Color me DUMB!

In article <[email protected]>, Upscale
<[email protected]> wrote:

> Haven't we all done something DOH! once in awhile. Mine was six months ago
> when unbeknownst to me, my cordless drill slipped into reverse. Spent over
> two hours trying to figure out why none of my new drills bits wouldn't drill
> for shit.

Bought a new chainsaw a little over a year ago, display unit, fully
assembled. Jonsered, nice little 16" saw.

Took me about half an hour of trying to cut through 2/" branches with
little success before I thought to check whether the chain was on
backwards or not in the store.

Guess what?

djb

--
"Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive,
difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of
mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it. "
-- Gene Spafford, 1992

Ken wrote:
> We all err on occasion, the ones that bother me are the ones I make
> over and over again. A cartoon, by Steve Spiro, I saw today reminded me
> of one that haunts me again and again. You know the thing on the end of
> a tape measure that nobody trusts so we measure starting at the one
> ince mark, and then somehow wind up with a piece that is one inch too
> short rather than off by 1/64th. I repeat this one regularly. DOH
> squared!
>
> Ken
>

Rather than starting from the one inch mark start from the ten inch
mark. A mismeasurment is a little more noticeable.

--
Jack Novak
Buffalo, NY - USA
[email protected]
(Remove -SPAM- to send email)

Upscale wrote:
> Haven't we all done something DOH! once in awhile. Mine was six months ago
> when unbeknownst to me, my cordless drill slipped into reverse. Spent over
> two hours trying to figure out why none of my new drills bits wouldn't drill
> for shit.

Oh sure. DOHness is an elemental part of wrecking. I am especially
proud of the time I spent at least an hour lovingly machining and
sanding a decorative figured stretcher for a side table - and then
glued it up backwards AND upside down. I didn't notice it until the
next day at which point I discovered that the glue was indeed stronger
than the wood.

FoggyTown

Pat Barber wrote:
> My personal favorite is ripping large expensive sheets of
> plywood and measuring correctly and marking incorrectly.
> I have done that twice in the same day.
>
>
You just kind of have to accept that you're going to do that once in a
while. Just the other day, I was repeating "seventy eight and seven
eighths...seventy eight and seven eighth...seventy eight and seven
eighths..." in my head and promptly marked 78 3/8 and made the cut.
AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! That's a long piece of hardwood to
scrap! I'm a newbie so I had to learn butt joinery on the spot.

BTW, I'm going to have to learn to be less vocal when I screw up. My
wife came running out of the house assuming that I'd cut off a body
part!

Tom

We all err on occasion, the ones that bother me are the ones I make
over and over again. A cartoon, by Steve Spiro, I saw today reminded me
of one that haunts me again and again. You know the thing on the end of
a tape measure that nobody trusts so we measure starting at the one
ince mark, and then somehow wind up with a piece that is one inch too
short rather than off by 1/64th. I repeat this one regularly. DOH
squared!

Ken

Dave Balderstone wrote:
> In article <[email protected]>, Ken
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > We all err on occasion, the ones that bother me are the ones I make
> > over and over again. A cartoon, by Steve Spiro, I saw today reminded me
> > of one that haunts me again and again. You know the thing on the end of
> > a tape measure that nobody trusts so we measure starting at the one
> > ince mark, and then somehow wind up with a piece that is one inch too
> > short rather than off by 1/64th. I repeat this one regularly. DOH
> > squared!
>
> Now, there's an idea...
>
> A series of rules and tape measures with the zero mark an inch in from
> the end...
>
> Oh, Robin Lee... Paging Mister Rob Lee!
>
> --

Great! Then everything would be cut 1" too long.

FoggyTown

Robatoy wrote:
> In article <[email protected]>,
> "foggytown" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> "Color Me Dumb...
>
> I checked my Crayon box.. I'm all out of Dumb...

You can substitute "Bright Stupid"

FoggyTown

> Haven't we all done something DOH! once in awhile. Mine was six months ago
> when unbeknownst to me, my cordless drill slipped into reverse. Spent over
> two hours trying to figure out why none of my new drills bits wouldn't drill
> for shit.

BTDT, isn't that the most frustrating thing? I usually figure it out
when I go to throw the drill in reverse in order to change the bit, and
have a little 'a ha!' moment.

One of my scarier 'color me dumb' moments was using a brass template
guide on my router for the first time. Pretty, shiny new 4" long, 1/2"
Whiteside spiral upcut bit, and I picked the 5/8" guide... the one with
a 17/32" ID. Hindsight tells me that only leaves 1/64" clearance all
around the bit.

