Rc

Robatoy

27/02/2011 10:00 PM

OT: Light bulb

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
.
.
.
.
Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
brightly colored machine tools.


This topic has 32 replies

Rc

Robatoy

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

02/03/2011 5:11 AM

On Mar 2, 1:34=A0am, "Lobby Dosser" <[email protected]> wrote:
> "Larry Jaques" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>
> news:[email protected]...
>
>
>
>
>
> > On Tue, 1 Mar 2011 08:16:33 -0800 (PST), Robatoy
> > <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> >>On Mar 1, 9:57 am, Larry Jaques <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> >>> Q: What happens when you play a country and western record backwards?
>
> >>> A: Y'getcher girlfriend back. Y'getcher pickup truck back. Y'getcher
> >>> hounddog back. Y'getcher horse back. And y'getcher six-gun back.
> >>> (C&W's all about loss, pard.)
>
> >>DO try and stay on subject, C-less, please. We are talking about light
> >>bulbs here.
> >>Besides, playing records backwards can fark up your needle.
>
> >>*smirk*
>
> >>"turn me on deadman...turn me on deadman...." <fade out>
>
> >>How many JAPs (Jewish American Princesses) does it take to change a
> >>lightbulb?
>
> >>Two.... One to mix the martinis, the other to call dad.
>
> > Q: What did the JAP say when her boyfriend was making love to her?
> > A: Beige. =A0Yes, I'll paint the ceiling beige.
>
> > Q: How do you know when a JAP is having an orgasm?
> > A: She drops her nail file.
>
> > ...in the light bulb.
>
> What's the difference between a JAP and a bowl of Jell-O?
> Jell-O moves when you eat it./

Q: The difference between a JAP and a bowling ball?

A: If you absolutely had to, you could eat a bowling ball.

Rc

Robatoy

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

01/03/2011 5:19 AM

On Mar 1, 1:17=A0am, RicodJour <[email protected]> wrote:
> How many teamsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
> .
> .
> .
> .
> .
> 12...you got a problem with that?
>
> R

LOL.... I heard that one as lesbians:

Two!.. You got a problem with that??

----

Teamster one is funny on more levels.

Rc

Robatoy

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

01/03/2011 8:16 AM

On Mar 1, 9:57=A0am, Larry Jaques <[email protected]> wrote:

>
> Q: What happens when you play a country and western record backwards?
>
> A: Y'getcher girlfriend back. Y'getcher pickup truck back. Y'getcher
> hounddog back. Y'getcher horse back. And y'getcher six-gun back.
> (C&W's all about loss, pard.)

DO try and stay on subject, C-less, please. We are talking about light
bulbs here.
Besides, playing records backwards can fark up your needle.

*smirk*

"turn me on deadman...turn me on deadman...." <fade out>

How many JAPs (Jewish American Princesses) does it take to change a
lightbulb?

Two.... One to mix the martinis, the other to call dad.

bb

basilisk

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

01/03/2011 6:07 AM

On Mon, 28 Feb 2011 19:03:16 -0800 (PST), kimosabe wrote:

> How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>
>
>
> Two.
> One to screw it in
> and one to not screw it in.

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, the trick is getting them inside.

basilisk

DB

Dave Balderstone

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

28/02/2011 5:55 PM

In article <[email protected]>, Larry Jaques
<[email protected]> wrote:

> On Sun, 27 Feb 2011 22:00:29 -0800 (PST), Robatoy
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> >How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
> >.
> >.
> >.
> >.
> >Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
> >brightly colored machine tools.
>
> Hey, I posted that one last week. Thief!

Good artists borrow. Great artists steal. For everyone else, there's
copyright...

Rr

RonB

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

28/02/2011 6:59 AM

On Feb 28, 12:00=A0am, Robatoy <[email protected]> wrote:
> How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
> .
> .
> .
> .
> Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
> brightly colored machine tools.

