Newfoundland declares war on the U.S.A.
**********
President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, President Obama " a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie,
up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? I
am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"
"Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news ! How big is
your army ?"
"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation, "there is meself, me
cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour Mick, and the whole dart team from the
pub. That makes eight!"
Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my
army waiting to move on my command."
"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have to call ya back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is
still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.
"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."
President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks
and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one
and a half million since we last spoke."
"Lord above!", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. " President Obama, the war is
still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified
Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four
boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"
Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you
Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jumpins!" said Archie, "l'll have to call youse back."
Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry
to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat
over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two
million prisoners."
CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN
Canadian and Proud of it !!
On Jan 20, 12:27=A0pm, "Josepi" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Good one!!!
>
> <[email protected]> wrote in message
>
> news:[email protected]...
> Those brave lads on the rock. =A0C'mon my fellow Canadians!! =A0 Just
> another 1/2 hour should do it.
>
> P
I'm a sober Newfoundlander at the moment
On Wed, 19 Jan 2011 19:22:40 -0500, "Upscale" <[email protected]>
wrote:
>Newfoundland declares war on the U.S.A.
>
>**********
>
>President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
>
>"Hallo, President Obama " a heavily accented voice said. "This is Archie,
>up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? I
>am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"
>"Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news ! How big is
>your army ?"
>"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation, "there is meself, me
>cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour Mick, and the whole dart team from the
>pub. That makes eight!"
>Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my
>army waiting to move on my command."
>"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have to call ya back!"
>
>Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is
>still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
>"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.
>"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."
>President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks
>and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one
>and a half million since we last spoke."
>"Lord above!", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
>
>Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. " President Obama, the war is
>still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified
>Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four
>boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"
>Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you
>Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
>complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
>since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
>"Jumpins!" said Archie, "l'll have to call youse back."
>
>Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry
>to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
>"I'm sorry to hear that," said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
>Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat
>over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two
>million prisoners."
>
>CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN
>
>Canadian and Proud of it !!
>
>
Those brave lads on the rock. C'mon my fellow Canadians!! Just
another 1/2 hour should do it.
P
--- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: [email protected] ---
On Jan 19, 6:09=A0pm, "Lew Hodgett" <[email protected]> wrote:
> "FrozenNorth" wrote:
> > It is my goal in life to find a sober Newfie.
>
> -------------------------
> About the same degree of difficulty as finding a sober Irishman.
Half of the Newfs are descended from the Irish, the others from
Western England. When I hear an Irishman speak, it sounds exactly like
someone from the the Avalon Peninsula.
Luigi
Good one!!!
<[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
Those brave lads on the rock. C'mon my fellow Canadians!! Just
another 1/2 hour should do it.
P
On Jan 19, 7:59=A0pm, FrozenNorth <[email protected]>
wrote:
> On 1/19/11 7:57 PM, Robatoy wrote:
>
>
>
> > Very good!!! I have met enough Newfies that I heard a Newfie's voice
> > when I read this... Hilarious!!
>
> Were any of them sober?
> --
> Froz...
>
> The system will be down for 10 days for preventive maintenance.
You're kidding, right? <G>
On Jan 19, 7:22=A0pm, "Upscale" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Newfoundland =A0declares war on the U.S.A.
>
> **********
>
> President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
>
> "Hallo, President Obama " a heavily accented voice said. =A0"This is Arch=
ie,
> up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada, eh? =
I
> am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ya!"
> "Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news ! How big i=
s
> your army ?"
> "Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation, "there is meself, =
me
> cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour Mick, and the whole dart team from =
the
> pub. =A0That makes eight!"
> Barack paused. =A0"I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in =
my
> army waiting to move on my command."
> "Wow," said Archie. "I'll have to call ya back!"
>
> Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. =A0"Mr. Obama, the war is
> still on! =A0We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
> "And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.
> "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."
> President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks
> and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to on=
e
> and a half million since we last spoke."
> "Lord above!", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."
>
> Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. " President Obama, the war i=
s
> still on! =A0We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modifie=
d
> Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four
> boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"
> Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you
> Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
> complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
> since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
> "Jumpins!" said Archie, "l'll have to call youse back."
>
> Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Obama! =A0I am =
sorry
> to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
> "I'm sorry to hear that," said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
> Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long cha=
t
> over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed =
two
> million prisoners."
>
> CANADIAN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN
>
> Canadian and Proud of it !!
Very good!!! I have met enough Newfies that I heard a Newfie's voice
when I read this... Hilarious!!
On Jan 20, 6:25=A0pm, Luigi Zanasi <[email protected]> wrote:
> On Jan 19, 6:09=A0pm, "Lew Hodgett" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > "FrozenNorth" wrote:
> > > It is my goal in life to find a sober Newfie.
>
> > -------------------------
> > About the same degree of difficulty as finding a sober Irishman.
>
> Half of the Newfs are descended from the Irish, the others from
> Western England. When I hear an Irishman speak, it sounds exactly like
> someone from the the Avalon Peninsula.
>
> Luigi
oldie but goodie
Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar.
After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but
think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland."
The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!"
The first guy says, "So am I! And where abouts from Ireland might you
be?"
The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin, I am."
The first guy responds, "Sure and begora, and so am I! And what street
did you live on in Dublin?"
The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary
Street in the old central part of town."
The first guy says, "Faith & it's a small world, so did I! And to what
school would you have been going?"
The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's of course."
The first guy gets really excited, and says, "And so did I. Tell me,
what year did you graduate?"
The other guy answers, "Well, now, I graduated in 1964."
The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I
can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar
tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my
own self."
About this time, another guy walks into the bar, sits down, and orders
a beer.
The bartender walks over shaking his head & mutters, "It's going to be
a long night tonight, the Murphy twins are drunk again."
On 1/19/11 8:11 PM, Robatoy wrote:
> On Jan 19, 7:59 pm, FrozenNorth<[email protected]>
> wrote:
>> On 1/19/11 7:57 PM, Robatoy wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>>> Very good!!! I have met enough Newfies that I heard a Newfie's voice
>>> when I read this... Hilarious!!
>>
>> Were any of them sober?
>
> You're kidding, right?<G>
It is my goal in life to find a sober Newfie.
:-)
--
Froz...
The system will be down for 10 days for preventive maintenance.
Lew Hodgett <[email protected]> wrote:
> About the same degree of difficulty as finding a sober Irishman.
One of my daughters favorite jokes is a simple one liner:
"three Irishmen walk out of a bar..."
--
Frank Stutzman