couple of them morph from their usually feminine selves
to corduroy-wearing, brush-cut, truckerwallet-carrying,
comfortable-shoe-wearing, snarling, raging dogs.
I then tried to sell the whole thing as a joke...... with minimal
success.
Oh well...

The line: "You can't cut me off, because you don't know where I'm
getting it." may not be the best idea at this point.

Robatoy wrote:

> The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it.
> It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and
> ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?"

> Rob---> who sometimes speaks before he thinks.

Urf. You didn't. Dumbass. You were only supposed to *think* that, not say
it out loud. :)

--
Michael McIntyre ---- Silvan <[email protected]>
Linux fanatic, and certified Geek; registered Linux user #243621
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Rue/5407/
http://rosegarden.sourceforge.net/tutorial/

On Wed, 02 Mar 2005 11:20:25 GMT, Glen <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>A few years back SWMBO and I were watching TV and Sophia Loren appeared.
> SWMBO remarked, "I wish I could look like that when I'm in my 60's.
>Without thinking I answered, "I wish you looked like that now."
>
>What a blunder!!!
>
>Glen

OMG! You didn't! I'd be in the doghouse for weeks if I said that.
Obviously she let you live, but how long did you have to sleep on the
couch?

CLIP

> The machine is all boxed 'flat' and it becomes my job to assemble it.
> It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and
> ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?"

I've been playing with the idea of an exercise bike that powers the TV....
--


Regards,
Joe Agro, Jr.
http://www.autodrill.com
http://www.multi-drill.com

V8013

Know someone with a motorcycle in the NY Metro area?
http://host.mynocdns.com/mailman/listinfo/enjoyliferides_yunx.com

In article <[email protected]>, Robatoy <[email protected]> wrote:

>The line: "You can't cut me off, because you don't know where I'm
>getting it." may not be the best idea at this point.

Two words: Lorena Bobbitt.

--
Regards,
Doug Miller (alphageek at milmac dot com)

Nobody ever left footprints in the sands of time by sitting on his butt.
And who wants to leave buttprints in the sands of time?

On Tue, 01 Mar 2005 23:22:37 -0800, charlie b <[email protected]>
wrote:

>There is no correct answer to "Do these pants make
>my butt look big?" so find a florist and see if you
>can get some kind of quantity discount or a discount
>card like Barnes and Noble have. Try and vary
>the number, color and types of flowers you get for
>any one occassion. This will postpone the inevitable
>jump up to jewelry. Jewelers know that you know
>flowers aren't going to work anymore and that
>they've got you by the short curlies. If you look
>carefully over the inside door frame you will see
>"Give up all hope, ye who pass through this portal".
>It's there - look for it.

Some of the GEICO snippet commercials are pretty good. The most
hilarious one yet starts with a guy engrossed in the newspaper over
breakfast. His wife comes out of the bedroom straightening her dress
and asks, "does this dress make me look fat?"

Guy, concentrating on his paper, says, "you betcha."

Wife, gives THE LOOK, and turns sharply back into the bedroom as the
guy sort of comes to the realization that he should have paid more
attention while the announcer in voiceover says, "in less time than it
takes to get out the sleeper sofa..."

- -
LRod

Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite

Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999

http://www.woodbutcher.net

Robatoy wrote:
>
> It is a pretty simple job and when it is completed I call her over and
> ask her: "Do you want me to put it in front of the refrigerator door?"


Somebodys gettin' 'nuttin for a looong time!

Barry