OT New "Texas Survivors" season

On Mar 3, 11:24=A0am, "HeyBub" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Robatoy wrote:
> > On Mar 3, 7:40 am, Jack Stein <[email protected]> wrote:
> >> Robatoy wrote:
> >>> I don't think Texas has an edge on assholes, it's just that the
> >>> world has been looking at the biggest one for about 8 years. He has
> >>> done for the Texas image what he has done for anything else he
> >>> touched. Ruined it.
> >>> So Texas has some recovering to do; some damage control.
>
> >> Any that think Texas sucks (or not) based on the fact that 57 states
> >> voted and he was elected has to be competing for the worlds biggest
> >> assholes degree!
> >> --
> >> Jack
> >> Using FREE News Server:http://Motzarella.orghttp://jbstein.com
>
> > Therein lies the problem. Fraud. Not votes. I mean, 57 states?
>
> > You're just being contrary, aintcha Jack?
>
> Fifty-seven entities voted in the Democratic Party selection process. The=
re
> were the fifty states, of course, plus:
>
> District of Columbia
> Guam
> Puerto Rico
> American Samoa
> American Virgin Islands
> Patagonia and, uh,
> Either the Hebrides Islands or Uruguay, I forget.

What? No Iraq?

On Mar 1, 4:12=A0pm, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
> So I guess I'd better remove my
> "Nuke The Terrorist Gay Baby Whales"
> bumper sticker?
>
> Lighten up. =A0Loosen up.
>
> There are plenty of actually offensive
> things going on to cope with - or rant
> and rail against.

like:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7917295.stm

Oops.. also in Texas.

On Mar 2, 5:37=A0pm, "HeyBub" <[email protected]> wrote:

> Bumper sticker:
> "South Austin: We're all here because we're not all there"

Oh man... I like that one!!

Robert

<[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
On Mar 1, 1:17 pm, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:

> Well, I am sorry if it offended you or any one else, I truly am. It was
> not aimed at any one in general as Texans fall on both sides of liking/
> tolerating and not liking/ not tolerating all of the mentioned.

Why would you apologize?

I did not want to explain that there really was no Easter Bunny. ;~)

"HeyBub" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Robatoy wrote:
>> On Mar 3, 7:40 am, Jack Stein <[email protected]> wrote:
>>> Robatoy wrote:
>>>> I don't think Texas has an edge on assholes, it's just that the
>>>> world has been looking at the biggest one for about 8 years. He has
>>>> done for the Texas image what he has done for anything else he
>>>> touched. Ruined it.
>>>> So Texas has some recovering to do; some damage control.
>>>
>>> Any that think Texas sucks (or not) based on the fact that 57 states
>>> voted and he was elected has to be competing for the worlds biggest
>>> assholes degree!
>>> --
>>> Jack
>>> Using FREE News Server:http://Motzarella.orghttp://jbstein.com
>>
>> Therein lies the problem. Fraud. Not votes. I mean, 57 states?
>>
>> You're just being contrary, aintcha Jack?
>
> Fifty-seven entities voted in the Democratic Party selection process.
> There were the fifty states, of course, plus:
>
> District of Columbia
> Guam
> Puerto Rico
> American Samoa
> American Virgin Islands
> Patagonia and, uh,
> Either the Hebrides Islands or Uruguay, I forget.

Michigan's and Florida's votes didn't count; only 48 states.

Dave in Houston

"Morris Dovey" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...

>
> While agreeing with everything you say, I'm still mindful of the fact that
> it was a 15 year old girl, that there were two trained officers, and that
> it's pretty much unnecessary to pin someone down and THEN beat them to
> maintain physical control.

Agreed! Basically they lowered themselves to her level and they should have
probably shown more restraint. They simply lowered their guard and acted on
her challange.

On Mar 1, 2:03=A0pm, LRod <[email protected]> wrote:
> On Sun, 1 Mar 2009 12:02:32 -0600, "Leon"
>
>
>
> <[email protected]> wrote:
> >Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do o=
ne
> >entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style."
>
> >The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin ,=
San
> >Antonio , over to Houston, then down to
> >Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland ,
> >Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo .
> >From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, back =
to
> >Dallas .
> >Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read:
> >"I'm Gay,"
> >"I Love the Dixie Chicks,"
> >"Boycott Beef,"
> >"I Voted for Obama,"
> >"George Strait Sucks,"
> >"Hillary in 2012," and
> >"I'm here to confiscate your guns."
> >The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins.
>
> I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might
> not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also
> paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as
> attractive as you might think.
>
> There are two or three here on the wreck I would have expected this
> sort of thing from--you weren't one of them.
>
> --
> LRod
>
> Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite
>
> Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999
>
> http://www.woodbutcher.nethttp://www.normstools.com
>
> Proud participant of rec.woodworking since February, 1997
>
> email addy de-spam-ified due to 1,000 spams per month.
> If you can't figure out how to use it, I probably wouldn't
> care to correspond with you anyway.

OMG, take a joke.

Although, I have to say, with the possible exception of Austin, the
tone of the joke is dead on. And I've been there a lot.

Now, I grew up in NYC, so if I can't take a joke about my home turf I
would be in big trouble. And NY is, as we all know, the center of the
universe.

-Jim

On Mar 1, 10:02=A0am, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do on=
e
> entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style."
>
> The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin , =
San
> Antonio , over to Houston, then down to
> Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland ,
> Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo .
> From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, back t=
o
> Dallas .
> Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read:
> "I'm Gay,"
> "I Love the Dixie Chicks,"
> "Boycott Beef,"
> "I Voted for Obama,"
> "George Strait Sucks,"
> "Hillary in 2012," and
> "I'm here to confiscate your guns."
> The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins.

WOW Leon - you sure nuff know how to start a political war on the
wreck! LOL! Didn't we talk about this when I lived in Texas? MORE
LOL! And to think I missed the wreck that much. Just forgot some of
the fun that goes on here. I'd seen this before and thinks it's as
funny as ever. Having lived in Texas for 21+ years, it gives me the
right to laugh. For those of you who don't thanks for the extra
chuckle. Come on guys - it's a joke. Is it politically correct?
Probably not . . . but then again take a look at Washington and let me
know everything there is "politically correct" as well. Right on Leon
- Paul Harvey passed away . . . keep the tongue-in-cheek humor alive!

J

About Texans:

In Texas there is a saying that "You can lead a horse to the water. But you
can't make him drink". This pretty much describes most Texans.

But you know that another Texan disproved this addage. Actually Two Texans
disproved this proverb. It took one Texan to hold the horse's head in the
water while the other had to get on the horse's ass and SUCK!!!!

Texans are hardheaded. I know - my dad and mom are from Texas...

