I'm a modern man. A man for the millenium. Digital and smoke free. A
diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist, politically,
anatomically, and ecologically incorrect. I've been uplinked and
downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of
downsizing I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high tech lo-life.
A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bi-coastal multitasker and I can
give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I'm new wave but I'm old school
and my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hotwired, heatseaking,
warmhearted cool customer, voice activated and biodegradable. I
interface with my database and my database is in cyberspace, so I'm
interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time I'm radioactive.
Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging
the bullet, and pushing the envelope. I'm on point, on task, on
message, and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed. I got no
urge to binge and purge. I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top,
but under the radar. A high concept, low profile, medium range
ballistic missionary. A streetwise smartbomb. A top-gun bottom feeder.
I wear power ties; I tell power lies; I take power naps; I take
victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot, slamdunk rain maker with
a pro-active outreach, a raging workaholic, a working rage-a-holic,
out of rehab and in denial. I got a personal trainer, a personal
shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal angenda. You can't shut
me up, you can't dumb me down, cause I'm tireless and I'm wireless.
I'm an alpha-male on beta-blockers. I'm a non-believer and an
overacheiver, laid-back but fashion foward, up front, down home, low
rent, high maintenance, supersize, long lasting, high definition, fast
acting, oven ready, and built to last. I'm a hands on, footloose, knee-
jerk headcase, prematurely postraumatic, and I have a love child who
sends me hate mail. But I'm feeling; I'm caring; I'm healing; I'm
sharing; a supportive, bonding, nurturing, primary caregiver. My
output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the
long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk-
mail; I eat junk food; I buy junk bonds; I watch trash sports. I'm
gender specific, captial intensive, user friendly, and lactose
intolerant. I like rough sex; I like tough love; I use the f-word in
my email, and the software on my hard drive is hardcore; no soft porn.
I bought a microwave at a minimall; I bought a minivan at a megastore.
I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm toll free, bite size, ready to
wear, and I come in all sizes; a fully equipped, factory authorized,
hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical
miracle. I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened,
pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double wrapped,
vacuum packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I'm a rude
dude but I'm the real deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked, and ready
to rock; rough, tough, and hard to bluff. I take it slow; I go with
the flow; I ride with the tide; I got glide in my stride; driving and
moving, sailing and spinning, jiving and grooving, wailing and
winning. I don't snooze, so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the
metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy and lunchtime is
crunchtime. I'm hanging in, there ain't no doubt, and I'm hanging
tough, over and out.
(G Carlin)
On Dec 7, 2:20 pm, Tim Douglass <[email protected]> wrote:
> On Fri, 7 Dec 2007 09:08:36 -0500, "J. Clarke"
>
> <[email protected]> wrote:
> >Ron Magen wrote:
> >> 'The grass is always greener over the cesspool'
> >> - Erma
> >> Bombeck
>
> >I hate to nitpick, but it's "The grass is always greener over the
> >septic tank".
>
> Curiously enough, the grass is usually *browner* over the septic tank
> due to the shallow depth of the soil before the concrete lid. The
> grass is, however, greener over the drainfield. The easiest way to
> find your septic tank is to stop watering your lawn for a week or so
> in the middle of summer and look for the brown circle or rectangle.
>
> Not that this is really relevant to this oh so important thread....
>
*cracking up*
On Dec 4, 1:57 am, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
> I've started a series of turnings representing cliches. Your post is a
> gold mine
> of ideas. Leave it to Carlin. thanks!
Lately, in the shop, we've been deliberately mixing up old sayings. We
end up with stuff like "The grass is always greener just before the
dawn."
or
"We'll cross that bridge like a bull in a china shop."
....juvenile, I know...but it does get funny sometimes..
On Dec 7, 9:08 am, "J. Clarke" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Ron Magen wrote:
> > 'The grass is always greener over the cesspool'
> > - Erma
> > Bombeck
>
> I hate to nitpick,
John hates to nitpick.
Right.
Fred the Red Shirt <[email protected]> wrote in
news:[email protected]:
> On Dec 4, 2:54 pm, Robatoy <[email protected]> wrote:
>> On Dec 4, 1:57 am, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>> > I've started a series of turnings representing cliches. Your post
>> > is a gold mine
>> > of ideas. Leave it to Carlin. thanks!
>>
>> Lately, in the shop, we've been deliberately mixing up old sayings.
>> We end up with stuff like "The grass is always greener just before
>> the dawn."
