Enjoy
Lew
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a
sign out of the corner of his eye . . . . . It reads:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES
He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on, without
a
second thought.
Soon he sees another sign which reads:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES
Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives
past
a third sign saying:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT
His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive.
On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small
sign
next to the door reading:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
He climbs the steps and rings the bell.
The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks,
"What may we do for you my son?"
He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in
possibly doing business. .. . ."
"Very well my son. Please follow me."
He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented.
The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man,
"Please knock on this door."
He does so and another nun in a long black habit, holding a tin cup,
answers the door...
This nun instructs, . . . "Please place $100 in the cup, then go
through the
large wooden door at the end of the hallway."
He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through
the
door pulling it shut behind him.
The door locks and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing
another
sign:
GO IN PEACE!
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER.
the version I heard when I was a wee lad had our hero going through a 20
minute shaggy dog story of choosing between entering A or B doors.. blondes,
brunettes, lomg/short hair, tall or short, etc etc ad nauseolum
..
finally arrives at a pair of doors. one marked "soft c*nts" the other "hard
c^nts." Walks through the first door and finds self out in street with door
slamming behind him.
Dunno if this translates well into American idiomatic English, though
On a somewhat similar vein...
A man rolls into a smallish town a bit dry and stops at the local bar.
After quenching his thirst, he asks about the possibility of obtaining
the services of a consenting woman...
The Bartender tells him the only person in town is a nun that lives
upstairs, and to go up the stairs, third door on the right and knock.
The man does as instructed and after knocking on the door, hears a
sultry voice inside asking "What do you want?"
The man replies "I want to get screwed."
After a moment, the voice inside says "Push twenty dollars under the door."
He does so, and stands there a couple of minutes, but nothing else
happens. Finally, he knocks on the door again.
"What do you want?" comes the voice from the other side of the door.
"I want to get screwed" he replies...
"What, Again??"
On Jun 1, 10:00=A0pm, "Lew Hodgett" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Enjoy
>
> Lew
>
> A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a
>
> sign out of the corner of his eye . . . . . It reads:
>
> SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
> HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
> 10 MILES
>
> He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on, without
> a
>
> second thought.
>
> Soon he sees another sign which reads:
>
> SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
> HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
> 5 MILES
>
> Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives
> past
>
> a third sign saying:
>
> SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
> HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
> NEXT RIGHT
>
> His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive.
> On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small
> sign
> next to the door reading:
>
> SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
>
> He climbs the steps and rings the bell.
> The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks,
> "What may we do for you my son?"
>
> He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in
>
> possibly doing business. .. . ."
>
> "Very well my son. =A0Please follow me."
>
> He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented.
>
> The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man,
> "Please knock on this door."
>
> He does so and another nun in a long black habit, holding a tin cup,
>
> answers the door...
>
> This nun instructs, . . . "Please place $100 in the cup, then go
> through the
>
> large wooden door at the end of the hallway."
>
> He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through
> the
>
> door pulling it shut behind him.
>
> The door locks and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing
> another
>
> sign:
>
> GO IN PEACE!
> YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE
> SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
> SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER.
Said the horny but lazy chief abbot,
"When I see a monk's ass, I just grab it.
Though it's vastly more fun,
To ravish a nun,
It takes days to get into the habit."
On Jun 20, 3:00=A0pm, Bored Borg <[email protected]>
wrote:
> the version I heard when I was a wee lad had our hero going through a 20
> minute shaggy dog story of choosing between entering A or B doors.. blond=
es,
> brunettes, lomg/short hair, tall or short, etc etc ad nauseolum
> ..
> finally arrives at a pair of doors. one marked "soft c*nts" the other "ha=
rd
> c^nts." Walks through the first door and finds self out in street with do=
or
> slamming behind him.
>
> Dunno if this translates well into American idiomatic English, though
Loud and clear here in Canada.
Lew Hodgett wrote:
> Enjoy
>
> Lew
> A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a
>
> sign out of the corner of his eye . . . . . It reads:
>
> SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
> HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
> 10 MILES
>
> He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on, without
> a
>
> second thought.
>
> Soon he sees another sign which reads:
>
> SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
> HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
> 5 MILES
>
> Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives
> past
>
> a third sign saying:
>
> SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
> HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
> NEXT RIGHT
>
> His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive.
> On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small
> sign
> next to the door reading:
>
> SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
>
> He climbs the steps and rings the bell.
> The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks,
> "What may we do for you my son?"
>
> He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in
>
> possibly doing business. .. . ."
>
> "Very well my son. Please follow me."
>
> He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented.
>
> The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man,
> "Please knock on this door."
>
> He does so and another nun in a long black habit, holding a tin cup,
>
> answers the door...
>
> This nun instructs, . . . "Please place $100 in the cup, then go
> through the
>
> large wooden door at the end of the hallway."
>
> He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through
> the
>
> door pulling it shut behind him.
>
> The door locks and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing
> another
>
> sign:
>
> GO IN PEACE!
> YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE
> SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
> SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER.
>
>
>
Thanks for the laugh......
Bored Borg <[email protected]> wrote:
: the version I heard when I was a wee lad had our hero going through a 20
: minute shaggy dog story of choosing between entering A or B doors.. blondes,
: brunettes, lomg/short hair, tall or short, etc etc ad nauseolum
: ..
: finally arrives at a pair of doors. one marked "soft c*nts" the other "hard
: c^nts." Walks through the first door and finds self out in street with door
: slamming behind him.
: Dunno if this translates well into American idiomatic English, though
Nope.
-- Andy Barss