Philski (back after a long hiatus from rec.woodworking)


"Leon" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:I%[email protected]...
> Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one
> entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style."
>
> The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin ,
> San Antonio , over to Houston, then down to
> Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland ,
> Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo .
> From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, back to
> Dallas .
> Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read:
> "I'm Gay,"
> "I Love the Dixie Chicks,"
> "Boycott Beef,"
> "I Voted for Obama,"
> "George Strait Sucks,"
> "Hillary in 2012," and
> "I'm here to confiscate your guns."
> The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins.
>

So I guess I'd better remove my
"Nuke The Terrorist Gay Baby Whales"
bumper sticker?

Lighten up. Loosen up.

There are plenty of actually offensive
things going on to cope with - or rant
and rail against.

Hey! Even as just a visitor to the fair town of Kyle, I was afforded
a "tab" at the Kyle Hardware Store, a seat at the old kitchen table
in the back, free coffee if I had my own cup, and got to know a
half dozen local characters sitting around that table in the back
- one an old flamboyant gay gentleman, another a crusty weather
worn rancher, an about to retire lineman for the electric company
who shoots some of his buddies up on a pole - with a pellet gun -
just for fun (he only give the rifle a pump or two), a semi-retired
elderly gambler, and Bubba, the son of the couple who own the place,
who invited me to go Muddin' with him sometime before my visit
ended.

When a furniture maker friend suggested I stop in at a local
turning club meeting - held in a VFW room - I was made to feel at
home the minute I walked in the door.

And it's easy to strike up a conversation with Texans, unlike city
dwelling New Yorkers. And they don't hold it against you if you
don't drive a pickup - with or without a gun rack. And smoking
isn't a Scurge On The Town, nor is tilting back a couple, even in
public, assuming it isn't snowing or hailing. And folks don't bitch
and moan when the thermometer breaks the 85 degree, or 30
degree barrier.

I'm not thrilled about the idea that they have a Death Sentence
Express Lane - but that's just my view.

So, hats off to Texans. I won't hold Dubya against them either
- since he's actually a New England Blue Blood, despite his
Aw Shucks, Shit Kicker fascade, Tejano disguise.

Leon wrote:
> "Robatoy" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:1441ff81-986c-42a1-858d-dfb52dfc2666@p11g2000yqe.googlegroups.com...
> On Mar 1, 4:12 pm, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
>> So I guess I'd better remove my
>> "Nuke The Terrorist Gay Baby Whales"
>> bumper sticker?
>>
>> Lighten up. Loosen up.
>>
>> There are plenty of actually offensive
>> things going on to cope with - or rant
>> and rail against.
>
> like:
> http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7917295.stm
>
> Oops.. also in Texas.
>
>
> Are your referring to the video of the cops beating up the girl in the jail
> cell? That was in Washington state, closer to Canada than Texas. ;!)
>
> Regardless, I don't care who you are, if you show aggression towards law
> enforcement you are pretty much asking for it. this is pretty much common
> sense. It may not be right that they went after her but they are only
> human, like her.

While agreeing with everything you say, I'm still mindful of the fact
that it was a 15 year old girl, that there were two trained officers,
and that it's pretty much unnecessary to pin someone down and THEN beat
them to maintain physical control.

Sometimes we're obliged to prove our humanity by exercising adult
judgment and self-control, /especially/ in situations like that shown.

(2 cents)

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto/

Dave in Houston wrote:

> We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just retooled
> Polish jokes.

Heh - it's been a while, but at the last really good Polish bash I went
to (pre-glasnost/peristroika, in Chicago) the Poles were telling Russian
jokes, and they pretty much sounded like the Italian and Irish jokes I'd
heard in New York.

I kinda had to wonder if they didn't start out as Greek, Persian, or
Egyptian jokes...

:-)

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto/

HeyBub wrote:

<snippage of Judean adaptations>

I think all of those were brought back from either Egypt or Babylon.

:-)

--
Morris Dovey
DeSoto Solar
DeSoto, Iowa USA
http://www.iedu.com/DeSoto/

"Leon" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> > by calling other states "lesser", maybe unconsciously, but still done
> > nevertheless.
>
> Good observation but all but one state are smaller than Texas. LOL

No you don't! A valiant attempt, but you're not exempting "lesser" that
easily. :)

On Mar 1, 7:52=A0pm, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
> "Robatoy" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>
> news:1441ff81-986c-42a1-858d-dfb52dfc2666@p11g2000yqe.googlegroups.com...
> On Mar 1, 4:12 pm, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > So I guess I'd better remove my
> > "Nuke The Terrorist Gay Baby Whales"
> > bumper sticker?
>
> > Lighten up. Loosen up.
>
> > There are plenty of actually offensive
> > things going on to cope with - or rant
> > and rail against.
>
> like:http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7917295.stm
>
> Oops.. also in Texas.
>
> Are your referring to the video of the cops beating up the girl in the ja=
il
> cell? =A0That was in Washington state, closer to Canada than Texas. =A0;!=
)
>
> Regardless, I don't care who you are, if you show aggression towards law
> enforcement you are pretty much asking for it. =A0this is pretty much com=
mon
> sense. =A0It may not be right that they went after her but they are only
> human, like her.

I was agreeing with charlie that there are other offensive things to
rant and rave against.

..and that that kinda shit also happens in Texas....and a lot of other
places..but Texas came to mind first...

On Mar 3, 7:40=A0am, Jack Stein <[email protected]> wrote:
> Robatoy wrote:
> > I don't think Texas has an edge on assholes, it's just that the world
> > has been looking at the biggest one for about 8 years. He has done for
> > the Texas image what he has done for anything else he touched. Ruined
> > it.
> > So Texas has some recovering to do; some damage control.
>
> Any that think Texas sucks (or not) based on the fact that 57 states
> voted and he was elected has to be competing for the worlds biggest
> assholes degree!
> --
> Jack
> Using FREE News Server:http://Motzarella.orghttp://jbstein.com

Therein lies the problem. Fraud. Not votes. I mean, 57 states?

You're just being contrary, aintcha Jack?

HeyBub wrote:
> Robatoy wrote:
>> On Mar 2, 9:45 am, Morris Dovey <[email protected]> wrote:
>>> Dave in Houston wrote:
>>>> We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just
>>>> retooled Polish jokes.
>>>
>>> Heh - it's been a while, but at the last really good Polish bash I
>>> went to (pre-glasnost/peristroika, in Chicago) the Poles were
>>> telling Russian jokes, and they pretty much sounded like the Italian
>>> and Irish jokes I'd heard in New York.
>>>
>>> I kinda had to wonder if they didn't start out as Greek, Persian, or
>>> Egyptian jokes...
>>>
>> Indeed, as there are no Jewish jokes.
>
> Wanna bet? Very many comedians are Jewish. Here's 193
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Jewish_comedians
>
They left out Sammy Davis, Jr.

--
Gerald Ross
Cochran, GA

Ambiguity is the first refuge of the wrong.