OMG. What kind of glue are you using today :o)

Consider a respirator!

RonB

Rc

Robatoy

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

01/03/2011 5:20 AM

On Feb 28, 10:03=A0pm, kimosabe <[email protected]> wrote:
> How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>
> Two.
> One to screw it in
> and one to not screw it in.

How many Country & Western singer does it take to screw in a
lightbulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, one to sing about how he's going to miss
the old one.

LJ

Larry Jaques

in reply to Robatoy on 01/03/2011 5:20 AM

02/03/2011 4:05 PM

On Wed, 02 Mar 2011 15:37:43 -0600, Markem <[email protected]>
wrote:

>On Wed, 02 Mar 2011 07:36:26 -0800, Larry Jaques
><[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>Dayum, I wish I could still handle those #10 heat Thai dinners.
>>I miss the massive facial sweating from a nice, fresh hot pepper.
>>One of the places, Thai, had a dual pepper heat chart. 1-10 for the
>>American side, then on top of that 1-20 on the Thai side. The hottest
>>Thai pepper made Scotch Bonnets (Habañero) feel like ice cream. I had
>>a numb tongue for a week after a wee taste only once. (It might have
>>been a divot in the tongue instead of numbness. That stuff is worse
>>than nitric acid.)
>
>You can find any pepper you want
>
>http://www.penzeys.com/

<sigh> I've since discovered that I'm allergic to the Nightshade
family of plants (tomatoes, potatoes, chilis, peppers, eggplant) and
have mostly given them up. Key phrase: wish I could still handle 'em.

After 25 years, I found that I can now tolerate potatoes and eggplant
once more, but peppers and tomatoes really kill me. If I ate a whole
one of either, I'd feel like a 90 y/o man the next day, barely able to
get out of my bed. Joints and muscles would be chock full of lactic
acid and I wouldn't want to move. So, I mostly avoid them. But
thanks for the sourcing. Someone else might benefit from the link.

--
The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surroundings.
-- Okakura Kakuzo

RA

Robert Allison

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

28/02/2011 10:58 PM

On 2/28/2011 12:00 AM, Robatoy wrote:
> How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
> .
> .
> .
> .
> Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
> brightly colored machine tools.

How many psychiatrists to change a light bulb?


Just one, but the bulb has to really, really want to change.

--
Robert Allison
New Braunfels, TX

JW

Just Wondering

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

01/03/2011 1:34 PM

On 3/1/2011 7:57 AM, Larry Jaques wrote:
> On Tue, 1 Mar 2011 05:20:59 -0800 (PST), Robatoy
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> On Feb 28, 10:03 pm, kimosabe<[email protected]> wrote:
>>> How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>>>
>>> Two.
>>> One to screw it in
>>> and one to not screw it in.
>>
>> How many Country& Western singer does it take to screw in a
>> lightbulb?
>>
>> Two. One to change the bulb, one to sing about how he's going to miss
>> the old one.
>
> Q: What happens when you play a country and western record backwards?
>
> A: Y'getcher girlfriend back. Y'getcher pickup truck back. Y'getcher
> hounddog back. Y'getcher horse back. And y'getcher six-gun back.
> (C&W's all about loss, pard.)
>
That's not all you get back.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEH6LNuKq-g
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F85UTbBrD8M

BACKWARDS by Rascal Flatts

I was sitting on a wooden stool
In a barbecue joint in Tennessee
When this old boy walked in
And he sat right down next to me
I could tell he'd been through some hard times
There were tear stains on his old shirt
And he said you wanna know what you get
When you play a country song backwards

You get your house back
You get your dog back
You get your best friend Jack back
You get your truck back
You get your hair back
Ya get your first and second wives back
Your front porch swing
Your pretty little thing
Your bling bling bling and a diamond ring
Your get your farm and the barn and the boat and the Harley
First night in jail with Charlie
Sounds a little crazy, a little scattered and absurd
But that's what you get when you play a country song backwards
Well I never heard it said quite like that
It hit me in the face cause that's where I'm at
I almost fell flat out on the floor
He said wait a minute that's not all there's even more

You get your mind back
you get your nerves back
Your achey breaky heart back
You get your pride back
You get your life back
You get your first real love back
You get your big screen TV, a DVD and a washing machine
You get the pond and the lawn
And the rake and the mower
You go back where you don't know her
It sounds a little crazy a little scattered and absurd
But that's what you get
When you play a country song backwards
Oh play that song
Woo!!!