Now, the moment itself is a bit of a blur, but what I think happened is
that the upcut bit, true to its name, lifted a freshly routed and
liberated chip of wood that happened to be more than 1/64" thick. Said
chip of wood (part of a knot in some pine IIRC) was thick enough to
deflect the bit into the template guide, at which time there was an
awful CHUNK sound, my router motor briefly stopped whizzing around and
jerked violently in my hands, bits of wood, brass and carbide hit my
face shield, and my heart stopped. Obviously, none of that is
necessarily in chronological order.

Thankfully, the router, the bit and myself survived (mostly). The bit
has a tiny nick on only one of its helical edges, so it still works
great. The brass template... not so much. You can still sorta tell that
it once had a round opening, but about 1/3 of it looks like it was torn
and peeled back much like a cereal box top. The end grain of the wood I
was routing got a little torn up, and needed nothing more than the
tiniest dab of wood filler to fix. It is now the shorter stile in my
first full-size door, and would make a great conversation piece if I
didn't have to crowd people around it when I tell the story... it is a
bathroom door.

-John

In article <[email protected]>, Ken
<[email protected]> wrote:

> We all err on occasion, the ones that bother me are the ones I make
> over and over again. A cartoon, by Steve Spiro, I saw today reminded me
> of one that haunts me again and again. You know the thing on the end of
> a tape measure that nobody trusts so we measure starting at the one
> ince mark, and then somehow wind up with a piece that is one inch too
> short rather than off by 1/64th. I repeat this one regularly. DOH
> squared!

Now, there's an idea...

A series of rules and tape measures with the zero mark an inch in from
the end...

Oh, Robin Lee... Paging Mister Rob Lee!

--
Go read this. Now.
<http://www.ejectejecteject.com/archives/000129.html>
Once you've read that, go read this:
<http://lonestar-mvpa.org/events/2005/05_Katrina.htm>

On Tue, 13 Sep 2005 08:24:05 -0400, Robatoy <[email protected]> wrote:

>In article <[email protected]>,
> Mark & Juanita <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> On Mon, 12 Sep 2005 19:15:25 -0400, Robatoy <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>> >In article <[email protected]>,
>> > "foggytown" <[email protected]> wrote:
>> >
>> >"Color Me Dumb...
>> >
>> >I checked my Crayon box.. I'm all out of Dumb...
>>
>> Used 'em all up, did you? :-)
>>
>LOL.. you guys are awake. That is exactly why I'm all out.
>(My ex also used it as a make-up pencil)

:-)




+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

If you're gonna be dumb, you better be tough

+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

On 9 Sep 2005 09:38:17 -0700, [email protected] wrote:

>BTW, I'm going to have to learn to be less vocal when I screw up. My
>wife came running out of the house assuming that I'd cut off a body
>part!

You get over the screaming pretty soon. If you make as many mistakes
as I do it makes your throat hurt too much.

--
"We need to make a sacrifice to the gods, find me a young virgin... oh, and bring something to kill"

Tim Douglass

http://www.DouglassClan.com

"Upscale" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...

>
> Reminds me of back in the DOS days. Installed a new cdrom drive and then
> wrote up a DOS batch file so I could play some music cds. Named it cd.bat.
> Spent the next three days trying to figure out why when I typed 'cd'
> <enter>
> my batch file wouldn't work.
>
>

I know a guy who had a pretty smooth database and output designed back in
the DOS days, only to run up against an unanticipated glitch in the payroll
program when it refused to compute and issue compensation to a guy whose
last name was " Blank...."

"Robatoy" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> In article <[email protected]>,
> "foggytown" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> "Color Me Dumb...
>
> I checked my Crayon box.. I'm all out of Dumb...

Binney & Smith quit making some colors a few years ago. Remember "flesh?"
For obvious reasons....

On Mon, 12 Sep 2005 19:15:25 -0400, Robatoy <[email protected]> wrote:

>In article <[email protected]>,
> "foggytown" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>"Color Me Dumb...
>
>I checked my Crayon box.. I'm all out of Dumb...