On Mar 2, 10:50=A0am, "J. Clarke" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Dave in Houston wrote:
> > "Robatoy" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> >news:846dfe52-76be-4255-9341-2780ea155068@c36g2000yqn.googlegroups.com..=
.
> > On Mar 2, 4:03 am, "[email protected]" <[email protected]>
> > wrote:
>
> > I don't think Texas has an edge on assholes, it's just that the world
> > has been looking at the biggest one for about 8 years.
>
> > =A0 =A0SPEW-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W !!!! [coffee running out both
> > fingerholes!]
> > He has done for
> > the Texas image what he has done for anything else he touched. Ruined
> > it.
> > So Texas has some recovering to do; some damage control.
>
> > Then there are a couple who think Canadians are second class citizens,
> > but they haven't been here either.
>
> > As a young lad, we used to tell jokes about Belgians. Then, when I was
> > in Belgium, they told Dutch jokes. I was young at the time, but I 'got
> > it'. People's own farts don't stink.
>
> > =A0 =A0We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just
> > retooled Polish jokes.
>
> A fellow from India told me once that in India they tell Sikh jokes. =A0S=
eems
> to happen everywhere. =A0Wish I could remember one of 'em.
>

For those you need a sikh sense of humour.

On Mar 2, 6:45=A0pm, "HeyBub" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Morris Dovey wrote:
> > HeyBub wrote:
>
> > <snippage of Judean adaptations>
>
> > I think all of those were brought back from either Egypt or Babylon.
>
> > :-)
>
> Alright, enough with the Jewish jokes already.
>
> Two Chinamen meet in a bar. One says to the other: "So, when's your boy's
> bar mitzvah..."

A Jewish grandmother, finally, after pleading, gets to take her
grandson to the beach. Little Sammy suddenly gets swept out to sea by
a rogue wave.
The grandmother, in fear of her daughter's wrath starts promising God
all kinds of things... like giving all her money to charity..anything
as long as God brings back little Sammy. The next big wave drops
little Sammy off, right beside her. She looks at Sammy, then up to the
heavens and says: "Hey! He had a hat!?"

On Mar 2, 9:45=A0am, Morris Dovey <[email protected]> wrote:
> Dave in Houston wrote:
> > =A0 =A0 We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just r=
etooled
> > Polish jokes.
>
> Heh - it's been a while, but at the last really good Polish bash I went
> to (pre-glasnost/peristroika, in Chicago) the Poles were telling Russian
> jokes, and they pretty much sounded like the Italian and Irish jokes I'd
> heard in New York.
>
> I kinda had to wonder if they didn't start out as Greek, Persian, or
> Egyptian jokes...
>
Indeed, as there are no Jewish jokes.

On Mar 2, 4:03=A0am, "[email protected]" <[email protected]>
wrote:


> Most have never been here, and they aren't really sure why, but they
> many seem to have strong, negative, vocal opinions they simply must
> share.

I have been to Texas, but only to Temple, Beaumont, and Dallas. The
Temple crowd was mostly a bunch of arrogant assholes although a few of
the middle management folk were pretty decent people. The Dallas crew
was alright and the Beaumont crowd was a hoot. Most shut up when I
quoted a few oil numbers that we as Canadians produce and export to
the US. And I think it may be an 'oil' thing, because I ran into
similar attitudes in Western Canada (Alberta) as I did in Temple. The
thing that got the best result was the casual mention that we're the
second biggest country in the world, and that Texas was not in first
place. <G>
>
> Strange, too. =A0You would think listening to them that >we Texans<
> would be the judgmental folks with big mouths ready to shit blast
> anyone within range about another's State. =A0Never met more
> opinionated, judgmental folks in my life (except in Dallas) than when
> I left the borders here.
>
I don't think Texas has an edge on assholes, it's just that the world
has been looking at the biggest one for about 8 years. He has done for
the Texas image what he has done for anything else he touched. Ruined
it.
So Texas has some recovering to do; some damage control.

Then there are a couple who think Canadians are second class citizens,
but they haven't been here either.

As a young lad, we used to tell jokes about Belgians. Then, when I was
in Belgium, they told Dutch jokes. I was young at the time, but I 'got
it'. People's own farts don't stink.

------------
The two Belgian bank-robbers had it all figured out. They'd break into
the bank under the cover of darkness, and make their escape by
stealing a bus from the bus depot. After the break-in, they walked
across to the depot. One stayed with the loot, the other went to steal
a bus. That took a loooong time. When he finally came roaring out of
the depot, his partner in crime climbed on board and asked him why it
took so long. Hs buddy explained that most of the busses said
'Antwerp' on them, and they weren't going there.

"LRod" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>
> I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might
> not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also
> paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as
> attractive as you might think.

Come on! Right from the get go, it's obvious that it was intended to be a
joke. Are we all obligated to be so exactly politically correct that the
occasional red neck joke is out of line? And take my word for it, my use of
a wheelchair makes me all too aware of what's appropriate and what isn't.
Most can tell if there's malice behind any statement and there wasn't a
shred of it in Leon's joke.

Robatoy wrote:
>
> I got into a cab in NYC and asked the driver for the time. He snarkily
> said: "You mean NOW??"

I asked a taxi driver in D.C. why there were no gun stores. The conversation
went as follows:

Driver: "Where youz from?"
Me: "Texas"
Driver: "Youz got guns in Texas?"
Me: "In general, or me personally?"
Driver: "Youz personally!"
Me: "Oh. I have just your basic starter-set."
Driver: "Starter set? Whaz that?"
Me: "Uh, short-barrel shotgun, carbine, pistol, and a throw-down. Just your
basic household set. Three were wedding shower gifts."
Driver: "...Wherez you want off!"

Robatoy wrote:
> On Mar 2, 9:45 am, Morris Dovey <[email protected]> wrote:
>> Dave in Houston wrote:
>>> We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just
>>> retooled Polish jokes.
>>
>> Heh - it's been a while, but at the last really good Polish bash I
>> went to (pre-glasnost/peristroika, in Chicago) the Poles were
>> telling Russian jokes, and they pretty much sounded like the Italian
>> and Irish jokes I'd heard in New York.
>>
>> I kinda had to wonder if they didn't start out as Greek, Persian, or
>> Egyptian jokes...
>>
> Indeed, as there are no Jewish jokes.

Wanna bet? Very many comedians are Jewish. Here's 193
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Jewish_comedians

As for Jewish jokes, well:

What's a JAP's (Jewish American Princess) favorite wine? "I wanna go to
Miami!"
How can you tell when a JAP has an orgasm? She drops her nail-file.
---
Rabbi: "Of course you can pray in jeans and a t-shirt. You just can't pray
HERE in jeans and a t-shirt."
---
Man is walking through the Irish countryside when a bandit jumps from the
bushes with a gun. The bandit says: "Be ye Protestant or be ye Catholic?"

The man, thinking quickly, says "Uh, I'm Jewish!"