>> or
>> "We'll cross that bridge like a bull in a china shop."
>>
>> ....juvenile, I know...but it does get funny sometimes..
>
> Is a bear Catholic?
>
> Does the Pope, er, never mind.
>
Right! It's not brain science. Or rocket surgery.
"Robert Allison" wrote
> On our jobsites, we have ethnic days. Everyone must speak
> with the accent of the selected ethnicity. We do german,
> italian, pakistani, chinese, french, mexican and (my personal
> favorite)
For that on our jobsites, I have to get by every morning with those
magnificent sons-of-bitches, 'Walton and Johnson' on the radio.
--
www.e-woodshop.net
Last update: 11/30/07
KarlC@ (the obvious)
On Dec 4, 2:54 pm, Robatoy <[email protected]> wrote:
> On Dec 4, 1:57 am, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > I've started a series of turnings representing cliches. Your post is a
> > gold mine
> > of ideas. Leave it to Carlin. thanks!
>
> Lately, in the shop, we've been deliberately mixing up old sayings. We
> end up with stuff like "The grass is always greener just before the
> dawn."
> or
> "We'll cross that bridge like a bull in a china shop."
>
> ....juvenile, I know...but it does get funny sometimes..
Is a bear Catholic?
Does the Pope, er, never mind.
--
FF
Robatoy wrote:
> I'm a modern man. A man for the millenium. Digital and smoke free. A
> diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist, politically,
> anatomically, and ecologically incorrect. I've been uplinked and
> downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of
> downsizing I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high tech
> lo-life.
> A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bi-coastal multitasker and I can
> give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I'm new wave but I'm old school
> and my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hotwired, heatseaking,
> warmhearted cool customer, voice activated and biodegradable. I
> interface with my database and my database is in cyberspace, so I'm
> interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time I'm radioactive.
> Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging
> the bullet, and pushing the envelope. I'm on point, on task, on
> message, and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed. I got no
> urge to binge and purge. I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the
> top,
> but under the radar. A high concept, low profile, medium range
> ballistic missionary. A streetwise smartbomb. A top-gun bottom
> feeder.
> I wear power ties; I tell power lies; I take power naps; I take
> victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot, slamdunk rain maker
> with
> a pro-active outreach, a raging workaholic, a working rage-a-holic,
> out of rehab and in denial. I got a personal trainer, a personal
> shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal angenda. You can't
> shut
> me up, you can't dumb me down, cause I'm tireless and I'm wireless.
> I'm an alpha-male on beta-blockers. I'm a non-believer and an
> overacheiver, laid-back but fashion foward, up front, down home, low
> rent, high maintenance, supersize, long lasting, high definition,
> fast
> acting, oven ready, and built to last. I'm a hands on, footloose,
> knee- jerk headcase, prematurely postraumatic, and I have a love
> child who sends me hate mail. But I'm feeling; I'm caring; I'm
> healing; I'm sharing; a supportive, bonding, nurturing, primary
> caregiver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short
> position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash
> flow. I read junk- mail; I eat junk food; I buy junk bonds; I watch
> trash sports. I'm gender specific, captial intensive, user friendly,
> and lactose intolerant. I like rough sex; I like tough love; I use
> the f-word in my email, and the software on my hard drive is
> hardcore; no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a minimall; I bought
> a minivan at a megastore. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm toll
> free, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes; a fully
> equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven,
> scientifically formulated medical miracle. I've been pre-washed,
> pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged,
> post-dated, freeze-dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed, and I have
> an unlimited broadband capacity. I'm a rude dude but I'm the real
> deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked, and ready to rock; rough,
> tough,
> and hard to bluff. I take it slow; I go with the flow; I ride with
> the tide; I got glide in my stride; driving and moving, sailing and
> spinning, jiving and grooving, wailing and winning. I don't snooze,
> so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the
> road. I party hardy and lunchtime is crunchtime. I'm hanging in,
> there ain't no doubt, and I'm hanging tough, over and out.
> (G Carlin)
I wonder if he's ever jammed with Alanis Morrissette.
--
--
--John
to email, dial "usenet" and validate
(was jclarke at eye bee em dot net)
Robatoy wrote:
> On Dec 4, 1:57 am, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
>> I've started a series of turnings representing cliches. Your post is a
>> gold mine
>> of ideas. Leave it to Carlin. thanks!
>
> Lately, in the shop, we've been deliberately mixing up old sayings. We
> end up with stuff like "The grass is always greener just before the
> dawn."
