(On hearing that Norm is retiring)
The Maven
Once upon a midnight beery, while I pondered drunk and bleary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of old wreck dot normie lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my shop's front door.
`'Tis some chucklehead,' I muttered, `tapping at my shop's front door
-
Only this, and nothing more.'
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Le Norm
For the rare and plaidened woodsmith whom the angels named Le Norm -
Normless here for evermore.
And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some chucklehead entreating entrance at my shop's front door -
Some damned chucklehead entreating entrance at my shop's front door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was drinking, and so gently you came slinking,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my shop's front door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there swaying, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Le Norm!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Le Norm!'
Merely this and nothing more.
Back into the shop I'm turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Maven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my shop's front door -
Perched upon a bust of Krenov just above my shop's front door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.
Then this WoodDorker beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy wrist be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no
craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient Maven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the Maven, `Nevermore.'
Much I marvelled this ungainly Wreck to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing Caballistas on his shop's front door
-
Caballistas above the sculptured bust above his shop's front door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'
But the Maven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow will he leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the dude said, `Nevermore.'
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy bastige whom unmerciful disastridge
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'
But the Maven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of Maven bust and door;
Then, upon the sawdust sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous dude of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, gaunt, and ominous dude of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the dude whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's sawdusted lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose sawdusted lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
He shall press, ah, nevermore!
Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by angels whose faint foot-falls tinkled on the dusted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has
sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Le Norm!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Le Norm!'
Quoth the Maven, `Nevermore.'
`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if dude or devil!
-
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the Maven, `Nevermore.'
`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if dude or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a man unshaven whom the angels named Le Norm -
Clasp a carpenter unshaven, whom the angels named Le Norm?'
Quoth the Maven, `Nevermore.'
`Be that word our sign of parting, dude or fiend!' I shrieked
upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Morashian shore!
Leave no shavings as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy blade from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the Maven, `Nevermore.'
And the Maven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Krenov just above my shop's front door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!
(Watson - who don't know what a maven is
but o'deen keeps talking
about them
and it set me to thinking
) (oh yeah - apologies to eap.)
Regards,
Tom.
Thomas J.Watson - Cabinetmaker (ret.)
tjwatson1ATcomcastDOTnet (real email)
http://home.comcast.net/~tjwatson1
Patrick Olguin wrote:
> As in woodworking, we musicians enjoy the work of the real masters.
> Many inspire, some shock, some aren't all that impressive and we
> wonder how the hell they hold the job they do.
Please comment on two people I've heard in concert:
- Doc Severensen (sp???)
- Phil Driscoll
Thanks.
-- Mark
In article <[email protected]>,
[email protected] says...
> (On hearing that Norm is retiring)
>
> The Maven
>
> Once upon a midnight beery, while I pondered drunk and bleary,
> Over many a quaint and curious volume of old wreck dot normie lore
>
You have ENTIRELY too much free time :-).
Nice parody, BTW.
--
Where ARE those Iraqi WMDs?
There was a time when most people wrote with
eloquence. There was a time when people
referenced myths and legends in their letters
written with pen and ink. There was a time when
wordsmiths were not so rare
Thankfully, we have Tom to remind us of what
we are so often missing in this day of two word
slogans and 10 second sound bites. Readers
Digest was the the vanguard and now we have
FOX "news" - "Fair AND Balanced!".
Thank you Tom.
charlie b
(and I'm still trying to find the poem about
Lord Nelson with the line
Hang my drum on the old sea wall)
On Mon, 28 Jun 2004 19:29:11 -0700, charlie b <[email protected]>
wrote:
>There was a time when most people wrote with
>eloquence. There was a time when people
>referenced myths and legends in their letters
>written with pen and ink. There was a time when
>wordsmiths were not so rare
>
>Thankfully, we have Tom to remind us of what
>we are so often missing in this day of two word
>slogans and 10 second sound bites. Readers
>Digest was the the vanguard and now we have
>FOX "news" - "Fair AND Balanced!".
... or to be perfectly fair, CNN and CNN headline news that don't even
make any pretense of providing balance.