The bandit grins and says: "Begorrah! I be the luckiest Arab in all of
Ireland!"
---
During a play in an old Yiddish theater, an actor collapses on the stage. A
doctor runs up and kneels beside him. From the back of the balcony a
Yiddisha-momma voice calls out: "Give him an enema!"

The doctor listens to the actor's heart, stands, and shakes his head. From
the back of the balcony: "GIVE HIM AN ENEMA!"

The doctor shouts back: "Madam, the actor is DEAD!"

Same voice from the balcony, but a little more meekly, "So, it can't
hurt..."
---
Two Jews meet at a furniture convention.
Moshie: "So, how's business?"
Arnie: "Good. Last year we had a fire in our Brooklyn warehouse. But we had
insurance. Everthing is fine now."
Moshie: "Same here. Last year we had a hurricane that wiped out our Miami
warehouse, but insurance covered everthing."
Arnie: "...So... how do you have a hurricane?"
---
A rabbi and his Catholic priest friend take a tumble in their golf cart. As
the priest picks himself up, he sees his rabbi friend genuflecting! "Praise
be to Jesus, you've seen the light!" says the priest. "No," responds the
rabbi, "I was just checking my wallet, my watch, my spectacles, and my
testicles."
---
I got a million of 'em.

Robatoy wrote:
> On Mar 3, 11:24 am, "HeyBub" <[email protected]> wrote:
>> Robatoy wrote:
>>> On Mar 3, 7:40 am, Jack Stein <[email protected]> wrote:
>>>> Robatoy wrote:
>>>>> I don't think Texas has an edge on assholes, it's just that the
>>>>> world has been looking at the biggest one for about 8 years. He
>>>>> has done for the Texas image what he has done for anything else he
>>>>> touched. Ruined it.
>>>>> So Texas has some recovering to do; some damage control.
>>
>>>> Any that think Texas sucks (or not) based on the fact that 57
>>>> states voted and he was elected has to be competing for the worlds
>>>> biggest assholes degree!
>>>> --
>>>> Jack
>>>> Using FREE News Server:http://Motzarella.orghttp://jbstein.com
>>
>>> Therein lies the problem. Fraud. Not votes. I mean, 57 states?
>>
>>> You're just being contrary, aintcha Jack?
>>
>> Fifty-seven entities voted in the Democratic Party selection
>> process. There were the fifty states, of course, plus:
>>
>> District of Columbia
>> Guam
>> Puerto Rico
>> American Samoa
>> American Virgin Islands
>> Patagonia and, uh,
>> Either the Hebrides Islands or Uruguay, I forget.
>
> What? No Iraq?

No. The Democrats have an aversion to Iraq. Heck, they no longer even
mention it.

jo4hn wrote:
> HeyBub wrote:
>> Gerald Ross wrote:
>>>>> Indeed, as there are no Jewish jokes.
>>>> Wanna bet? Very many comedians are Jewish. Here's 193
>>>> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Jewish_comedians
>>>>
>>> They left out Sammy Davis, Jr.
>>
>> I don't think he was famous for being a comedian - looks had more to
>> do with it. Same as Dinah Shore, Elizabeth Taylor, or Marilyn Monroe.
>>
>>
> That and no little talents in the areas of singing, dancing, acting,
> welding, road grading, bonsai, down hill skiing, and the like.
> mahalo,
> jo4hn
>
> ps Full disclosure: I may have made up some of that stuff.

No problem. I discovered long ago that it's easier to just make stuff up.
Except that I know Dinah Shore, Liz Taylor and Marily Monroe were Jewish.
I'm not sure, admittedly, about Barak Obama.

Morris Dovey wrote:
> HeyBub wrote:
>
> <snippage of Judean adaptations>
>
> I think all of those were brought back from either Egypt or Babylon.
>
> :-)

So, tell me, how do you have a hurricane in Babylon?

"Leon" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:I%[email protected]...
> Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one
> entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style."
>
> The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin ,
> San Antonio , over to Houston, then down to
> Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland ,
> Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo .
> From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, back to
> Dallas .
> Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read:
> "I'm Gay,"
Quite a few Texans were a long long long time ago.
> "I Love the Dixie Chicks,"
I seldom think about the Dixie Chicks.
> "Boycott Beef,"
Not me coach.
> "I Voted for Obama,"
Lots of Texans did though.
> "George Strait Sucks,"
Who?
> "Hillary in 2012," and
For what?
> "I'm here to confiscate your guns."
Sounds like a good idea to me.
> The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins.
>
Jim

"HeyBub" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Leon wrote:
>>
>> Politically correct, Hell no! unless you live in Texas. ;~)
>> So uh, are there any piney trees out there in the desert? Are you
>> doing any wood working these days?
>
> Uh, Texas does have deserts. And mountains. And grasslands. and, believe
> it or not, trees.
>
> Texas has five national forests* in the "Piney Woods" area of east Texas
> comprising about 635,000 acres of pine trees. These National Forests cover
> an area a little less than 1,000 square miles, but there's plenty of pine
> trees outside these forests - evidently there's a waiting list to get in.
>
> Here's a list of several hundred trees native to Texas, from Acacia to
> Yucca (strange, I didn't know Yucca was a tree, but this list was put
> together by drunk Aggies, so use circumspection...).
>
> http://aggie-horticulture.tamu.edu/ornamentals/natives/indexcommon.htm

Ywah, I know all that, I've lived here almost 55 years. The desert I was
referring to is the one Las Vegas is in.

"Douglas Johnson" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
>>What is your business in Canada? How long are you staying?
>>
>>Do you know what the Canada's policy is, concerning guns being brought in
>>across the border?
>
> I had a similar experience crossing into Canada last year in a car with
> Texas
> plates. It has to be part of their training. The question I found most
> odd was
> "Do you have guns at home?". If I did, they were at home, 1800 miles
> away. Not
> likely to be a danger to peace loving Canadians.
>
> Three months later, I crossed into Canada in a rental car with Washington
> State
> plates. Not a single discussion of guns.
>
> -- Doug

A little profiling there. I didn't think the utopians believed in profiling.
:-)

<[email protected]> wrote in message
news:c6a3dd65-e714-48f7-933b-afc214b6baaa@l16g2000yqo.googlegroups.com...
On Mar 2, 7:59 am, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:

> Why would you apologize?
>
> I did not want to explain that there really was no Easter Bunny. ;~)

Alright now... you keep it up and there will be questions about Santa
Claus as well.

As the kids say, "let's not go there".

Can I get a "yee-haw!"

;^)

Robert


Yeeeee- Hawwwwwwwwww!

"Jimmy Mac" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
On Mar 1, 10:02 am, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one
> entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style."