Used 'em all up, did you? :-)




+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

If you're gonna be dumb, you better be tough

+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

On 13 Sep 2005 05:25:43 -0700, "foggytown" <[email protected]> wrote:

>
>Dave Balderstone wrote:
>> In article <[email protected]>, Ken
>> <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>> > We all err on occasion, the ones that bother me are the ones I make
>> > over and over again. A cartoon, by Steve Spiro, I saw today reminded me
>> > of one that haunts me again and again. You know the thing on the end of
>> > a tape measure that nobody trusts so we measure starting at the one
>> > ince mark, and then somehow wind up with a piece that is one inch too
>> > short rather than off by 1/64th. I repeat this one regularly. DOH
>> > squared!
>>
>> Now, there's an idea...
>>
>> A series of rules and tape measures with the zero mark an inch in from
>> the end...
>>
>> Oh, Robin Lee... Paging Mister Rob Lee!
>>
>> --
>
>Great! Then everything would be cut 1" too long.
>
>FoggyTown


... but, it's a whole lot easier to fix a board that's one inch too long
than one that is one inch too short. (or even 1/4" too short -- DAMHIKT)




+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

If you're gonna be dumb, you better be tough

+--------------------------------------------------------------------------------+

Upscale wrote:
> "jo4hn" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>
>>During the 70s gasoline crunch, I decided to move a couple of gallons
>>from one vehicle to another. I walked into the garage and picked up a
>>cheap electric pump that I had. I walked back outside and held the cord
>>in my hand for a few seconds. I returned to the garage, put the pump
>>back from which it had come, went into the house, poured a beer and
>>rested until my heart quit racing.
>
>
> That reminds me of when I had my '67 T-bird. Middle of winter went out,
> started up the car, turned the heat on full, went back in the house to wait
> for it to warm up. Woke up on the couch 8 hours later. The car was still
> running with all the snow melted for five feet around it, 3/4's of a tank of
> gas used up. Car never ran properly after that.
>
>
A buddy of mine rebuilt/restored a '62 Corvette. He had finished, it
was a true work of art. It was late on a Sunday afternoon (this was
quite a few years ago) and all the auto places were closed. He wanted
to try out the car, filled the radiator with water (no anti-freeze) and
went for a test drive. Beautiful. He parked the car in his (NY)
driveway and returned to the house. The temp dropped that night badly.
So badly that when he returned to the car the next day he had a
cracked block. DOH!

Glen

"Jois" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "foggytown" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> Bought a cheap drum sanding kit from ebay some months ago. Four drums
>> and lots of sanding tubes to use on my bench drill. Worked OK but some
>> of the tubes just would not fit well on the little drums - some too big
>> others too small. So I've been taping up the too small barrels to stop
>> the tubes slipping. Hey - it only cost a few bucks. Today I need the
>> smallest drum radius and I can't get any of the smallest tubes to slip
>> over. In frustration I thought I'd take the drum off so I see this
>> little nut at the bottom of the drum on the shaft. I turn it
>> counter-clockwise (universal loosen, right?) and what the hell - it
>> doesn't loosen - it tightens up and the drum gets fatter! And the nut
>> is reverse threaded so when I turn it clockwise, it loosens and the
>> drum gets smaller.
>>
>> Nobody ever told me you could make the drums bigger and smaller with
>> this nut thereby making it easier to get the tubes off and on!
>> DOH!
>>
>> FoggyTown
>>
>
> Now somehow I knew about that but since I can't tell left from right I
> never
> get the drums on or off or to stay in place with out a lot of fussing
> around
> just the same. Doh!
>
> Josie


Can't add to this bunch. I never made a mistake>>>>>>> But then again I may
be mistaken about that. (<:)

"Norman D. Crow" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>
> Yep! Friend asked me to fix a back porch light sensor that was coming on
too
> much for too short a time, burning out the bulb. Took it down and working
@
> odd moments in the basement, spent some time on it, was about to get a new
> sensor assy. when it wouldn't work. Then . . . DOH! You jacka**! It won't
> work with the lights on, it's designed to work in the DARK!

Reminds me of back in the DOS days. Installed a new cdrom drive and then
wrote up a DOS batch file so I could play some music cds. Named it cd.bat.
Spent the next three days trying to figure out why when I typed 'cd' <enter>
my batch file wouldn't work.

"foggytown" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Bought a cheap drum sanding kit from ebay some months ago. Four drums
> and lots of sanding tubes to use on my bench drill. Worked OK but some
> of the tubes just would not fit well on the little drums - some too big
> others too small. So I've been taping up the too small barrels to stop
> the tubes slipping. Hey - it only cost a few bucks. Today I need the
> smallest drum radius and I can't get any of the smallest tubes to slip
> over. In frustration I thought I'd take the drum off so I see this
> little nut at the bottom of the drum on the shaft. I turn it
> counter-clockwise (universal loosen, right?) and what the hell - it
> doesn't loosen - it tightens up and the drum gets fatter! And the nut
> is reverse threaded so when I turn it clockwise, it loosens and the
> drum gets smaller.
>
> Nobody ever told me you could make the drums bigger and smaller with
> this nut thereby making it easier to get the tubes off and on!
> DOH!
>
> FoggyTown
>

Now somehow I knew about that but since I can't tell left from right I never
get the drums on or off or to stay in place with out a lot of fussing around
just the same. Doh!