BTW, Tom, very good piece, another masterpiece. You really do have a
talent for writing.
Tom Watson <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
> (On hearing that Norm is retiring)
>
>
> The Maven
[poetry unfit for this keyboard driver to repost]
Tom Watson is the Allen Vizzutti of rec.norm.
Allow me to explain. My other calling (a calling in which I possess a
great deal more talent, judgement and knowledge) is music. I've been
a semi-professional trumpet player for 20-some-odd years. I won't
drop names, stages or dates, but it reads impressively if you leave
out the gigs at junior high schools, senior centers, and warehouse
rooftops. There are some who've said I'm one of the best they've ever
heard (poor uncultured souls). I have a good time, and on occasion
sound pretty good.
As in woodworking, we musicians enjoy the work of the real masters.
Many inspire, some shock, some aren't all that impressive and we
wonder how the hell they hold the job they do. And there's Allen
Vizzutti. His playing is impeccable, creative, vibrant, and yet never
boring. His playing is familiar, yet unimaginable.
When I hear that guy play, I want to do one thing and one thing only -
I want to take my trumpet and make it into a lamp, because when it
comes to doing what can be done with a horn, it just ain't gonna
happen, no matter how long I'd practice and sacrifice.
So Tom, thank you for the affirmation that the best use of my
computer, modem and keyboard is to lash it all together and make it
into a boat anchor.
Tom Watson - the Allen Vizzutti of rec.norm.
Humbly submitted,
O'Deen
"Mark Jerde" <[email protected]> wrote
> Please comment on two people I've heard in concert:
No sweat.
> - Doc Severensen (sp???)
After listening to Doc, I probably drove over one of my horns with a
car.
> - Phil Driscoll
Tossed my #1 horn (at the time), very reverently, off of a bridge into
a very deep gorge.
Those guys are two of my favorites.
Humbly submitted,
O'Deen
"Patrick Olguin" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> When I hear that guy play, I want to do one thing and one thing only -
> I want to take my trumpet and make it into a lamp, because when it
> comes to doing what can be done with a horn, it just ain't gonna
> happen, no matter how long I'd practice and sacrifice.
Same feeling comes when I see something like that Cherry Walnut Library you
guys just "whacked out in an afternoon". Or something from Mr. Plamann.
Do what I do - go buy a new clamp or three.
And remember that "Hope springs eternal in the human breast."
"Tom Watson" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> (On hearing that Norm is retiring)
>
>
> The Maven
>
>
> Once upon a midnight beery, while I pondered drunk and bleary,
> Over many a quaint and curious volume of old wreck dot normie lore,
> While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
> As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my shop's front door.
(Snip....)
Tom,
I'm speechless...
And I had to hit dictionary.com more times than I have in a long time.
Very, very well done.
Otto
[email protected] (Patrick Olguin) writes:
>"Mark Jerde" <[email protected]> wrote
>
>> Please comment on two people I've heard in concert:
>
>No sweat.
>
>> - Doc Severensen (sp???)
>
>After listening to Doc, I probably drove over one of my horns with a
>car.
>
>> - Phil Driscoll
>
>Tossed my #1 horn (at the time), very reverently, off of a bridge into
>a very deep gorge.
>
>Those guys are two of my favorites.
>
Don't forget
Roy Hargrove (Saw him a couple of weeks ago at the hollywood bowl)
Miles Davis (Saw him twice - unbelievable)
Maynard Ferguson (Ran a follow spot for one of his shows in the 70's)
Herb Albert (If you like it, you like it)
Wynton Marsalis (when he does straight-ahead jazz, anyway)
all excellent horn players.
scott
>Humbly submitted,
>O'Deen
"Tom Watson" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Once upon a midnight beery, while I pondered drunk and bleary,
Excellent! Well done and I love the opening line.
Frank
[email protected] (Patrick Olguin) wrote in
news:[email protected]:
> "Mark Jerde" <[email protected]> wrote
>
>> Please comment on two people I've heard in concert:
>
> No sweat.
