The monkey cage at the Zoo smelled like this on some summer nights,
when the wind was wrong and the damp was rising. The light was greasy
and the carpet squished out a vile protest against his footsteps.
Norm Nowrecki had only been inside Momma's Basement for five minutes
and already he felt like he had a mouthful of dead flies.
The Defecators, the house band, pounded out their relentless one cord
backup to the insanely cackled lyrics of Louie Louie, without benefit
of melody or modulation.
The trolls had disported themselves about the Yoohoo bar in poses
intended to show their disinclination to appear as normal human
beings. Baggy black pants hung in such a way as to present their pale
pimpled flesh, arrayed in a display of derriere decolletage that might
have honorably been called 'plumber's cleavage' in people who had
jobs. The unremitting blackness of their attire served to set off the
grave-mocking palor of their countenances.
Nowrecki held a small block of cedar to his face and inhaled deeply to
keep from gagging.
The carefully studied androgeny of the troll's costumes did nothing to
hide the fact that this was a troll bar devoid of female inhabitants,
as was always the case with troll bars.
A sickening sweetness overwhelmed the cedar as a voice whispered wetly
into Norm's ear.
"Tage Frid."
The password! Norm dared not turn around but knew there was a friend
over his shoulder.
"Tage Frid."
Norm breathed back in a dead fly exhalation.
It was 'PineyWood' from the Wreck. No doubt about that, as the
redolent reminder of sanded Jummywood seeped through his troll
disguise to such a degree that it drowned out even the strident
sweetness of the Yoohoo.
Norm hoped that the trolls would take it to be a cheap body oil used
in an attempt to disguise the usual trollish lack of attention to
personal hygiene.
"Fudgepacker's in the back room."
Mouthed Pineywood just above the din of The Defecators.
"How do we get in?"
Norm replied and turned to look at Piney.
He was shocked beyond measure at Piney's appearance.
Norm Nowrecki felt his gorge rise.
(Next Part - The Back Room.)
(Note: I put these little pieces up during heavy troll infestations
as a way of keeping our Wreckish spirits up. If any of you should
feel that it merely acts as troll attractant, let me know, and I will
cease.)
Regards, Tom
Thomas J. Watson-Cabinetmaker
Gulph Mills, Pennsylvania
http://users.snip.net/~tjwatson
snip of excellent vintage
Tom Watson wrote:
> (Next Part - The Back Room.)
> (Note: I put these little pieces up during heavy troll infestations
> as a way of keeping our Wreckish spirits up. If any of you should
> feel that it merely acts as troll attractant, let me know, and I will
> cease.)
Don't even think such a thing, I eagerly await next week's episode.
I'll even watch the newsreel. Where's the popcorn and jujubees?
Dave in Fairfax
--
reply-to doesn't work
use:
daveldr at att dot net
I doubt many of the trolls will see Tom's comments unless he chooses to
cross post.. ;~)
Seems to me that 99% of all the crap is from cross posts.
"bs" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Keep it coming Tom - you have one helluva sense of humor and despite what
> others will say, the trolls will come whether you post or not so let's
enjoy
> the humor of it all and I'll deal with the trolls, one by one.
>
> Bob S.
>
>
>
Bravo! Keep 'em coming...
For those of us in the IT/security world...Tom's stories remind me of
another...
http://blogs.ittoolbox.com/security/ <<== OT, I know, but also good
for a laugh when surrounded by cluelessness.
-Aaron
"bs" <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...
> Keep it coming Tom - you have one helluva sense of humor and despite what
> others will say, the trolls will come whether you post or not so let's enjoy
> the humor of it all and I'll deal with the trolls, one by one.
>
> Bob S.