O/T: Atlanta Airport

"Leon" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> "krw" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> On Fri, 4 Sep 2009 22:20:01 -0500, "Leon" <[email protected]>
>>>>
>>>> It's pretty bad when one has to justify one's sense of humor, but here
>>>> goes... Humor take a *little* subtlety. With the "eastbound" and
>>>> "westbound" both on 9L, in addition to being incorrect (to cause a
>>>> crash), isn't at all subtle.
>>>
>>>There you go again!
>>
>> You like to be told the punch line before the end of the joke?
>> Figures. No thought needed.
>
> It was a joke for God's sake.

But he never did say what the wind direction was they he'd have two planes
on 9L.

"FrozenNorth" wrote
> What did Cinderella say when she left the photo store?
>
> Someday my prints will come...
>
Groannnn...

"krw" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> That would be "cleared to land on runway 27L". Makes the joke better
> too, even it has to be 'splained.

I'll bet you're a blast at parties. Analyze a joke and offer tips to make it
better.
Nothing like being popular eh?

> -------------------------------------------------------
>
> Atlanta ATC:
> "Tower to Saudi Air 511 --
> You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R
>
> Saudi Air:
> "Thank you Atlanta ATC.
> Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R
> Allah be Praised."
>
> Atlanta ATC:
> "Tower to Iran Air 711 --
> You are cleared to land westbound on runway 27L."
>
> Iran Air:
> "Thank you Atlanta ATC.
> We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 27L.
> Allah is Great."
>
> Pause...**
>
> Saudi Air:
> " ATLANTA ATC - ATLANTA ATC"**
>
> Atlanta ATC:
> "Go ahead Saudi Air 511."
>
> Saudi Air:
> "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFTS
> FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE
> DIRECTIONS.
>
> WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE...
> INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE."**
>
> Atlanta ATC:
> "Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus.
> Y'all be careful now and tell Allah "hey" for us -- "
>
>
>

In article
<8b2d8443-0afa-4246-a224-0f633b68b84f@g19g2000yqo.googlegroups.com>,
Robatoy <[email protected]> wrote:
> IMHO, they stopped making Kodachrome when they discontinued the 25 ASA
> stuff.

That was indeed a sad day.

On Fri, 4 Sep 2009 22:20:01 -0500, "Leon" <[email protected]>
wrote:

>
>"krw" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>news:[email protected]...
>> On Fri, 4 Sep 2009 05:55:53 -0400, "Ed Pawlowski" <[email protected]>
>> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>"krw" <[email protected]> wrote in message >>You are cleared to land
>>>eastbound on runway 9R
>>>>
>>>> No need for "eastbound". Runway 9 is headed East.
>>>
>>>How many people know that?
>>
>> Doesn't matter. There is no joke this way. Everything is too
>> obvious.
>
>Who could have seen you coming back with that line. Can we see a show of
>hands?

If the statement was so obvious that the answer was also, it was
pretty stupid to make the statement, huh?

>>>> That would be "cleared to land on runway 27L". Makes the joke better
>>>> too, even it has to be 'splained.
>>>
>>>If you have to explain, it is not funny. We all stand in awe of you
>>>knowledge of the airport, but please, don't ever try to be a stand up
>>>comic
>>>where you have to explain stuff. You'll starve.
>>
>> It's pretty bad when one has to justify one's sense of humor, but here
>> goes... Humor take a *little* subtlety. With the "eastbound" and
>> "westbound" both on 9L, in addition to being incorrect (to cause a
>> crash), isn't at all subtle.
>
>There you go again!

You like to be told the punch line before the end of the joke?
Figures. No thought needed.

On Sat, 5 Sep 2009 07:39:12 -0500, "Leon" <[email protected]>
wrote:

>
>"krw" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>news:[email protected]...
>> On Fri, 4 Sep 2009 22:20:01 -0500, "Leon" <[email protected]>
>>>>
>>>> It's pretty bad when one has to justify one's sense of humor, but here
>>>> goes... Humor take a *little* subtlety. With the "eastbound" and
>>>> "westbound" both on 9L, in addition to being incorrect (to cause a
>>>> crash), isn't at all subtle.
>>>
>>>There you go again!
>>
>> You like to be told the punch line before the end of the joke?
>> Figures. No thought needed.
>
>It was a joke for God's sake.

It was?