>
>> - Doc Severensen (sp???)
>
> After listening to Doc, I probably drove over one of my horns with a
> car.
>
>> - Phil Driscoll
>
> Tossed my #1 horn (at the time), very reverently, off of a bridge into
> a very deep gorge.
>
> Those guys are two of my favorites.
>
> Humbly submitted,
> O'Deen
>
We went to hear Maynard Ferguson play at a high school some years back,
because our sons were in the music programs (Shame that those are under
such $$$ pressure...) We were literally blown away with the skill and the
volume. And worried that the most talented of the boys had suffered
permanent hearing damage. His ears buzzed for three days.
Today, that son architects computer code for medical systems for a living,
and plays bassoon and trombone in community orchestras for enjoyment. He's
been asked to sit in for some pretty impressive groups in the Bay Area, but
he has to keep the music limited to really part time.
It's too bad we often have to choose between our talents.
Thanks for the thread, Paddy.
Patriarch
"Tom Watson" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> (On hearing that Norm is retiring)
>
>
> The Maven
>
>
> Once upon a midnight beery, while I pondered drunk and bleary,
> Over many a quaint and curious volume of old wreck dot normie lore,
<snip of great stuff>
Another keeper! Well done Tom.
--
Nahmie
The law of intelligent tinkering: save all the parts.
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.699 / Virus Database: 456 - Release Date: 6/4/2004
"Frank Ketchum" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:[email protected]...
>
> "brian lanning" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
> >
> > Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner. At least one person caught
> > it. I weep for the educational system in this country.
> >
>
> Umm, I think most people got it. At least I did and I attended public
> schools even!
>
> Frank
>
>
I'm sure a lot of us got it and just chuckled and moved on...
--
Al Reid
>Tom Watson" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>news:[email protected]...
>> (On hearing that Norm is retiring)
>>
>>
>> The Maven
>>
>>
>> Once upon a midnight beery, while I pondered drunk and bleary,
>> Over many a quaint and curious volume of old wreck dot normie lore,
>
><snip of great stuff>
>
>Another keeper! Well done Tom.
I dunno. I think it was pretty Po'.
John
brian lanning wrote:
> Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner. At least one person caught
> it. I weep for the educational system in this country.
What a person expects from others tells you most about themself.
Dave in Fairfax
--
Dave Leader
reply-to doesn't work
use:
daveldr at att dot net
American Association of Woodturners
http://www.woodturner.org
Capital Area Woodturners
http://www.capwoodturners.org/
"brian lanning" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner. At least one person caught
> it. I weep for the educational system in this country.
>
Umm, I think most people got it. At least I did and I attended public
schools even!
Frank
"brian lanning" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> [email protected] (JPLipe) wrote in message
news:<[email protected]>...
> > I dunno. I think it was pretty Po'.
>
> Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner. At least one person caught
> it. I weep for the educational system in this country.
You think? Tom not only did an excellent job of plagiarizing, then
corrupting, "The Raven", but included a disclaimer in the form of
apologizing to *eap* at the end.
Mr. Lipe made a very good pun, though!
--
Nahmie
The law of intelligent tinkering: save all the parts.
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.712 / Virus Database: 468 - Release Date: 6/27/2004
[email protected] (JPLipe) wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
> I dunno. I think it was pretty Po'.
Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner. At least one person caught
it. I weep for the educational system in this country.
brian
"Frank Ketchum" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
> Umm, I think most people got it. At least I did and I attended public
> schools even!
When I posted, not may had responded yet. I feel better now. :-)
brian
Umm, that should be "Your feet are Longfellow and they smell like the
Dickens.
George
"Joe_Stein" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> You're a poet, but didn't know it. Your feet show it, because their long
> fellows.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> We went to hear Maynard Ferguson play at a high school some years
> back, because our sons were in the music programs (Shame that those
> are under such $$$ pressure...) We were literally blown away with
> the skill and the volume. And worried that the most talented of the
> boys had suffered permanent hearing damage. His ears buzzed for
> three days.