We sat there and talked about how it would be
If we could turn it all around and and change this C-R-A-P

You get your house back
You get your dog back
You get your best friend Jack back
You get your truck back
You get your hair back
Ya get your first and second wives back
Your front porch swing
Your pretty little thing
Your bling bling bling and a diamond ring
Your get your farm and the barn and the boat and the Harley
First night in jail with Charlie
You get your mind back
you get your nerves back
Your achey breaky heart back
You get your pride back
You get your life back
You get your first real love back
You get your big screen TV, a DVD and a washing machine
You get the pond and the lawn
And the rake and the mower
You go back where you don't know her
It sounds a little crazy a little scattered and absurd
But that's what you get
When you play a country song backwards

LH

"Lew Hodgett"

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

01/03/2011 11:07 PM


"Lobby Dosser" wrote:
>
> What's the difference between a JAP and a bowl of Jell-O?
> Jell-O moves when you eat it./
-------------------------------
The voice of experience?

Lew

Hh

"HeyBub"

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

02/03/2011 7:38 AM

Lobby Dosser wrote:

> What's the difference between a JAP and a bowl of Jell-O?
> Jell-O moves when you eat it./

Conversely...

Q: What's the difference between a JAP and poverty?
A: Poverty sucks!

kk

kimosabe

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

28/02/2011 7:03 PM

How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?



Two.
One to screw it in
and one to not screw it in.

JW

Just Wondering

in reply to kimosabe on 28/02/2011 7:03 PM

02/03/2011 5:23 PM

On 3/2/2011 2:37 PM, Markem wrote:
> On Wed, 02 Mar 2011 07:36:26 -0800, Larry Jaques
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>> Dayum, I wish I could still handle those #10 heat Thai dinners.
>> I miss the massive facial sweating from a nice, fresh hot pepper.
>
> You can find any pepper you want
>
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Sf6uzhRbOs

JC

"J. Clarke"

in reply to kimosabe on 28/02/2011 7:03 PM

05/03/2011 2:20 PM

In article <[email protected]>, markem618
@hotmail.com says...
>
> On Wed, 02 Mar 2011 07:36:26 -0800, Larry Jaques
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> >Dayum, I wish I could still handle those #10 heat Thai dinners.
> >I miss the massive facial sweating from a nice, fresh hot pepper.
> >One of the places, Thai, had a dual pepper heat chart. 1-10 for the
> >American side, then on top of that 1-20 on the Thai side. The hottest
> >Thai pepper made Scotch Bonnets (Habañero) feel like ice cream. I had
> >a numb tongue for a week after a wee taste only once. (It might have
> >been a divot in the tongue instead of numbness. That stuff is worse
> >than nitric acid.)
>
>
> You can find any pepper you want
>
> http://www.penzeys.com/

While Penzeys has a wide range of peppers, they certainly do not cover
the entire spectrum of variations.

Mm

Markem

in reply to kimosabe on 28/02/2011 7:03 PM

02/03/2011 3:37 PM

On Wed, 02 Mar 2011 07:36:26 -0800, Larry Jaques
<[email protected]> wrote:

>Dayum, I wish I could still handle those #10 heat Thai dinners.
>I miss the massive facial sweating from a nice, fresh hot pepper.
>One of the places, Thai, had a dual pepper heat chart. 1-10 for the
>American side, then on top of that 1-20 on the Thai side. The hottest
>Thai pepper made Scotch Bonnets (Habañero) feel like ice cream. I had
>a numb tongue for a week after a wee taste only once. (It might have
>been a divot in the tongue instead of numbness. That stuff is worse
>than nitric acid.)