> or
> "We'll cross that bridge like a bull in a china shop."
>
> .....juvenile, I know...but it does get funny sometimes..
>
>
You can drive a horse to water but a
pencil must be lead.
--
Tanus
This is not really a sig.
http://www.home.mycybernet.net/~waugh/shop/
Ron Magen wrote:
> 'The grass is always greener over the cesspool'
> - Erma
> Bombeck
I hate to nitpick, but it's "The grass is always greener over the
septic tank".
http://www.amazon.com/Grass-Always-Greener-over-Septic/dp/0345471725/ref=pd_bbs_7?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1197036472&sr=8-7
> "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote
>>
>> "Robatoy" <[email protected]> wrote
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>> The grass is always greener before it gets pooped-on.
--
--
--John
to email, dial "usenet" and validate
(was jclarke at eye bee em dot net)
'The grass is always greener over the cesspool'
- Erma Bombeck
"Leon" <[email protected]> wrote
>
> "Robatoy" <[email protected]> wrote
<[email protected]> wrote:
>
> The grass is always greener before it gets pooped-on.
>
>
J. Clarke laid this down on his screen :
> Robatoy wrote:
(great lines snipped)
>> (G Carlin)
>
> I wonder if he's ever jammed with Alanis Morrissette.
>
Nah, George is a bright boy - he knows words well. Ms M doesn't even
know what 'irony' is. She wrote a whole song purporting to give
examples and none were ironic at all. In fact the biggest irony was the
fact that there was no irony. Ain't that ironic?
Mekon
Robatoy wrote:
> On Dec 4, 1:57 am, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>I've started a series of turnings representing cliches. Your post is a
>>gold mine
>>of ideas. Leave it to Carlin. thanks!
>
>
> Lately, in the shop, we've been deliberately mixing up old sayings. We
> end up with stuff like "The grass is always greener just before the
> dawn."
> or
> "We'll cross that bridge like a bull in a china shop."
>
> ....juvenile, I know...but it does get funny sometimes..
>
>
On our jobsites, we have ethnic days. Everyone must speak
with the accent of the selected ethnicity. We do german,
italian, pakistani, chinese, french, mexican and (my personal
favorite) Scotty from Startrek.
Sample conversation:
Grrab thet wall and we'll set it in place.
Aye, captain!
Push!
I'm giving it all shes got, captain!
--
Robert Allison
Rimshot, Inc.
Georgetown, TX
How about "It's always darkest just before it's pitch black"
By Mao, I've heard.
-Zz
On Tue, 4 Dec 2007 06:54:33 -0800 (PST), Robatoy
<[email protected]> wrote:
>On Dec 4, 1:57 am, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
>> I've started a series of turnings representing cliches. Your post is a
>> gold mine
>> of ideas. Leave it to Carlin. thanks!
>
>Lately, in the shop, we've been deliberately mixing up old sayings. We
>end up with stuff like "The grass is always greener just before the
>dawn."
>or
>"We'll cross that bridge like a bull in a china shop."
>
>....juvenile, I know...but it does get funny sometimes..
>
"Robatoy" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:5de85754-5a4d-4585-a61c-6bb21a70d35c@y43g2000hsy.googlegroups.com...
> On Dec 4, 1:57 am, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
>> I've started a series of turnings representing cliches. Your post is a
>> gold mine
>> of ideas. Leave it to Carlin. thanks!
>
> Lately, in the shop, we've been deliberately mixing up old sayings. We
> end up with stuff like "The grass is always greener just before the
> dawn."
> or
> "We'll cross that bridge like a bull in a china shop."
>
> ....juvenile, I know...but it does get funny sometimes..
>
>
The grass is always greener before it gets pooped-on.
On Fri, 7 Dec 2007 09:08:36 -0500, "J. Clarke"
<[email protected]> wrote:
>Ron Magen wrote:
>> 'The grass is always greener over the cesspool'
>> - Erma
>> Bombeck
>
>I hate to nitpick, but it's "The grass is always greener over the
>septic tank".
>
Curiously enough, the grass is usually *browner* over the septic tank
due to the shallow depth of the soil before the concrete lid. The
grass is, however, greener over the drainfield. The easiest way to
find your septic tank is to stop watering your lawn for a week or so
in the middle of summer and look for the brown circle or rectangle.
Not that this is really relevant to this oh so important thread....
Tim Douglass
http://www.DouglassClan.com
Definition of a teenager: God's punishment for enjoying sex.