WOW Leon - you sure nuff know how to start a political war on the
wreck! LOL! Didn't we talk about this when I lived in Texas? MORE
LOL! And to think I missed the wreck that much. Just forgot some of
the fun that goes on here. I'd seen this before and thinks it's as
funny as ever. Having lived in Texas for 21+ years, it gives me the
right to laugh. For those of you who don't thanks for the extra
chuckle. Come on guys - it's a joke. Is it politically correct?
Probably not . . . but then again take a look at Washington and let me
know everything there is "politically correct" as well. Right on Leon
- Paul Harvey passed away . . . keep the tongue-in-chee

Politically correct, Hell no! unless you live in Texas. ;~)
So uh, are there any piney trees out there in the desert? Are you doing any
wood working these days?

"philski" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> About Texans:
>
> In Texas there is a saying that "You can lead a horse to the water. But
> you can't make him drink". This pretty much describes most Texans.
>
> But you know that another Texan disproved this addage. Actually Two Texans
> disproved this proverb. It took one Texan to hold the horse's head in the
> water while the other had to get on the horse's ass and SUCK!!!!
>
> Texans are hardheaded. I know - my dad and mom are from Texas...
>
> Philski (back after a long hiatus from rec.woodworking)


Now that is funny. Leave it up to a Texan to find a solution, perhaps not
one that every one would agree with or do but they get the job done.

"Swingman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> "Dave in Houston" wrote
>
>> We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just retooled
>> Polish jokes.
>
> Yep ... except for the official Aggie hurricane evacuation route out of
> Houston:
>
> 610 Loop.


LOL, Hilda calls that I-610

In all seriousness, the quickest way to get people out of Houston is to
build 3,000,000 rooms 50 miles out side the loop. Then there will actually
be some where to for them go and stay.

On Mar 2, 4:40=A0pm, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
> "Jimmy Mac" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>
> news:[email protected]...
> On Mar 1, 10:02 am, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> > Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do =
one
> > entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style."
>
> WOW Leon - you sure nuff know how to start a political war on the
> wreck! =A0 LOL! =A0Didn't we talk about this when I lived in Texas? =A0 M=
ORE
> LOL! =A0And to think I missed the wreck that much. =A0 Just forgot some o=
f
> the fun that goes on here. =A0I'd seen this before and thinks it's as
> funny as ever. =A0Having lived in Texas for 21+ years, it gives me the
> right to laugh. =A0For those of you who don't thanks for the extra
> chuckle. =A0Come on guys - it's a joke. =A0Is it politically correct?
> Probably not . . . but then again take a look at Washington and let me
> know everything there is "politically correct" as well. =A0Right on Leon
> - Paul Harvey passed away . . . keep the tongue-in-chee
>
> Politically correct, Hell no! unless you live in Texas. =A0;~)
> So uh, are there any piney trees out there in the desert? =A0Are you doin=
g any
> wood working these days?

Piney wood trees are out here on the sides of the mountains. Las
Vegas is in the middle of a soup bowl of mountains. The north side
goes up to Mt. Charleston (11,000' elev) and a beautiful place.
Woodworking? Me? Yeah - can't get it out of my blood - you know that
Leon. LOL! I built my entire back yard furnture setting: 2
adirondack chairs, two tables, long bench (more like a couch)
octagonal dining table (looks like a poker table without the felt) and
another smaller bench for out in the garden area. Oh yeah - a
complete outside kitchen (grill, fridge, countertops) and an outdoor
storage shed that looks more like a mini-condo. The strange part of
all this is that the furniture is all from redwood - no piney wood in
sight! This will probably shock most of the older wreckers! LOL!
Since it rarely rains out here in the desert, you can start a project
and leave it out for a few days and come back with no problem of
moisture, dew, or anything else. Amazing!

Good to see you're still here kicking it Leon!

Jimmy Mac (aka Jums, Jummy, Minwax Max)

[email protected]> wrote in message
> Hmmm.... sounds like a spew from a denizen of the lesser states...

Possibly, the attitude of superiority from Texans? You just did it yourself
by calling other states "lesser", maybe unconsciously, but still done
nevertheless.

> Get a group of Californians ragging on Texas (even though they haven't
> and you can't get a word in edgewise from all the whining.

And, you're still doing it by accusing Californians of whining. If you're
going to voice a complaint about people criticising Texas, then it would be
helpful to your case if you didn't do it by criticising other states at the
same time.

I don't know any Texans much less anybody from the US that I knew was
American, so all I can do is voice how it appears to me as an outside
observer.

On Mar 1, 1:17=A0pm, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:

> Well, I am sorry if it offended you or any one else, I truly am. =A0 It w=
as
> not aimed at any one in general as Texans fall on both sides of liking/
> tolerating and not liking/ not tolerating =A0all of the mentioned. =A0

Why would you apologize? I have seen the hugely sensitive LRod shit
hemorrhage enough verbal diarrhea to fill a five gallon bucket if he
>>>thinks<<< someone has said something that might be questionable
about his plaid demigod.

Besides... you've been in the trades long enough to know the old
addage...

"If they can't take a joke, fuck 'em."

'nuff said.

Robert

"LRod" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On Sun, 1 Mar 2009 12:02:32 -0600, "Leon"
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one
>>entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style."
>>
>>The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin ,
>>San
>>Antonio , over to Houston, then down to
>>Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland ,
>>Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo .
>>From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, back to
>>Dallas .
>>Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read:
>>"I'm Gay,"
>>"I Love the Dixie Chicks,"
>>"Boycott Beef,"
>>"I Voted for Obama,"
>>"George Strait Sucks,"
>>"Hillary in 2012," and
>>"I'm here to confiscate your guns."
>>The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins.
>
> I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might
> not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also
> paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as
> attractive as you might think.
>
> There are two or three here on the wreck I would have expected this
> sort of thing from--you weren't one of them.

What a fucking dickhead ...

--
www.e-woodshop.net
Last update: 10/22/08
KarlC@ (the obvious)

On Mar 2, 7:59=A0am, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:

> Why would you apologize?
>
> I did not want to explain that there really was no Easter Bunny. =A0;~)

Alright now... you keep it up and there will be questions about Santa
Claus as well.

As the kids say, "let's not go there".

Can I get a "yee-haw!"

;^)

Robert

On Mar 1, 11:00=A0pm, "philski" <[email protected]> wrote:

> It took one Texan to hold the horse's head in the
> water while the other had to get on the horse's ass and SUCK!!!!

Hmmm.... sounds like a spew from a denizen of the lesser states...

I think it quite odd in my limited travels that I have had to hear
from all the open minded folks in New Mexico, Nevada, California etc.,
that in their "open mindedness" they have such negative opinions about
Texas. (I have found many Oklamhomans to be just like Texans, so they
don't count.)

Most have never been here, and they aren't really sure why, but they
many seem to have strong, negative, vocal opinions they simply must
share.

Strange, too. You would think listening to them that >we Texans<
would be the judgmental folks with big mouths ready to shit blast
anyone within range about another's State. Never met more
opinionated, judgmental folks in my life (except in Dallas) than when
I left the borders here.