You can find any pepper you want

http://www.penzeys.com/

Mark

SB

Steve Barker

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

01/03/2011 12:14 PM

On 3/1/2011 10:16 AM, Robatoy wrote:
> On Mar 1, 9:57 am, Larry Jaques<[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>
>> Q: What happens when you play a country and western record backwards?
>>
>> A: Y'getcher girlfriend back. Y'getcher pickup truck back. Y'getcher
>> hounddog back. Y'getcher horse back. And y'getcher six-gun back.
>> (C&W's all about loss, pard.)
>
> DO try and stay on subject, C-less, please. We are talking about light
> bulbs here.
> Besides, playing records backwards can fark up your needle.
>
> *smirk*
>
> "turn me on deadman...turn me on deadman...."<fade out>
>
> How many JAPs (Jewish American Princesses) does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
>
> Two.... One to mix the martinis, the other to call dad.
>
>

THAT's funny right there! I don't care who you are.

--
Steve Barker
remove the "not" from my address to email

JJ

"Josepi"

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

01/03/2011 12:23 PM

Only if they are **FULL** Jews and not just

"Jewish"



"basilisk" wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
uh-oh, here comes the PC sensitivity traing crowd.



On Tue, 1 Mar 2011 08:16:33 -0800 (PST), Robatoy wrote:
Two.... One to mix the martinis, the other to call dad.



How many JAPs (Jewish American Princesses) does it take to change a
lightbulb?

Rr

RicodJour

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

28/02/2011 10:17 PM

How many teamsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
.
.
.
.
.
12...you got a problem with that?

R

Rc

Robatoy

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

28/02/2011 11:24 AM

On Feb 28, 12:09=A0pm, Larry Jaques <[email protected]>
wrote:
> On Sun, 27 Feb 2011 22:00:29 -0800 (PST), Robatoy
>
> <[email protected]> wrote:
> >How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
> >.
> >.
> >.
> >.
> >Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
> >brightly colored machine tools.
>
> Hey, I posted that one last week. =A0Thief!
>
> --
> Invest in America: Buy a CONgresscritter today!

Oh yeah??? Where? Huh? Huh? CITE!!
:-)

ZY

Zz Yzx

in reply to Robatoy on 28/02/2011 11:24 AM

02/03/2011 2:43 PM

>> uh-oh, here comes the PC sensitivity traing crowd.
>>
>> basilisk
>
>training

Don't fret. We all read (and write) typo fluently here.

Turst me.

-Zz

LD

"Lobby Dosser"

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

27/02/2011 11:53 PM

"Robatoy" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:ffedba34-72f6-4664-8727-62b09994111c@v31g2000vbs.googlegroups.com...
> How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
> .
> .
> .
> .
> Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
> brightly colored machine tools.


Speaking of brightly colored tools, any JOAT sightings lately?

LD

"Lobby Dosser"

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

01/03/2011 10:34 PM

"Larry Jaques" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On Tue, 1 Mar 2011 08:16:33 -0800 (PST), Robatoy
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>On Mar 1, 9:57 am, Larry Jaques <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> Q: What happens when you play a country and western record backwards?
>>>
>>> A: Y'getcher girlfriend back. Y'getcher pickup truck back. Y'getcher
>>> hounddog back. Y'getcher horse back. And y'getcher six-gun back.
>>> (C&W's all about loss, pard.)
>>
>>DO try and stay on subject, C-less, please. We are talking about light
>>bulbs here.
>>Besides, playing records backwards can fark up your needle.
>>
>>*smirk*
>>
>>"turn me on deadman...turn me on deadman...." <fade out>
>>
>>How many JAPs (Jewish American Princesses) does it take to change a
>>lightbulb?
>>
>>Two.... One to mix the martinis, the other to call dad.
>
> Q: What did the JAP say when her boyfriend was making love to her?
> A: Beige. Yes, I'll paint the ceiling beige.
>
> Q: How do you know when a JAP is having an orgasm?
> A: She drops her nail file.
>
> ...in the light bulb.