>
> Today, that son architects computer code for medical systems for a
> living, and plays bassoon and trombone in community orchestras for
> enjoyment. He's been asked to sit in for some pretty impressive
> groups in the Bay Area, but he has to keep the music limited to
> really part time.
I know a Juliard graduate who does computers (very well) to support his
music habit. <g>
> It's too bad we often have to choose between our talents.
Yes, but it /is/ nice to have more than one. ;-)
-- Mark
Tom laboriously pecked out
> The Maven
>
>
> Once upon a midnight beery, while I pondered drunk and bleary,
> Over many a quaint and curious volume of old wreck dot normie lore,
> While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
>
Again sir you have outdone yourself. an artist for sure
Carl Stigers
"Tom Watson" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
<regrretful snippage>
> (Watson - who don't know what a maven is.but o'deen keeps talking
> about them.and it set me to thinking.)
Funny I didn't either, but now I do too...
> (oh yeah - apologies to eap.)
I don't think he'd mind.
On Tue, 06 Jul 2004 19:13:06 GMT, patriarch
<<patriarch>[email protected]> wrote:
[snip]
|We went to hear Maynard Ferguson play at a high school some years back,
|because our sons were in the music programs (Shame that those are under
|such $$$ pressure...) We were literally blown away with the skill and the
|volume. And worried that the most talented of the boys had suffered
|permanent hearing damage. His ears buzzed for three days.
Gad. Was this perhaps at Flowing Wells HS in Tucson? If so, my wife
and I were at that concert. We happened to meet a girl (girl...she
had two masters degrees, EE and Physics) I worked with and her
husband.
At intermission we all went out to my truck where I had a bottle of
wine stashed. We sat on the tailgate and drank it out of paper cups
and then decided that Maynard's big band with a megawatt sound system
in a concrete auditorium was too damn loud and left for our house.
The night got better from there but I best not talk about that. [G]
Wes
On Mon, 28 Jun 2004 19:42:53 -0400, Tom Watson <[email protected]>
wrote:
>(On hearing that Norm is retiring)
>
>
>The Maven
>
>
>Once upon a midnight beery, while I pondered drunk and bleary,
>Over many a quaint and curious volume of old wreck dot normie lore,
>While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
>As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my shop's front door.
>`'Tis some chucklehead,' I muttered, `tapping at my shop's front door
>-
<snip>
You are an aahtist, sir. Very nice.
tt
Patrick Olguin wrote:
> Tom Watson <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
>
>>(On hearing that Norm is retiring)
>>
>>
>>The Maven
>
>
> [poetry unfit for this keyboard driver to repost]
>
> Tom Watson is the Allen Vizzutti of rec.norm.
>
> Allow me to explain. My other calling (a calling in which I possess a
> great deal more talent, judgement and knowledge) is music. I've been
> a semi-professional trumpet player for 20-some-odd years. I won't
> drop names, stages or dates, but it reads impressively if you leave
> out the gigs at junior high schools, senior centers, and warehouse
> rooftops. There are some who've said I'm one of the best they've ever
> heard (poor uncultured souls). I have a good time, and on occasion
> sound pretty good.
>
> As in woodworking, we musicians enjoy the work of the real masters.
> Many inspire, some shock, some aren't all that impressive and we
> wonder how the hell they hold the job they do. And there's Allen
> Vizzutti. His playing is impeccable, creative, vibrant, and yet never
> boring. His playing is familiar, yet unimaginable.
>
> When I hear that guy play, I want to do one thing and one thing only -
> I want to take my trumpet and make it into a lamp, because when it
> comes to doing what can be done with a horn, it just ain't gonna
> happen, no matter how long I'd practice and sacrifice.
>
> So Tom, thank you for the affirmation that the best use of my
> computer, modem and keyboard is to lash it all together and make it
> into a boat anchor.
>
> Tom Watson - the Allen Vizzutti of rec.norm.
>
> Humbly submitted,
> O'Deen
humbly???? yeah, right! right after you told us you are a
fine musician?? you crack me up, P.O! (you won't drop
names, but it reads impressively?) What a shmoe!
dave