On Sep 4, 4:54=A0pm, "Ed Pawlowski" <[email protected]> wrote:
> "Elrond Hubbard" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>
> news:[email protected]...
>
>
>
>
>
> > FrozenNorth <[email protected]> wrote in
> >news:[email protected]:
>
> >> Ed Pawlowski wrote:
> >>> "FrozenNorth" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> >>>news:[email protected]...
> >>>> Leon wrote:
> >>>>> "Charlie Self" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> >>>>> news:fadfc70e-3a49-40eb-a608-70da88207052
> > @j19g2000yqk.googlegroups.c
> >>>>> om... On Sep 4, 10:09 am, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
> >>>>>> Don't you just love it when you have some "air port heads" try to
> >>>>>> explaing a
> >>>>>> joke to every one else, when they already get it and have moved on
> >>>>>> to other
> >>>>>> things?
> >>>>> God help someone on here telling a joe about camera. I'll nail 'em
> >>>>> if they have one fact crossways.
>
> >>>>> LOL, =A0 and if you don't get'm Charlie, I'll be there. =A0;~)
> >>>> What did Cinderella say when =A0she left the photo store?
>
> >>>> Someday my prints will come...
>
> >>>> --
> >>>> Froz...
>
> >>> It would be funnier if she was on the way to Atlanta airport. to pick
> >>> up someone and =A0his airplane was on runway 9 and diverted to runway
> >>> 27L. Lemme explain. Atlanta airport is really named
> >>> Hartsfiled-Jackson International. =A0 OK, now we get to the really
> >>> hilarious part . . . . .
>
> >> A fellow was visiting the Vatican and became separated from his tour
> >> group. After wandering for awhile, he needed to relieve himself. He
> >> finally found a bathroom and wandered in. You can imagine his surprise
> >> to discover the Pope sitting on the toilet masturbating. Figuring that
> >> this was an attraction few tourists ever saw, he snapped a couple of
> >> pictures. The Pope managed to recover his composure and offered the
> >> fellow $10,000 for the camera. The fellow decide to take him up on the
> >> offer and an exchange was arranged.
>
> >> The camera was a pretty nice unit, so after disposing of the film, the
> >> Pope decided he would use it on his world travels. One day while
> >> visiting a foreign country, a faithful follower noticed the Pope's
> >> camera and remarked that it was quite a unit. He then asked,
>
> >> 'How much did you pay for it?'
>
> >> 'Ten thousand dollars.'
>
> >> 'Wow, the guy who sold you that must have seen you coming!'
>
> > What type of film was it?
>
> > Did he buy the film at the airport?
>
> They stopped making Kodachrome. =A0That would be funny if it was. He coul=
d
> have projected the outcome

IMHO, they stopped making Kodachrome when they discontinued the 25 ASA
stuff.

Upscale wrote:

>
> "krw" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>> That would be "cleared to land on runway 27L". Makes the joke better
>> too, even it has to be 'splained.
>
> I'll bet you're a blast at parties. Analyze a joke and offer tips to make
> it better.
> Nothing like being popular eh?

... and that's nothing like it. /Groucho
--

There is never a situation where having more rounds is a disadvantage

Rob Leatham

"Elrond Hubbard" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> FrozenNorth <[email protected]> wrote in
> news:[email protected]:
>
>> Ed Pawlowski wrote:
>>> "FrozenNorth" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>>> news:[email protected]...
>>>> Leon wrote:
>>>>> "Charlie Self" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>>>>> news:fadfc70e-3a49-40eb-a608-70da88207052
> @j19g2000yqk.googlegroups.c
>>>>> om... On Sep 4, 10:09 am, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
>>>>>> Don't you just love it when you have some "air port heads" try to
>>>>>> explaing a
>>>>>> joke to every one else, when they already get it and have moved on
>>>>>> to other
>>>>>> things?
>>>>> God help someone on here telling a joe about camera. I'll nail 'em
>>>>> if they have one fact crossways.
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> LOL, and if you don't get'm Charlie, I'll be there. ;~)
>>>> What did Cinderella say when she left the photo store?
>>>>
>>>> Someday my prints will come...
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> --
>>>> Froz...
>>>
>>> It would be funnier if she was on the way to Atlanta airport. to pick
>>> up someone and his airplane was on runway 9 and diverted to runway
>>> 27L. Lemme explain. Atlanta airport is really named
>>> Hartsfiled-Jackson International. OK, now we get to the really
>>> hilarious part . . . . .
>>>
>>>
>> A fellow was visiting the Vatican and became separated from his tour
>> group. After wandering for awhile, he needed to relieve himself. He
>> finally found a bathroom and wandered in. You can imagine his surprise
>> to discover the Pope sitting on the toilet masturbating. Figuring that
>> this was an attraction few tourists ever saw, he snapped a couple of
>> pictures. The Pope managed to recover his composure and offered the
>> fellow $10,000 for the camera. The fellow decide to take him up on the
>> offer and an exchange was arranged.
>>
>> The camera was a pretty nice unit, so after disposing of the film, the
>> Pope decided he would use it on his world travels. One day while
>> visiting a foreign country, a faithful follower noticed the Pope's
>> camera and remarked that it was quite a unit. He then asked,
>>
>> 'How much did you pay for it?'
>>
>> 'Ten thousand dollars.'
>>
>> 'Wow, the guy who sold you that must have seen you coming!'
>
> What type of film was it?
>
> Did he buy the film at the airport?
>
>