Get a group of Californians ragging on Texas (even though they haven't
personally been here, they all seem to "know" someone from here - and
hearsay seems to qualify as personal experience for many)
and you can't get a word in edgewise from all the whining.

Robert

On Mar 2, 3:17=A0pm, jtpryan <[email protected]> wrote:
> On Mar 1, 2:03=A0pm, LRod <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>
> > On Sun, 1 Mar 2009 12:02:32 -0600, "Leon"
>
> > <[email protected]> wrote:
> > >Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do=
one
> > >entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style."
>
> > >The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin=
, San
> > >Antonio , over to Houston, then down to
> > >Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland=
,
> > >Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo .
> > >From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, bac=
k to
> > >Dallas .
> > >Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read:
> > >"I'm Gay,"
> > >"I Love the Dixie Chicks,"
> > >"Boycott Beef,"
> > >"I Voted for Obama,"
> > >"George Strait Sucks,"
> > >"Hillary in 2012," and
> > >"I'm here to confiscate your guns."
> > >The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins.
>
> > I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might
> > not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also
> > paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as
> > attractive as you might think.
>
> > There are two or three here on the wreck I would have expected this
> > sort of thing from--you weren't one of them.
>
> > --
> > LRod
>
> > Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite
>
> > Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999
>
> >http://www.woodbutcher.nethttp://www.normstools.com
>
> > Proud participant of rec.woodworking since February, 1997
>
> > email addy de-spam-ified due to 1,000 spams per month.
> > If you can't figure out how to use it, I probably wouldn't
> > care to correspond with you anyway.
>
> OMG, take a joke.
>
> Although, I have to say, with the possible exception of Austin, the
> tone of the joke is dead on. And I've been there a lot.
>
> Now, I grew up in NYC, so if I can't take a joke about my home turf I
> would be in big trouble. =A0And NY is, as we all know, the center of the
> universe.
>
> -Jim

I got into a cab in NYC and asked the driver for the time. He snarkily
said: "You mean NOW??"

On Mar 2, 3:47=A0am, "[email protected]" <[email protected]>
wrote:

>
> Besides... you've been in the trades long enough to know the old
> addage...
>
> "If they can't take a joke, fuck 'em."
>
> 'nuff said.
>
> Robert

*GASP!!*

"Robatoy" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:846dfe52-76be-4255-9341-2780ea155068@c36g2000yqn.googlegroups.com...
On Mar 2, 4:03 am, "[email protected]" <[email protected]>
wrote:



I don't think Texas has an edge on assholes, it's just that the world
has been looking at the biggest one for about 8 years.

SPEW-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W !!!! [coffee running out both fingerholes!]

He has done for
the Texas image what he has done for anything else he touched. Ruined
it.
So Texas has some recovering to do; some damage control.

Then there are a couple who think Canadians are second class citizens,
but they haven't been here either.

As a young lad, we used to tell jokes about Belgians. Then, when I was
in Belgium, they told Dutch jokes. I was young at the time, but I 'got
it'. People's own farts don't stink.

We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just retooled
Polish jokes.

Dave in H-town

------------
The two Belgian bank-robbers had it all figured out. They'd break into
the bank under the cover of darkness, and make their escape by
stealing a bus from the bus depot. After the break-in, they walked
across to the depot. One stayed with the loot, the other went to steal
a bus. That took a loooong time. When he finally came roaring out of
the depot, his partner in crime climbed on board and asked him why it
took so long. Hs buddy explained that most of the busses said
'Antwerp' on them, and they weren't going there.

"Swingman" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
>
> "Upscale" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>>
>> "LRod" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>>>
>>> I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might
>>> not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also
>>> paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as
>>> attractive as you might think.
>>
>> Come on! Right from the get go, it's obvious that it was intended to be a
>> joke. Are we all obligated to be so exactly politically correct that the
>> occasional red neck joke is out of line? And take my word for it, my use
>> of
>> a wheelchair makes me all too aware of what's appropriate and what isn't.
>> Most can tell if there's malice behind any statement and there wasn't a
>> shred of it in Leon's joke.
>
> Bingo!!


Ditto, funny with no malice. I'm from Marble Falls, wife is 5th
generation Austinite, she thought it was funny.
The PC crowd.....never mind. If you can't say something nice, say nothing.
You need be able to laugh at yourself.

Dave in Houston wrote:
> "Robatoy" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:846dfe52-76be-4255-9341-2780ea155068@c36g2000yqn.googlegroups.com...
> On Mar 2, 4:03 am, "[email protected]" <[email protected]>
> wrote:
>
>
>
> I don't think Texas has an edge on assholes, it's just that the world
> has been looking at the biggest one for about 8 years.
>
> SPEW-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W !!!! [coffee running out both
> fingerholes!]
> He has done for
> the Texas image what he has done for anything else he touched. Ruined
> it.
> So Texas has some recovering to do; some damage control.
>
> Then there are a couple who think Canadians are second class citizens,
> but they haven't been here either.
>
> As a young lad, we used to tell jokes about Belgians. Then, when I was
> in Belgium, they told Dutch jokes. I was young at the time, but I 'got
> it'. People's own farts don't stink.
>
> We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just
> retooled Polish jokes.

A fellow from India told me once that in India they tell Sikh jokes. Seems
to happen everywhere. Wish I could remember one of 'em.

> Dave in H-town
>
> ------------
> The two Belgian bank-robbers had it all figured out. They'd break into
> the bank under the cover of darkness, and make their escape by
> stealing a bus from the bus depot. After the break-in, they walked
> across to the depot. One stayed with the loot, the other went to steal
> a bus. That took a loooong time. When he finally came roaring out of
> the depot, his partner in crime climbed on board and asked him why it
> took so long. Hs buddy explained that most of the busses said
> 'Antwerp' on them, and they weren't going there.

Robatoy wrote:

> I don't think Texas has an edge on assholes, it's just that the world
> has been looking at the biggest one for about 8 years. He has done for
> the Texas image what he has done for anything else he touched. Ruined
> it.
> So Texas has some recovering to do; some damage control.

Any that think Texas sucks (or not) based on the fact that 57 states
voted and he was elected has to be competing for the worlds biggest
assholes degree!
--
Jack
Using FREE News Server: http://Motzarella.org
http://jbstein.com

"LRod" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might
> not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also
> paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as
> attractive as you might think.
>
> There are two or three here on the wreck I would have expected this
> sort of thing from--you weren't one of them.

Well, I am sorry if it offended you or any one else, I truly am. It was
not aimed at any one in general as Texans fall on both sides of liking/
tolerating and not liking/ not tolerating all of the mentioned. The post
was not politically correct, but Texans are not always politically correct
because we are human, thank goodness.

Morris Dovey wrote:
>>
>> Regardless, I don't care who you are, if you show aggression towards
>> law enforcement you are pretty much asking for it. this is pretty
>> much common sense. It may not be right that they went after her but
>> they are only human, like her.
>
> While agreeing with everything you say, I'm still mindful of the fact
> that it was a 15 year old girl, that there were two trained officers,
> and that it's pretty much unnecessary to pin someone down and THEN
> beat them to maintain physical control.

