Murphy is going to get you! (some wood content)

Murphy cannot be avoided, no matter how you try.

This morning I was donating platelets, which requires a fat needle in
your vein for a couple of hours. I was just about finished and my book
slipped on my lap. Unconsciously I started to grab for it with my left
arm, which would have driven the needle through the vein, out the other
side, and pain notwithstanding, would have produced a world-class
bruise. But I outwitted Murphy and caught myself just in time.

Later I was pressure-washing the house in preparation for painting. I
didn't get the "equipment protection" insurance, believing that's only
for clumsy idiots, so I was being very careful not to drop the wand, and
to keep the washer out of harms way. I was just finished with the
upstairs portion of the house, and as I was preparing to step on to my
ladder I noticed the moss on the roof. "I sure hope that isn't
slippery", I thought, and gingerly tested it's friction with my foot.
It wasn't slippery, so I stepped on the ladder. It, however, wasn't so
firmly anchored, and down I went with a loud clatter, a sharp yell, and
much "French" outburts. However, I was ok except for a couple of
scrapes. My wife came running, and I assured her that I was alright,
and then I noticed that my glasses were missing. Sure that they were
broken, I found them under the ladder with a rung sitting between the
lenses. The glasses were unhurt!

Finally, I finished up, feeling relieved that I had dodged at least two
bullets today. I went out to the garage to grab a beer to put in the
icebox. The cans were sitting on a loose six-pack of cola, and as I
grabbed a beer can, the whole shebang went crashing down between the
shelves, my wood scrap barrel, and my tablesaw. Sure that there would
be a big, wet mess, I gingerly moved the scrap barrel, but none of the
cans were punctured!

As I was replacing the cans, I noticed that one cola can was wrinkled.
I put it back on the shelf, but it slipped from my grasp, and Murphy had
his due. It sprayed about eight ounces of high fructose corn syrup all
over me, the scrap barrel, the shelves, and my tablesaw.

Murphy will not be denied!