They stopped making Kodachrome. That would be funny if it was. He could
have projected the outcome

RE: Subject

As J Carson is reported to have said, if you have to examine it, it
ain't funny.

Lew

"Doug Miller" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> In article <[email protected]>, "Leon"
> <[email protected]> wrote:

>>
>>Oh that really really really makes the joke funnier. ha, ha? ;~)
>
> For those of us that already knew how runways are numbered (SWMBO and her
> brother both are former military aviators, that's how I learned), it
> actually
> does improve the joke because there isn't a "hey, that's not how it
> works!!"
> moment interrupting the flow. OTOH, for those who didn't already know, and
> I
> suspect that's a large majority, adding the explanation would probably
> make it
> a lot *less* funny.

Yeah but! Now I know and still don't think it improves the the joke. ;~)

"krw" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On Fri, 4 Sep 2009 22:20:01 -0500, "Leon" <[email protected]>
>>>
>>> It's pretty bad when one has to justify one's sense of humor, but here
>>> goes... Humor take a *little* subtlety. With the "eastbound" and
>>> "westbound" both on 9L, in addition to being incorrect (to cause a
>>> crash), isn't at all subtle.
>>
>>There you go again!
>
> You like to be told the punch line before the end of the joke?
> Figures. No thought needed.

It was a joke for God's sake.

"krw" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...

>>
>>Atlanta ATC:
>>"Tower to Saudi Air 511 --
>>You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R
>
> No need for "eastbound". Runway 9 is headed East.

Really!? When will it be back?



> That would be "cleared to land on runway 27L". Makes the joke better
> too, even it has to be 'splained.

I don't see that, can you explain?

Leon wrote:
> "Charlie Self" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:fadfc70e-3a49-40eb-a608-70da88207052@j19g2000yqk.googlegroups.com...
> On Sep 4, 10:09 am, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
>> Don't you just love it when you have some "air port heads" try to explaing
>> a
>> joke to every one else, when they already get it and have moved on to
>> other
>> things?
>
> God help someone on here telling a joe about camera. I'll nail 'em if
> they have one fact crossways.
>
>
> LOL, and if you don't get'm Charlie, I'll be there. ;~)
>
What did Cinderella say when she left the photo store?

Someday my prints will come...


--
Froz...

"FrozenNorth" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> Leon wrote:
>> "Charlie Self" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>> news:fadfc70e-3a49-40eb-a608-70da88207052@j19g2000yqk.googlegroups.com...
>> On Sep 4, 10:09 am, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
>>> Don't you just love it when you have some "air port heads" try to
>>> explaing a
>>> joke to every one else, when they already get it and have moved on to
>>> other
>>> things?
>>
>> God help someone on here telling a joe about camera. I'll nail 'em if
>> they have one fact crossways.
>>
>>
>> LOL, and if you don't get'm Charlie, I'll be there. ;~)
> What did Cinderella say when she left the photo store?
>
> Someday my prints will come...
>
>
> --
> Froz...

It would be funnier if she was on the way to Atlanta airport. to pick up
someone and his airplane was on runway 9 and diverted to runway 27L.
Lemme explain. Atlanta airport is really named Hartsfiled-Jackson
International. OK, now we get to the really hilarious part . . . . .

[email protected] (Doug Miller) wrote in
news:[email protected]:

> In article <[email protected]>, "Leon"
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>>
>>"krw" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>>news:[email protected]...
>>
>>>>
>>>>Atlanta ATC:
>>>>"Tower to Saudi Air 511 --
>>>>You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R
>>>
>>> No need for "eastbound". Runway 9 is headed East.
>>
>>Really!? When will it be back?
>>
>>> That would be "cleared to land on runway 27L". Makes the joke
>>> better too, even it has to be 'splained.
>>
>>I don't see that, can you explain?
>
> The runway number indicates the compass bearing in increments of ten
> degrees, e.g. runway 9 = bearing 90 degrees = due east, runway 18 =
> bearing 180 degrees = due south, etc.
>
> Opposite bearings being 180 degrees apart, opposite-direction runway
> numbers are 18 apart, e.g. 9 and 27, 0 and 18, and so on.
>
> At larger airfields runways often occur in left and right pairs
> designated xxL and xxR. 9L and 27R, and 9R and 27L, refer to the same
> strips of tarmac. The L and R switch places because what's on your
> left if you're heading east is on your right if you're heading west,
> and vice versa.
>

This one just gets funnier and funnier!