Josie

"Robatoy" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:design-
> see.. I have absolutely no right to laugh at your misfortune, funny as
> it is.....

Haven't we all done something DOH! once in awhile. Mine was six months ago
when unbeknownst to me, my cordless drill slipped into reverse. Spent over
two hours trying to figure out why none of my new drills bits wouldn't drill
for shit.

foggytown wrote:
> Dave Balderstone wrote:
>
>>In article <[email protected]>, Ken
>><[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>
>>>We all err on occasion, the ones that bother me are the ones I make
>>>over and over again. A cartoon, by Steve Spiro, I saw today reminded me
>>>of one that haunts me again and again. You know the thing on the end of
>>>a tape measure that nobody trusts so we measure starting at the one
>>>ince mark, and then somehow wind up with a piece that is one inch too
>>>short rather than off by 1/64th. I repeat this one regularly. DOH
>>>squared!
>>
>>Now, there's an idea...
>>
>>A series of rules and tape measures with the zero mark an inch in from
>>the end...
>>
>>Oh, Robin Lee... Paging Mister Rob Lee!
>>
>>--
>
>
> Great! Then everything would be cut 1" too long.
>
> FoggyTown
>
In OZ, we have the "Hundred Mil Trick".
Measuring from the 100mm mark on the tape and...............
you guessed it. :)

Regards
John

During the 70s gasoline crunch, I decided to move a couple of gallons
from one vehicle to another. I walked into the garage and picked up a
cheap electric pump that I had. I walked back outside and held the cord
in my hand for a few seconds. I returned to the garage, put the pump
back from which it had come, went into the house, poured a beer and
rested until my heart quit racing.
glurp,
jo4hn

My old boss thought it would be a good idea to chuck one up in router
once. Very short experiment.

> "foggytown" <[email protected]> writes:
>
> > Nobody ever told me you could make the drums bigger and smaller with
> > this nut thereby making it easier to get the tubes off and on!
> > DOH!

In article <[email protected]>,
"foggytown" <[email protected]> wrote:

> Nobody ever told me you could make the drums bigger and smaller with
> this nut thereby making it easier to get the tubes off and on!
> DOH!

I'm not going to snicker at your expense as I have encountered similar
thing where I DOH!'ed.
My first sanding drum was a 3 1/2" SandBoss pneumatic. I slipped on the
sleeve and hooked up the air chuck. It clearly said not to exceed 35
psi..'cept I hadn't read that part. I figure it blew at about 80 psi..
nothing really loud.. just expensive. Later I found out they were
repairable by buying a new tube... then I had two 3 1/2" drums... till I
was sanding against the grain on the edge of an oak board driving a nice
sliver into the sleeve and tube... just a hiss that time.... as you can
see.. I have absolutely no right to laugh at your misfortune, funny as
it is.....

In article <[email protected]>,
Mark & Juanita <[email protected]> wrote:

> On Mon, 12 Sep 2005 19:15:25 -0400, Robatoy <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> >In article <[email protected]>,
> > "foggytown" <[email protected]> wrote:
> >
> >"Color Me Dumb...
> >
> >I checked my Crayon box.. I'm all out of Dumb...
>
> Used 'em all up, did you? :-)
>
LOL.. you guys are awake. That is exactly why I'm all out.
(My ex also used it as a make-up pencil)

In article <[email protected]>,
"John Girouard" <[email protected]> wrote:

[snipperectomy]

> 1/2"
> Whiteside spiral upcut bit, and I picked the 5/8" guide... the one with
> a 17/32" ID. Hindsight tells me that only leaves 1/64" clearance all
> around the bit.

My shop runs on 1/2" bits inside 5/8 guides. That's how I shape my slabs
for solid surface fabrication. I always use single-flute bits, better
chip clearing and faster/cooler cutting. They do vibrate a little after
a couple of sharpenings, but we're not making watches.