What's the difference between a JAP and a bowl of Jell-O?
Jell-O moves when you eat it./

LJ

Larry Jaques

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

28/02/2011 6:34 PM

On Mon, 28 Feb 2011 11:24:29 -0800 (PST), Robatoy
<[email protected]> wrote:

>On Feb 28, 12:09 pm, Larry Jaques <[email protected]>
>wrote:
>> On Sun, 27 Feb 2011 22:00:29 -0800 (PST), Robatoy
>>
>> <[email protected]> wrote:
>> >How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >.
>> >Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
>> >brightly colored machine tools.
>>
>> Hey, I posted that one last week.  Thief!
>>
>
>Oh yeah??? Where? Huh? Huh? CITE!!
>:-)

I made a mistake. It was only a week ago when I wrote that. And it was
on our sister group, RCM. Close, eh? http://tinyurl.com/662jcfo

--
Invest in America: Buy a CONgresscritter today!

Rc

Robatoy

in reply to Larry Jaques on 28/02/2011 6:34 PM

02/03/2011 8:56 AM

On Mar 2, 10:36=A0am, Larry Jaques <[email protected]>
wrote:

>
> I once was at a JAP friend's house for dinner. A dozen of us LoCalers
> gathered for Thai dinners often, but she wanted us to come over for
> Thanksgiving. Strangely, she didn't invite me over again after I
> gently opined that the Gefilte fish tasted like a fishy version of
> SPAM.
>

Got to love that gefilte fish...blech, puke, retch. Not for me.
I did get introduced to lots of good jewish/yiddish food by two of my
business partners, back in the 80's.
Sunday morning, Pickle Barrel in Toronto. Tried it all, loved most.
I'm still totally addicted to Moe Panzer's Montreal Smoked meat
sammiches on rye.

I was 'educated' in no uncertain terms about Thai food by my oldest
daughter. After one trip to Thailand, she took me for authentic Thai
food in Toronto...not that commercial crap passed off as Thai. Got to
love that.

> Dayum, I wish I could still handle those #10 heat Thai dinners.

The heat thing is okay, but if the heat takes away the joy of eating,
I'll pass. I was practically raised on Indonesian food, so 'heat'
wasn't anything I though about until some of drinking buddies got into
the Volcano/Suicide Buffalo wings. You keep that shit. WTF is the fun
there? Too hot, greasy, overpriced, tasteless. What is the point?
Typical drunk food.. like eel pie.

Now some Szechuan chili paste on their types of dishes I can handle.
Hot, sure, but tasty too.
... and there's always a jar of Sambal Oelek nearby our dinner table.

Back to JAP humour:

One of my favourite jewish lines(joke) is:
Mother: "Sammy, do up your coat. You mother is getting cold."



LJ

Larry Jaques

in reply to Larry Jaques on 28/02/2011 6:34 PM

02/03/2011 7:36 AM

On Wed, 2 Mar 2011 05:11:20 -0800 (PST), Robatoy
<[email protected]> wrote:

>On Mar 2, 1:34 am, "Lobby Dosser" <[email protected]> wrote:
>> "Larry Jaques" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>>
>> news:[email protected]...
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> > On Tue, 1 Mar 2011 08:16:33 -0800 (PST), Robatoy
>> > <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>> >>On Mar 1, 9:57 am, Larry Jaques <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>> >>> Q: What happens when you play a country and western record backwards?
>>
>> >>> A: Y'getcher girlfriend back. Y'getcher pickup truck back. Y'getcher
>> >>> hounddog back. Y'getcher horse back. And y'getcher six-gun back.
>> >>> (C&W's all about loss, pard.)
>>
>> >>DO try and stay on subject, C-less, please. We are talking about light
>> >>bulbs here.
>> >>Besides, playing records backwards can fark up your needle.
>>
>> >>*smirk*
>>
>> >>"turn me on deadman...turn me on deadman...." <fade out>
>>
>> >>How many JAPs (Jewish American Princesses) does it take to change a
>> >>lightbulb?
>>
>> >>Two.... One to mix the martinis, the other to call dad.
>>
>> > Q: What did the JAP say when her boyfriend was making love to her?
>> > A: Beige.  Yes, I'll paint the ceiling beige.
>>
>> > Q: How do you know when a JAP is having an orgasm?
>> > A: She drops her nail file.
>>
>> > ...in the light bulb.
>>
>> What's the difference between a JAP and a bowl of Jell-O?
>> Jell-O moves when you eat it./
>
>Q: The difference between a JAP and a bowling ball?
>
>A: If you absolutely had to, you could eat a bowling ball.

I once was at a JAP friend's house for dinner. A dozen of us LoCalers
gathered for Thai dinners often, but she wanted us to come over for
Thanksgiving. Strangely, she didn't invite me over again after I
gently opined that the Gefilte fish tasted like a fishy version of
SPAM.

Dayum, I wish I could still handle those #10 heat Thai dinners.
I miss the massive facial sweating from a nice, fresh hot pepper.
One of the places, Thai, had a dual pepper heat chart. 1-10 for the
American side, then on top of that 1-20 on the Thai side. The hottest
Thai pepper made Scotch Bonnets (Habañero) feel like ice cream. I had
a numb tongue for a week after a wee taste only once. (It might have
been a divot in the tongue instead of numbness. That stuff is worse
than nitric acid.)

--
That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something
you've understood all your life, but in a new way.
-- Doris Lessing

bb

basilisk

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

01/03/2011 11:22 AM

On Tue, 1 Mar 2011 11:20:20 -0600, basilisk wrote:

> On Tue, 1 Mar 2011 08:16:33 -0800 (PST), Robatoy wrote:
>
>> On Mar 1, 9:57 am, Larry Jaques <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> Q: What happens when you play a country and western record backwards?
>>>
>>> A: Y'getcher girlfriend back. Y'getcher pickup truck back. Y'getcher
>>> hounddog back. Y'getcher horse back. And y'getcher six-gun back.
>>> (C&W's all about loss, pard.)
>>
>> DO try and stay on subject, C-less, please. We are talking about light
>> bulbs here.
>> Besides, playing records backwards can fark up your needle.
>>
>> *smirk*
>>
>> "turn me on deadman...turn me on deadman...." <fade out>
>>
>> How many JAPs (Jewish American Princesses) does it take to change a
>> lightbulb?
>>
>> Two.... One to mix the martinis, the other to call dad.
>
> uh-oh, here comes the PC sensitivity traing crowd.
>
> basilisk

training

LJ

Larry Jaques

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

01/03/2011 6:44 PM

On Tue, 1 Mar 2011 08:16:33 -0800 (PST), Robatoy
<[email protected]> wrote:

>On Mar 1, 9:57 am, Larry Jaques <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>
>> Q: What happens when you play a country and western record backwards?
>>
>> A: Y'getcher girlfriend back. Y'getcher pickup truck back. Y'getcher
>> hounddog back. Y'getcher horse back. And y'getcher six-gun back.
>> (C&W's all about loss, pard.)
>
>DO try and stay on subject, C-less, please. We are talking about light
>bulbs here.
>Besides, playing records backwards can fark up your needle.
>
>*smirk*
>
>"turn me on deadman...turn me on deadman...." <fade out>
>
>How many JAPs (Jewish American Princesses) does it take to change a
>lightbulb?
>
>Two.... One to mix the martinis, the other to call dad.

