GL

"Gerry Lintonice"

04/10/2005 5:30 PM

Creating a wooden sex-partner ...

I must admit that nobody wants to fuck me in real-life. So I want to
create a wooden sex-partner for myself.

Do you think I can carve a wooden human out of a very big piece of
wood? The most important part for me is the penis, of course.

Can you help me?


This topic has 8 replies

Sb

"SonomaProducts.com"

in reply to "Gerry Lintonice" on 04/10/2005 5:30 PM

05/10/2005 11:55 AM

If you want it to match your own manhood you might carve down a
toothpick.

JJ

John

in reply to "Gerry Lintonice" on 04/10/2005 5:30 PM

05/10/2005 3:44 AM

On 4 Oct 2005 17:30:17 -0700, "Gerry Lintonice"
<[email protected]> wrote:

>I must admit that nobody wants to fuck me in real-life. So I want to
>create a wooden sex-partner for myself.
>
>Do you think I can carve a wooden human out of a very big piece of
>wood? The most important part for me is the penis, of course.
>
>Can you help me?

"Lie to me, Pinnochio, lie to me!!!"

John

Bb

Badger

in reply to "Gerry Lintonice" on 04/10/2005 5:30 PM

05/10/2005 9:32 PM

Gerry Lintonice wrote:

> I must admit that nobody wants to fuck me in real-life. So I want to
> create a wooden sex-partner for myself.
>
> Do you think I can carve a wooden human out of a very big piece of
> wood? The most important part for me is the penis, of course.
>
> Can you help me?
>
Only if your in the UK and like polished HARDWOODS ;-)

Hl

"Hedley"

in reply to "Gerry Lintonice" on 04/10/2005 5:30 PM

04/10/2005 8:46 PM

http://www.fenceposts.org/fp.html

No construction needed, but you may want to "shape" the business end.



"Gerry Lintonice" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>I must admit that nobody wants to fuck me in real-life. So I want to
> create a wooden sex-partner for myself.
>
> Do you think I can carve a wooden human out of a very big piece of
> wood? The most important part for me is the penis, of course.
>
> Can you help me?
>

Rd

Robatoy

in reply to "Gerry Lintonice" on 04/10/2005 5:30 PM

05/10/2005 1:45 AM

In article <[email protected]>,
"Gerry Lintonice" <[email protected]> wrote:

> I must admit that nobody wants to fuck me in real-life. So I want to
> create a wooden sex-partner for myself.
>
> Do you think I can carve a wooden human out of a very big piece of
> wood? The most important part for me is the penis, of course.
>
> Can you help me?

There have been some discussions and links in this news group to plans
for a trebuchet.
With a few minor modifications, you can make it slam something up your
ass.

Ww

Wally

in reply to "Gerry Lintonice" on 04/10/2005 5:30 PM

05/10/2005 10:04 PM

Pinochio was receiving complaints from his girlfriend about
consummating their passions. "Every time we make love", she said, "I
get splinters!" So he went back to his maker, Geppeto, the carpenter,
to ask for help.
"Sandpaper, my boy, that's what you need!" was the Geppeto's response.
A couple of weeks later the Geppeto asked Pinochio, "How are you
getting on with the girls now?"
"Women!" said Pinochio, "Who needs women?"

md

mac davis

in reply to "Gerry Lintonice" on 04/10/2005 5:30 PM

05/10/2005 8:52 AM

On Wed, 05 Oct 2005 03:44:50 +0100, John <[email protected]> wrote:

>On 4 Oct 2005 17:30:17 -0700, "Gerry Lintonice"
><[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>I must admit that nobody wants to fuck me in real-life. So I want to
>>create a wooden sex-partner for myself.
>>
>>Do you think I can carve a wooden human out of a very big piece of
>>wood? The most important part for me is the penis, of course.
>>
>>Can you help me?
>
>"Lie to me, Pinnochio, lie to me!!!"
>
>John

ROFLMAO


mac

Please remove splinters before emailing

VB

"Vic Baron"

in reply to "Gerry Lintonice" on 04/10/2005 5:30 PM

05/10/2005 1:59 AM


"Gerry Lintonice" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>I must admit that nobody wants to fuck me in real-life. So I want to
> create a wooden sex-partner for myself.
>
> Do you think I can carve a wooden human out of a very big piece of
> wood? The most important part for me is the penis, of course.
>
> Can you help me?
>

you MUST be sure to sand it very, very well! A splinter can get you out of
the mood very fast.


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