FrozenNorth <[email protected]> wrote in
news:[email protected]:

> Ed Pawlowski wrote:
>> "FrozenNorth" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>> news:[email protected]...
>>> Leon wrote:
>>>> "Charlie Self" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>>>> news:fadfc70e-3a49-40eb-a608-70da88207052
@j19g2000yqk.googlegroups.c
>>>> om... On Sep 4, 10:09 am, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
>>>>> Don't you just love it when you have some "air port heads" try to
>>>>> explaing a
>>>>> joke to every one else, when they already get it and have moved on
>>>>> to other
>>>>> things?
>>>> God help someone on here telling a joe about camera. I'll nail 'em
>>>> if they have one fact crossways.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> LOL, and if you don't get'm Charlie, I'll be there. ;~)
>>> What did Cinderella say when she left the photo store?
>>>
>>> Someday my prints will come...
>>>
>>>
>>> --
>>> Froz...
>>
>> It would be funnier if she was on the way to Atlanta airport. to pick
>> up someone and his airplane was on runway 9 and diverted to runway
>> 27L. Lemme explain. Atlanta airport is really named
>> Hartsfiled-Jackson International. OK, now we get to the really
>> hilarious part . . . . .
>>
>>
> A fellow was visiting the Vatican and became separated from his tour
> group. After wandering for awhile, he needed to relieve himself. He
> finally found a bathroom and wandered in. You can imagine his surprise
> to discover the Pope sitting on the toilet masturbating. Figuring that
> this was an attraction few tourists ever saw, he snapped a couple of
> pictures. The Pope managed to recover his composure and offered the
> fellow $10,000 for the camera. The fellow decide to take him up on the
> offer and an exchange was arranged.
>
> The camera was a pretty nice unit, so after disposing of the film, the
> Pope decided he would use it on his world travels. One day while
> visiting a foreign country, a faithful follower noticed the Pope's
> camera and remarked that it was quite a unit. He then asked,
>
> 'How much did you pay for it?'
>
> 'Ten thousand dollars.'
>
> 'Wow, the guy who sold you that must have seen you coming!'

What type of film was it?

Did he buy the film at the airport?

Ed Pawlowski wrote:
> "FrozenNorth" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> news:[email protected]...
>> Leon wrote:
>>> "Charlie Self" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>>> news:fadfc70e-3a49-40eb-a608-70da88207052@j19g2000yqk.googlegroups.com...
>>> On Sep 4, 10:09 am, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
>>>> Don't you just love it when you have some "air port heads" try to
>>>> explaing a
>>>> joke to every one else, when they already get it and have moved on to
>>>> other
>>>> things?
>>> God help someone on here telling a joe about camera. I'll nail 'em if
>>> they have one fact crossways.
>>>
>>>
>>> LOL, and if you don't get'm Charlie, I'll be there. ;~)
>> What did Cinderella say when she left the photo store?
>>
>> Someday my prints will come...
>>
>>
>> --
>> Froz...
>
> It would be funnier if she was on the way to Atlanta airport. to pick up
> someone and his airplane was on runway 9 and diverted to runway 27L.
> Lemme explain. Atlanta airport is really named Hartsfiled-Jackson
> International. OK, now we get to the really hilarious part . . . . .
>
>
A fellow was visiting the Vatican and became separated from his tour
group. After wandering for awhile, he needed to relieve himself. He
finally found a bathroom and wandered in. You can imagine his surprise
to discover the Pope sitting on the toilet masturbating. Figuring that
this was an attraction few tourists ever saw, he snapped a couple of
pictures. The Pope managed to recover his composure and offered the
fellow $10,000 for the camera. The fellow decide to take him up on the
offer and an exchange was arranged.

The camera was a pretty nice unit, so after disposing of the film, the
Pope decided he would use it on his world travels. One day while
visiting a foreign country, a faithful follower noticed the Pope's
camera and remarked that it was quite a unit. He then asked,

'How much did you pay for it?'

'Ten thousand dollars.'

'Wow, the guy who sold you that must have seen you coming!'

--
Froz...

