Why men die first is a question that has foxed the medical profession
for years. Hugely expensive studies have failed to provide the answer;
but fifty bucks in the pub did the trick.
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the harsh
world, you're a male chauvinist;
if you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
If you work too hard, there's never any time for her;
if you don't work hard enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, she is being
exploited;
if you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should
get off your arse and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's 'jobs for the boys';
if she is promoted out of turn,it's equal opportunity.
If you tell her how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment;
if you say nothing it's cruel indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp;
if you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you've treated her as if
she doesn't exist;
if she makes a decision without consulting you, she's an independent
liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination;
if she asks you, it's a perfectly reasonable request.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert;
if you don't, you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist;
if you don't, you couldn't care less about her.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain;
if you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something;
if you don't, you're thoughtless and unromantic.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself;
if you aren't you're a loser.
If she has a headache, she's tired;
if you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
It seems that men die first because they want to.
It's easier that way.
Just thought this might provide a chuckle
John