It's obvious you've never been a law enforcement officer! It is ever so much
easier to beat someone when they are pinned down. For several reasons, but
mainly because it's harder for them to escape. If someone is standing when
you whack them with your flashlight, they'll often just run away and, well,
there you are.

If you study these videos, from Rodney King up to this girl, you'll note
that the beatee is almost always on the ground.

It's your basic police training kicking in (pardon the pun).

>
> Sometimes we're obliged to prove our humanity by exercising adult
> judgment and self-control, /especially/ in situations like that shown.
>

It's obvious you've never been a law enforcement officer! As a cop, you
check your humanity at the door of the precinct house. The lion tamer
doesn't deliver Valentine's day chocolates to the big cats, the snake
charmer doesn't engage in meaningful dialog with the Cobra. The plumber
usually puts on hip boots when down in the sludge pit and a good description
for a cop-job is "solid waste disposal." You've got to treat these non-human
hazards in an appropriate way or they will kill you.

Don't believe me? Check this: Teenagers (well, up to about 20) kill more
people than all other age groups combined.

Leon wrote:
>
> Politically correct, Hell no! unless you live in Texas. ;~)
> So uh, are there any piney trees out there in the desert? Are you
> doing any wood working these days?

Uh, Texas does have deserts. And mountains. And grasslands. and, believe it
or not, trees.

Texas has five national forests* in the "Piney Woods" area of east Texas
comprising about 635,000 acres of pine trees. These National Forests cover
an area a little less than 1,000 square miles, but there's plenty of pine
trees outside these forests - evidently there's a waiting list to get in.

Here's a list of several hundred trees native to Texas, from Acacia to Yucca
(strange, I didn't know Yucca was a tree, but this list was put together by
drunk Aggies, so use circumspection...).

http://aggie-horticulture.tamu.edu/ornamentals/natives/indexcommon.htm

------
* Angelina, Caddo, Davy Crockett (PBUH), Sabine, Sam Houston (PBUH).

HeyBub wrote:
> Gerald Ross wrote:
>>>> Indeed, as there are no Jewish jokes.
>>> Wanna bet? Very many comedians are Jewish. Here's 193
>>> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Jewish_comedians
>>>
>> They left out Sammy Davis, Jr.
>
> I don't think he was famous for being a comedian - looks had more to do with
> it. Same as Dinah Shore, Elizabeth Taylor, or Marilyn Monroe.
>
>
That and no little talents in the areas of singing, dancing, acting,
welding, road grading, bonsai, down hill skiing, and the like.
mahalo,
jo4hn

ps Full disclosure: I may have made up some of that stuff.

Robatoy wrote:
> On Mar 3, 7:40 am, Jack Stein <[email protected]> wrote:
>> Robatoy wrote:
>>> I don't think Texas has an edge on assholes, it's just that the
>>> world has been looking at the biggest one for about 8 years. He has
>>> done for the Texas image what he has done for anything else he
>>> touched. Ruined it.
>>> So Texas has some recovering to do; some damage control.
>>
>> Any that think Texas sucks (or not) based on the fact that 57 states
>> voted and he was elected has to be competing for the worlds biggest
>> assholes degree!
>> --
>> Jack
>> Using FREE News Server:http://Motzarella.orghttp://jbstein.com
>
> Therein lies the problem. Fraud. Not votes. I mean, 57 states?
>
> You're just being contrary, aintcha Jack?

Fifty-seven entities voted in the Democratic Party selection process. There
were the fifty states, of course, plus:

District of Columbia
Guam
Puerto Rico
American Samoa
American Virgin Islands
Patagonia and, uh,
Either the Hebrides Islands or Uruguay, I forget.

On Sun, 1 Mar 2009 12:02:32 -0600, "Leon"
<[email protected]> wrote:

>Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one
>entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style."
>
>The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin , San
>Antonio , over to Houston, then down to
>Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland ,
>Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo .
>From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, back to
>Dallas .
>Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read:
>"I'm Gay,"
>"I Love the Dixie Chicks,"
>"Boycott Beef,"
>"I Voted for Obama,"
>"George Strait Sucks,"
>"Hillary in 2012," and
>"I'm here to confiscate your guns."
>The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins.

I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might
not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also
paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as
attractive as you might think.

There are two or three here on the wreck I would have expected this
sort of thing from--you weren't one of them.



--
LRod

Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite

Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999

http://www.woodbutcher.net
http://www.normstools.com

Proud participant of rec.woodworking since February, 1997

email addy de-spam-ified due to 1,000 spams per month.
If you can't figure out how to use it, I probably wouldn't
care to correspond with you anyway.

Douglas Johnson wrote:
> "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>> The border guard must have been in his early 20's and was very wise,
>> ;~) to us Texans, especially the ones driving pick up trucks.
>> When we went through the border crossing my wife and her aunt just
>> scooted on through. My ten year son and I were stopped and
>> "questioned". LOL
>>
>> What is your business in Canada? How long are you staying?
>>
>> Do you know what the Canada's policy is, concerning guns being
>> brought in across the border?
>
> I had a similar experience crossing into Canada last year in a car
> with Texas plates. It has to be part of their training. The
> question I found most odd was "Do you have guns at home?". If I did,
> they were at home, 1800 miles away. Not likely to be a danger to
> peace loving Canadians.
>
> Three months later, I crossed into Canada in a rental car with
> Washington State plates. Not a single discussion of guns.
>

I've found that when asked by Canadian border authorities if I brought any
guns from Texas with me, that simply saying: "No, I mailed them ahead to my
hotel" is good for a chuckle or two.

"Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:


>The border guard must have been in his early 20's and was very wise, ;~) to
>us Texans, especially the ones driving pick up trucks.
>When we went through the border crossing my wife and her aunt just scooted
>on through. My ten year son and I were stopped and "questioned". LOL
>
>What is your business in Canada? How long are you staying?
>
>Do you know what the Canada's policy is, concerning guns being brought in
>across the border?

I had a similar experience crossing into Canada last year in a car with Texas
plates. It has to be part of their training. The question I found most odd was
"Do you have guns at home?". If I did, they were at home, 1800 miles away. Not
likely to be a danger to peace loving Canadians.

Three months later, I crossed into Canada in a rental car with Washington State
plates. Not a single discussion of guns.

-- Doug

"Upscale" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "LRod" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>>
>> I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might
>> not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also
>> paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as
>> attractive as you might think.
>
> Come on! Right from the get go, it's obvious that it was intended to be a
> joke. Are we all obligated to be so exactly politically correct that the
> occasional red neck joke is out of line? And take my word for it, my use
> of
> a wheelchair makes me all too aware of what's appropriate and what isn't.
> Most can tell if there's malice behind any statement and there wasn't a
> shred of it in Leon's joke.