Q: What did the JAP say when her boyfriend was making love to her?
A: Beige. Yes, I'll paint the ceiling beige.

Q: How do you know when a JAP is having an orgasm?
A: She drops her nail file.

...in the light bulb.

--
That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something
you've understood all your life, but in a new way.
-- Doris Lessing

LJ

Larry Jaques

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

01/03/2011 6:57 AM

On Tue, 1 Mar 2011 05:20:59 -0800 (PST), Robatoy
<[email protected]> wrote:

>On Feb 28, 10:03 pm, kimosabe <[email protected]> wrote:
>> How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>>
>> Two.
>> One to screw it in
>> and one to not screw it in.
>
>How many Country & Western singer does it take to screw in a
>lightbulb?
>
>Two. One to change the bulb, one to sing about how he's going to miss
>the old one.

Q: What happens when you play a country and western record backwards?

A: Y'getcher girlfriend back. Y'getcher pickup truck back. Y'getcher
hounddog back. Y'getcher horse back. And y'getcher six-gun back.
(C&W's all about loss, pard.)

--
That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something
you've understood all your life, but in a new way.
-- Doris Lessing

bb

basilisk

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

01/03/2011 11:20 AM

On Tue, 1 Mar 2011 08:16:33 -0800 (PST), Robatoy wrote:

> On Mar 1, 9:57 am, Larry Jaques <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>
>> Q: What happens when you play a country and western record backwards?
>>
>> A: Y'getcher girlfriend back. Y'getcher pickup truck back. Y'getcher
>> hounddog back. Y'getcher horse back. And y'getcher six-gun back.
>> (C&W's all about loss, pard.)
>
> DO try and stay on subject, C-less, please. We are talking about light
> bulbs here.
> Besides, playing records backwards can fark up your needle.
>
> *smirk*
>
> "turn me on deadman...turn me on deadman...." <fade out>
>
> How many JAPs (Jewish American Princesses) does it take to change a
> lightbulb?
>
> Two.... One to mix the martinis, the other to call dad.

uh-oh, here comes the PC sensitivity traing crowd.

basilisk

LJ

Larry Jaques

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

28/02/2011 9:09 AM

On Sun, 27 Feb 2011 22:00:29 -0800 (PST), Robatoy
<[email protected]> wrote:

>How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
>.
>.
>.
>.
>Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
>brightly colored machine tools.

Hey, I posted that one last week. Thief!

--
Invest in America: Buy a CONgresscritter today!

LJ

Larry Jaques

in reply to Robatoy on 27/02/2011 10:00 PM

01/03/2011 6:46 PM

On Tue, 01 Mar 2011 13:34:08 -0700, Just Wondering
<[email protected]> wrote:

>On 3/1/2011 7:57 AM, Larry Jaques wrote:
>> On Tue, 1 Mar 2011 05:20:59 -0800 (PST), Robatoy
>> <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>> On Feb 28, 10:03 pm, kimosabe<[email protected]> wrote:
>>>> How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>>>>
>>>> Two.
>>>> One to screw it in
>>>> and one to not screw it in.
>>>
>>> How many Country& Western singer does it take to screw in a
>>> lightbulb?
>>>
>>> Two. One to change the bulb, one to sing about how he's going to miss
>>> the old one.
>>
>> Q: What happens when you play a country and western record backwards?
>>
>> A: Y'getcher girlfriend back. Y'getcher pickup truck back. Y'getcher
>> hounddog back. Y'getcher horse back. And y'getcher six-gun back.
>> (C&W's all about loss, pard.)
>>
>That's not all you get back.
>
>
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEH6LNuKq-g
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F85UTbBrD8M
>
>BACKWARDS by Rascal Flatts

Thanks. So that's where it came from.

--
That is what learning is. You suddenly understand something
you've understood all your life, but in a new way.
-- Doris Lessing


You’ve reached the end of replies