"krw" <[email protected]> wrote in message >>You are cleared to land
eastbound on runway 9R
>
> No need for "eastbound". Runway 9 is headed East.

How many people know that?


>
> That would be "cleared to land on runway 27L". Makes the joke better
> too, even it has to be 'splained.

If you have to explain, it is not funny. We all stand in awe of you
knowledge of the airport, but please, don't ever try to be a stand up comic
where you have to explain stuff. You'll starve.

On Fri, 4 Sep 2009 05:55:53 -0400, "Ed Pawlowski" <[email protected]>
wrote:

>
>"krw" <[email protected]> wrote in message >>You are cleared to land
>eastbound on runway 9R
>>
>> No need for "eastbound". Runway 9 is headed East.
>
>How many people know that?

Doesn't matter. There is no joke this way. Everything is too
obvious.

>> That would be "cleared to land on runway 27L". Makes the joke better
>> too, even it has to be 'splained.
>
>If you have to explain, it is not funny. We all stand in awe of you
>knowledge of the airport, but please, don't ever try to be a stand up comic
>where you have to explain stuff. You'll starve.

It's pretty bad when one has to justify one's sense of humor, but here
goes... Humor take a *little* subtlety. With the "eastbound" and
"westbound" both on 9L, in addition to being incorrect (to cause a
crash), isn't at all subtle.

Lew Hodgett wrote:
> You gotta love this one if you have flown in/out of Atlanta or even if
> you've never lived in the South or flown in/out of Atlanta.
>
> Some of you will enjoy this more than others..
> Southerners can be so polite!
>
> Enjoy
>
> Lew
> -------------------------------------------------------
>
> Atlanta ATC:
> "Tower to Saudi Air 511 --
> You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R
>
> Saudi Air:
> "Thank you Atlanta ATC.
> Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R
> Allah be Praised."
>
> Atlanta ATC:
> "Tower to Iran Air 711 --
> You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."
>
> Iran Air:
> "Thank you Atlanta ATC.
> We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R.
> Allah is Great."
>
> Pause...**
>
> Saudi Air:
> " ATLANTA ATC - ATLANTA ATC"**
>
> Atlanta ATC:
> "Go ahead Saudi Air 511."
>
> Saudi Air:
> "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFTS
> FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE
> DIRECTIONS.
>
> WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE...
> INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE."**
>
> Atlanta ATC:
> "Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus.
> Y'all be careful now and tell Allah "hey" for us -- "

I think the joke would be way funnier if you had Saudi Air 711 make the
panic call.

See, 711 is flying west, away from Mecca, whereas 511 would be facing Mecca
when he died, so, for 511, it would be no big deal.

On Fri, 04 Sep 2009 03:47:38 GMT, "Lew Hodgett"
<[email protected]> wrote:

>You gotta love this one if you have flown in/out of Atlanta or even if
>you've never lived in the South or flown in/out of Atlanta.
>
>Some of you will enjoy this more than others..
>Southerners can be so polite!
>
>Enjoy
>
>Lew
>-------------------------------------------------------
>
>Atlanta ATC:
>"Tower to Saudi Air 511 --
>You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R

No need for "eastbound". Runway 9 is headed East.


>Saudi Air:
>"Thank you Atlanta ATC.
>Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R
>Allah be Praised."
>
>Atlanta ATC:
>"Tower to Iran Air 711 --
>You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."

That would be "cleared to land on runway 27L". Makes the joke better
too, even it has to be 'splained.

>Iran Air:
>"Thank you Atlanta ATC.
>We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R.
>Allah is Great."
>
>Pause...**
>
>Saudi Air:
>" ATLANTA ATC - ATLANTA ATC"**
>
>Atlanta ATC:
>"Go ahead Saudi Air 511."
>
>Saudi Air:
>"YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFTS
>FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE
>DIRECTIONS.
>
>WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE...
>INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE."**
>
>Atlanta ATC:
>"Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus.
>Y'all be careful now and tell Allah "hey" for us -- "
>
>

On Sep 4, 12:37=A0pm, FrozenNorth <[email protected]>
wrote:
> Leon wrote:
> > "Charlie Self" <[email protected]> wrote in message
> >news:fadfc70e-3a49-40eb-a608-70da88207052@j19g2000yqk.googlegroups.com..=
.
> > On Sep 4, 10:09 am, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
> >> Don't you just love it when you have some "air port heads" try to expl=
aing
> >> a
> >> joke to every one else, when they already get it and have moved on to
> >> other
> >> things?
>
> > God help someone on here telling a joe about camera. I'll nail 'em if
> > they have one fact crossways.
>
> > LOL, =A0 and if you don't get'm Charlie, I'll be there. =A0;~)
>
> What did Cinderella say when =A0she left the photo store?
>
> Someday my prints will come...
>
> --
> Froz...