Bingo!!

Consider the source ... this was from the self styled "emergency management
expert" who loudly denigrated the "Bubba's in bass boats" who were actually
saving lives in Louisiana during the aftermath of Katrina .. something his
"trained experts" proved abysmally incapable of doing.

... par for the course.


--
www.e-woodshop.net
Last update: 10/22/08
KarlC@ (the obvious)

LRod wrote:
> On Sun, 1 Mar 2009 12:02:32 -0600, "Leon"
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one
>> entitled, "Survivor, Texas-Style."
>>
>> The contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , Austin , San
>> Antonio , over to Houston, then down to
>> Brownsville . They will then proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Midland ,
>> Odessa , Lubbock , and Amarillo .
>>From there they will go on to Abilene , Fort Worth , and, finally, back to
>> Dallas .
>> Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read:
>> "I'm Gay,"
>> "I Love the Dixie Chicks,"
>> "Boycott Beef,"
>> "I Voted for Obama,"
>> "George Strait Sucks,"
>> "Hillary in 2012," and
>> "I'm here to confiscate your guns."
>> The first one to make it back to Dallas alive, wins.
>
> I think that post says things about your fellow Texans that you might
> not have intended and many of whom might not appreciate. It also
> paints with quite a broad brush a picture of your state that isn't as
> attractive as you might think.
>
> There are two or three here on the wreck I would have expected this
> sort of thing from--you weren't one of them.

What the hell are you talking about?

--
See Nad. See Nad go. Go Nad!
To reply, eat the taco.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bbqboyee/

"Dave in Houston" wrote

> We tell Aggie jokes [sorry, Swing] but many of those are just retooled
> Polish jokes.

Yep ... except for the official Aggie hurricane evacuation route out of
Houston:

610 Loop.

--
www.e-woodshop.net
Last update: 10/22/08
KarlC@ (the obvious)

Morris Dovey wrote:
> HeyBub wrote:
>
> <snippage of Judean adaptations>
>
> I think all of those were brought back from either Egypt or Babylon.
>
> :-)

Alright, enough with the Jewish jokes already.

Two Chinamen meet in a bar. One says to the other: "So, when's your boy's
bar mitzvah..."

Leon wrote:
> "Upscale" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> [email protected]> wrote in message
>>> Hmmm.... sounds like a spew from a denizen of the lesser states...
>> Possibly, the attitude of superiority from Texans? You just did it
>> yourself
>> by calling other states "lesser", maybe unconsciously, but still done
>> nevertheless.
>
> Good observation but all but one state are smaller than Texas. LOL

I heard that if Texans did not stop bragging about how big their state
is that the Alaskans are going to cut their state into two pieces and
make Texas the third largest state. ;-)


Dan

"Robatoy" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:1441ff81-986c-42a1-858d-dfb52dfc2666@p11g2000yqe.googlegroups.com...
On Mar 1, 4:12 pm, charlieb <[email protected]> wrote:
> So I guess I'd better remove my
> "Nuke The Terrorist Gay Baby Whales"
> bumper sticker?
>
> Lighten up. Loosen up.
>
> There are plenty of actually offensive
> things going on to cope with - or rant
> and rail against.

like:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7917295.stm

Oops.. also in Texas.


Are your referring to the video of the cops beating up the girl in the jail
cell? That was in Washington state, closer to Canada than Texas. ;!)

Regardless, I don't care who you are, if you show aggression towards law
enforcement you are pretty much asking for it. this is pretty much common
sense. It may not be right that they went after her but they are only
human, like her.

jtpryan wrote:
>
> OMG, take a joke.
>
> Although, I have to say, with the possible exception of Austin, the
> tone of the joke is dead on. And I've been there a lot.
>
> Now, I grew up in NYC, so if I can't take a joke about my home turf I
> would be in big trouble. And NY is, as we all know, the center of the
> universe.
>

Bumper sticker:
"South Austin: We're all here because we're not all there"

"Upscale" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> [email protected]> wrote in message
>> Hmmm.... sounds like a spew from a denizen of the lesser states...
>
> Possibly, the attitude of superiority from Texans? You just did it
> yourself
> by calling other states "lesser", maybe unconsciously, but still done
> nevertheless.

Good observation but all but one state are smaller than Texas. LOL

>
> I don't know any Texans much less anybody from the US that I knew was
> American, so all I can do is voice how it appears to me as an outside
> observer.
>
>

A funny observation, my wife, son and I visited her relatives in Burlington,
Ontario in 1998. We went in our Pickup badged with our Texas plates. We
first visited her aunt in Buffalo, not the one in Texas, proceeding from
there she drove her car with my wife on board to lead to us to her sisters
house in Burlington. The experience I had and the experience the border
guard had should have been filmed and shown on one of the Funniest Video
shows on TV.
The border guard must have been in his early 20's and was very wise, ;~) to
us Texans, especially the ones driving pick up trucks.
When we went through the border crossing my wife and her aunt just scooted
on through. My ten year son and I were stopped and "questioned". LOL

What is your business in Canada? How long are you staying?

Do you know what the Canada's policy is, concerning guns being brought in
across the border?
My comment was, YOU don't like guns and don't allow them. That apparently
was the wrong answer. The question was asked again and I kinda snickered
out loud. The result from that response was a memorized quote about a
specific law concerning gun trafficking across the border. I nodded my head
and the border guard then asked If I was bringing in a gun or guns. I
responded, No, with a smile. I was hiding sumthin and he could smell the
fear! He repeated the memorized quote again and asked if I was bringing in
a gun or guns again. I was finally started to realize this young feller was
serious or trying to be because he would almost always grin at my answers.
Apparently I was not giving the answers that the training course had taught
or my Texas accent was throwing him.

Finally he said don't get caught with guns here in Canada and told me to
proceed to the covered parking area up ahead on the left. I said thank you
and proceeded into Canada. As I approached the covered area I saw uniformed
personnel disassembling vehicles and spreading their parts out all over the
grounds. I veered to the right, caught up with my wife and aunt and chose
not to go to the covered parking area to have my new truck disassembled. No
police chase or arrests occurred involving me and we went on our merry way.

Visiting the aunt in Burlington was fun and uneventful but it was later
revealed that her daughter who came to also visit and meet the "Texas
relatives" commented, "they were OK, not strange or what at I expected.
She was a hoot, eh! We thoroughly enjoyed the visit and put to rest all the
preconceived notions about their relatives from Texas.

Gerald Ross wrote:
>>> Indeed, as there are no Jewish jokes.
>>
>> Wanna bet? Very many comedians are Jewish. Here's 193
>> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Jewish_comedians
>>
> They left out Sammy Davis, Jr.

I don't think he was famous for being a comedian - looks had more to do with
it. Same as Dinah Shore, Elizabeth Taylor, or Marilyn Monroe.