LH

"Lew Hodgett"

24/08/2011 7:06 PM

O/T: Love This Phone Call

Enjoy

Lew
----------------------------------------
> **Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**
>
> **'Hello?'**
>
> **'Hi honey.**
>
> **This is Daddy.**
>
> **Is Mommy near the phone?'**
>
> **'No, Daddy.**
>
> **She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'**
>
> **After a brief pause,**
>
> **Daddy says,**
>
> **'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'**
>
> **'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy,**
>
> **Right now.'**
>
> Brief Pause.
>
> **'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.**
>
> **Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs**
>
> **And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy**
>
> **That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'**
>
> **'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'**
>
> **A few minutes later**
>
> **The little girl comes back to the phone.**
>
> **'I did it, Daddy.'**
>
> **'And what happened, honey?' **
>
> 'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes**
> **on and ran around screaming.**
>
> **Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser**
>
> **And now she isn't moving at all!'**
>
> **'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'**
>
> **'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.**
>
> **He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window**
>
> **And into the swimming pool.**

> **But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water**
> **Last week to clean it.**
>
> **He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'**
>
> *****Long Pause*****
>
> *****Longer Pause*****
>
> *****Even Longer Pause*****
>
> **Then Daddy says,**
>
> **'Swimming pool? .............**
>
> **Is this 486-5731?'*
>
> *No, I think you have the wrong number.........



This topic has 21 replies

cb

charlie b

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

27/08/2011 2:03 PM

I believe it's to suggest that someone
"engage in aeronautical intercourse with a transversing to toroid"

which works out to be the same as
"take a flying F at a rolling dount"

PT

"Paul T."

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

25/08/2011 2:43 AM

O
>> *No, I think you have the wrong number.........

Got a good laugh out of that one.

Paul T.

LH

"Lew Hodgett"

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

25/08/2011 12:40 PM

"Twayne" wrote:

> Now let's try for one tha'ts ON TOPIC! Save the jokes & similar crap
> for your relatives and friends!
-------------------------------------
Still suffering from advanced analitis I see.

Maybe performing aerial intercourse on a rotating annular spheroid is
more your speed?

Try it.

Lew

.

LH

"Lew Hodgett"

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

25/08/2011 2:52 PM


"Dave" wrote:

> (Psst. Should this conversation be labelled O/T? I don't want Twayne
> coming after me.)
----------------------------------
No guts, no blue chips.

Lew

LH

"Lew Hodgett"

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

25/08/2011 5:37 PM


"Larry W" wrote:

> That is funny. Reminds me of this
>
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqndt_8zbZI
>
> Don't know if it was staged or really happened though.
------------------------------
Remember Balderstone's piece on anger management?

Lew

Pp

Puckdropper

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

26/08/2011 2:46 AM

"Twayne" <[email protected]> wrote in news:j361o9$7dm$1@dont-
email.me:

> ...
>
> Now let's try for one tha'ts ON TOPIC! Save the jokes & similar crap for
> your relatives and friends!
>
>

Got any good woodworking jokes?

Puckdropper

MM

"Mike Marlow"

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

25/08/2011 3:41 PM

Twayne wrote:
> In news:[email protected],
> Lew Hodgett <[email protected]> typed:
>> Enjoy
>>
>> Lew
>> ----------------------------------------
>>> **Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**
>>>
>>> **'Hello?'**
>>>
>
> ...
>
> Now let's try for one tha'ts ON TOPIC! Save the jokes & similar crap
> for your relatives and friends!

He did. He shared it with his friends here - who enjoyed it. If you don't
enjoy it, don't read it.

Did I miss the memo that appointed you the manager of the internet?

--

-Mike-
[email protected]

Du

Dave

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

25/08/2011 4:23 PM

On Thu, 25 Aug 2011 16:15:50 -0400, FrozenNorth
>> New Net Cop. Give him a chance to make a fool of himself a little bit
>> longer. New net cops are always good for a laugh.
>
>Hah, you spelt netkop wrong. :-)

<grimace> I'm so ashamed. Forgive me please.

(Psst. Should this conversation be labelled O/T? I don't want Twayne
coming after me.)

mI

"m II"

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

25/08/2011 10:48 PM

Kinda' feels like you,re lookin' in the mirror, huh?

------------
"Steve Turner" wrote in message news:[email protected]...
Well said, Leon, and I admire your seemingly never-ending supply of
patience.
My own level of tolerance for jackasses is pretty close to zero.


Hh

"HeyBub"

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

27/08/2011 8:04 AM

Twayne wrote:
> In news:[email protected],
> Lew Hodgett <[email protected]> typed:
>> Enjoy
>>
>> Lew
>> ----------------------------------------
>>> **Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**
>>>
>>> **'Hello?'**
>>>
>
> ...
>
> Now let's try for one tha'ts ON TOPIC! Save the jokes & similar crap
> for your relatives and friends!

Everyone here IS a friend.

Well, mostly everyone. There's always an exception.