That hurts.
Congratulations.

On Sep 4, 10:09=A0am, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Don't you just love it when you have some "air port heads" try to explain=
g a
> joke to every one else, when they already get it and have moved on to oth=
er
> things?

God help someone on here telling a joe about camera. I'll nail 'em if
they have one fact crossways.

Ed Pawlowski wrote:
> "krw" <[email protected]> wrote in message >>You are cleared to
> land eastbound on runway 9R
>>
>> No need for "eastbound". Runway 9 is headed East.
>
> How many people know that?

General rule--put a zero at the end of the runway number and you have the
heading. So Runway 9 points 90 degrees or due east.

>> That would be "cleared to land on runway 27L". Makes the joke better
>> too, even it has to be 'splained.
>
> If you have to explain, it is not funny. We all stand in awe of you
> knowledge of the airport, but please, don't ever try to be a stand up
> comic where you have to explain stuff. You'll starve.

No need to even know the name of the airport--27 is headed 270 degrees. In
other words it's Runway 9 only you're flying the opposite direction. 27L
would be the one to the left as you're approaching--27L would be 9R (means
that there are two runways pointing the same direction--I dunno what they do
if they have three pointing the same way, if any such airport exists).

In article <[email protected]>, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>"krw" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>news:[email protected]...
>
>>>
>>>Atlanta ATC:
>>>"Tower to Saudi Air 511 --
>>>You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R
>>
>> No need for "eastbound". Runway 9 is headed East.
>
>Really!? When will it be back?
>
>> That would be "cleared to land on runway 27L". Makes the joke better
>> too, even it has to be 'splained.
>
>I don't see that, can you explain?

The runway number indicates the compass bearing in increments of ten degrees,
e.g. runway 9 = bearing 90 degrees = due east, runway 18 = bearing 180 degrees
= due south, etc.

Opposite bearings being 180 degrees apart, opposite-direction runway numbers
are 18 apart, e.g. 9 and 27, 0 and 18, and so on.

At larger airfields runways often occur in left and right pairs designated xxL
and xxR. 9L and 27R, and 9R and 27L, refer to the same strips of tarmac. The L
and R switch places because what's on your left if you're heading east is on
your right if you're heading west, and vice versa.

"J. Clarke" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> No need to even know the name of the airport--27 is headed 270 degrees.
> In
> other words it's Runway 9 only you're flying the opposite direction. 27L
> would be the one to the left as you're approaching--27L would be 9R (means
> that there are two runways pointing the same direction--I dunno what they
> do
> if they have three pointing the same way, if any such airport exists).

Dulles International, KIAD. Runway 1 and 19, right, center, and left.

"J. Clarke" <[email protected]> wrote:

>I dunno what they do
>if they have three pointing the same way, if any such airport exists).

Adjust the number as little as possible.
ATL has five parallel runways: 9L/27R, 9R/27L, 8L/26R, 8R/26L, and
10/28. All are E/W (true), +2 degrees magnetic.
--
Alex -- Replace "nospam" with "mail" to reply by email. Checked infrequently.

krw <[email protected]> wrote:

>On Fri, 04 Sep 2009 03:47:38 GMT, "Lew Hodgett"
><[email protected]> wrote:
>
>>You gotta love this one if you have flown in/out of Atlanta or even if
>>you've never lived in the South or flown in/out of Atlanta.
>>
>>Some of you will enjoy this more than others..
>>Southerners can be so polite!
>>
>>Enjoy
>>
>>Lew
>>-------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>Atlanta ATC:
>>"Tower to Saudi Air 511 --
>>You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R
>
>No need for "eastbound". Runway 9 is headed East.
>
>
>>Saudi Air:
>>"Thank you Atlanta ATC.
>>Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R
>>Allah be Praised."
>>
>>Atlanta ATC:
>>"Tower to Iran Air 711 --
>>You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."
>
>That would be "cleared to land on runway 27L". Makes the joke better
>too, even it has to be 'splained.

While I would find it funnier that way, I have to agree with most of
the posters here. It is just fine the way it is for an audience
without aviation knowledge. Sure, if you were going to post it in a
rec.aviation group, you should make the changes you suggest. But it
works the way it is for a broader audience.
--
Alex -- Replace "nospam" with "mail" to reply by email. Checked infrequently.