The one day I grabbed a router body with a spiral 1/2" and dropped into
a base already set up with a 5/8 bushing. Too much in a hurry to change
to the single flute, the acrylic went up into the bushing and seized
inside the bushing and the whole bushing started rotating, smoking, and
ruined the router base-plate.

Like a sign in my office says: "The hurryder I go, the behinder I get."

hangs beside: "You want this tomorrow?? You should have ordered it
tomorrow!"

In article <[email protected]>,
"foggytown" <[email protected]> wrote:

"Color Me Dumb...

I checked my Crayon box.. I'm all out of Dumb...

"foggytown" <[email protected]> writes:

> Nobody ever told me you could make the drums bigger and smaller with
> this nut thereby making it easier to get the tubes off and on!
> DOH!

I always knew about this, but I had the other problem. No matter how
much I made them thinner, I could not get the worn cyliders off. So I
ripped them off, and I was never able to get new ones one. They WERE
cheap. I think I got them from AMT (the Harbor Freight of the 80's... :-)
They worked for the first week, but that was 20 years ago.

--
Sending unsolicited commercial e-mail to this account incurs a fee of
$500 per message, and acknowledges the legality of this contract.

"foggytown" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> Upscale wrote:
>> Haven't we all done something DOH! once in awhile. Mine was six months
>> ago
>> when unbeknownst to me, my cordless drill slipped into reverse. Spent
>> over
>> two hours trying to figure out why none of my new drills bits wouldn't
>> drill
>> for shit.
>
> Oh sure. DOHness is an elemental part of wrecking. I am especially
> proud of the time I spent at least an hour lovingly machining and
> sanding a decorative figured stretcher for a side table - and then
> glued it up backwards AND upside down. I didn't notice it until the
> next day at which point I discovered that the glue was indeed stronger
> than the wood.
>

Yep! Friend asked me to fix a back porch light sensor that was coming on too
much for too short a time, burning out the bulb. Took it down and working @
odd moments in the basement, spent some time on it, was about to get a new
sensor assy. when it wouldn't work. Then . . . DOH! You jacka**! It won't
work with the lights on, it's designed to work in the DARK!

--
Nahmie
The greatest headaches are those we cause ourselves.

On Fri, 09 Sep 2005 04:01:24 GMT, Billy <[email protected]> wrote:

>My old boss thought it would be a good idea to chuck one up in router
>once. Very short experiment.

How many employees had to change their shorts?

Spinning non-router stuff in a router is flat scary!

--
"We need to make a sacrifice to the gods, find me a young virgin... oh, and bring something to kill"

Tim Douglass

http://www.DouglassClan.com

On Thu, 8 Sep 2005 19:03:45 -0400, "Upscale" <[email protected]>
wrote:

>"Robatoy" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:design-
>> see.. I have absolutely no right to laugh at your misfortune, funny as
>> it is.....
>
>Haven't we all done something DOH! once in awhile. Mine was six months ago
>when unbeknownst to me, my cordless drill slipped into reverse. Spent over
>two hours trying to figure out why none of my new drills bits wouldn't drill
>for shit.

I do that so often I don't even count it anymore. My favorite was
installing the chain on my chain saw backwards. At the time I was
cutting and selling firewood, so having it suddenly stop cutting was
rather disconcerting. More so was when I finally figured out the
problem after re-sharpening the chain - *twice*!

--
"We need to make a sacrifice to the gods, find me a young virgin... oh, and bring something to kill"

Tim Douglass

http://www.DouglassClan.com

"jo4hn" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> During the 70s gasoline crunch, I decided to move a couple of gallons
> from one vehicle to another. I walked into the garage and picked up a
> cheap electric pump that I had. I walked back outside and held the cord
> in my hand for a few seconds. I returned to the garage, put the pump
> back from which it had come, went into the house, poured a beer and
> rested until my heart quit racing.

That reminds me of when I had my '67 T-bird. Middle of winter went out,
started up the car, turned the heat on full, went back in the house to wait
for it to warm up. Woke up on the couch 8 hours later. The car was still
running with all the snow melted for five feet around it, 3/4's of a tank of
gas used up. Car never ran properly after that.

My personal favorite is ripping large expensive sheets of
plywood and measuring correctly and marking incorrectly.
I have done that twice in the same day.



foggytown wrote:


> Oh sure. DOHness is an elemental part of wrecking. I am especially
> proud of the time I spent at least an hour lovingly machining and
> sanding a decorative figured stretcher for a side table - and then
> glued it up backwards AND upside down. I didn't notice it until the
> next day at which point I discovered that the glue was indeed stronger
> than the wood.