Cc

CW

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

25/08/2011 6:06 PM

On 8/25/2011 3:41 PM, Larry W wrote:
> That is funny. Reminds me of this
>
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqndt_8zbZI
>
> Don't know if it was staged or really happened though.
>
>
Try this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7OgWcwgB50

Ll

Leon

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

25/08/2011 6:09 PM

On 8/25/2011 12:45 PM, Twayne wrote:
> In news:[email protected],
> Lew Hodgett<[email protected]> typed:
>> Enjoy
>>
>> Lew
>> ----------------------------------------
>>> **Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**
>>>
>>> **'Hello?'**
>>>
>
> ...
>
> Now let's try for one tha'ts ON TOPIC! Save the jokes& similar crap for
> your relatives and friends!
>
>

How about you hang around for a few years and get the feel of the group
before you start playing net-nanny.

MK

Michael Karas

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

24/08/2011 8:27 PM

In article <[email protected]>,
[email protected] says...
>
> Enjoy
>
> Lew
> ----------------------------------------
> > **Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**
> >

Old One...

But still a darn good laugh.

--

Michael Karas
Carousel Design Solutions
http://www.carousel-design.com

Tn

"Twayne"

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

25/08/2011 1:45 PM

In news:[email protected],
Lew Hodgett <[email protected]> typed:
> Enjoy
>
> Lew
> ----------------------------------------
>> **Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**
>>
>> **'Hello?'**
>>

...

Now let's try for one tha'ts ON TOPIC! Save the jokes & similar crap for
your relatives and friends!

Ff

FrozenNorth

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

25/08/2011 3:49 PM

On 8/25/11 1:45 PM, Twayne wrote:
>
> Now let's try for one tha'ts ON TOPIC! Save the jokes& similar crap for
> your relatives and friends!
>
You are a fine example of cranial rectal insertion.

--
Froz...


The system will be down for 10 days for preventive maintenance.

Ff

FrozenNorth

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

25/08/2011 4:15 PM

On 8/25/11 4:05 PM, Dave wrote:
> On Thu, 25 Aug 2011 15:49:56 -0400, FrozenNorth
>> You are a fine example of cranial rectal insertion.
>
> New Net Cop. Give him a chance to make a fool of himself a little bit
> longer. New net cops are always good for a laugh.

Hah, you spelt netkop wrong. :-)

--
Froz...


The system will be down for 10 days for preventive maintenance.

lL

[email protected] (Larry W)

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

25/08/2011 10:41 PM

That is funny. Reminds me of this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqndt_8zbZI

Don't know if it was staged or really happened though.


--
The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation
with the average voter. (Winston Churchill)

Larry Wasserman - Baltimore Maryland - lwasserm(a)sdf. lonestar. org

ST

Steve Turner

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

25/08/2011 6:43 PM

On 8/25/2011 6:09 PM, Leon wrote:
> On 8/25/2011 12:45 PM, Twayne wrote:
>> In news:[email protected],
>> Lew Hodgett<[email protected]> typed:
>>> Enjoy
>>>
>>> Lew
>>> ----------------------------------------
>>>> **Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**
>>>>
>>>> **'Hello?'**
>>>>
>>
>> ...
>>
>> Now let's try for one tha'ts ON TOPIC! Save the jokes& similar crap for
>> your relatives and friends!
>>
>>
>
> How about you hang around for a few years and get the feel of the group before
> you start playing net-nanny.

Well said, Leon, and I admire your seemingly never-ending supply of patience.
My own level of tolerance for jackasses is pretty close to zero.

--
"Our beer goes through thousands of quality Czechs every day."
(From a Shiner Bock billboard I saw in Austin some years ago)
To reply, eat the taco.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bbqboyee/

Du

Dave

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

25/08/2011 4:05 PM

On Thu, 25 Aug 2011 15:49:56 -0400, FrozenNorth
>You are a fine example of cranial rectal insertion.

New Net Cop. Give him a chance to make a fool of himself a little bit
longer. New net cops are always good for a laugh.

LJ

Larry Jaques

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

26/08/2011 5:22 AM

On 26 Aug 2011 02:46:36 GMT, Puckdropper
<puckdropper(at)yahoo(dot)com> wrote:

>"Twayne" <[email protected]> wrote in news:j361o9$7dm$1@dont-
>email.me:
>
>> ...
>>
>> Now let's try for one tha'ts ON TOPIC! Save the jokes & similar crap for
>> your relatives and friends!
>
>Got any good woodworking jokes?

Easier to bit-bucket yet another bozo.

--
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
-- Jimi Hendrix

Hh

"HeyBub"

in reply to "Lew Hodgett" on 24/08/2011 7:06 PM

27/08/2011 8:09 AM

Puckdropper wrote:
> "Twayne" <[email protected]> wrote in news:j361o9$7dm$1@dont-
> email.me:
>
>> ...
>>
>> Now let's try for one tha'ts ON TOPIC! Save the jokes & similar crap
>> for your relatives and friends!
>>
>>
>
> Got any good woodworking jokes?
>

A Chinese woodcarver noticed his supply of expensive woods was diminishing.
Upon further investigation, he noticed small footprints in the floor's
sawdust.

The woodcarver decided to catch the thief by hiding in his shop during the
night.

Sure enough, that very evening he heard a disturbance in the shop. The
woodcarver jumped from his hiding place and switched on the lights. To his
amazement, he saw a 7-foot BEAR with itty-bitty feet!

Thinking quickly, the woodcarver cried out: "Ah ha! I've caught you,
boy-foot bear with teak of Chan!"


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