"alexy" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>>That would be "cleared to land on runway 27L". Makes the joke better
>>too, even it has to be 'splained.
>
> While I would find it funnier that way, I have to agree with most of
> the posters here. It is just fine the way it is for an audience
> without aviation knowledge. Sure, if you were going to post it in a
> rec.aviation group, you should make the changes you suggest. But it
> works the way it is for a broader audience.

All storytelling requires the audience to participate by suspending
disbelief. The storyteller's job is to coax them into doing so. A boner like
this one jars them out of it, ruins the show for them, and you likely won't
get them back. Do that a few more times, each time losing 1 in 3 or 1 in 4,
and you're left talking to a silent room.

In article <[email protected]>, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
>
>"Doug Miller" <[email protected]> wrote in message
>news:[email protected]...
>> In article <[email protected]>, "Leon"
>> <[email protected]> wrote:
>>>> That would be "cleared to land on runway 27L". Makes the joke better
>>>> too, even it has to be 'splained.
>>>
>>>I don't see that, can you explain?
>>
>> The runway number indicates the compass bearing in increments of ten degrees,
>> e.g. runway 9 = bearing 90 degrees = due east, runway 18 = bearing 180 degrees
>> = due south, etc.
>>
>> Opposite bearings being 180 degrees apart, opposite-direction runway numbers
>> are 18 apart, e.g. 9 and 27, 0 and 18, and so on.
>>
>> At larger airfields runways often occur in left and right pairs designated xxL
>> and xxR. 9L and 27R, and 9R and 27L, refer to the same strips of tarmac. The L
>> and R switch places because what's on your left if you're heading east is on
>> your right if you're heading west, and vice versa.
>
>Oh that really really really makes the joke funnier. ha, ha? ;~)

For those of us that already knew how runways are numbered (SWMBO and her
brother both are former military aviators, that's how I learned), it actually
does improve the joke because there isn't a "hey, that's not how it works!!"
moment interrupting the flow. OTOH, for those who didn't already know, and I
suspect that's a large majority, adding the explanation would probably make it
a lot *less* funny.

Elrond Hubbard wrote:
> FrozenNorth <[email protected]> wrote in
> news:[email protected]:
>
>> A fellow was visiting the Vatican and became separated from his tour
>> group. After wandering for awhile, he needed to relieve himself. He
>> finally found a bathroom and wandered in. You can imagine his surprise
>> to discover the Pope sitting on the toilet masturbating. Figuring that
>> this was an attraction few tourists ever saw, he snapped a couple of
>> pictures. The Pope managed to recover his composure and offered the
>> fellow $10,000 for the camera. The fellow decide to take him up on the
>> offer and an exchange was arranged.
>>
>> The camera was a pretty nice unit, so after disposing of the film, the
>> Pope decided he would use it on his world travels. One day while
>> visiting a foreign country, a faithful follower noticed the Pope's
>> camera and remarked that it was quite a unit. He then asked,
>>
>> 'How much did you pay for it?'
>>
>> 'Ten thousand dollars.'
>>
>> 'Wow, the guy who sold you that must have seen you coming!'
>
> What type of film was it?
>
> Did he buy the film at the airport?

I want to hear the particulars of how the pope came up with all that
money. I mean, it's got to be a tad difficult to just magically produce
$10,000, even if your are the pope. Right?

--
If it ain't perfect, improve it...
But don't break it while you're fixin' it!
To reply, eat the taco.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bbqboyee/

"Lew Hodgett" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> You gotta love this one if you have flown in/out of Atlanta or even if
> you've never lived in the South or flown in/out of Atlanta.
>
> Some of you will enjoy this more than others..
> Southerners can be so polite!
>
> Enjoy
>
> Lew
> -------------------------------------------------------
>
> Atlanta ATC:
> "Tower to Saudi Air 511 --
> You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R
>
> Saudi Air:
> "Thank you Atlanta ATC.
> Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R
> Allah be Praised."
>
> Atlanta ATC:
> "Tower to Iran Air 711 --
> You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."
>
> Iran Air:
> "Thank you Atlanta ATC.
> We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R.
> Allah is Great."
>
> Pause...**
>
> Saudi Air:
> " ATLANTA ATC - ATLANTA ATC"**
>
> Atlanta ATC:
> "Go ahead Saudi Air 511."
>
> Saudi Air:
> "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFTS
> FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE
> DIRECTIONS.
>
> WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE...
> INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE."**
>
> Atlanta ATC:
> "Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus.
> Y'all be careful now and tell Allah "hey" for us -- "

Tower: "Saudi Air 511 Heavy, turn left two zero. Cleared the visual approach
runway niner right. Good day."

"Saudi Air five one one heavy. Left two zero. Cleared visual niner right.
Thankyougooday."

"Iran Air seven one one, turn left heading tree zero zero. Descend and
maintain two five hundred until localizer. Cleared visual approach runway
two seven left. Good day."

"Iran Air seven one one. Left tree zero zero. Two thousand five hundred. Say
again runway?"

"Iran Air seven one one, cleared the visual two seven left. Two seven lima."

"Iran Air seven one one. Unable two seven lima. Missed approach."

Quite frankly, I can't find the joke in it. Killing 600 noncombatants on
political and ideological principles is my kind of fun, but I don't see the
joy or humor in it. At least, nothing on the same level as poking some fun
at the non-swimming ex-senator from Illinois. Are we now all out of jokes on
the PC-safe victim grouops? You know, the lawyers, blondes, retards, beer
swilling boomhauers, or sexually repressed and stereotyped clergymen?

and bless yer hearts, all of yuh, y'all.
:-)

On Fri, 04 Sep 2009 03:47:38 GMT, "Lew Hodgett"
<[email protected]> wrote:

>Atlanta ATC:
>"Well bless your hearts. And praise Jesus.
>Y'all be careful now and tell Allah "hey" for us -- "

Having been born and raised in the South, it's sort of second nature
to me, but Yankees sometimes don't realize that "Bless his/her/your
heart" makes everything all right.

As in "He is one unmitigated, sorry-assed piece of pond scum! Bless
his heart."

Tom Veatch
Wichita, KS
USA

Don't you just love it when you have some "air port heads" try to explaing a
joke to every one else, when they already get it and have moved on to other
things?

"Charlie Self" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:fadfc70e-3a49-40eb-a608-70da88207052@j19g2000yqk.googlegroups.com...
On Sep 4, 10:09 am, "Leon" <[email protected]> wrote:
> Don't you just love it when you have some "air port heads" try to explaing
> a
> joke to every one else, when they already get it and have moved on to
> other
> things?

God help someone on here telling a joe about camera. I'll nail 'em if
they have one fact crossways.


LOL, and if you don't get'm Charlie, I'll be there. ;~)

"krw" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> On Fri, 4 Sep 2009 05:55:53 -0400, "Ed Pawlowski" <[email protected]>
> wrote:
>
>>
>>"krw" <[email protected]> wrote in message >>You are cleared to land
>>eastbound on runway 9R
>>>
>>> No need for "eastbound". Runway 9 is headed East.
>>
>>How many people know that?
>
> Doesn't matter. There is no joke this way. Everything is too
> obvious.

Who could have seen you coming back with that line. Can we see a show of
hands?

>
>>> That would be "cleared to land on runway 27L". Makes the joke better
>>> too, even it has to be 'splained.
>>
>>If you have to explain, it is not funny. We all stand in awe of you
>>knowledge of the airport, but please, don't ever try to be a stand up
>>comic
>>where you have to explain stuff. You'll starve.
>
> It's pretty bad when one has to justify one's sense of humor, but here
> goes... Humor take a *little* subtlety. With the "eastbound" and
> "westbound" both on 9L, in addition to being incorrect (to cause a
> crash), isn't at all subtle.

There you go again!

"Ed Pawlowski" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
>
> It would be funnier if she was on the way to Atlanta airport. to pick up
> someone and his airplane was on runway 9 and diverted to runway 27L.
> Lemme explain. Atlanta airport is really named Hartsfiled-Jackson
> International. OK, now we get to the really hilarious part . . . . .
>


Wooooo don't stop NOW!!! tell it all! LOL

"Doug Miller" <[email protected]> wrote in message
news:[email protected]...
> In article <[email protected]>, "Leon"
> <[email protected]> wrote:
>>> That would be "cleared to land on runway 27L". Makes the joke better
>>> too, even it has to be 'splained.
>>
>>I don't see that, can you explain?
>
> The runway number indicates the compass bearing in increments of ten
> degrees,
> e.g. runway 9 = bearing 90 degrees = due east, runway 18 = bearing 180
> degrees
> = due south, etc.
>
> Opposite bearings being 180 degrees apart, opposite-direction runway
> numbers
> are 18 apart, e.g. 9 and 27, 0 and 18, and so on.
>
> At larger airfields runways often occur in left and right pairs designated
> xxL
> and xxR. 9L and 27R, and 9R and 27L, refer to the same strips of tarmac.
> The L
> and R switch places because what's on your left if you're heading east is
> on
> your right if you're heading west, and vice versa.


Oh that really really really makes the joke funnier. ha, ha? ;~)